Friday, August 03, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Everyone needs a quiet corner or a small space that sits waiting for them at the end of the day...waiting with 'open arms.' It does not have to be a fancy place with damask and lace curtains, but it should be a quiet and clean place where one can put down their burdens and put up their feet. The corner of my recently completed patio meets that qualification during the milder weather of the year. The chairs shown are old and from my mother-in-law's Florida room many years ago. Of the original four chairs only three are left and the cushions have worn thin. The cushion colors are faded and the ties are mostly broken. The chairs do not really fit the style of the patio, but they are too useful to toss away. They remind me of my M.O.L. who was a special and loving woman. If the cushions are not damp from a recent rain, I go out there with a good book and something to drink and perhaps my binoculars or camera and put my feet up on one of the chairs and sit back on the opposite chair and claim my corner of the world for an hour or so. (When I had toddlers the corner of respite was the guest bed when they were napping.)
Do you have a corner that you can claim?
Friday, February 06, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thus, I do carry some guilt with me as I do not think I have 'earned' this.
I carry some more guilt because I have not yet ventured out to share this time in a structured way with others who are not so lucky in this new community where I live. I am guilty because I do not feel lonely for being able to go for days at a time without meeting or talking to anyone, especially when my husband is on travel. I could so easily be a hermit.
I think this temporary withdrawal is because I was so bitter about the mediocrity and falseness of my last 5 years of employment. I was paid very well by the American taxpayer and not allowed to accomplish anything. I worked with people who created budgets that were never implemented and listed goals and milestones that could not be met without a fixed budget which we never got. It was a Dilbert world without the humor. (Our illustrious leader was a political appointee...need I say more?) Thus, I retired early taking a cut in retirement income. As a Type A, the alternative would have been slitting my wrists.
Perhaps, this procrastination now is because I feel as if I still have wounds to lick and a mind to heal.
But I have also learned that all those times I used to tell myself, "Once I get some free time..." have arrived. "Once I have more free time" I will exercise every day...not happening. I will sew those curtains after the New Year...fabric is still sitting in a plastic bag. I will paint the front room built-in so that it matches the trim...guess I will wait until spring so I can open the windows. I will repaint the trim in the kitchen so that it matches the cabinets...ditto. I will start with babysteps and drop by the local library and see if they need a volunteer or have a list of volunteer programs...soon I hope. I will garden more...that one is easy to do.
It is scary how easy it is to procrastinate especially when there are no immediately seen consequences for your bad habits.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
It is a daily race and you fall into bed at the end of the day, hoping your mind will slow down enough so that you can sleep.
Then, almost suddenly, but not without warning (children entering college, getting married, having their own little ones) you realize that the race is slowing way down. You have time to look to each side and not always ahead. You are going slow enough that you now no longer worry about tripping or mis-reading signs and taking the wrong side road. As a matter of fact, a side road is most appealing.
If you have good health and your finances are secure your side roads are more interesting and more available. But even if life didn't end up like a bushel of sweet peaches, there are still different opportunities and angles that you can think about.
I watched a movie starring one of my favorite actors, Judi Dench, called Ladies in Lavender last night. A scene in which Dench is lost in thought about missed opportunities in her life and future choices she must make remains in my thoughts. Dench is lying casually on her bed with daylight crossing her face showing how lost in thought she is. The scene hangs in my memory because the impression given was that she had been lying there thinking for a long time. I realized that I have not had an opportunity to be lost in thought for quite a while.
I remember days as a young child daydreaming for hours. Do children have time to do that today? Are their days so programmed with activities or so filled with technological temptations that they fail to exercise their thinking muscles and in turn their imagination growth? Are we becoming a nation of doers and not thinkers?
I guess this is why activities such as camping and canoeing appeal to my soul. There is usually time for thought. Walking is another thought-provoking activity I enjoy.
I have decided that getting a little more peace in my life for thought and helping others realize how important thought is will be a new goal in retirement. The next time someone asks me what I will do when I retire, I will answer "Think more."
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Mundaneness is taking over my spirit these days...a kind of plodding but contradictory busy mundaneness is filling every corner of my soul and sapping my elder strength. My blog entries have been what oil on the water I can corner and then send in razor thinness over the boring (to me) and flat blog ocean.
When my days and hours become like 'sand through the hourglass' it is time to take a break and restore one's soul.
Maybe the birth of the new one will inspire.