Saturday, September 16, 2023


I wonder as I age about the (my) concept of time. One definition I found on that vast and scary Internet is "the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole:"

The indefinite part is not totally accurate.  Time does move on and new things begin while old things end.  That is NOT indefinite.  The actual when and where may be indefinite.  

My husband's dementia is with us every day.  It moves forward very slowly but even that is a frightening pace of movement.  

My body and its aging fight me tooth and nail.  If I fail to exercise both brain and body for any length of time I become some stiff robot crossing the room.

One gift from aging is perspective.  My first grandchild is in his first year of college and I wish I could dump on him tons of wisdom.  But one cannot force-feed a young adult who is already being bombarded with all kinds of demands, events, new situations, and challenges.  I think all of us elders wish we could pass along perspective.  Maybe in the future that can be done with technology, but actually, that does sound a bit scary.  Lessons learned from a lack of perspective can be valuable.

I sent him a box of cookies and candy and Halloween stuff.  He texted back:

Thanks so much for the package!  I just received it and I love the Halloween stuff.  I just realized that I have no decorations so this will be useful.  College so far has been very fun and I've been finding my people.  I've been addicted to the rock climbing gym here and I'm also really enjoying the food.  The workload had been a little annoying but I'm sure I'll get used to it....

I would like to be him.  He has a better attitude toward college than I did.  He is an introvert but realizes that he must make an effort for friendships.  I did not realize that either.

This cup in the photo above is something that he gave me many Christmases ago.  I have several from each of the grandchildren and their worth is beyond any amount of money I could ever get.  I was once told the story of the two on either side of the highway on the cup but sadly forgot.  That is something I may ask again.  Just looking at that cup really takes my breath away.  It is time travel.  It is its own time machine.


  1. Passing on your wisdom in hand written letters is beauty of life beyond words.

  2. This strikes my heart today. We spent a little time with our granddaughter today. It was sort of a command/demand encounter. She didn't see very thrilled to be tagging along with us, but sometimes it's right to gently command. She will be going off to Western Washington University on Thursday, and we need to connect with her while we can. She is my younger grandchild = I only have two - and they grow up too fast.

  3. The cup is priceless for sure. Your grandson sounds grounded and adjusting well to university,. When I started teaching, I got a letter from my grandmother which was priceless. I will always treasure it!

  4. Ah ... being a freshman at uni. Those were the days.

  5. I think the time to impart wisdom to children is before they go off to college. children are receptive, adults are not, not really. as for the experience of time, it is as einstein said, relative to the person experiencing it. I've also read that time is a human construct to help us make sense of reality, that all things are happening all the time simultaneously.

  6. I know what you mean about moving and aging and not moving and aging. Now I'm in the process of unlocking my joints and muscles so they can work properly again. Sorry about your husband. How time moves on with or without us...

  7. How wonderful to remember those days, and to be able to experience them again through family. Time is a strange beast, isn't it?

  8. Anonymous10:57 PM

    Time has a mind of its own...sometimes it races by...and sometimes, when you wish to be drags on so slowly! :)
    I really like this post...take good care, Tabor....

  9. I've thought about how differently I see life now than when younger, not even so many years younger. Where it comes to the grandkids, I am just glad we had the many time with them that we did. Now we don't see them but love hearing how their lives are going-- when they are. Time changes everything.

  10. I look at time differently as I age and the faster it seems to go and the more I feel it's effects on my body and brain. Although in many ways it is the enemy in other ways it is to be so, so treasured, Love the photo of your treasured mug.

  11. I don't know how I missed this post. Time, as you say, has definite and indefinite elements which make it very slippery indeed.


Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.