Sunday, October 29, 2017

The Fly on the Wall at Lunch With My Daughter

Subtitle: Why I am dressing as a ghoul for Halloween.

Me:  I saw those photos that you posted on FB.  With those women.  What were you celebrating?

Daughter:  It was sort of a bachelorette party for J.  She is getting married.

Me: Who is J?  Do I know her?

Daughter:  Remember she lives across the street?

Me:  The woman with a 7-year-old son and a daughter in a wheelchair?  I thought she was married?

Daughter:  No, they got divorced two years ago.  He already re-married and now she is re-marrying.

Me:  (Frowning)  Really...that is too bad.

Daughter:  No, Mom, is it all OK.  They have worked it all out and he lives nearby and takes the kids enough of the time.  They are happy.

Me:  So you also had dinner with M the other night. Just the two of you.  How did that go?
(M is an extremely special person to me, and I could not love her more if she was my own.)

Daughter:  She is still struggling.  She has no one to really talk to help her through this.

Me:  What about B?

Daughter:  B is really busy with the new baby.  Remember how you and I could never have a decent conversation once my son was 9 months and mobile?

Me:  Yeah.  I remember the shock of returning to the attempt to talk to adults with little ones.  What about her best friend S?

Daughter:  Well S discovered last month a lump in her breast and she has been diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer.  She may end up having both breasts removed.

Me:  (Sighing out loud and trying to fight back tears.)  Did M's weekend with the old college girlfriends help?  She posted pictures on FB.

Daughter:  Yes, but they are a day's drive away and both of them are really struggling with money issues in their families, so unable to drive up and visit at all.

Daughter:  She told me that she really has no one except her therapist.  She told me she is taking a collection of meds...antidepressants, etc.

Me:  ( I am frightened and speechless.)  Well, can we plan a "girls" weekend soon...maybe as a gift for her upcoming birthday?

Daughter:  Sure, just I cannot squeeze anything in until January. 

(My daughter is not exaggerating as she is always on the go with three kids and a very busy job that requires travel.  I am depressed among other things.)

The photo above is a solar-powered garbage barge in the harbor of the city. It cleans up all the paper and plastic and crap that blows from the restaurant tables of people busy living their lives but it does nothing to remove the ugly film of oil that floats on the surface constantly.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

A Night in the City

Hubby has a trip, a long trip both in time and space, that he is making. He is going to be gone for a month working on a project on the other side of the globe in the middle of the ocean.  He likes to tell others it is a company he started. It is not. It is a hobby he started employing a few staff at poverty wages, and it is a bone of contention between us in terms of its expense to our personal bottom line since there is no profit margin at this stage (the first decade of its operation!). It is keeping him alive and energized, so I am of two reactions on this "project" and do a continual dance.

Anyway, his first of four flights was departing at 4:55 in the morning this past Sunday.  Since the airport is an hour and a half from our house and since we did not want to pay for a month of long-term airport parking, I had to drive him up there.  But since he knew that he had to be there at 2:55 A.M. for check-in which meant we had to leave at 1:30 A.M. for departure from this house, he compromised by offering me a fancy dinner at the city restaurant and an overnight in the local airport hotel using points.  It meant I could sleep in, which I did, get one of those awful free breakfasts and leave for home the next day around 8:00 A.M.

I had not been in this city for over a year and was impressed by all the changes.  Like many cities, it has its challenges with crime, budget limitations, and culture issues.  But the state officials have made a deal with the devil (a fossil fuel company from another country) and seem to be able to upgrade the nicer parts of the city as this company moves into the state's rural areas and expose others to air pollution and sudden death---NOT an exaggeration as I live rurally.  Chances are slim this wealth will trickle down to the more challenging areas of the city and the school systems.  I have not given up hope, though.

Anyway, while walking around the more touristy parts of the city on a perfect fall weather afternoon, with only sparse numbers of tourists, it became a nice evening to say goodbye to my husband before our temporary separation.

Below, a few photos I captured after a fancy cocktail in one of the seafood restaurants.

Lots of new dock space for all the yachty types.

Lots of crime-free sidewalks to enjoy after dinner although a few skateboarders and bikers could have used some discipline.

Fancy places to work and to live in the heart of the city.

And plenty of chain restaurants to appease the citizens along with a lovely sunset.

Friday, October 20, 2017

If I Got Paid

My last post was over two weeks ago.  If I got paid for blogging I would hate the process because there would be deadlines. But since I don't, I can write when my mojo is puttering along and ignore the lack of a muse when my spirit is deflated. I guess I have been in a funk. Shall I list the reasons? Or would you rather avoid my complaints? They are big and small. The biggest is helping a loved one fight depression and alcoholism, fully knowing my help is in vain most times and realizing that I am only pretending to pull them back from the cliff. We are in good days now so I can focus on the blog and my glass is half full.

The medium reason for a lack of creativity is that multiple health problems have been visiting hubby. Nothing death threatening or even scary. Just constant reminders that our bodies are falling apart as we age and making me face up to the fact that I have to take on more responsibilities and accept a more careful lifestyle as the years move on.  (And also try to find more diplomatic ways to get him to slow down rather than screaming at him.)

Also, I have friends and friends of friends involved with the California fire disaster and I do feel helpless so far away. Yes, this is all linked to climate change... ALL the Armegaddon shocks as our oceans heat up. Scientists are now finding that the warmer the waters of the ocean the slower the circulation of the major currents and the potential for tremendous changes when those biggest bodies of water stop moving. It will mean climate changes in huge areas, loss of seafood, and loss of land food. (Some folks think the scientists are lying to get more money for grants for this research...go figure!)  China is not looking to expand their coal industry because they believe their scientists. They are putting huge sums of their money into solar farms. Just today the Saudi's admitted that developing solar farming is so cheap they have no trouble finding the lowest bid for their development...and they are an oil-rich country!

The smaller reasons for my funk, but no less important, and tied to the paragraph above, are the horrible things happening to our country and the way some Americans accept exaggeration, daily contradictory statements, and outright lying as a means to an end if they agree on that end. 

Well, now that I have got that off my chest, maybe I can actually write something next time!?

Saturday, October 07, 2017


A good blogger would have posted something by now.  I have wanted to write about privilege which then made me think I should tell you about the spiraling web of getting a Brazilian Visa and then I realized I have No Time. I sm busy most of this three-day weekend with volunteer work and then the following days with two medical appointments. OK. I will just leave you this photo from a few nights ago as our sun starts to set once again over the water.