Some Good Omens

'Seth' is a very dignified elder with a carefully groomed handle-bar mustache and a very gentle and gentlemanly demeanor. He did the prayer/chant and painted the various symbols in the air with his hand. His wife 'Dora' was in charge of getting all the elements necessary for the house blessing together. One last element she brought was a green candle which she lit and said was her own personal blessing for us for as long as we lived in the house and we were to keep the candle burning until it went out and therefore at the end we placed what was left of the burning candle into the fireplace.

The house was blessed with a very eclectic blessing ceremony involving some Asian symbols, some Jewish blessings and some pagan symbols and chants. Smoke and light and aromas were involved and every single room was blessed and every entryway and window protected from bad energies.

During the process, which was new and somewhat strange to hubby and I, Seth who was in each room happened to look out one of the upstairs windows to the house across the way and asked about our neighbors. Hubby said they were a very nice retired couple. Our guest then tapped his chest and said he felt something fluttering there. My husband then told him the man had just had quadruple bypass for the second time and our guest said that explains the tingle in his chest!

We went downstairs and looked out across the river and our guest said he felt the house across the way was troubled and therefore he sent more positive energy to that part of the walls and windows of our house and a stronger block for bad energy from across the way. Interestingly, the people directly across the river had been the ones who had called the permit office on our building project to insure it was being done legally and we had also heard from another neighbor that the wife of the couple was a trouble-maker. Seth and Dora live far from here knew none of this.

Then hubby decided to test our guest and asked him if he had any feelings about the neighbors to the East of our house. Our guest looked across the way and said he felt only joy and happiness. These neighbors are the ones who bought a $100,000 yacht this summer and never got around to using it and who invited their church to hold two church services outside in their front yard this past summer filled with singing and praying, but were polite enough to call me each time to let me know there would be some noise as they were having the service outside.

This analysis of our neighbors seemed to be too much coincidence to think that our guest didn't have something going on with his 'third eye' and therefore we thought he must know what he was doing in blessing and protecting our house. At the end of the blessing a very healthy pair of red shoulder hawks flew to the trees that were very close to the windows in the back yard and rested briefly before heading down the river. These are the first hawks we have seen in our neighborhood in well over a year and I took that as a good omen for strength, love, and new beginnings.

The FB --- 13 Lessons

A colleague asked me to join facebook several weeks ago and as a result I have learned a few things:

1. I find it a real time sink, because pages take forever to load with my rural connection.
2. I have discovered 'friends' of friends of distant friends and these are people I rarely see or talk to...so that is kind of interesting and disconcerting at the same time to open these connections and see their photos after decades.
3. I 'chatted live' for several minutes with my son who was online at the same time at 1:40 in the early morning. Intermittent insomnia is obviously genetic. This was a greater exchange of words than we have had in months as he never rarely answers my emails or phone calls! While the chat was quick and superficial...at least we connected.
   
4. Since on facebook you have dozens (in some cases 100s to 1,000s) of people who can read what you write and know who you are...you have to really avoid "thinking out loud." (i.e. you cannot "write on a friend's 'wall'" about how so-and-so has aged or put on so much weight and you should not post in detail about that rather crazy party you recently attended as the younger members so unwisely do...complete with photos.)
5. It is kind of like being at a cocktail party with absolutely everyone you know listening to most every word you say and you are getting dizzy from the multiple ongoing tiny conversations since many of the people you overhear are people you barely know and they are not talking to everyone as they are at a different party.
6. In one session you may see or read brief notes about a sonogram, a drinking party, a political rally, an open invite to the movies and mountain hike depending on the diversity of your "friends."
7. Some of my kids 30-something friends think I am cool for joining and I must admit that is an ego boost when you are approaching crone-hood. I am kind of glad this technology was not around when I was 20-something as I am sure I have forgotten more embarrassing adventures than I like to admit and I would hate to have had them made available to all my future friends down the road.
   
8. I have yet to reach and comment on the page of the colleague who originally asked me to join while I have "written on the wall" of many others!
9. This must be a demographers and social scientists dream. I hope I am still alive to read the books on the analysis of this phenomena and the analysis of culture.
10. FB ---as the 'young folks' call it (what an old foggy phrase)---has said they cannot promise that you can permanently delete anything you post...it will always be floating out there somewhere having been captured by someone else...just like those embarrassing incidents in high school that come up at reunions.
11. If you follow current events regarding these social networking sites you will know that there are still important questions about copyright and ongoing use of material you write and the photos you upload in this venue. ( I have taken a few copyright seminars and this sounds like a nightmare.)
    
12. When I eventually load my FB page...after much delay in loading...it is kind of like finding myself in a tabloid over which I have some control.
13. The FB does give the impression that some people spend all their time networking rather than working at work! This is another questionable impression a young person does not want to make.
    

Some Lagniappe: The new TV series "Trust Me" on TNT had an episode recently where the dad who is an advertising man secretly got the password and logged on to his teenage daughter's FB page and found she had only three friends, one of them her teacher. Being an ad man he was concerned that this represented her lack of popularity. She is portrayed as a bit of a geek in the series. He sent her an electronic message asking to be a 'friend' and she denied him. When he asked about it and about her few friends she said that she was just being very selective. Is FB like being in junior high once again? (Another rant about FB here.)

Thursday Thoughts #23---Housekeeping

• Company is coming to stay overnight this weekend to visit and perform a house blessing Hawaiian style. ( I wonder if I need to get out that grass skirt and do I dare wear it?) I MUST patch the ceiling in the guest bedroom before that time. Bad Karma to sleep with cracks above your head. The hardest part is finding the can of matching paint.
• Need to plan a nice menu for them as they have entertained us numerous times. They cannot visit easily as they have goats, chickens, etc. that are pregnant this time of year.
• Babysitting for kids completed this past weekend. Check that off the list. (Daughter did not have to travel to New York over the Valentine's weekend...good news...but may have to fly out this week.)
• Must finish the magnetic photo hanging project that I started. Too many small magnets lying around waiting to accidentally erase PC stuff. In order to save money, I tried to do it myself and have ended up purchasing and re-purchasing parts thus costing even more than the pre-made kit would have cost. (I never learn.)
  
• Considering planning a March trip somewhere...again just considering...craving a change of scenery. Must do some Internet surfing.
  
• It is really hard to get 50 brand new one dollar bills from your bank...I know I have tried for days! These days banks only have dirty money. (A belated birthday addition for my baby brother.)
  
• Planning a budget for the deer fence installation. One determined deer caught his/her head in the wire cage I had placed so carefully around the new smoke bush and dragged the cage into the yard before freeing themselves. They had pruned the smoke bush cleanly insuring I will get no smokey blossoms this year!
• Finished The Time Traveler's Wife but found this love story very heavy and too depressing to pass on to hubby to read. Don't know what to do with the book now. Ditto feelings on Revolutionary Road, but for some reason liked it much more.
• Must drag out all my 8 to 10 swimsuits, many over a decade old, and decide if indeed I should purchase new suits for the "Cruise." (I have decided to focus on photography during this cruise and therefore won't feel so anxious...I have other reasons for anxiety that have nothing to do with my looks in a swimsuit...like being confined with members of 5 different families on a boat and being encouraged to play competitive games. I am like Oprah and would like to hide in the closet at the Kennedy compound.)
• Caulk all the trim work where it is separating--5 rooms. Done! See, I am not a total procrastinating couch potato.
• Post process all the Valentine's weekend photos. That was fun.
• Off to 'cut brush' and pull weeds this afternoon...one of the very few things I have in common with our prior president.
  

One of My Favorite Valentines

Egad

I always thought that over-sugered, obnoxious kids would not be my cup of tea. BUT, it looks like Valentine's Day breaks all the rules. Anyone want to label or caption this? Click to enlarge if you need more creative angst. (Please help me with a caption.)

I would post a photo of the flowers or candy or romantic dinner that I got for Valentine's Day...but I didn't get any of those! But this man has dived into waters to save a drunk stranger, work long hours without pay for environmental causes, and is cooking dinner tonight (if he remembers) so I have to accept my lot in life. Romantic, not. Good and honest, definately.

Back Seat Valentines

I started this blog to track the important times and thoughts in my life and maybe to help me build a road map as to where I am (or should be) going in these later and important years of my life. I also wanted to build a history for any grandchild or great grandchild that needed to understand how and why they got to be so quirky and slightly crazy (blame it on granny). Little did I know that I would acquire backseat drivers (my blog readers) along the way who would challenge, agree, suggest new paths, and map my way in directions I had not planned. If I was down they would reason and cajol and if I was up I would find balance by reading how they were facing the big challenges in their lives. This depth of relationships with and among bloggers was not something I expected. Thus I thank you and wish a Happy Valentine's Day to all of you and those you love.

Recent Email Received From Daughter

"Did I tell you how thankful I am that you are coming. My life in insane right now. Xman still needs to make two more valentines by Friday...all the parents are volunteering (not my idea but I didn't want to be rude and be the only to not help out) to throw a surprise breakfast and lunch for the teachers at CHMS (read below). I volunteered to make a breakfast casserole..so sometime tonight i have to throw that together..then get up at 6:15 am to put it in the oven ...and then it has to be dropped off on Friday morning at 7:30am for bfast. Then Xman needs to be dropped off by 8:50am. So we will have to talk and see what make sense. I think I might be on an 8 or 9am flight to NY and then on a 3 or 4 pm flight home."

I think I remember those days...she is a Type A like me...but I don't ever remember trying to squeeze in a business trip to NY!

Honest Abe

"Perhaps a man's character was like a tree, and his reputation like its shadow; the shadow is what we think of it, the tree is the real thing." Recollected Words of Abraham Lincoln compiled and edited by Don E. Fehrenbacher and Virginia Fehrenbacher (Stanford, Stanford University Press, 1996), p. 43.

Distinguished Looking---NOT!

I stopped dying my hair in December of this year. I saw no point in trying to look younger than I am since I no longer worked in an office. My real hair color is a very dark brown but in anticipation of the grow-out I began highlighting it last fall. The dark brown and gray can be seen in the top and back but the sides and front still have the blond highlight thing going on.

My hair grows fast, but this seems to be taking forever! I was hoping I wouldn't look this way on the April cruise but my hair stylist doesn't think the brown will be gone by then unless I cut my hair very short.

The good thing is that I will no longer be paying to have my hair dyed or dying it myself in between times in the future...what a pain!

Why in this Western culture are men considered distinguished with gray hair and women are thought of as cronish or witchy?

Settling In !

Our house was completed (mostly) in June of 2007.

Within the past month I have noticed two doors in this house that are sticking at the top of the frame when I try to open and close them. Really sticking so that I have to tug quite hard to get them open or closed. One is an inside door and one and outside door on opposite sides of the house. I have checked door hardware and it appears that settling has caused this instead of loose hinges. In one case the hairline crack runs from the corner trim through the sheet rock right up to the ceiling. (All photos can be clicked to enlarge.)





I have also noticed that many of the window trims have started to separate at the top corners and baseboard corners. I am guessing over time this can happen to a house as it ages, but I do not remember seeing so many trim corner cracks in the first house we built.

So, I did a walk around inspection and find also that the window frames in a very few instances are pulling from the sheetrock and therefore the paint is chipping.

I also found a nasty case where the ceiling tape is pulling loose as can be seen in the photo above.

While much of this can be repaired with spackling or caulk and paint, is this much settling normal as a house settles? Is this because of green wood? Should we be more concerned? On days when there are big changes in temperature this house will let out an amazing creak or two in the evening as the air cools down. There are no foundation or cement floor cracks, thank goodness.

Isn't It Romantic?

When you have been married as long as I have, and I have been married a lot longer than I ever thought people could tolerate each other, it is hard to buy an original romantic something for that certain someone. Since we were heading up to the city to babysit last week, I had planned a nice dinner at a favorite restaurant in the city for the following night and then taking in Casablanca on the big screen at a theater. My idea of real romance...probably not my husband's...but as much as I love him, he is no where close to being a romantic, so I took the lead on setting this up.

Anyway, as is well-known, he got the flu big time last week and all had to be cancelled including the theater with the resulting loss of the pre-paid theater tickets.

So, not to be stymied, I had a fall-back idea. I had ordered something for him that I knew he was going to love. It was very expensive and I didn't realize how heavy it was until it arrived, and over three days, continued to arrive in various boxes! Thus, hubby had to find out ahead of time about the gift to help me lift and put the thing together.

I am sure any nosy neighbors across the river were wondering what kind of sex toy this enormous frame with chains, etc. represented since we put everything together in the bay window of the master bedroom. The directions said that it could be put together in about an hour. Well, that is assuming your husband reads directions and lays out all the parts ahead of time. He started pushing in plastic parts and it wasn't until we reached an impasse that I pointed out that the plastic parts were supposed to go elsewhere. (No you cannot comment on our sex life here.) This was about an hour into the project and we sighed in exhaustion and gave up until the next day. This morning hubby was determined to pull out the plastic end pieces and with some drilling and pulling and sweat he succeeded. We once again started the project. In about an hour the project was finished and looked pretty good.

Boy are the lights bright on this baby! Now we will worry about whether the neighbors think we are growing medicinal plants in the bedroom. We also will have to watch the timer as that might indeed have an impact on our sex life.

This unit has three long shelves that he gets to fill with spring seedlings and he is so excited he even said I could have some of the space. Cool huh?

Post Script: No I do not have shades or drapes for the bedroom. We are saving up for that, although with this recession that may be a long time coming. If anyone wants to watch two old farts walking around naked in their bedroom, here' s to em!

Post Post Script: I think this little project with its hundreds of pieces should count for good elder brain exercise. I haven't done something like this in a while.

PPPS: Yes we once had a homemade seeding unit (quite ugly), but we no longer have the patience to try to build something like that again. We are the kind of people that keep the gardening catalogs going.

City Mouse versus Country Mouse

Bob Brady at PureLandMountain featured this article about the human brain in a recent post. Since my blogfriend at One Woman's Journey has been dealing with this issue---as have many of us retirees--- I found the article most fascinating. (After you read it, you can talk among yourselves.)

Thursday Thoughts #22 You Have to Keep Your Sense of Humor--

1. A recent quote by Thomas L. Friedman in an Op-Ed column of the New York Times regarding the recent work of Congress in approaching the financial crisis... "I’ve always believed that America’s government was a unique political system — one designed by geniuses so that it could be run by idiots. I was wrong. No system can be smart enough to survive this level of incompetence and recklessness by the people charged to run it."

2. Hubby came home from his dental appointment and said they wanted to watch him more closely with follow-up appointments because of his deep pockets. Are you sure they were talking about the condition of your gums? I asked.

3. I got an email from the online retail marketing company called Overstock in which they said that they now are offering a real estate section of their Internet catalog. My husband said "Of course, it fits. Real estate is certainly an overstocked item these days."

4. Late last night as my hubby and I fell into bed after a particularly full day of house work and errand running I said " Is it Tuesday ALL READY! What happened to Monday?" My husband looked up at the ceiling and pulled the covers snug under his chin and then said, "Monday came and went pretty fast. Oh my God, we ARE actually going to die."

5. I don't know if you have seen the "Twilight Zone" television ads from the Corn Refiners Association where they claim in their new campaign that sugar, honey, and high-fructose corn syrup are, "nutritionally ... all the same." This isn't funny, but I had to add it to my Thursday thoughts because it makes me smirk.

6. I learned that we laugh because "When people laugh a lot, those endorphins get running around up there in the brain and interject into the hypothalamus and all that stuff, and the humor just comes out, and that is beneficial," says Kurt Kilpatrick. Sounds good to me.

7. How to tell a joke..."Only tell a joke to people who have expressed interest in hearing a joke. If people laugh at the joke, leave the room immediately. That way you look cool." — Tina Fey, creator and star of NBC's 30 Rock

The Sixth Photo Meme

Kenju has a meme going on her blog. She encouraged her readers to follow it. Since I am brain dead this morning but felt like posting something I have decided to go to the sixth folder of my photos on my PC and post the sixth photo. Lovely ladies in Korea visiting a garden. They looked so elegant I had to take their photo. They look like students with a teacher.

Lifestory #25 --- WE WILL ROCK YOU

I am listening to the Superbowl theme music as I sit at the computer and write this entry. I am not a football fan and I have no intention of watching this game tonight, but it does remind me of a life story that is related.

Those of us who have lived overseas and been regarded as expatriates for any length of time are familiar with losing touch with our culture fairly easily as we get wrapped up in the culture of the country in which we are living. In one instance, I remember answering a phone call at 2:00 A.M. Indonesia time one January when I lived in Indonesia sans TV and listening to some excited guy talk in detail about some Super Bowl game that had just ended while I wiped the sleepy dirt from my eyes and then gained enough sense to ask him why he had originally called. It was about some embassy thing that had nothing to do with the Super Bowl!

But this story is about another time and place. It was January 1971 and we were living and working in Palau, Micronesia before we had children. We were on a month's leave and had just returned to the United States for some R & R after two years of being away. One of our stops was in Fort Lauderdale, Florida where my husband's parents lived. Hubby's parents were typical of many American parents of that time a la Madmen. Elderly, back slapping, cocktail drinking and proud of their son's accomplishments. It was a bit intense for me as I grew up on a quiet farm in Colorado. But I took deep breaths and did my best to be a good daughter-in-law.

During the time there was much reminiscing and my father-in law mentioned an old friend of his that really wanted to see my husband. He explained that the guy had done very well in business and actually owned several race tracks and a Jai Alai stadium in the area. He insisted that we take an afternoon and stop by the friend's office. My husband didn't remember this man very well, but to appease his father he agreed.

We drove somewhere outside of Fort Lauderdale to a rather simple but large, white, cinder block building in an area of town that looked much like the type of places disreputable people hang out in those Miami Vice episodes. When we told the secretary we had an appointment with her boss she showed us into his office. The first thing I saw was stuff and more stuff. Piles of papers, boxes, the entire room was filled with stuff and crap and not at all what one expects in visiting a millionaire's office. The working desk was piled high with even more stuff. The man, whom we will call Mr. X to avoid any lawsuit from remaining relatives, sat behind this desk and would have been easy to miss if we had been standing further away. He was short but weighed at least 300 pounds and his age was hard to determine from my inexperience as a 25-year-old.

I don't remember much of the meeting as it was mostly about hubby's youth and the good old days. The meeting lasted maybe 20 minutes, and as we got up to leave, Mr. X reached into a drawer and handed hubby a small envelope. It was a gift, he said, hoping we would enjoy our stay in Florida. Hubby took the envelope and shook his hand and we returned to the car.

As we sat in hubby's parents car which we had borrowed, we opened the envelope and inside were two tickets on the 50-yard line to the 1971 Super Bowl in Miami. This was Super Bowl #5 for those of you who know your football history. Neither my husband or I were the best recipients for this gift as during that time we were not big football fans although hubby has become a bigger fan over the years. We went to the game, enjoyed the game, but all I really remember is crying when they played the National Anthem as I had not heard it in a long time.

I think this is what they call looking a gift horse in the mouth even though we did not question his generosity. Today, of course, we would know better.

So??

Hubby woke up in the middle of the night with the worst intestinal pain ever. At first we thought it was the curried shrimp I had made for dinner (the best I have ever eaten--secret to be revealed in another blog) but since I felt fine hours later we eliminated food poisoning. This morning the agony continues along with the expected results (pushing fluids in and out) and a 100 degree fever. It is the flu, probably caught on the plane flight back from Hawaii. So instead of being worried about food poisoning for myself I am now worried about getting a nasty case of the 'epizootic.' I cancelled the promised babysitting, and I immediately made some fudge from a mix I had on the shelf, added some pecans and tiny marshmallows and when it finished setting I slowly ate two pieces. If I am going to get sick, I want to make sure that these calories are not wasted! (And, yes, we both got our flu shots--clearly immunized against the wrong strain.)

Who moved the ladder?

(Click on photo for larger view)

If you read my other blog, as I am sure many people cannot resist doing in their free time, you will notice I lately have become a bit of a bird fanatic watching the changing bird species as they visit the feeders just ahead of each weather change. They also seem to be starting their spring color changes. I (they) have been going through a substantial amount of sunflower seed and although there are about 20 birds coming and going at any one time, I was still amazed at how much was being eaten each day.

Then, while looking out the window one cold morning, I saw one of our neighborhood squirrels on the feeder. He was wrapped around the green metal container with his fuzzy face completely buried inside one of the seed openings. The greedy rodent was there for a long time sucking down seeds until I finally threw a grapefruit rind in his general direction from the deck. (Yeah, don't ask.) Anyway, this particular feeder has been with us for more than a decade and proven pretty much squirrel proof, so I was curious about how this little piggy was making it up there.

Waiting patiently I saw him return to the area. He scampered over the sunflower seed shells scattered in the snow and jumped to a nearby very small oak tree (5 feet in height) between our two feeders. He would scramble part way up the tree and then fly expertly as if he was a weightless kite to the side of the feeder where his clawed grip (what a yoga move!) allowed him to stick like tar to the feeder and begin his gluttony once again.

I will be honest by saying that I feel everything has its place in nature but I do consider squirrels to be rats with fuzzy tails and am less empathetic to their pursuit of happiness in nature's grand scheme.

The very next day we went out and cut down that little oak tree and that left the squirrels to forage for the seeds that fall to the ground. A short time later I was watching through the dining nook window and saw one of the squirrels scurrying back and forth over the seeds on the ground. He then scampered to the left to the exact place where the tiny oak tree had once reached for the sun and looked up to the sky clearly looking for the missing tree trunk. He returned back beneath the feeder and then back again to where the tree had once been maybe more carefully measuring his pace this second time. He stood on his back legs and looked up for that familiar tree trunk. It was most interesting and funny to watch. I could just imagine him counting one hop, two hops, three hops in his head and then wondering as he stared into space how he could miss an entire tree. Hubby says that they memorize the forest and thus are able to fly from place to place so quickly.

Later I saw him on top of a distant tree stump eating what looked like the berries of the greenbriar vine. Certainly getting better antioxidants than he would with sunflower seeds and maybe reducing the spread of this thorny weed. This expert yoga master was captured in the photo above sitting on a dead tree stump and possibly surveying the feeders below and perhaps planning his next strategic move.

The game is on!

Thursday Thoughts #21 --- Wardrobe

While I am not a style maven and many people who know me will agree, I do think the praise over Michelle Obama's inaugural wardrobe is a bit hyped. I tend to like sophistication and simplicity or drama and elegance for wardrobe selection on important occasions. Jackie Kennedy represented the first and Nancy Reagen the second. I think the tremendous support for Obama is giving Michelle a bit of a pass with their praise in her wardrobe. I am not awed by what she wore. (But none of this is important in the grand scheme of things anyway.)

I haven't ridden a horse since I was 11 and yet I seem to be enthralled by cowboy boots. They are practical and comfortable...but expensive. I got these beauties for Christmas and have worn them twice. In second photo Xman must have one of my wardrobe genes as he stole these from his grandfather who also has not ridden a horse for decades.

I wish I would have had this outfit below, when my little ones were the age where Mom was still the primary source of sustenance. It is called a h**ter hider and only other mothers know what is going on here. This is my sweet daughter in Williamsburg a year ago.

We have little, if any, snow in our area this year. The weather woman said a few mornings ago that she was going to start a snow-watch. She wanted the children who watch the show to put their pajamas on inside-out and backwards and do a little dance before they get into bed each night! I guess that "wardrobe" is an elective subject in getting a meteorology degree. (Since I started this post we have had an icy snow storm plummet the area. Who knew that weather women and their junior fan club had that kind of weather-power?)

My 'cruise' wardrobe planning is going slowly. What does a white...really white...elderly woman wear on a 4-day cruise? I frequently wish I had Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility . I do not want to hide how I look, but how cool would that be for taking photos of everyone?

Another of my holiday gifts was lounge wear. I got tired of hanging out in faded sweats and yesterday wore a holiday gift --- a lovely soft pink velvet outfit...pants, shell, and hooded jacket around the house. I was doing laundry, cooking, and most importantly keeping a warm fire going in the evening. By bedtime as I changed into nightwear, I realized that I would have been better off wearing the faded and stained sweats. Housework is not for sissies.

In my twenties I wore 5-inch heels, in my thirties I graduated to 4-inch heels, my forties 3-inch and my fifties 2-inch heels. Today I wear comfortable bedroom slippers in the cool weather and go barefoot in warm weather and it seems that one's feet stretch when not routinely confined in shells of leather. I have learned that my feet do ache when wearing some shoes in my closet when I head into the city. Lately I don't get my bra on until midday...from what I have learned about shoes.,this does not bode well for the future. (Not that I need a bra !)

Habitual Carelessness

Retirement has been a wonderful gift for which I am daily thankful. I have good health and reasonable economic security, neither of which I take lightly, as I know like everything else in life, both of these will change over time. My life today has been the result of planning, learning, hard work, but mostly luck. I am lucky to be born in this great country. I was lucky to be able to go to college and pursue a career. I am lucky to have two beautiful and healthy grandchildren and two wonderful children. I am lucky to be married to a patient but energetic man. I was lucky enough to never win the lottery or some contest which would be a true burden in this simple life I now have.

Thus, I do carry some guilt with me as I do not think I have 'earned' this.

I carry some more guilt because I have not yet ventured out to share this time in a structured way with others who are not so lucky in this new community where I live. I am guilty because I do not feel lonely for being able to go for days at a time without meeting or talking to anyone, especially when my husband is on travel. I could so easily be a hermit.

I think this temporary withdrawal is because I was so bitter about the mediocrity and falseness of my last 5 years of employment. I was paid very well by the American taxpayer and not allowed to accomplish anything. I worked with people who created budgets that were never implemented and listed goals and milestones that could not be met without a fixed budget which we never got. It was a Dilbert world without the humor. (Our illustrious leader was a political appointee...need I say more?) Thus, I retired early taking a cut in retirement income. As a Type A, the alternative would have been slitting my wrists.

Perhaps, this procrastination now is because I feel as if I still have wounds to lick and a mind to heal.

But I have also learned that all those times I used to tell myself, "Once I get some free time..." have arrived. "Once I have more free time" I will exercise every day...not happening. I will sew those curtains after the New Year...fabric is still sitting in a plastic bag. I will paint the front room built-in so that it matches the trim...guess I will wait until spring so I can open the windows. I will repaint the trim in the kitchen so that it matches the cabinets...ditto. I will start with babysteps and drop by the local library and see if they need a volunteer or have a list of volunteer programs...soon I hope. I will garden more...that one is easy to do.

It is scary how easy it is to procrastinate especially when there are no immediately seen consequences for your bad habits.

Thursday Thoughts #20 --- Being Thilly

The recent time spent with my grandchildren helps me keep my perspective as I age.

• When the first grandchild was born, my daughter asked what I wanted to be called...grannie? grandma? I said nonna which is an Italian way of saying grandma. Xman's version as he learned to talk converted this to Neeeena. My new granddaughter struggles with pronouncing nonna---now neeena--- and calls me nana. I feel like a fruit.
• My daughter's in-laws wanted to be called Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop and my daughter now says her children do not have grandparents.
• Sha, my granddaughter, was fighting a cold and some intestinal issues during the visit. When her mother said one afternoon, "Oh no, there she blows!" this meant one of two things, neither of which I will detail.
• Sha spent many minutes each day with her nose pressed to the window to watch the birds at the feeder. That window now looks like some abstract art as it is covered in snot.
• My daughter and I could only exchange short sentences due to toddler interruptions and got very good in talking in code as we tried to have adult conversations throughout the long weekend.
• I continue to find little things as I clean the house...an empty sippy cup, a little ball, a lego piece and I have to take a deep breath so that I don't tear up.
• The place at the foot of my bed where Xman's portable bed goes when he visits seems very bare after he leaves. I am just getting used to sleeping without the night light.
• While putting on Xman's shoes for his departure I said that winter was very cold outside but I was sad we have not had any real snow yet. He took my face in his two little hands, brought his face close to mine, and looked me in the eye and said "You have to be patient, Neena. It will snow."
  
  
• Chocolate cake works every time!

The Gene Pool

When this little gal was born all her elders played that familiar guessing game of who she took after. Many of us agreed that she looked very much like her paternal grandfather who is a handsome, sometimes funny, and usually simple and conservative man. But I am of the opinion that looks don't count for everything and children frequently become a blend of their elders good and bad characteristics. Therefore, I sometimes look for something of myself in her eager personality and activities.

My daughter took the photos below while I was playing a game with my grandson. As you can see, the gardener in me seems to have inspired the gardener in her. I am hoping this is a sign of the future where we can plant and cut flowers, grow and taste the freshest of vegetables, and perhaps, create little garden rooms of imagination and fantasy.

The Big Event

The past few days have been an exciting lead up to one of the most important days in the history of our nation. The BBC is setting aside 5 HOURS for this event, so I do not think it is hyperbole to say it is a very significant time in our history. This is one of the most anticipated inaugurations in our nation's history and also one of the most protected. I will not detail the 3,000 restrictions that are being placed on attendees including carrying nothing larger than a lunch bag to some of the areas. My lovely daughter and her two children are fleeing the area and joining me at the house late Sunday night through Tuesday evening...or perhaps staying until Wednesday morning. She is not going in to work on Monday or Tuesday. Why is this, one might ask?

• The highway and bridge she takes to get into work will be closed as will every other bridge in the immediate area.
• The garage beneath her office where she regularly parks, which is about a mile from the Capital, will be closed to the public.
• Everyone will be forced to take Metro or a bus or walk. (The Metro is a VERY crowded trip on the 4th of July when there are fewer people coming to the city.)
• The events begin Sunday and go through Tuesday.
• There will be hundreds of celebrities.
• They are predicting 4 to 5 million people will attend. It will be miserably cold, so I am predicting about 2 million people.
• Someone said there will be 5,000 port-a-potties and an 'expert' analysis said that is not near the amount needed. (That should be fun in cold weather.)
• Every hotel is full and some folks are renting their apartments for $1,000...my son, whose apartment is walking distance from a nearby metro station, considered this but then got cold feet as the day grew closer.
• There will be great concerts...some free and some requiring tickets.
• There will be a parade...a very cold parade unless you are marching in it.
• There will be 10 inaugural balls (and no place to sit at these balls if one wears high heels.)
• Therefore, even those attending will have to brace themselves for a challenging event. My daughter is afraid she won't make it to work...much less make it home to pick up the kids from day care on those days.

And thus, I will not have the courage to go myself, even though I think it is a big deal. I will raise a glass of bubbly to the big screen TV and wish him a decent first 100 days but not expect more than is realistic in these difficult times. (For a little more inspiration...go here.)

Life Stories #23--The Mark, the Patsy, the Dupe

Years ago, when I was living in Indonesia, I spent much time discovering many wonderful temples and architectural wonders in this exotic country. One of my very favorite places to visit was the famous Buddhist temple of Borobudur, "a mountain of a thousand statues." When it had been excavated and the jungle cleared by the British governor, Sir Thomas Standford Raffles, the temple was open to theft and destruction over the ensuring years and that can be seen when touring the temple.

After newly arriving in Jogajakarta, and once the rainy season had slowed and the muddy roads had dried, my family and I went to visit this famous temple for the first time. This temple is one of the most visited Buddhist temples by tourists from all over the world, and can be quite crowded most days. There is a narrow initial entry, and as we approached the steps, the ventura effect of the narrower entry with the wave of many tourists caused us to be pushed closer and closer together until we were shoulder to shoulder with many others. There was a young man in front of me assisting a frail elderly woman make her way slowly up the steps. The crowd flowed around me on either side and as I was pushed forward into the couple tried very hard not to knock them to the ground. The elderly woman was barely able to make it up each step and it was impossible for me to get around the pair and so I accepted my fate of inching upwards. People kept pushing me from behind and it took all my energy to just maintain my balance.

Finally we reached the plateau above, and the crowd dispersed and I could breathe again. I pull the canvas bag from off my shoulder where its weight had caused some strain and that was when I notice a clean razor cut in the side small pocket where my wallet of Rupiahs and my International driver's license had been stored. I knew immediately when and how it had happened and did not bother looking for the team of thieves.

Several years later I was vacationing with my husband and children in Spain. We had arrived a few days before in Madrid and were getting an early morning start for a drive to the ancient city of Toledo. Hubby was having some health problem, which I cannot recall, and so we parked the car at the side of a lovely tree-lined street and he walked across to a corner pharmacy. I waited in the rental car with the two little ones in the back seat. The early morning light was lovely and golden as it filtered through the trees. A young and very attractive man stepped out of the nearby alley ahead of the car and leaned against a brick wall and smoked a cigarette enjoying the morning. A middle aged couple, just beyond him up the sidewalk, were sauntering arm and arm towards us lost in each others company. In less than three seconds as they passed the man he had removed the purse from her shoulder. She let out a small scream and tried to hang on, but was too slow in reaction. The man disappeared down the alley with her purse. The couple ran after him, but he evaporated into some well planned escape route. By the time hubby returned to the car with his curative, I had decided to be far more alert the rest of the day.

Again, several more years have passed, and one spring afternoon I had left my work for a meeting in downtown Washington D.C. It was April, the Cherry Blossom Festival was in full swing, the weather was wonderful, and I left my meeting early deciding to play hooky the last hour of the day and walk under the Cherry Blossoms at the end of the Mall. As I crossed the Mall a woman of about 35 approached me. She asked if I knew where the Metro station was. I was slightly suspicious but pointed the way. Then she asked if I knew how much it would cost to go from point A to point B. I told her that they had posted the rates at the station and again started to walk away.

She immediately began to follow me and launched into a long and detailed story of how she had passed out from some illness the night before at a restaurant, had been rushed to the emergency room of a city hospital, had called her sitter that night to watch over her daughter, and had just been released this morning. Her Priest had sat up with her all night and both were relieved when her illness proved to be minor. Her priest had just dropped her off to take a metro home and she realized that she had absolutely no money in her purse. Did I have any dollars to loan her? She had to get home and release her sitter.

I stopped in my tracks and studied this very intelligent face. It was a very compelling story and I cannot replicate the skill with which it was told in this writing. But, even though I knew this was a scam, there was something making it hard for me not to believe her. I took a breath and then looking her in the eye, I told her she should go into acting. She said something to me in response that I cannot write here. But the little Catholic woman had learned some pretty saucy language outside of her church. She stomped away already looking for her next victim. Had she broken into tears, perhaps I would have given some money.

And then just a few years ago I had blogged about this little incident.

Messin' Around

These photos are somewhat degraded as I resized for the blog, but I am having so much fun today with Paint Shop Pro. I have used this software for years, but never really got into some of the nicer features. As I wrote, I have downsized the photos above for blogger. For instance, my son's girlfriend is gone from the photo above. Any photographic detective could see it on the full resolution image, but not your average viewer. (I am not removing her from the photos by the way...just experimenting.) And then the poor photo of the red-bellied woodpecker which I shot through the dining room window (no way I am going outside) has been greatly enhanced. It is not a great shot, but you should have seen the before!

Thursday Thoughts # 18 -- Things I Have Learned from Mother Nature

Mother Nature never throws anything away. She always recycles. But, we live in a culture where it is considered good for our society to get rid of the old stuff and make room for the new stuff. This includes housing and so a healthy economy means we build more houses and sell more houses. We buy more stuff and get rid of old stuff. This is good for the economy. When I continue thinking along this path it all looks more and more like a giant pyramid scheme to me.

The old adage about bending like the willow so that you don't break leaves out all the gray nuances in life such as when you bend, and maybe aren't watching, sometimes someone will come along and chop off your head or make you feel as if they have while you are trying to adjust to some major change in your life! (another post)

Some days I don't feel as industrious or energetic as I think I should at this elder age and then I see this:

and realize I have not a clue about industriousness and probably wasn't very high energy when I was younger either, and then I try not to be so hard on myself.

When we first bought this vacant peninsula of land a lovely swan greeted us at the dock as we ate our recently purchased Dunkin Doughnuts' breakfast. I forbade my husband to feed the swan as I didn't want swan poop all over the dock in the future. Today, years later, two lovely swans were cruising near the dock and I handed hubby a slice of stale bread and told him to go down to the dock and feed them. They swam eagerly forward, picked at the stale bread, turned up their noses and swam away. Even in nature fresh ingredients are important.

Having a good group of friends to hang out with and party all night is one honest way to make it through a long cold winter. Boy were they noisy last night!


Below is another less demanding way to pass the gray winter days but I think just as psychologically restorative. (As anal as I have been criticized for being I did not screw the containers together alphabetically!)

The Invitation

I got this in the mail the other day. It does not mean I am important because anyone who contributed to Obama's campaign probably got one of these. I have gotten invites years ago from Bill and Hillary, but they looked more like invites to a 'party' whereas (note the use of the archaic here) this one looks like an official document, is letter size, card weight and is even embossed.

The odd thing (other than the fact that I am not going) is that this also came along with an ad for a half dozen items I could purchase to remember the important event. Mugs, coins, whatevah. That sort of took away the dignity of the whole thing for me. Having worked with archivists who preserve realia for a living I am not much of a memorabilia collector. Just something more to dust or store.

Leftovers

Nothing like following up a post about losing weight with a post about food. But I actually used a Good Housekeeping recipe (instead of putting it in a notebook for oblivion) the other day for Peruvian Fish Soup. My husband had traveled years ago in Equador and said he had eaten a Peruvian fish stew that was very good and so I had to try this when I found it. It turned out so delish that I am going to share. And, yes, it is relatively healthy and low-calorie.

1TBsp. veg oil
1 med onion chopped
1 Serrano or jalapeno chile (we used two but made sure to remove the seeds)
2 cloves fresh garlic
1 tsp ground cumin
2 bottles clam juice (I only had one, but it didn't seem to hurt the flavor)
1 can diced tomatoes
2 cups water
1 lb. red potatoes in 1 inch chunks
2 limes
1 1/2 lbs cod fillet (I had a pound of frozen bass from last summer's catch)
1/2 pound med scallops (bought these on the day --kind of expensive!)
1/2 pound clean squid (I opted out of this ingredient after spending the $$ on scallops)
1/4 cup loosely packed cilantro chopped.

This soup was divine and just a little hotter then next day after all the spices mingled. If you want the directions to prepare this ( it take 20 minutes to prepare and about another 30 to cook), let me know in the comments below and I will email you!

Pretentious Vanity

It is pretentious for me to hit my sixties and say that I do not care how I look. I have drawers full of cosmetics and face creams and hair goo. If I didn't care how I looked, I would throw all of these out and go plain Jane. I do go plain on most days. Putting on only moisturizer and hair conditioner to keep me from flaking away. Some folks were born into that gene pool of aging gracefully and look just as good without makeup as they do with it. Sissy Spacek comes to mind. She looks 16 and has looked like a teenager her whole life.

I don't care how I look (just stop by for a visit) when I am lounging around the house, when I am cleaning the house, when I am stacking wood, blogging in the early morning or when I am digging a garden bed. I really do not care, because the evidence of my actions excuses my messy looks.

I care just a little how I look when I have gotten through rolling on the floor with a toddler, cooking a rather industrious meal for guests, or changing planes at the airport. I do want a brush through my hair and some lipstick help before I settle into that next plane for hours.

But, I am nervously vain about appearances when I am going on vacation to areas where the climate insures that one does not wear many clothes. All the make-up and hair spray will not make me look healthy in a swimsuit.

Last year we agreed to a Disney Cruise with my daughter and her in-laws this coming April. Yes, a cruise where the majority of passengers are below 3 feet in height. Yes, we agreed to being confined on the ocean on a boat with tiny cabins and hundreds of busy activities run by scary high energy employees in costumes...not my idea of a vacation, especially when you shell out such sums of money for this. But I was determined in my elder years to be more generous in avoiding regrets by failing to do things in life that seemed regrettable and thanked them for remembering us and purchased the tickets.

My appearance concern starts escalating because I will be with a 60-something grandma that has a lovely figure and two nicely built thirty-something females, one of whom used to be a professional cheerleader. You know the type, artificial breasts, straight blond hair and the sweetest little face. I have been trying (without success and empathizing each day with Oprah) to lose about 10 more pounds so that I don't look like a walking light bulb. Yes, a low watt bulb, a dim bulb but a bulb none-the-less. I am a healthy grandma. I am not asking for a 50 pound re-make here, just a little reshaping.

Can I lift 12 pound free weights for 20 reps ? Yes. Can I run a 3 minute mile? Yes. Can I do 80% of that nasty yoga tape before collapsing in a sodden lump on the mat? Yes. Can I do 5 minutes of very intense ab work? Yes. Can I lose more weight around my mid-section? Apparently not.

Last week I avoided the 3 ten-minute miles on the elliptical every other day (YES, dear readers, 3 TEN MINUTE MILES(!)) in favor of an old 'Firm' tape that used to push me to the limit with both weights and aerobics. The d**n thing runs for a full 55 minutes and I was determined to make it through the entire excruciating ordeal at this re-start of a new direction in my weight loss program.

I made it. My form was somewhat sloppy, but I made it to the end of the tape. I was sweating and breathing heavy...but I made it.

The very next day I could barely make it out of bed. That afternoon it felt as if knives had been plunged into my thighs, buttocks and calves. The day following that I took that forest hike I had written about on my other blog and I honestly thought I would DIE from the pain of just walking. The vision of being carried out on a stretcher by two forest rangers did not seem unrealistic. Two more days and some yoga later and I still consider it a torture to go up the stairs to blog in the morning. I still take Aleve when I fall into bed at night. I still have not lost the 10 pounds! Yes I have gained a pound...sure, you can tell me it is muscle, but it didn't land anywhere useful that I can see.

Vanity is a most poisonous sin but it does not eat you from the inside out...at least not so it shows.

Being in the Moment

Honoring my ongoing promise to myself to be more 'in the moment', I fixed a dinner of rosemary lamb chops, garlic and curry roast potatoes, and a healthy baby spinach salad with orange-wedges (from my favorite clementines), thin red onion slices and almonds. The meal was beautiful to look at and in honor of being in the moment I did not rush away to take a picture for the blog. (The picture above was taken on another day with silly glasses that do not match.) I took my time to inhale each captivating smell as I sat down for dinner, and while we do not say grace, I was thankful in my heart and soul and to the powers that be for this meal. I slowly chewed each bite of food and let the flavors linger before swallowing. My husband and I respected the value and precious quality of this meal and the quiet time we had to linger over it.

My husband had made a fresh pitcher of cold green tea and in keeping with the spirit of the moment I brought the glass to my nose to inhale as if it were a fine wine before taking my first sip. The green tea had been enhanced with a sliver of the little kaffir lime that had clung to the tree for months before falling to the floor when I turned the tree in the sun that morning. When I inhaled, the aroma was like a verdant spark. It was lime but not lime. It was like a sweet floral perfume but not heavy or out of place. It was better than even drinking the lovely green tea itself. This gift from the 4 foot citrus plant in a green plastic pot tucked in the corner window was one of the best gifts I got over the holiday season.

I will try to be in the moment more often.

Venezia

"Once did she hold the gorgeous East in fee, And was the safeguard of the West."
Author: William Wordsworth

The husband has found a new good friend and like puppy dogs they have taken this mild winter day off to do what is shown above. They have driven down south with a boat in tow and will spend the night in a hotel. Thus I have two precious half days to myself.

In the last few hours I have just finished reading:


and was feeling a little cold and wet like the characters in this mystery that trudged through Venice in search of the murderer during the high water season.



I put on the above music, which was a holiday gift, as I prepared a light and warming lunch and when finished eating I continued my immersion in all things Italian.

As I sat on the couch, I tucked my stockinged feet under me and opened Michael Krondl's "The Taste of Conquest" which is about the "rise and fall of three great cities of spice" and once again found myself back in Venice but at a much earlier time when European involvement in the spice trade flourished. And, of course, the first city he visits is Venice. It appears that Venice began with salt and war...no surprise there and since they controlled the trade sold salt to Italy at an 80% profit.


I visited Venice a number of years ago and it is a city that is overwhelming in its beauty and somewhat frightening in it decadence. It is my understanding that because the city is sinking its population is dwindling. All things change and nothing stays the same.

Well, excuse me, must get back to my reading.

Re-arranging the Furniture

The danger of changing ones blog is like the danger of changing the furniture placement in your house. If your family has been away for a while they can stub their toes as they come inside and then may look around and wonder if they entered the wrong house. Blogs styles become familiar and comfortable to readers but I was getting bored with the Tuscan architecture. Let's see if I can stay happy with this.