We All Wait for the Cool, Don't We?

This canoe trip was taken up our bend in the river on October 5. The leaves had not changed to that beautiful fall by then but were just showing their potential. But the cooler early morning air was "breathtaking."  A canoe is a quiet way to glide and move.

We had not been out in months.  The summer humid air was too hot and humid and as an elder, it is hard to take.  But then, the fall weather arrived overnight and the next morning we got up early, packed a light lunch, and set out in eagerness to see nature.  

We skirted the shoreline where the neighborhood is trying to develop an oyster reef at the point in the photo below.  The water was a mirror.

A small group of deer were grazing on the ridge. One of the neighbors has set up a deer blind and it is rare to see deer now and these stay at the far end of the point.  We did startle a blue heron as we turned the corner.

The sun had barely crested the trees on the opposite side of the river, but when the rays hit the shoreline, they revealed that autumn was coming.

We were the only boaters out and about.  All was pristine and quiet.  We love that we can do that by getting up earlier in the fall mornings. The serious fisherpeople had left hours earlier and were out at the Bay or the wider mouth of the river where the bigger fish are more available.  Our more prosperous neighbors had begun to tuck their toys back in for warmer days.

I caught a very blurry photo of a red-bellied woodpecker.  This was cropped quite a bit as he was high in a far tree.  He is on the big trunk on the left side.  If you cannot see him, that is OK.

The sun got brighter as we turned facing east. And then we turned into the darker finger that was at the end where our river comes to a small highway bridge and we watched the sun touch that side.

There isa bit more before we turned home and I will make that Part II.

Autumn Makes Photographers Just a Little Crazy

Below are photos of my Black Haw or Viburnum as it turns color this fall. It is a shrub that gets about six feet high and five or six feet across and has many little baby plants. Birds eat those dark blue seeds. The first photo is the original with a little bit of denoise and lightening. The rest are fun filters. Do you have a favorite?

October Has Filled Already!

Sunsets are nearer my side of the river just at dinner now.

Who cares if dinner gets cold?

On the other side of things, the days shorten quietly and quickly. I wake up at dawn thinking it is early, but the morning has already showered and dressed and is on its way as industrious humans head to places of work. 

I start the water pot for coffee.   I am inside watching a show on the incineration of a hospital far, far away. I can barely watch it, but it is important. According to the news, Americans in the United States are looking for someone to lead with a shouting and testosterone-filled voice rather than a gentle grandfather voice. They do not care what he says, but how he says it. They do not want a female to lead because she cannot talk in a loud voice without sounding shrill and females are not willing to kill relentlessly. 

 The corner of my eye catches the moment a bright white kite sails over the river. It is one of our resident seagulls looking for breakfast and drifting above our little finger of the river. 

 Our leaves have not changed, although my sugar maple (not native and planted by me for the "fall orange crush" which, by the way, is not anything like pumpkin spice) is just beginning to blush. 

 Autumn is a time for changing how we eat and bringing out the stews and hearty soups and I search the Internet for something new. I make a ham and bean soup and take it up to my son and his wife with the toddler. 

Sliding down Mother Goose

Checking out the photos.

Sadly, I took a fall over a baby gate 12 days ago while visiting. (Yes I do seem to be falling more but in my defense there was a bar across the very last step of the stairs giving the person only 4 or 5 inches on the last step, which I missed and stepped onto the floor!).  I have been sitting more to avoid the pain of movement from the back side of my butt. I am also using fire and ice. I could not have fallen safer or better because I landed on the fattest part of my body as I grabbed the post of the stairway and swung backward! The RA says if the pain does not reduce in 4 or 5 more days, I should get an X-ray for fractures, but he feels I am in not enough pain for it to be bone damage. Good thing I lift ankle weights where I have grown some muscle butt. No flat backside for this old lady. Yes, I swear more these days, but they are just words and not actions, so get over it.

We actually took a fall leaf peeping trip last weekend in spite of my injury and I will post on that.

Now I will go and read some posts.

Ophelia and Other Females

According to Wikipedia "Ophelia (/əˈfiːliə/) is a character in William Shakespeare's drama Hamlet (1599–1601). She is a young noblewoman of Denmark, the daughter of Polonius, sister of Laertes, and potential wife of Prince Hamlet, who, due to Hamlet's actions, ends up in a state of madness that ultimately leads to her drowning."

An appropriate name for the latest tropical storm that hit our area over the weekend.  Many of the low-lying shops and low-lying streets in our coastal towns were flooded by about a foot to two feet of water.  The population prepared, so no tragedies!  At least 48 hours of rain and winds up to 50 miles per hour.

We had to head up to the city to Grand-sit this past weekend because my daughter and her husband were headed to the Eastern Shore beaches for a 50th birthday party for a friend.  So we were stuck inside with the teenagers (only two since one is away at college) and my daughter was at the Eastern shore facing walls of wind and rain.  I am sure they spent most of their celebratory time at the restaurants and bar!

The youngest boy was easy to entertain and watch (12 years old).  We took some dog walks and saw a movie.  The older girl was a real reminder about teenagers and teenage love.  Her grades had been low and since she failed to update her parents on that situation she was grounded for the weekend except for being able to cheer at the football game.  (The love of her life is a football player).

Photos were taken with my new Pixel phone since I did not take my camera due to the possible torrents of rain (which did not happen).

One of the sweet young things below is my granddaughter cheering her high school team and her boyfriend on.

Seems that when we got home she had to go back outside about 9:30 to meet her boyfriend who was dropping off a jacket!  After 15 minutes we had to go out and get her back in the house.  According to her mother who was on the Eastern Shore she is able to track her location and it seems she snuck out after we went to bed!  I was listening carefully for noises but fell asleep at midnight.  If I had not trusted her, I would have slept on the living room sofa and stopped her, but alas, I failed.  My daughter did not think us old grandparents were at fault, but thanks to technology you can track your kids.  They can even track their college kid and see where he is on the campus several states away!

Alas, teenage love is so beautiful and so dangerous.

Time

I wonder as I age about the (my) concept of time. One definition I found on that vast and scary Internet is "the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole:"

The indefinite part is not totally accurate.  Time does move on and new things begin while old things end.  That is NOT indefinite.  The actual when and where may be indefinite.  

My husband's dementia is with us every day.  It moves forward very slowly but even that is a frightening pace of movement.  

My body and its aging fight me tooth and nail.  If I fail to exercise both brain and body for any length of time I become some stiff robot crossing the room.

One gift from aging is perspective.  My first grandchild is in his first year of college and I wish I could dump on him tons of wisdom.  But one cannot force-feed a young adult who is already being bombarded with all kinds of demands, events, new situations, and challenges.  I think all of us elders wish we could pass along perspective.  Maybe in the future that can be done with technology, but actually, that does sound a bit scary.  Lessons learned from a lack of perspective can be valuable.

I sent him a box of cookies and candy and Halloween stuff.  He texted back:

Thanks so much for the package!  I just received it and I love the Halloween stuff.  I just realized that I have no decorations so this will be useful.  College so far has been very fun and I've been finding my people.  I've been addicted to the rock climbing gym here and I'm also really enjoying the food.  The workload had been a little annoying but I'm sure I'll get used to it....

I would like to be him.  He has a better attitude toward college than I did.  He is an introvert but realizes that he must make an effort for friendships.  I did not realize that either.

This cup in the photo above is something that he gave me many Christmases ago.  I have several from each of the grandchildren and their worth is beyond any amount of money I could ever get.  I was once told the story of the two on either side of the highway on the cup but sadly forgot.  That is something I may ask again.  Just looking at that cup really takes my breath away.  It is time travel.  It is its own time machine.

A Meeting of Stangers

My world is still pockata, pockata, pockating along. My life seems to be running like an old model T. It is not as smooth or as fast as those EV vehicles that silently zip by me and pass me and with drivers that may or may not wave.  They can go farther and more quietly.  I may groan or grunt or even snap, but I will move forward just pocketing along.

I recently went with some new friends to Hilton Head Island to stay for a week at a place there.  It was within walking distance of the huge beach and also had enough pools that we could swim in the indoor pool by ourselves!  We could use the jacuzzi also.  All the parents and grandparents were in the larger outdoor pool in the sun leaving the indoor pool as a quiet haven.

We did not know these friends who journeyed with us very well.  We did not know their politics and just a little of their religion, but all four of us were brave enough to move into a week of challenges on the island and eventually sit out Hurricane Idelia for a day!  I usually bring easy-to-cook foods for vacation--premade stuff that tastes OK, but do not spend much time in the kitchen.  My friend likes to cook and spent several evenings doing that!  The breakfast that she cooked was lovely.

It was healthy to boot!!

Idelia passed us with some nasty sheets of rain, but most of the tree damage and flooding was to the north of us.

Hubby and I drove further south to visit with his high school friend.  That was a different visit in that they are lovely and smart people whom I barely knew, but they said that they love their Gov. *Desantis* and voted for Cheeto head in the prior Presidential election.  Needless to say, we did not discuss politics much.  When leaving the church on a Sunday, I saw a police car parked in front of the church.  When I asked my friend about that, she said many of the churches now have that because of the shootings.  (There were only white people in this church and the sermon that day was about football!)  They do not seem to see the reason for this safety "necessity" and I will bet $100 that neither the black churches in that part of the state nor the Jewish synagogues had courtesy police cars on Sunday!

Anyway, they live in one of the loveliest parts of the state.

Now for the payment of my life of leisure, I am being punished by a pile of back mail, bills to pay, laundry to do, and restocking the fridge!  And when done I have an English class to teach and then I go to exercise and if time I will catch up on my Blog reading!

Broken Hearted and Looking Back

I have been wanting to post but just have not been able to get the energy or heart to do so. 

As my readers may remember, I was on the island of Maui the second week of July. I spent an afternoon in the small tourist town of Lahaina touring with my husband. We were just walking around, visiting a local bar for lunch and a drink and walking around under the famous Banyan tree...the oldest in the U.S. 

We got a nice view of the tree from our lunch table as well.

After lunch, we spent time talking to a lovely local lady who was the greeter at a historic missionary property nearby (the Baldwin Home that had been preserved in the small tourist town). We talked about a lot of stuff with her as she was social. We learned how she had integrated herself (she might have been African American) into the Hawaiian culture when she married a Hawaiian and found that she was not expected to cook and that her husband did most of the cooking as did all the men in his family. 

Then we toured the small and well-preserved missionary house for some time. It was a four-bedroom single-level structure. It was small and much like you would expect and I wish I had taken photos. The home had been built in 1834 and the brochure said it was the oldest house still standing. "The home was deeded to the Lahaina Restoration Foundation in 1967 and was restored to its 1850 design based on careful documentation and archaeological research." 

I have no idea if the dear lady we talked to is still there and survived the fire but I am sure the missionary house is gone. 

I had not visited there for more than a few decades and as an interested history buff, I was able to really absorb Lahaina and its local atmosphere around me. I had lived in the Pacific and understood the missionary impact, the whaling impact, etc. The great whaling port went through ups and downs in an economy that affected so many small indigenous groups while the European white man overharvests and becomes rich. 

I remember a sweet and religious young lady that Ubered us down to Lahaina that afternoon and talked about the closeness of the Maui community. She was not Polynesian but one of those women who did multiple jobs to make ends meet. I do not know if she is still alive as well.

Hawaii does have an actual friendly and neighborly culture from the Polynesians and other Asians who live there. It is not some fake personality they put on for the tourists. Polynesians, Filipinos, and others live and work there and are very generous of heart and mind. We toured a very small and local animal farm on a hillside on the island with my baby granddaughter. I have no idea if it is still there because it was midway between Lahaina and where we stayed. The farm, open by appointment only, was mostly rescue animals and run by a lady whose love of animals clouded the realistic view of caring for so many different animals. "Ditzy" was the word my husband and son used for her, I was thinking she was a bit clouded by the love of animals. She had recently broken her ankle and was hobbling around. The day we toured the farm, she said that a small brush fire had started at the driveway down the hillside and the fire station had called her as a warning. It was put out by the time she arrived. 

This whole tragedy brought back memories of my life on a small farm in Colorado. My father had ten acres of farmland which he really no longer farmed except for some alfalfa for our milk cow and vegetables which my mother canned.  There were about 4 aces that were left untouched and which grew only grasses and weeds.  Because this acreage was on a downward hill and faced the railroad tracks, my father would mow it low every year because he was afraid some spark from the train would start a brush fire.  Colorado, like the Lahaina side of Maui, is very dry and sometimes windy and nurtures wild fires.

MCD#1

My husband was diagnosed with "mild cognitive impairment" over a year ago. Why did we go in for a diagnosis?  His mother had dementia in her last years.  He was forgetting more than usual.  Adding one plus one meant we should at the very least get a referral for a neurologist.  This is my first post about this challenge because I did not want my blog to be singularly focused on this new challenge and I really did not know what to write.

The neurologist ran a number of tests, completed an MRI, and had him do a sleep study at a sleep study center.  They then diagnosed "mild cognitive impairment."  We saw the neurologist on a monthly or bi-monthly basis until we realized that he usually sent his assistant, with her piles of disorganized papers on her lap, to ask us a bunch of the same questions and ask him to perform the same physical tests and then send us home.  We eventually realized it was just "data collection" on their end and they were not being honest about that.  So he now has a new doctor who at least is honest in not needing to see us very often---even though he is Chinese American and almost impossible to understand!  Hubby takes a medicine that is supposed to slow or arrest plaque development...but it is NOT the new medicine. 

Medical professionals will not tell you that:

    There is not much they can do.

    Everyone proceeds toward brain impairment at a different pace.

    Not everything is or leads to Alzheimer's.

And if, like my husband, you are still pretty functional, they really want to focus on those who are not.

 Symptoms of dementia depend on the type a person has, but they typically include: 

• memory problems asking the same question repeatedly 
• difficulty finding or understanding words 
• feeling confused in an unfamiliar environment 
• problems dealing with money and numbers 
• anxiety and withdrawal 
• difficulty planning and carrying out tasks 
• mood changes 
• personality and behavioral changes 
• sleep disturbances 
• changes in social awareness, such as making inappropriate jokes 
• obsessive tendencies

Hubby once or three times a week asks the same question.  He has very mild difficulty finding words, but since he once had a huge vocabulary and completed a Ph.D., this is noticeable.  I usually do the ticket at the restaurant as he has difficulty with numbers.  He is a pleasant soul and like his mother will probably never have unusual anxiety or withdrawal or dramatic mood changes.  He sleeps like a log for about 10 hours, something I wish I could do.  He is only obsessive about keeping busy and running errands and he can still drive.  He has trouble with facial recognition when we are watching TV shows.

I dread the day when I will have to be the one to take him around to his projects and friends.  It will mean several hours out of every day.  But there are worse things to dread in life.

I mentioned to his Doctor that I was going to be on the lookout for paranoia (wondering if he was going to think I was hiding things!) when the doctor turned to me and said I had to worry about me being paranoid.  I had to realize that he was not pretending to forget stuff so that he did not have to do it.  And the doctor was correct!  It is hardest for me to be calm about stuff!  I am working on it.

The Rest of the Trip

We managed to coordinate all of the activities which included our 53 -year-vow renewal, which also included my son-in-law's Birthday dinner. My daughter and son-in-law went out while we ate with the others. Activities also included my son's anniversary dinner for the two of them. 

We babysat for the anniversary dinner so that they could go to some lovely overpriced place and have quiet time.  And, of course, a fire dance Luau.  

That was some of the good stuff. I think my best breakfast was at Western Cafe in Honolulu which has a souffle pancake that melts in your mouth.

And there is (sadly) always room for the rest of the story. Our flight home was not without the passionate and unpredictable Madame Pele giving a shove off. Due to hubby's dementia, he had put down his backpack while we went through security, and as they allowed us through I did not see it in front of my suitcase. So when I went to pass through the final gate I tripped and fell face down over the bag and brought down my carryon beside me. He had just turned to make sure he had not forgotten anything, but it was too late for me. I was more embarrassed than anything as the young TSA agents helped me to my feet. We did go on ahead a bit stunned. As an afterthought, I was thankful that I had worn the compression stockings for the long flight back as the bruising and swelling on my knee and shin were greatly reduced and I had no trouble walking! 

But Madame Pele was not finished with me yet! As we boarded the plane a young man was having trouble fitting his carry-on in the overhead bin and I showed him a place behind me that had more room. As he turned to see the place his bag fell out of the overhead compartment where it was precariously balanced and hit me on the forehead pushing my glasses down my nose! It was a very mild hit considering! Needless to say, I only left my seat once to use the bathroom figuring I had pushed my luck as far as it would go.

Can You Accept What is Out of Your Control or Do You Just Bitch?

Yes, I have returned from my twelve-day jaunt to Oahu, Kauai, and Maui. If you recalled this was something that our children insisted upon when we had to cancel our original 50-year anniversary trip plans during the COVID year.  My husband and I were graduate students at the University of Hawaii and met there and married there.

As I have written, I was not excited or thrilled about his trip and it was mostly due to my pessimism toward projects when others have great expectations and for which there are lots of details.  There were so very many details in moving eleven people from island to island and making sure there were reservations when needed for restaurants, boats, or even helicopters.

So how did it go (?) you may ask.  Reasonably well I may answer considering all the moving parts.  It was not outstanding because there were a number of hiccups throughout.

The night before our arrival in Denver to change planes on the first leg of the journey, there were some serious thunderstorms across the mid-US which led to over 1,100 plane cancellations.  Some say this was the biggest mess of the travel season in the U.S.  No, our flights were not among the canceled, but it did mean the airport was filled to capacity with passengers trying to make new connections.  We were stuck on the lower floor of the airport where the shuttle trains broke down and could not run to bring people to their gates for at least 30-minute intervals.  Some were stuck in those shuttle trains shoulder to shoulder with the doors closed, while the rest of us stood outside waiting for the trains to move so a new train that was empty would appear and let us get on.

There was much shouting and cheering and when we finally caught our 6.5-hour flight to Honolulu I was exhausted.  We checked into our hotel on Waikiki Beach, walked around a bit, ate a light dinner, and then collapsed in our hotel room.  

When I got up the next morning, I was still tired and thinking it was jet lag, pushed myself to Mount Tantelus for a familiar view and a brief hike.  We did not rent a car and found ourselves Ubering everywhere.  Even with the limited cell service up Mount Tantalus, we were able to get an Uber back after a short hike through the forest.   We then visited our Alma Mater, the University of Hawaii.

I was surprised that my old Hall did not look the same and the library had changed quite a bit from over 50 years ago.  My husband could not visit his office building without a code so we peeked through the door and talked to some graduate students outside.  The trees on the campus were 50 years older and provided much-beloved shade while the footprint of the campus seemed smaller somehow ;-).

Hubby had gotten a blister on Oahu and we literally got lost at the gigantic Ala Moana Shopping Center looking for an athletic shoe store.  People must get lost there every day.  Terrible design, very few maps, and way too many stores for the rich people!

Two days later I was still not feeling better and took a COVID test, and sure enough, I had caught COVID, probably in Denver.

I was not coughing or sneezing, just tired and achy.  This is my second bout with this virus.  I started wearing a mask and did not cancel my flight to Kauai to meet up with my family.  I told them and they were disappointed both for me and also disappointed that I could not babysit the little one while the parents took a helicopter flight over the island.  My daughter took my place, but it was tough because the baby was cranky and jet-lagged.

Most of my time was spent in the hotel room and out of the lovely pools.  I did finally get a negative result and could re-enter the family at the same time that the baby got sick.  Perhaps with COVID, but we will never know as it was a 48-hour fever and then she was back to normal.  

We stayed in only the nicest places because it was a once-in-a-lifetime celebration.  Too bad I was hotel bound mostly.

In the middle of the trip when we took our vows on the beach and went out to a fancy dinner we were all well.  The vows were beautiful but the dinner was served 45 minutes late!  Another hiccup.

One of the evenings my crazy daughter thought we should visit the Food Truck park in Maui where dozens of vendors provide all kinds of food.  The food was delicious and varied, BUT as in ALL of the Hawaiian islands these days near tourist places, non-indigenous and very aggressive birds hang out to steal anything you may drop.  The picnic tables were covered in bird poop...COVERED!  I was the only one that seemed to be bothered.  Even at the fancy resort on Maui a nasty Myna attacked my infant granddaughter to eat some rice she had in her hand during our outdoor breakfast.  If you do not believe me about these invasives, go here!  Mynas do carry salmonella and bird flu.

Well, I must wind this down and perhaps will post some of the best parts of the trip in the future.  Yes, there are always good parts and we must focus on that.

How Friendly Are You?

My husband is a very social person.  He makes friends wherever he goes.  He can be a bit overbearing and intense, but since he is pushing 80 most people forgive that energy, probably wishing they had that much energy themselves.  The first year we moved here people would say "hi" to him by name and I never knew who they were.  He volunteers in the community because he likes to get out of the house.  He has been diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment which may move to dementia (or not).  We are pushing for the "or not."  Anyway, he seems to know dozens of folks and they remember him.

As I have mentioned in prior posts, I am a bit of an introvert.  While I volunteer in the community I am not out and about that much.  I can socialize and frequently am good at drawing people out about their interests and their backgrounds.  I do this because I am actually interested in the lives of people.  I am not just trying to be nice.  About 50% of the time they remember my name.

I realize that I need to be more social.  If (when) I became widowed, I would sit at home and read, watch TV, exercise, garden, and maybe only use my voice to answer that rare phone call.  I might even become so desperate to talk to someone that I would answer a sales call about my car warranty.

I also should point out that I think people do not like me all that much.  No, really!  I am not looking for sympathy, but I could list a number of incidents in my life that make me question my personality as seen by others and also made me regret opening my mouth.  I am a 'little' outspoken, but I try to curb that.  Honesty is not always the best policy and I have to keep re-learning that.

Elders have trouble with their social circle as good friends move on or pass on as do family members, and soon you find your social circle very small since you no longer include work colleagues.  There are those elders, though, who remain well-loved and part of a stable social circle.  Maybe it has to do with church attendance, an energetic personality, and/or long-term hobbies that are social?

I was thinking about what I like in a friendship or personality that makes me want to spend time in their company.  What traits do I have that would make someone want to be my friend?  What do you seek out in a friendship?  What do you like in a person?  Do you take the leadership role in scheduling lunch or an activity or are you the one that goes along?  How stable is your circle of friends?  How close are your friendships?

Ok, enough questions.  Hope your weekend is friendly.

ALOOOOHA! and Murder

While I am trying to review our schedule for the upcoming Hawaii trip...first three days on Oahu, then four days on Kauai, and finally 6 days on Maui... I am trying to not fret because my daughter and my son have scheduled so much to do!  I am trying not to fret since it is a busy tourist season at airports.  I am trying not to fret as my elder mind and hubby's dementia make this a bit stressful.  This trip is a renewal of marriage vows, a celebration of my son-in-law's birthday, and a celebration of my son and his wife's anniversary.  The children, including the 14-month-old, are going!  It is a horrendously long flight.  We are leaving 4 days early, before the rest of the family, in order to adjust to the big time change.  So we are not able to fly with the two families as well as my daughter's mother-in-law and to assist with the little babe who is learning to walk!

I realized last week, that while hubby and I have been to and through the Hawaiian Isles many times and once even took a trip with my son and his wife before their new baby, the other side (my daughter's family) has not ever been there.  This will be a special trip for them...much more so than us.

I hate tourists and crowds and all and will try to be nice at the luau and the boat trip.  I hate artificially manufactured fun.  But I also realize this will be a good opportunity for candid photos on my part. (My dream of a vacation these days is a cabin on a lake and a small stack of books and UBEReats and watching wild animals from a distance.)

I did schedule a photographer for the renewal ceremony, at some expense, because I am of the belief that photographs are priceless in this ever-changing and rapidly disappearing world.

I am vain enough that I have upgraded my exercise routine since I will be spending some time in a swimsuit which I have not done for years.  I actually ran 3.6 miles on the elliptical yesterday!  No, I do not think someone in their late 70s can look sexy in a swimsuit, but they can look and be healthy.

I also purchased the e-version of Louise Penny's 11th book in her Three Pines murder mystery series of 17 books.  Yes, I am hooked and will slowly buy the set!  Amazon Prime smashed a few of her books into a TV series months ago, and while the casting was great, they missed so much.  Louse Penny is a bit of a poet, historian, and psychologist, so all of that goes into her books and is not conveyed in a shortened version of the mysteries on the screen.  Anyway, if we ever take time to sit on a beach, I may be able to read my new download.

I have pre-written a post on my other blog for later publishing and may have time to also write one more...I will see.

In the meantime I will leave you with this Hawaiian proverb, "In the end...we will take care of only what we love; We will love only what we understand; We will understand only what we are taught.'

Trauma and Resilience

In my last post, I wrote about my quick trip up to Chicago.  It was a good thing that both my husband and my daughter pushed me to go.  I have gotten more "hermitty" these years.  I do not think it is the result of the COVID crisis, but when we have PTSD reactions to traumatic events, we really may not realize both the reaction and the cause and may think it is just our brain providing good careful advice.  So, who knows?  I will possibly never know.  But it did reassure me that flights and hotel rooms can go smoothly and I will not be lost somewhere among skyscrapers.  Of course, I was with my well-traveled daughter who uses her phone like a gigantic file cabinet.

Regarding smoothness and trauma, I forgot to mention a discussion we had with our distant cousin in Chicago about EMDR.  This is a technique I had never heard about and you can read up on it in the grayed link above.  Anyway, as I wrote, our cousin is a young woman with her Doctorate in Nursing and takes on private clients to help them with drug addiction.  Yeah, no small thing!

She lives on a lovely tree-lined street just outside the city itself and in walking distance of the city businesses.  Her husband works at Northwestern University which is about a mile from their home.  It is a prime location.

Our cousin said she had used EMDR to help with a trauma that occurred months ago.  Their neighborhood had been without electricity for a day or so and she was in front of her house using her car to charge her cell phone.  (I did not ask, but she must have been pregnant then.)  Someone approached her, put a gun to her head, and stole her car leaving her stunned on the sidewalk.  

She managed to call the police but nothing came from that, except maybe interviewing her.  Doing research, she herself found her car and identified the man (actually a 16-year-old) that had carjacked her and threatened her life.  She reported that to the police, and either due to a tremendous backlog in life-threatening criminality there or Chicago's police bureaucracy, the 'man' was never arrested. ( I have great respect for our law-enforcement folks, but like our medical professionals and our public education professionals, they are overworked and in some cases underpaid.)  I mentioned to her that was awful and since he was young it would just embolden him until he gets killed.

Her response was, "He did get killed weeks later."

Anyway, she found that she could not get over the trauma as she had hoped  (no duh!).  She decided to use EMDR and said it really worked!  I will keep this in mind.  Our brain is a really amazing conglomeration of electricity!

Well, hopefully, my next post will be more uplifting on my other blog about Fred and Ethel as they now have a least one little one!  I have to work on that, after I read some blogs.

Zoom Zoom

On an upswing. My moods are unpredictable these days and I am sure it is because I am full-on into elder mode. My memories keep moving in and out interrupting my days.  The media ads for most useless stuff and concerning medicines, which I do not need, are all directed at people "60 and older". I am starting to move TWO decades past that, and the message is truly clear. I am OLD. I have talked with my doctor, but since I am not depressed or manic or even measurable, he is not concerned.  He has recommended I reduced my nerve/cough dose and while I am doing that, I find the cough sometimes comes back irregularly after over a  year of peace!  

I just returned from a 3-day trip to Chicago with my daughter.  She  has a  strong friendship  with a distant cousin that she met on Ancestry  and over the years we have watched this distant cousin grow from being a bulemic  and very quiet teenager to getting her Doctorate in  nursing and then marrying a  nice young neuroscientist and recently having a precious new little girl!  Such a  journey and I like to think my daughter's support had some role in that.  Daughter and I also took in a spa morning at a fancy old-world place in Chicago, which is certainly not my usual routine.  The weather was perfect!

This cousin we met is even more unusual as she explained that two of her brothers recently came out as  Gay.   I suspected this about one of the brothers years ago when  I met him.  Their mother is a nurse and one can only wonder if she expected this or not and how she deals with it.  Then prior to this her second daughter came out as lesbian!  Four children and only one of them is heterosexual!

Heading off this Saturday to help open a contest for young children to plant  tomatoes in canvas bags and attempt to win prizes at the end of summer based on their growing  skills after they take the plant home.   I will be on my feet 10:30 AM until  3:00 PM and tired when  I  get home.  Sunday I  am off to another gardening event where we staff a booth with activities for children who come to a park to see tractor pulls, bands, craft stuff, etc.  I will be on my feet from 8:00 until 5:00 most likely and totally wiped for Monday.  But we are going out for dinner that night with some new friends and hopefully, that will not be stressful and I will not fall face down into my dinner plate!  I do see old people do that, but it is usually in a rest home.