The neurologist ran a number of tests, completed an MRI, and had him do a sleep study at a sleep study center. They then diagnosed "mild cognitive impairment." We saw the neurologist on a monthly or bi-monthly basis until we realized that he usually sent his assistant, with her piles of disorganized papers on her lap, to ask us a bunch of the same questions and ask him to perform the same physical tests and then send us home. We eventually realized it was just "data collection" on their end and they were not being honest about that. So he now has a new doctor who at least is honest in not needing to see us very often---even though he is Chinese American and almost impossible to understand! Hubby takes a medicine that is supposed to slow or arrest plaque development...but it is NOT the new medicine.
Medical professionals will not tell you that:
There is not much they can do.
Everyone proceeds toward brain impairment at a different pace.
Not everything is or leads to Alzheimer's.
And if, like my husband, you are still pretty functional, they really want to focus on those who are not.
Symptoms of dementia depend on the type a person has, but they typically include:
- memory problems asking the same question repeatedly
- difficulty finding or understanding words
- feeling confused in an unfamiliar environment
- problems dealing with money and numbers
- anxiety and withdrawal
- difficulty planning and carrying out tasks
- mood changes
- personality and behavioral changes
- sleep disturbances
- changes in social awareness, such as making inappropriate jokes
- obsessive tendencies
Hubby once or three times a week asks the same question. He has very mild difficulty finding words, but since he once had a huge vocabulary and completed a Ph.D., this is noticeable. I usually do the ticket at the restaurant as he has difficulty with numbers. He is a pleasant soul and like his mother will probably never have unusual anxiety or withdrawal or dramatic mood changes. He sleeps like a log for about 10 hours, something I wish I could do. He is only obsessive about keeping busy and running errands and he can still drive. He has trouble with facial recognition when we are watching TV shows.
I dread the day when I will have to be the one to take him around to his projects and friends. It will mean several hours out of every day. But there are worse things to dread in life.
I mentioned to his Doctor that I was going to be on the lookout for paranoia (wondering if he was going to think I was hiding things!) when the doctor turned to me and said I had to worry about me being paranoid. I had to realize that he was not pretending to forget stuff so that he did not have to do it. And the doctor was correct! It is hardest for me to be calm about stuff! I am working on it.
modern science does pretty well at keeping our bodies healthy as we age but the brain and the mind, which are not necessarily the same thing, they really can't do much. the brain, the mind get old, get tired. this is completely different than dementia from disease like alzheimer's or TIAs. I can only imagine being in your position. I imagine it's different from when my stupid husband let himself get so sick he almost died and it pissed me off. he wasn't just fucking up his life, he was fucking up mine. slow dementia though, nobody's doing that on purpose and if I have to face it in my husband I hope I can be more patient.
ReplyDeleteI do hope your husband doesn't get worse, but I think you will be supportive in case he actually does. This is a terrible problem for so many people, and everyone has to deal with it individually. My husband and I seem to have all our mental faculties at the moment, but who knows for how long? We are both in our eighties and watch for signs of impairment, but otherwise than what could be normal aging, we muddle along. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and your hubby.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that list. I used it to diagnose myself and decided I do not have the beginnings of dementia - yet. I have been worried because a year ago I had a doctor suggest that I might have Normal Pressure Hydrocephalies, which can cause dementia. Since then I am constantly analyzing myself. I'm going to stop doing that. But, boy, am I struggling with finding words. I used to be very articulate. I will see a neurologist again in October.
ReplyDeleteDementia is a diagnosis shared by the victim and the care giver. You both will need help and support.
And again, thank you for sharing about this challenge. with us.
I once took an antidepressant that caused me to have difficulty remembering words. It was awful, especially for me because I adore words and love to read and write. Eventually my medication was changed and words came back to me. I have seen some other people mention on Facebook that they can't come up with words. I warn them about the antidepressant. So sometimes problems are caused by medications we take. I hope I never have dementia. It is so hard on everyone when it becomes severe.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Dementia is scary. My mom, her sister, and my dad's sister had Alzheimer's... so I do think about it. Since I've had migraines and ocular migraines (sometimes with dissociation) I know how scary that is. During it you know that you cannot think straight or find the right word, etc. It usually passes. The scary part is thinking what is it doesn't pass? But best to not worry about it... live your life and hope for the best hoping everyone will remember to be loving and kind.
ReplyDeletePrayers from the heart
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot to blend into your lives now. Mixing too much into the condition can lessen the enjoyment of everything else. Be good to yourselves. A day at a time.
I understand the doctor's point. It can be difficult to be patient with a person who "is old enough to know better" or who should "already know how to do that."
ReplyDeleteThese days, the prospect of dementia hovers over all of us of a certain age. I hope you both can continue on this journey together as you have been and the symptoms for your husband don’t become more severe any time soon.
ReplyDeleteI find your list somewhat reassuring. I have some trouble retrieving nouns, but I usually do, given time. Sleep is my only other red flag at present as far as I can see.
ReplyDeleteI have trouble recalling names and trouble with numbers, but then they are such long standing problems I don't even get anxious about it. My mother had dementia as a result of ministrokes/TIA. Her care certainly had its challenges, but there were sweet and tender moments as well. You find strength you didn't know you had sometimes.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh! I'm going through the same thing, BUT much worse with my mom. She is going to be 94 this year and dementia seemed to accelerate in the last two years. She asks the same question within a minute or two and repeats the same things several times. It's spooky as heck. On the plus side, she remains good natured and tries hard to not make it difficult for us. And she writes the most incredible letters to her sister in Japan in absolutely gorgeous penmanship. Boggles my mind. I e-mail a copy of the letters to my cousin and he says they make sense though she confuses the names of the grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteTo learn this saddens me, Tabor. You're a good person...standing by your man..by your best friend. Keep your chin up, my dear...and do remember to take good care of yourself, too...doing so is of upmost importance in every way. My best thoughts and wishes go out to you.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine how hard it is for you to share this, but we all face varying levels of it for ourselves or loved ones. I think it's useful for us o understand as much as we can. Thank you
ReplyDeleteBless both of you :-(
ReplyDeleteI think perhaps we all, as we age, worry a little about the possibility of dementia in our future. I try not to dwell on it too much as I really, really would not like to be a burden on my children. Your husband is blessed to have you by his side, you are so caring and capable. But please remember to look after yourself, too, self care is so important for carers.
ReplyDeletePraying for you both! It can be so overwhelming at times being a caregiver...Sending prayers!!
ReplyDeletehugs
Donna
My doctor says exercise hard as you are able and daily is the best at slowing dementia.
ReplyDelete