Working for the Soul

I have posted elsewhere (FB and emails) about my days of work recently. The cool fall weather, the dormancy of ticks, and the necessity of the size of weeds at summers end have motivated us to clear parts of the forest on either side of the long drive to the house. The wooded view as we drove in was no longer enticing and welcoming, but more like spooky and scary, and while appropriate for the Halloween season, it seems out of place when welcoming guests at other times of the year.

We have now cleared the leaning and/or dead trees that rested against each other and formed a sheltered structure for the wild roses that in turn learned to climb to the tops of the lovely and healthy maples, dogwood, and holly trees and shaded them from sun. I pruned limbs and prickly vines and then piled them beside the road in the clearing. We had piles of dead wood and piles of scratchy brush all of which was later gathered in our arms and placed in the old wooden trailer we use for hauling large amounts of 'stuff'. Hubby bravely climbed on top and did the elephant dance to smash it all down so that we could grab more armfuls and put on top once again.

Frequently the angry roses would grab our butts and legs refusing to be dumped. I still have a tiny thorn in my arm that will have to fester its way to the surface.

Hubby and I argued about what wood to take to the dump and what to cut into firewood. We have enough firewood to last through the winter of 2012, so I was inclined to get rid of much of the wood. (This will ensure that global climate change really will be global warming.) This photo is just one of the long piles we have waiting for the first cold weather. The problem is that some of this wood is old and some still too new for burning and in our dedicated rhythm we were not as careful in stacking as we should have been.


The wrens and the flickers were not happy that we took away so much dead wood, but eventually forgave us when they saw how may broken tree stumps we left behind for them to poke through. They will have a rich larder of wood insects through the coming snows. We also left enough small bush areas for the mice and other small animals to find shelter.


The free crepe myrtle that was planted at the end of my flower bed two years ago got moved with the help of Pedro. He works for a landscape company and knows exactly how to dig and move small trees. The shape of the crepe was not long and lean but more like an umbrella-shaped weeping willow, and therefore, taking up too much flower bed space. We (actually Pedro and hubby did the work) also joined the two flower beds and I now have a good sunny place to transplant my scattered roses this fall. (More work!)

This is the crepe myrtle shape I had hoped for!

My new rose bed.

After these past three days, the old joints ache with fatigue and overuse and my arms are scratched as if I had wrestled with a mountain cat, but soaking in my jacuzzi in the late afternoon before starting dinner was a reward enjoyed so much more because of my hard work. I am thankful that I do not hate hard work. I am thankful that the goal is its own reward for me. Besides, now I don't have to do any exercises this week!

The Wireless Web

This is my old Belkin wireless. I was on travel and when I returned, retrieved my PC and plugged everything back in, I noticed the state of this router. Do you think the spiders are clogging the network and the reason for the slowness of my PC? (HA!)

Looking Back Through the Looking Glass

When I was about fourteen I read "The Dairy of Anne Frank" and it captured me totally. As an adult I re-read the diary and was even more impressed by the beauty of her writing and the terrible tragedy that she could not live to realize her full potential.

I found this on the Internet: "Ha'aretz, the Israeli newspaper, is showing remarkable footage today. The Frank House, in Amsterdam, has realeased this short 20-second video snippet from the life of Anne Frank. The video was shot approximately a year before Frank and her family went into hiding. "

The context of this video is compelling and this has certainly made me pensive for the rest of this day.

Happy Harvest

I spent the better part of today 'cleaning' the forest. This meant cutting back nasty wild roses, removing dead limbs from trees, and trying to drag stubborn vines from around trees. I even cut one poison ivy vine that was about 2 inches across and covered with those tell-tale spidery roots that cling to the tree trunk.

Hubby spent time cutting the large pieces of wood into manageable size for our small wood-burning fireplace. We now have enough cut wood (some even split) for at least three winters. That is good, because much of this needs drying and aging time. I loaded each log into the wheelbarrow and pushed to the wood pile where I spent careful time stacking. The process is something like building a rock wall in that wood pieces must be selected according to shape and size before placing on the pyramid of wood. Once it is all stacked it makes an interesting wall.

This afternoon I am harvesting the last of the garden. We do not have too many more days of growing weather with the cool nights. I have made enough pesto, roasted tomato sauce, and frozen enough beans to make me feel very full of food already.

Our fridge is now full of salsa and pickled hot peppers to warm us in the coming cold nights.

My project this evening is shredding the 30 or so carrots that, while not very pretty, do have a reasonably sweet flavor and will make delicious carrot cake. (I have admitted defeat on the large box of spaghetti squash which is stored in our basement and will accept that the mice may get to much of it before us.)

Tomorrow I am going to try "Butternut Squash au Gratin" from a recipe sent by my daughter. Add enough butter and cheese to any squash and it becomes quite delicious if no longer healthy.

I think this is going to defeat the small weight loss from my Colorado mountain hiking.

Too Much Information or Not Enough?

Most bloggers do not write about their family. It is personal stuff and you have to be very honest and out front with your life once you begin. I am anonymous just so that I can write about people who, I hope, will also remain anonymous while I try to sort out their lives.

You will realize from this post that my family, while loving and generous of spirit, are terrible communicators. They tend to avoid the painful reality of life. It might be because they know that we cannot do anything about the painful decisions of others or it might be that sharing doesn't really ease their concerns, or perhaps they are embarrassed by the "perfect" lives that they think all the rest of us have. All of these people I have learned about below, are not blood relatives...not that that makes any difference.

I learned on this past family trip the following news. Some of it was explained only after embarrassing comments on my part because I did not know what the H*** was going on!.

My step-niece (who has no health insurance and no husband) thought she was pregnant, thought she miscarried three months later, then gave birth to a baby in her mother's house, all alone one afternoon early this summer. She had been raised on a horse farm and actually explained to me all the precautions she took, including adjusting for the fact that the water heater pilot light had broken that morning, in order to deliver this baby all by herself! The child was born safely for the mother (28 years old). After a helicopter flight to the hospital when the child had trouble breathing they discovered that the child has an incomplete brain and is missing part of the back lobes. This appears to be a genetic disorder that will mean my step-niece should not have any other children. There are those who know only too well all the terrible issues with this situation. All I know is that currently the child is off of oxygen and is eating and growing and is very precious. This mother's life has changed forever. The father of this child has four children in a current marriage and an illegitimate child from another relationship. TMI.

My step-niece's brother, a marine just back from Iraq, was goofing around with other marines this past spring and appears to have ruptured a disk and now requires spinal fusion. Thus his life is now also changed forever, probably ending his hope to enter the police force when he is released from service.

My other step-nephew from another family came with his 7-year-old daughter to a family BBQ and it wasn't until later in the evening that someone bothered to mention he has been divorced for over a year. That was when I stopped asking him if his wife was working late!

All of the rest of the gang seems to be living reasonably normal lives with normal challenges.

Astronomy Lesson

Holding my 4-year-old grandson in my arms while damp from his recent swim lesson, we hurried in the cool night air across the parking lot, but were stopped mid-run to notice the moon and the nearby Venus sparkle. We stood for a short time before the chill permeated the damp towel around his shoulders.

Xman explained to me that Venus was the boy and the Moon was the girl. Sounds right to me!

Casting call

Thought I would further clarify my PC situation since it is so clearly compelling to my dwindling readers. I never did get the blue screen of death. My computer just kept getting slower and kept locking up on a few software packages and I thought it was just getting too old. It still is/was a fairly functioning computer. So guess I will use it a while longer.

I thought about switching to Apple but all my software is PC...what an expense.

On a totally un-related note is anyone as disappointed as I am that they chose Julia Roberts for the "Eat,Pray,Love" movie? I know, I know...you don't really care. But I see this person as an empty headed intellectual...not an empty headed flirt. I was thinking 0f Charlize Theron, Annette Benning, even Reese Witherspoon although she is a little young. If you read the book, I am sure you have other ideas of an actress with that pixie but sincere quality.

Clearly from this post you can see how desparate I am for my PC.

Virtual Reality Update

My recent family visit filled my head with too much reality. Love them all and probably would be too generous in blogging about their complicated lives had not my PC been in the shop all this time, and thus, putting the yellow light on my blogging allowing me to mellow out and put a more subtle pink light on all the issues. My life is not a soap opera, but it appears that their lives are.

It also appears that I have both a "mal generic A" virus and a Trojan "agent gen-x" on my PC and for the low, low price of only $89.99 they will remove it for me! Wow. They have adopted the repair model use by car dealers. We analyze for a small fee and then call you and tell you how much it will cost to repair it. Only this scenario involves NO moving parts. It is more painful this way. I got this message on Saturday (today) and so may not get my computer back until Tuesday since she (the all-knowing magician) does not get in until Monday at 2:00PM. I am totally addicted to my PC and so will have to cough up the dough to get the PC functioning again. Since it is almost 8 years old, I fully expected them to say that I needed a new one. So there is a brighter side to this scenario.

If they could tell me how I got this illness on my PC, I would be more understanding. I have so much firewall and virus protection, that I honestly thought I was inoculated until the blue screen of death.

Oh well, Monday I get to start working on those photos that I am compelled to view on the big screen. Addictions are what they are, and at least this one does not contain calories to make me fat(ter)!

Virtual Reality

In my brilliance I turned in my PC two days before my 10-day trip. I naively thought that they could poke and prod at their leisure and I even more naively thought I would have a message waiting for me on my phone regarding the PC when I returned.

HA! I repeat HA!! Only the squeaky wheel gets oiled and it took a trip to the store followed by a phone call to learn that Dr. Nerdo Repairwomen was working on it as I talked to her on the phone. They had had my computer for almost 11 days by this time! She was running diagnostics yesterday and since she is off today I will not learn anything until Friday...after 2:oo PM which is when she comes in to work.

I am glad that I am rich enough to be liviing in a house with a hubby that also has a laptop computer...which I hate. People who can use these will develop carpel and marpel and whatever before the computer overheats on their lap.

I have started to catch up on email, but am not considering any serious posting on Blogger until my baby gets back home. Maybe tomorrow I will start reading some blogs...it is dark and scary down here in the basement (where I banish my husband and force him to work in his office...).

Dancing with Moonbeams

Most houses have ghosts. I am sure that one has heard those whispered conversations heard in the late evening when you are sitting by the fire or curled up in your favorite chair with a good book and sitting all alone. You look up and wonder if that was a laugh you just heard or was it just the blinds moving in the breeze. You hear a footfall in the empty hallway and you freeze with the bookmark in hand and turn your head ever so slightly to the left. It is just the bones of this old house creaking, you tell yourself and return to the poem. Someones' laughter and someones' tears are hidden deep within the shadows of the corners of those rooms. Important lives passed this way. Sometimes they feel safe and come forward, but you don't know this, or you deny it. On a lazy sunny afternoon as your eyes close and you begin to drift off to sleep, they gather together and dance around the floor with the moving sunbeams that drift across your favorite carpet.

My house is new. No ghosts have set up residence just yet. Thus when I hear creaking and groaning, I know that it is the spirit of the house settling into these woods planning for the many years to come and making room for the ghosts. My hubby and I will be the first spirits to linger in the shadows some winter evening. Will we be too shy to laugh and will we still have the same arguments? Will the click of my camera shutter startle some late night reader? Will we be willing to make room for other spirits? Will the sound of my grandchildren's footfalls skip down the hallway and interrupted by the sound of their giggle before they hide? Will we dance with the moonbeams in the late evening as the new owner falls asleep before the fireplace? I hope so.

Collecting Seeds

Fall for me is filled with deadheading the blossoms of my flowers and carefully collecting the seeds of those annuals that I want to regrow next year. I spent a small fortune on packets of seeds this year and hope to reduce that expense by starting my seed larder. I purchase beed containers at the craft store and dry the seeds and tuck them away for spring.

The photo above is from seeds of the the black eyed Susan vine or Thunbergia Alata... and, yes, if you clicked on the photo for a closer look, I think they look like that also! They are vessels of reproduction, after all.

Summer Flying By

(Here I am in the cold mountains of Colorado and yet able to post something to my blog! Cool!)





All of these beauties graced my front yard on the day I loaded my car with suitcases to leave on this trip. They danced and danced across the grass and with each other. They will probably not be here when I return, but knowing the transience of life, I am prepared for some new beauty in nature to tuck in for a while. (This should be on my other blog, I know.)

Tag, Your It

Darlene tagged me for a meme. I do not usually play along with these, being a bit of a spoil sport,but Darlene has a most compelling blog, so I will do so. In addition, I actually played this meme once before...but it was on Facebook and I was reading All Fishermen are Liars. The rules are to pick the book nearest to you, turn to page 161 and copy the fifth sentence.

I will post the meme from the book closest to me right now...I am not actually reading it as it is a reference tool published in 1999 and already out-dated, Real World Digital Photography by McClelland and Eismann:

• "a 2MB board provides 16 million colors up to 800 by 600 pixels (or 832 by 624 pixels on the Mac). If you raise the resolution of the monitor above that, you have to drop the number of colors that can be displayed at a time to 32,000 or fewer."

The book(s) that sit on my end table near my bed and which I am currently reading actually are:

From Onions to Pearls by Satyam Nadeen, a kind of weird book about awakening. I don't know if I am going to like it or not. Bought it at a used book sale.

Outliers by Malcom Gladwell. Another good book of his; this one is about demographics and genetics and the luck of the draw.

(And, of course, anyone who wants to play along, please do so.)

Lessons Learned as Summer Comes to an End

Grandchildren are loaned to us so that we can pass on our well-earned wisdom to their generation and make the world a better, more evolved place...ummm, well... not exactly. I've learned so much from this little soul this past summer that I often wonder if I have been sleepwalking through most of my life. Maybe I learned this stuff a long time ago and just forgot it as I grew up to battle adulthood?

Sometimes on a hot summer day at the pool you need to stop skipping and sliding and swimming and splashing your grandpa and just think about how the day is going thus far. You need to stop and think about all that you are enjoying so that you can remember it or focus on your next attack.

You need to Captain your Ship of Life if you want to end up in the best place for you. Don't be afraid to take the wheel, even if it seems bigger than you and you have to stand on your toes to see where you are going. Remember that those you love are still behind you to support your decisions and to help you on your journey.

Set your boundaries really wide. Your sand castles need moats that cover all the room that you can find on whatever beach you choose. This photo is 1/3 of the final sand castle that was created. It eventually included a mountain with trees and a volcano spewing lava red rocks collected from the beach. No project is too small for a creative soul.

It takes a lot of patience to wait for a fire to die down so that you can roast marshmallows and it is OK to wiggle and squirm when you are trying to be patient about something important. You don't have to look like a saint!

When you finally reach to top of the mountain (airplane, whatevah) remember all the loved ones and friends that helped you get there and be sure to help them all you can by sending your best as well as giving them a hand.

And, finally, throw out your arms in total abandon and don't forget to ENJOY the ride. It certainly goes by really, really, really fast.

(As I explained in an earlier post this is pre-written...my computer is in the shop and actually I am packing tomorrow for the trip.)

My Husband's Non-Wicked Step Sisters

I reunited with them both again a few months ago when we attended my husband's S.I.L.'s funeral. They had aged...probably they seemed much older to me because they were a decade and some years older than I already.

They are like opposite sides of the same coin of womanhood. I have met them on and off in years past but was so wrapped up in my own family and my travels that I did not really see them. One of the wonders of aging is you get clarity of mind vision. Actual vision becomes blurry, but that is to ones' advantage because then you can see the reality of life much better.

They were daughters from my husband's father's first marriage. It was a marriage of wealth and unfaithfulness and ended badly. So badly that no one mentioned the name of the first wife in my F.I.L's presence. Mary was the youngest daughter from this union and the dark haired one with the hour glass figure. When she reached her teenage years she was compared to Elizabeth Taylor and from photos I have seen she did resemble her. Sally, her older sister, was the thin and blonder version. She had freckles and looked like the farm girl next door. She was also the thinner thinker. Sally loved to laugh and her laughter was contagious.

Mary went on to marry a man of the 1950's era. Who knows what drove him and also what devils haunted him. This was an era of cocktails and arguments. Devout Catholics they had five children between them. Four girls and a boy. Mary's husband left her in the lurch with all five shortly after that and actually settled on an island in the Caribbean where his drinking was the norm rather than something which caused heated arguments. Mary's children never saw him except for the son who became an adult and sought him out as male children need to do when fathers are an enigma. Mary was blessed with a good brain and devotion to her children. She worked very ,very hard making all those standard sacrifices, and in time, worked her way up to managing an important office in the State government. Her children each became successful in their own way and were loyal to her. When I saw her at the funeral she was overweight and arthritis was compromising her ability to stand for any length of time. But I saw that spark of intelligence in her eyes that had helped her survive the burden life had given her. I saw that energy in her dark eyes that had been the heat that burned her whole life like an excellent warm brandy. For some reason she made a connection with me.

I had seen Sally more often in my trips to my husband's side of the family. She had married, divorced, re-married the same man and then buried him when he died of throat cancer. He had been a heavy smoker, as many were during that era. Their marriage was more like the Taylor-Burton love. It was loyal but painful. She was like bubbles in champagne and actually became lovelier as she aged. She wasn't smart and sometimes couldn't follow an intense conversation. She dated often in her elder years and I think it was because she was such a fragile butterfly that elder men could not resist her. She married a third time to a shyster who gave the impression he was an architect. I had met him and he was quite smart and handsome. She figured out her mistake within the year and this was followed by an expensive divorce.

As she reached her early 80's she met a retired airline pilot. They fell in love and she married once again. I met him and both my husband and I liked him but noticed his aging memory lapses. He seemed to be in his late 80's. Both he and Sally continue to travel all over the world including a honeymoon in China where they sent photographs of themselves in elaborate Chinese costume. They recently flew to England to participate in the dedication of an airline museum. Sally is just as ditsy as ever, but now people think it is due to old age.

Both stories are the kind that could make a movie. Their lives are like yours and mine in some ways, but to me so much more interesting than mine.

Out of Pocket

It seems that the fates have converged in a unique formation in the coming weeks. My PC which is about 8 or 9 years old has decided it will not cooperate any more. I am sending it into the repair clinic before I lose everything that I do not back up---which is everything on the PC.

Symptoms include auto shutdowns, lock-ups, and inability to keep my photography software open for any length of time. The fan kicks on frequently and closing a program can take a very long time. I hope I don't need a new PC, but my gut feeling is that the store will recommend that!

Secondly, I am heading out on a jet plane to the other side of the country for a week's change of scenery. I will be eating and sleeping with relatives some of the time and some of the time I will be spending with my camera outside---I hope.

Thirdly, I have a post on this blog that has been pre-scheduled and several on my other blog, so that my readers will not disappear. But I will not be responding or reading blogs in the coming weeks.

Behave yourselves while I am gone, please. (OKAY...don't behave yourself...life IS short after all.)

Feeling Moonie

For more on my moons go here.

Two-Days in the Boonies

The heat and humidity along the Bay had worn us thin. It seemed that just walking out to the shed would result in a necessary change of clothes when one returned. We decided to celebrate our 39th anniversary in the mountains instead since the days that followed were going to be busy with relatives and houseguests. We were able to book a room at the lodge for $69. Do we know how to celebrate or what? The problem was that the above view was the weather that greeted us when we drove to the mountain ridge for our first afternoon hike (we really sort of saunter). The clouds in the distance grumbled and growled finally bringing a small downpour our way as we hurried back to the car where we sat for a long while watching raindrops pelt the dusty windshield. (The danger on these high meadows is the ligntning...not so much the rain.)

We decided to drive down the mountain and found a place below the clouds that was just misting moisture and not threatening a full-fledged shower, and found this old road that was a perfect hiking trail. No slipping or sliding along muddy rocky trails. (This was the area where I photographed the red salamander which I will post about later on my other blog.)

We also traveled another nice trail that followed the Blackwater River just outside of Davis, West Virginia. They have a spillway dam and camping areas and several new trails. The goldenrod was in full bloom reminding us that all of those great autumn colors were soon to be revealed as fall was hovering nearby.

Some trails are marked and others just become intriguing green paths that make you wish you had all the time in the world to wander them and see what new vistas will reward you.

This trail might have been an ATV trail until the ATV's were banned. (Thank God or the powers that be, says Tabor under her breath.) The recent rains made it a challenge to follow. When deciding where to place ones' foot there was either sloppy wet mud or boggy Muskeg on either side. I knew that my new waterproof hiking boots were worth the money when my feet stayed dry and hubby ended up with very wet socks.

The trail formed a loop just as we came to a beaver pond in the sunken marsh at the foot of a large meadow we had been edging. Most of one side of the marsh was wreathed in brown cattails as warnings about the wetness of the soil. We saw two brown hawks in the distance and even though we were very careful and quiet we scared a few pin-tail ducks at the far edge of the pond. We wandered down to the Muskeg edge and saw the remains of a very small deer that had perhaps been a wolf's or fox's dinner. I can visualize the predator enjoying a nice dinner as he looked over the quiet pond.


We moved on up to the side of the hill and set out our lunch with the million dollar view of the pond in the distance on one side and the meadow on the other. We shared cheese, salami and crackers. Cut into juicy fresh Asian pears and peeled some Clementine oranges and then topped the meal off with cookies and dried fruit and nuts. Best restaurant we have eaten in all year! Although there were deer flies about, none bothered us while we recuperated our energy on the fern bed in the shade of the trees.

We encountered even more new trails for another visit on our drive out. They seem to be reaching for creative trail names! There are hundreds of hiking trails in the area. I think we will never be able to trek them all.

Long Hot Summer Stilllife

I am guessing the summer has been too long and too hot when the vegetables lean back on the counter and start smirking at you...click on photo to see what I mean. Sigh. Smart aleck cucumbers. I have my grandson visiting all week, so may be to busy to blog much.

For those charming readers who asked...

Yes, I finished going through the trunk but am still reading my college letters home. That is taking more time. I did sort them (anal retentive person that I am) into chronological order so that my parents responses are correctly interspersed with my letters. My mother is very much a "Gracie Allen" when she writes. I am sure that most people other than my generation have no idea what I am talking about, but you can Google or Bing this scatterbrained character.

You asked about the dinner which was a lucky win so I didn't try Grannies potato soup. Pescatarians eat only seafood protein. So:

Cucumber salad (sour cream and mint dressing)

Striped Bass in a tangy Thai marinade

Steamed crab with basil/butter/olive oil/ lime sauce for dipping

Corn on the cob

Toasted French baguette slices with either garlic butter or tangy roasted tomatoes and basil from the garden on top.

For dessert:

Vanilla ice cream with heated fresh peach slices in brown sugar and butter as a topping.

Hot tea/coffee to help finish the meal.

It was a cholesterol busters meal to die for.

Stingers and Zingers

These are the sea nettles of hot summer that like soft and gentle bubbles come floating in on the tides to all parts of the river from the Chesapeake Bay. They look so innocuous and carefree, but a brush against the little white tentacles will induce a fiery sting to tender skin. They come in tiny and large sizes; the one above being about 3 inches and they can reproduce when only 2.5 inches wide. They can grow as big as your open hand. They pump just below the surface of the water in search of food. This one was trapped in a tidal pond that was only a few inches deep. If the water is compromised (not healthy) the jelly fish are greater in numbers for some reason. The population is determined by both temperature and salinity but some scientists say the increase may be due to more nutrients being dumped from towns and cities running into the Bay to create more floating creatures to sting and eat. This year we do not have a huge population. If people are very concerned about these they can check the population movements for our area here.

My grandson was lying belly flat on the dock to look at some fish and crabs the other day and came away with a burn from some sea nettle slime that had landed on the deck falling from the crab traps placed there. He is a drama king but the sting must not have been all that bad, because after a wash with ammonia and a spray of Benadril he was A-OK and on to a new adventure.

I have been stung by jelly fish (NOT the Portuguese-Man-Of-War) in the South Pacific and while it really burned, the pain did not last long. Like many of the stinging/biting creatures of the world, the reputation sometimes exceeds the actuality.

P.S. Yes, this belongs on my 'other' blog but I have several posts waiting there already.

P.P.S. Logged into my email at 4:30 AM this morning when I found I could not pretend I was sleeping any longer and found a note from my step-nephew who is arriving for a weekend visit today with his girlfriend. The note said "I think I forgot to mention that A**** is a pescatarian." NOW he tells me?!!

Ronnie's Challenge

Ronnie has given all us boomers a challenge to post our ideas about the health care reform activities on the 20th of this month. I could have done some research on segments of one of the 5 proposed bills, the one that is 1,000 pages, which I have not read in full, and write about that, but I won't as I think selective cherry picking on these bills is a waste of time. I have read numerous articles analyzing the various issues and watched lots of television discussion. I have watched all the white elderly citizens screaming at their Congressmen in various town hall meetings over this reform on CNN. I do not see Hispanics, Blacks, or very many young people angry in this debate. (Well, except for the black woman who was escorted out of a meeting after being attacked by another white elderly man at Senator McCaskill's meeting in Missouri for having a poster of Rosa Parks.) I really don't think specific issues of this health care are the reason for the angry debate. The bills are not even finalized. I don't hear people screaming at their Congressional representatives because they do NOT have health care. I do not hear these angry people proposing alternatives or specifics in their arguments. I am frustrated that most of these arguments are inaccurate, non-specific, use inflammatory speech and are based on a mind-set that is not open to discussion. I keep getting the impression that they are very happy with their current health care status and don't really care about those who do not have health care insurance. "I've got mine and you lazy bums can figure out how to get yours." I challenge these same gray-haired angry people to refuse the government run Medicare program when they reach 65.

Part of this seems to me to be an issue of trust---and perhaps in some cases, race. It seems that those who trusted the government to listen in on their phone calls and monitor their computer activities without warrant, do not trust the same government to find a way to provide health insurance to their neighbors and fellow citizens who do not have it. I am guessing that they also completely trust the insurance paid middle-men who are now determining what level of health care they receive under their current private insurance. They compare the ideas for the reform program to a 'socialist' Russia and seem to ignore the success of the Canadian and European health care systems.

This also is an issue of money. I have heard it said that it has to do with conservative people not wanting poor people to get something for nothing, fearing that the expense for this service will have to come out of their pockets.

Well, I also feel that I will be paying for it in some way. My health care costs are going to go up with or without this reform. They will go up with the reform to pay for health care for those who cannot pay or go up to pay for the inefficiencies and huge profits in the industry while many citizens go without, in spite of what this administration says. My health expenses already are inflated by including emergency room care for those uninsured. There are no guarantees but I think this reform will slow down the increase in costs for everyone. There are no guarantees that the private sector will not drop those insured right now...but they are doing that every day already. I still support the reform as it is the beginning of a long-needed process to improve health care for the richest country in the world and provide a safety net for us all. I just wish these same citizens against the reform would have been screaming at their Congressmen regarding the huge budget deficits that were incurred several years ago.

All that I have to write in this post is colored by the fact that I am not panicked for myself because I am in the catbird seat. I have the same type of health care that the Congress has (which as an aside is a government contracted program with private industry). I worked for the government for the correct number of years as did my husband. We have access to a number of health care plans, we can change plans every January to suit our needs regardless of pre-existing health conditions, and we still get reasonably good coverage. My husband's prostate surgery, his spinal surgery, the birth of my children, my biopsy...all paid for. Since my retirement our premiums have increased, but are still affordable. I remember years ago when a friend on one of the government health care programs needed a lung transplant. The program he was enrolled in refused to cover the operation. He would die without it. That 'death squad' consisted of the health insurance company employee(s). He had to wait the three months until he could change plans in January, got a different insurance company, and went on to have his transplant, even though he had a pre-existing condition. The government contract protected him from being excluded because of pre-existing conditions. Even this government program has its problems but this ability to change plans was his life-saver.

I remember the terrible fear I carried daily when my son had reached 21, graduated from college and could no longer be covered on either our insurance or a student health care plan. His employer provided no coverage. He did not make enough money to pay for health care and pay for his apartment and pay for food. We dug deep and paid for his health insurance until he got coverage through employment a few years later. (I have no idea if this insurance would have worked had he needed it!) What if we couldn't have afforded that? What if he had been involved in an accident or contracted some serious health condition with no coverage? Many hard-working employed people and hard-working students live with that fear daily and without health care reform more and more working people will have no health care.

To those who do not want government health care reform, I ask how you would feel if you had a life style disease and those Americans who were healthy said you should pay a much higher premium because of your poor eating habits, lack of exercise, dangerous life-style activities or decision to live in a polluted area? Why should other Americans subsidize your carelessness and poor life-style? Kind of cruel and frightening isn't it?

To me it is a no-brainer that we need to begin to move in the direction of reform, but hard to convince those not using their brains, and instead, using the fear in their gut and the concern for their wallets to think. Being against something totally is the easy way out. Having to come up with ideas and suggestions to improve this reform and letting your Congressmen know takes far more work.

I Am a Surprise, My Grandaughter Seeps, and My Grandson...well!

My grandson told me the other day that his mother said he had three surprises waiting for him when he climbed into the car from pre-school and two of them were people. I looked at him with a questioning frown and said "People??" He looked up at me with those warm brown eyes and silly smile and said "Yes, you and Doc!" Doc is what he calls his grandfather and we had just arrived that evening to spend the night. I like being a surprise even better than being surprised.

My granddaughter woke up from her deep night's sleep the first morning after her visit and called out to me, "Neena!" "Neena!" When I opened the door to the room where she had been sleeping she peered at me through the mass of hair hanging in front of her eyes and smiled. "I seeping!" she said. (I think she meant sleeping, but she also seeps when she sleeps if you know what I mean.)

While racing through the Wal-Mart yesterday toward the toy section with my 4-year-old grandson to select the 'promised' toy, we had to go past the women's lingerie section. There at the end of the aisle was a 'full' display of padded bras in bright colors with ribbons and lace. Xman could not stop himself (what male can?) and running to the display actually pinched the middle of one bra cup and with a gleam in his eyes smiled up at me and said "Boobies!" (Remember, he is 4!) This precocious 4-year-old has already asked the anatomy questions on the difference between boys and girls to his pre-school teacher and she had to send a 'smiling' note home to the parents to explain that she had referred these anatomy questions to them. (My daughter is saving the note.)

Next weekend my step- nephew who is in his 20's is visiting us with his new girlfriend...whom his parents have not yet met. Therefore I have strict instructions to keep my eyes open and tell them everything as well as take pictures because they think the pictures on his Facebook page are not good enough! I must put on my spy cloak, I guess. At least I have not been requested to deal with anatomy answers or sleeping arrangements!

Thursday Thoughts #27 --- Litany of Too Much to Process

Apologizes ahead of time for this boring post...

1. I took my granddaughter from her mother on Thursday morning having been childless at this house in the woods for too long. This was both totally exhausting and totally exhilarating at the same time. Daughter was generous to give her up since Wednesday had been her first day home in some time.
2. My daughter was involved in a bankruptcy take-over in another state last week involving mucho dollars. She worked from 8:00 A.M. until late into the evening most days with only minutes for lunch and dinner. Since guards were stationed round the clock they wanted to finish their work as fast as possible. She was assisting with the computer forensics activities and was surprised to find how 'sloppy' or 'conniving' businesses are in tracking and evaluating their valuables. Some real valuables were found sitting under the computers!
3. My son was asked to go on national tour with another band last month and had the good sense to turn them down.
4. Overheard during an evening dinner party was a story about an argument between a representative from an insurance company talking to a very high level lawyer for the CIA regarding some argument over a settlement. Seems the CIA lawyer indicated that they could make this someone's life very miserable if they wanted without regard for the law. I know this 'someone' and he is just a young honest career dude trying to do his job. Didn't hear enough to know if it was under this administration or the one before. This scared me as I thought most of this stuff was over-hyped in movies.
5. Having both grandchildren over the weekend was also a more than full session which included rubber pool swimming, squirt gun fights, big pool swimming, kite flying, crab catching, baby fish catching, caterpillar watching, tomato picking and beaching.
6. My daughter was feeling sick Sunday morning and joked that maybe she was pregnant...I guess my reaction was too startling as she immediately suggested it was probably just eating too many fresh tomatoes and fresh sweet corn.
7. Found and removed the tiniest tick from my husband's back yesterday. It was the size of an 11 point period! This has been the very worst year ever! If one of us does not get Lyme's, it will be a miracle.
8. Continuing to read a rather slow, plodding book that I started last week and am wondering why I don't have the courage to put it down and start on something I might enjoy? (Actually I finally did put this book into the give-away box after reading to the very middle.)
9. My refrigerator/freezer is stuffed with leftover homemade blackberry/peach cobbler, a homemade clementine cake, a watermelon and some ice cream...too many ways to get fat(ter).
10. Two weekends ago I had house guests on Saturday and Sunday for boating and wine touring and barely got the house cleaned in time and the sheets changed for the next weekend's visitors.
11. This past weekend, as I wrote above, was a two-day / two-night visit from my daughter and her two little ones. Toys and crumbs are still being found everywhere.
12. This coming Friday I will prepare a dinner for a visiting business friend from Korea, and Sunday I will drive up to the city for my granddaughter's second birthday party and that is the easiest of the busy weekends coming up.
13. I invited someone down to the house for a visit soon and then found that I am booked solid with stuff until the third week in September. Why don't I just keep my big mouth shut?
14. In spite of this post, I really am NOT the social butterfly that it seems. Looking forward to 10 days of alone time when hubby takes off for Hawaii next month.

The Good, the Bad and The Surprises

I am not an idiot. The fact that I feel compelled to write that, maybe leaves the statement open to some debate. I knew full well when I began once again the challenging landscaping/gardening journey that it was going to be a jazz dance...an exhausting jazz dance with my poor choreography. I had mentioned the Perennial Plant dance that takes place in the fall when you find some plants overtaking an area, or needing more sun, or better drainage or a better contrasting plant or just a better place to florish. I have about 10 15 plants that I will need to move this fall. I planted some too close to the house as a temporary space before the deer fence went up. Some are in deep shade that I did not expect and others have already outgrown their space.

The good this year was the lovely purple flox that has bloomed for more than a month, the chaste bush that has already grown the size of a small tree and was in full bloom, the zinnias that have large and colorful blooms, the Celosia which had every single seed germinate until I was sticking plants in pots, in the ground and everywhere.

My chaste plant.

Celosia attracting lots of pollinators.

Good old fashioned zinnias.

A nice pink zinnia just begging to be put in a bouquet.

Even the green zinnia are attractive.

The surprise issue here is that I never realized Celosia grew four feet high! Sort of overpowers that little red pot doesn't it?

The same was true of the zinnias on the east side of the house. In deep shade a good part of the day, they grew over four feet in the 2 foot high raised bed. One has to be a basketball player to really appreciate their beauty.

This was a little surprise as it was supposed to be a very different coneflower when I bought it! The photo on the pot looked like a dahlia...a very new and exciting form and PINK! Since I cannot find the plant I thought I bought on the Internet, maybe it doesn't exist. Something is eating the leaves of this plant, so it is soon to not exist as well!

The surprise above is that the photo was taken the last week of July with temps breaking the 90's and the purple pansies were still blooming in this pot. It is on the north side of the house in mostly shade.

Unfortunately I had to post one ugly...my poor sunflowers. 30 plants all chewed or knocked down and only two blossoms trying to put on a show as they lay flat against the earth. Of course, there was NOT a lot of sun and there was lots of rabbits, ground hogs, etc.

Interregnum

A lovely sunset last night on the river

I have been thinking much more lately of my parents. I try not to miss that they are gone and that I no longer have time to build a closer relationship with them. Perhaps it is the pictures of my childhood that I have retrieved that is pushing me on this backward journey. In several photos my mother is younger than I am today...that grabs my mind and heart and makes me a little dizzy. She looks fresh and happy. I do not remember her that way. I know that if she was in front of me right now we would get off on one of those stilted conversations where she makes me feel less than I am. One of those conversations where she is the grand martyr and I am the self-centered daughter. I love(d) her, but she could be an energy sump to be with. I am trying to accept the flow of the river of time. If I dwell too long I make myself sad and that doesn't accomplish anything.

There is a common idea that if we could go back in time we might better appreciate the moments with the wisdom we have since gained. Well, I realize that is a fallacy. I am watching my grandchildren grow and change like cornstalks in the field after a rain. I am aware of the moments when I am with them and I appreciate every second, but time still rushes on by and they still are growing and changing faster than I can deeply grasp. It is not about wisdom gained with experience. It is about realizing that we cannot slow down time. We cannot pace our lives as we wish. Having time to reflect and understand only helps a little. We still will make mistakes and have regrets no matter how wise we have become.

Life is like a river. It rushes dangerously fast in some places, then goes slowly and peacefully (or dully) in others. We are just along for the ride and try though we might, we miss much stuff in communication and relationships and understanding how others are truly feeling. We try to put ourselves in their place, but the river quickly pushes us on to somewhere else and we must process all over again that new color in the water and that new ripple.

I guess that there are people who know this truth most of their life. They do not waste time second guessing a decision or a relationship. But, I think for most of us, it is a crazy journey and we cannot really see the destination as well as we would like. It is a far way ahead and it will be whatever it is when we get there. We hope that we will understand it and recognize its meaning, and find it is something we can accept but hope is all we get at this turn in the river.

The Hotness Factor

Still tripping over my feet on that Memory Lane which has become somewhat overgrown with a large tangle of aging vines. When you are hot, you are hot. When you're not, you're clearly not. What more can I say? I rarely would consider turning back the clock on my life, but if I could have this day over again I think I would. I really look so 'full of it' in this photo. It was a perfect fall day, I had a brand new car (yes, that is an actual car and not a toy) and freedom. I am sure that I felt I had the world by a string and could wrap it around my finger. Innocence is sometimes too underrated.

Happy Trails to You

On the last day of my recent hiking trip to West Virginia, one of my hiking shoes decided to throw off the rubber sole plate. My whole fromt foot was just flapping in the breeze and this resulted in us having to visit the nearby drugstore in that famous little mountain town that I wrote about earlier and to purchase that all purpose repair tool known as duct tape. Hubby wrapped my foot sturdily for our final day of hiking before heading home. The temporary repair worked very well. These hiking shoes should have been replaced a number of years ago as the cushioning had long since been pummeled. I remember the day that I bought them, about 15 years ago, in an REI store in Denver.

We had gone to visit my relatives outside Boulder and we were planning on doing a little hiking in the Rocky Mountains. My brothers and sister who hiked all the time were amazed that I was planning on hiking in tennis shoes. It was decided by my relatives and husband that I finally needed a REAL pair of hiking shoes. You may be surprised at how nervous I was trying on hiking shoes. I felt like an impostor. These fancy shoes were for people who climbed mountains and straddled ridges and skirted glaciers. All I did was follow cleared mountain trails and stumble across meadows. I felt guilty spending so much money on something I only used a dozen times a year. REI had a ramp that you were supposed to walk up and down rather fast to see if the shoes were comfortable in the toe area. I self-consciously pretended I was testing each of the various sizes and finally bought the pair of shoes above.

They were the most comfortable shoes I owned, and after the first few hikes I regretted not putting out the money earlier.

Upon returning from our West Virginia trip the next weekend we drove up into the city and stopped at the REI store there and purchased a new pair of hiking boots. This time it was just like buying a pair of shoes. I put on the cushioned hiking socks I had tucked in my purse, put on various pairs of shoes and walked all over the store in them. I was not self-conscious at all. and actually focused on feel and comfort. I purchased the "cute" little silver blue trimmed shoes above and I am now looking forward to another 15 years of hiking. I think they do say the legs are the last to go, and I am counting on that.