The Dinner

The restaurant she had selected was a high-end seafood chain located in the Galleria near the more expensive stores. She had hoped that the empty parking spaces outside were a clue that the restaurant would be quiet inside, but the holiday season had packed both the bar at the front and the tables in the various rooms with festive customers.

She and her husband were led to a room near the far back and that helped reduce the din. Trying to look a little fashionable, she had carefully dressed in a loose fitting black turtle neck sweater and a faux suede skirt cut on the bias that allowed her new tan and dark brown cowboy boots to show. The weather had turned unusually warm which meant the brown tights she had decided to wear instead of a slip were making her a little uncomfortable. Her husband, who spent much of the last few weeks in jeans and sweatshirts, had found it more difficult to dress wanting to wear the new mock turtleneck sweater he had gotten as a gift and finding most of his slacks too dressy for the casual knit. He finally decided on a faded pair of Dockers. They looked like a typical middle class retired couple pushing unsuccessfully for an upper middle class look.

Their waiter arrived almost immediately upon being seated. His head was covered by a thick heavy thatch of dark hair shooting every which way and his face was covered by a dark beard making him look very much like a terrorist rather than a waiter, but his smile was easy as he filled the water glasses. She ordered a holiday cocktail to help her relax and her husband ordered the usual soda water.

They both checked their phones for messages and then made idle conversation hiding the slight tension as they waited for the third party to arrive. She had called him twice during the afternoon and didn't get an answer. Finally she pressed upon her husband to call him once again just before they parked the car, and that was when their son returned the call to say he was finishing the final load of laundry and would be running a little late.

They were in the middle of the 'calamari trio' appetizer when their son showed up dressed casually and with his favorite torn jeans. (Did every pair he owned have torn pockets?) He order a soda and she had mixed feelings about his avoidance of a bottle of beer. It was good because he had to drive out later to his apartment and meet up with friends for the rest of his birthday celebration, but she wondered if this meant he would keep his guard up during the entire meal.

Small talk about the crowds and the holidays and the sales drifted into talk about the Christmas day memories with the little toddlers. She and her husband ordered the special with the recommended glass of wine. By the time they were well into their entrees the conversation had drifted comfortably into politics and religion. The subjects that all were in agreement on and safe in discussing during the rest of the meal.

As the final espresso was ordered her son began a story about a friend of his and the friend's girlfriend at a recent night out. Her son had been scolded by the girlfriend because he had brought another friend of his with two twenty-something sisters who were in town for the holiday. The girlfriend seemed to think he was trying to fix her boyfriend up with one of the sisters and angrily reprimanded him, and the whole event sounded like the Bachelorette or one of those other inane junior high level reality shows of this thirty-something generation where the women are so insecure that only 20k of plastic surgery will calm them down.

At the end of the story, her son smiled and said he felt sorry for his friend and then said he was glad he wasn't dating anyone right now.

They paid the bill and then walked to their cars and exchanged some gifts and Christmas cookies she had made. She hugged and kissed him goodbye and drank in the smell of him under the aftershave, perhaps clinging a little too long as she knew it would probably be months before she could get their paths to cross again. He opened the door to his car and gave them that familiar sideways smile and little wave before he ducked inside.

Well, she thought to herself, that went as well as can be expected.

Window to Past, Present and Future

Looking back at a time when I was a little girl, I can remember the colorful and interesting Christmas cards that my parents would get from across the United States and occasionally across the world. I would look at the photos, read the personal notes and wonder who these people were that had known my parents so well before I was born. What was this life that they had shared with people in another era? They were just old boring parents as I knew them.

This past weekend I was at my daughter's house when she was opening her mail which consisted of at least a dozen holiday greeting cards that were, for the most part, photos of grinning or mugging little children. Who were these dozens of little people? What part were they playing in the lives of my daughter and son-in-law? The cards were a little window into a current social world that was unfamiliar to me.

Last week I got an email from my son's girlfriend letting us know that we would not be seeing her over the holidays as she and my son had recently broken up. It was a mature separation that appears to have left them both in a lot of pain. This was sad news for me as my son is not a social butterfly and being alone over the holidays is not how I wanted to picture him. What we have is a failure to communicate when it comes to this parent son relationship and this gal was my little tiny window into his life of un-returned phone calls and rare email responses. Now that this window has been closed, our worlds are once again drifting apart. I am so sad.

Looking Into the Future

I see the future in this little one's face. Her personality shines through. With this one glance I become putty in her hands.

Advice for the Family Holidays--thursday thougths #15

(Tabor really wanted to decorate the tree with her lovely gold and red globes and red glitter birds from last year...but the traditional 'safe' ornaments were the necessity of the day. Someday, Tabor will get a grown-up tree.)

If you are looking forward to having the family visit and you have become accustomed to the retirement lifestyle for some time I have some helpful ideas for you:

1. Once you are retired you become blase about having time to yourself and having quiet afternoons and having more than 3 minutes to complete a task and more than 1 minute to complete a thought. You must accept the fact that this is a ridiculous and abnormal lifestyle in the real world.

2. I have a more normal scenario. Start the water in the microwave for a well-deserved cup of tea and the second you finish pressing the last button, run to the other end of the kitchen to catch the toddler before she falls into the plants by the far window, and as you navigate this route, trip over the dog's water bowl (which you forgot was there because you don't have a dog), and finally, as you try to prevent yourself from doing the splits, grab the tablecloth so that the bowls of salsa can topple to the floor just missing the little dog who is anticipating another "food fall" of the day.



3. Another typical event: If you roast a 20 pound turkey and hubby volunteers to cut everything up at the end of the meal so that you can have slices for freezing, sandwiches, etc., and if you notice that it seems to be taking him more than an hour to complete this task, you need to interrupt the activity immediately. If you don't, fatigue is going to win over and he is going to carve with one hand and push the platter across the counter with the other resulting in a free fall of your tall containers of olive oil and canola oil on the very same counter and as they crash to the floor...well you know the rest, just read #2.

4. If you notice a strange expression on a small dog's face or a small child's face this means you need to provide access to the outside for the dog and access to the guest bathroom for the toddler ASAP.

5. You will become something of a scatological expert over the visit as parents will inquire about the ease of delivery, consistency, and color of the toddler's product. The pet owner just wants to know if the dog did both #1 and #2 when he/she got outside.

6. Breakfast works for the old folks, the younger ones do not get up until 11:00 as there was probably 9 hours of football well into the evening of the day before. If, like me, you are not crazy about football, do not expect this time to catch up on your reading...you are toddler watching. Toddler watching involves very little sitting time, you will burn off all the calories from any substantial meals recently eaten.

7. You will notice that educational toys are used very differently based on the gender of the child. The three and a half year old male will bang and bang on the buttons frequently while totally ignoring the directions given by the talking toy while he tries to make as much noise as possible. The 14-month-old female will hit the button for the cat when the machine says 'cat' and then giggle. (You will agree that this gender relationship to following directions and being goal-oriented continues in later life.)

8. Remember the board games that you used to play with the older kids over the holidays? Well, you can still do that if you are still awake with a functioning brain after the toddlers are finally asleep at 9:00 P.M. No one at our house had reached that goal.



9. If you decided to make a family activity of decorating the Christmas tree while all the loved ones are around, as I in a moment of insanity decided to do, be prepared for more undecorating than decorating.



10. And finally, accept the fact that not everyone will be happy at the end of the day.

Post Script: While it may sound like I did most of the work (and perhaps I did) I loved the entire exhausting weekend and each moment will be my treasured memory in years to come.

Post Post Script: Stock up on paper towels, napkins, toilet paper and kleenex...you will need a LOT!

Walk the Walk

Sunday, an absolutely perfect fall day, was our reward for going to watch our son's band play for the Humane Society Walk for the Animals. This first photo was before most of the crowd showed with their dogs. His band played off and on for FIVE HOURS---10:00 to 3:00. He was fighting a head cold and had to be there at 6:30 that morning for early set up as they were closing Constitution Ave. in the A.M. It was a good cause, but I am glad he still has his day job.

The location, Constitution Gardens, was perfect for both dogs and their owners.

And my little Xman had a good time listening and dancing to his Uncle's beat. We all were afraid he would fall into that "E. coli" lake, but he kept his coordination together.

They were supposed to have a tent with potential animals to adopt and I was worried my husband would lock eyes with a mutt and fall in love from across the room (tent). But this was put on hold for another day, because we were so busy visiting, listening to the music, and watching the toddlers that we didn't make it back up the hill. We ARE going to get a dog, probably sometime this year, but we have escaped mutt love for the time.

Three day weekend

I got back yesterday and totally collapsed. Napped on the couch for about an hour in the afternoon and then watched chick flicks and ate snacks. Fortunately hubby can heat up leftovers---of which there are many---for himself. A three year-old totally drains every drop of energy and then watching his one-year-old sister yesterday morning was the final hill that I climbed.

Today, my son and his girlfriend are coming to spend the night. I was thinking about how nervous she probably is...and of course, for no real reason. But visiting with the guys parents is always a bit of a challenge.

I have shopped for food and cleaned the house after Xman's adventures.

I am too tired to write anything creative and also kind of in a slump about the hurricane that is heading to Louisiana. The one right behind it is currently heading our way...ugh.

My Little Secret

This next week I will be taking care of my grandson, Xman, since his Montessori school has closed for 8 days. My daughter took off from work last week for three days to watch him and when she asked us to take him this week, we agreed. It will save her money and we love the child, so, are more than happy to get geared up for the challenge. He is inquisitive, emotional and self-centered. He is physically active and has no fear. He finds joy in most things but can get quite unhappy when he doesn't get his way. I am guessing that without Dad or Mom or the 'other grandmother' to run interference for him, he will be more amenable to hearing a 'no' now and then.

I have my reservations on his homesickness level as this will be the first time that this 3+ year-old will be away from both parents and his home for at least four nights and five days. I know that it will be a good growing experience, but that does not mean we won't have down times. I am going out to buy some games and videos this afternoon as tranquilizers if needed.

Xman then gets returned on Friday of next week by us. Then my son's girl friend has talked him into coming down on Sunday and spending the night through Labor Day to spend time with us. My Secret is that, guiltily, I did not invite my daughter for this three day weekend as well, because I would really like some adult only time with my son and his girl. Hubby wanted everyone here for that three-day weekend, but I would end up doing most of the cooking and much of the babysitting and wouldn't get a chance for adult exchange and told him that. My daughter and I can rarely complete sentences with each other when both little ones are underfoot! Hubby looked surprised...but then when we have company he is...well, let's just say he doesn't notice why things run pretty smoothly.

I don't really like family politics.

The Big Weekend or A Precautionary Tale

This blog entry is a tale for those future grandmothers/grandfathers wondering if their young adults are ever going to get it on and present them with some grandchildren. Remember, it is said that you sometimes get what you wish for...

Recipe for potential disaster, mix the following carefully:
4 thirty-somethings--two males and two females
2 toddlers--11 months and 12 months
2 preschoolers--3 + years old
2 old farts

If your first-born grandson sleeps in your room because the baby sister is sick with a fever, you will not need an alarm clock. He will present you with a rubber snake before the sun is up.


Fortunately, he can pretty much dress himself. This is very useful as your eyes are not yet open, and, unlike him, you cannot form complete sentences. Thus, you are not much help.


Baby sister does not let a little flu bug hold her down. She may have gotten the household up three or four times crying with a stopped up nose and congested lungs, but she still takes her morning crawl right after a breakfast of blueberry pancakes. Note to new grandparents...you had better keep up! Mommy is barely functioning.




Once you pass the test to see if you can get to all the dangerous places in the house before the crawler and retrieve all the bugs you thought you had vacuumed, then it is time to go on the post-breakfast constitutional. This usually results in one or the other being carried on the way back as the morning gets hotter. Do not hold your breath as you will not be the one to be carried.


After lunch it is time for the mid-day swim. Remember to keep your camera dry because you will get wet even though you do not get into the tiny pool.

No one is safe from getting wet including the local wildlife.

The first day begins to wind down with a toe counting exercise. As luck would have it all of them have all of their toes!!

And, as usual, it is the male of the species that crashes just before dinner as the sun is receding behind the trees.

Footnotes:
1)The adult males were the only ones who had time to play several games of ping pong, fish from the dock and actually stay up late and watch a movie. How in the hell we let them get away with that I don't know, but we continue to let them think they are the stronger and smarter.

2) This visit 90% of the folks were excellent eaters and praised my meals until I got that warm glow of energy to do it all again the next day.

3) Tabor lost 1.5 pounds!! I have been putting in two miles on the elipitcal many mornings with out budging any fat cells. I just need more weekends like these where I never sit and rarely eat.

Glutton for Punishment?

Oh, yes, I guess that is what I am...a glutton for punishment. Sometimes it seems that things happen to me without any pro activeness on my part. Actually I do know that this coming weekend was not even a glimmer of an idea in my mind, because I have been sleeping so well these evenings. Certainly this was actually all my daughter's idea. I do NOT remember initiating this. I do not even remember talking about it at length with anyone...but then, one of the lovely attributes of getting older is that darn forgetting part. Just because you do not have it written on the calender, does not mean it was not scheduled. After all, it WAS on someone else's calendar.

Tabor's B&B is once again opening for weekend business. It seems that my daughter and her husband and her two toddlers are joining us ALONG with her friend and her friend's husband and THEIR TWO TODDLERS. Yes, I will be entertaining four very tired adult parents and four very active tots under the age of 3.5 that are pretty much as mobile and curious as un-housebroken puppy dogs. This may be just the breakthrough I need to lose those last 5...10...alright, 15(!) pounds.

I have planned a menu or two and am cleaning the house, although with four little rugrats being set loose, only God knows why! I have battened down the hatches, even though I have found that little fingers are really experts at hatches. I have stocked the 'larder' with applesauce, microwave mac & cheese, colored goldfish, and frozen juice bars. I will set up the small rubber swimming pool with grandmotherly sprightliness. I will take my vitamins. If I were the religious type, I would pray, but perhaps some of you can do that for me.

OH, this should be so much fun...right? Photos to follow...

Braggin'

Thoughts of appreciation to those who have given their lives for freedoms too precious to define on this Memorial Day.

I am alone today as my husband has always had the unique ability to schedule business trips over three day weekends--this really means much less now that we are both 'retired.' My daughter is with friends and her family in New York. My son ... my son...what he is doing today is anyone's guess.

Yet all is well with my small soul as I got up early (5:00 a.m.) and started cooking at 6:00 a.m. I am spending next week with my daughter due to a number of social activities as well as getting hubby at the airport near her house. Therefore, at 8:01 I have completed a Tuna Noodle Nicoise Casserole, a Turkey Cheese Enchilada Casserole and 23 Devils Food cupcakes. I still have to make a fresh strawberry pie. I NEVER go empty handed to the house of a woman with small children. One MUST bring food. I can hear the envious sighs from across the blogosphere.

The Devils Food cupcakes are supposed to be one of those super healthy recipes...one small (13 oz) can of pumpkin filling and one devil's food cake mix. That is all that goes into this recipe! Mix and bake as directed on the box. I have never tried this recipe. The batter was sort of fudgy rather than battery, but seemed to taste OK. We will see how these low calorie snacks turn out. I did not think I would finish the casseroles so early, so now I have the rest of the day to get the potted plants ready for being ignored for the next 6 days.

I also made a banana cream pie...not my favorite but a great way to use the extra pie crust and leftover bananas.

Seeing into the Future

As I photographed this baby-beauty a few weeks ago, I captured this moment in time. Tell me if you cannot see the sultry and sexual beauty she will become someday. She will break a few hearts and I can only hope her heart will not be broken too often.

The Ongoing Education

Once again Tabor is getting an education in life. I guess it means we are still alive if we can still learn.

I have recently (re) learned the following:

1) When you receive a call from one of those little people that starts with "I go poo poo in potty." you still react with the same manic enthusiasm you did when you had little tykes of your own. Obsession with pee pee and poo poo goes on and on from generation to generation.

2) Potty training means a child may wake up in the middle of the night several times screaming that he needs to go to the potty.

3) Watching a child bounce off the walls due to too much Valentine's Day chocolate and candy is almost as frightening as a Stephen King movie scene.

4) The reason they are called the Terrible Twos is because the child can be really, really, really terrible---behavior that one expects in an insane asylum comes to mind.

5) It is definitely time for mom to feed the toothless one when the toothless one starts grabbing food off of my plate and then commences screaming when I pull the plate away and lick her hands that are full of my mashed sweet potatoes.

6) At day care little girls are little girls---hugging and hanging on to X-man and little boys are little boys--- running around the room casting glances as they try to impress the visiting grandma.

7) Being around small children brings to mind the same question I ask about Presidential candidates...Why would anyone in their right mind volunteer for this!

8) The answer to #7 is that you are in love with the idea, the process and the result.

Don't Think Too Far Ahead

I am probably not the most upbeat person to be around. I do love life and I do find each day an adventure, but I am one of those people who is always thinking too far ahead.

For example, when my daughter was a baby, each time I nursed her, I would think sadly about the day I would have to start weaning her. Then when she became a toddler I would get sad thinking about the day that she would head off to school and how I would miss our hours together. Then, as you can probably guess, the years in junior high for both of my children were filled with my thoughts about the empty nest when they would head out to college and their bedrooms would be filled with dusty prom trinkets and forgotten basketball photos.

I really do try hard to live in the moment. I certainly think that is the healthiest way to get the richness out of each day. Having written that though, it seems I am always hardening myself to what I am going to miss when something good comes to an end. I can remember an really odd moment during (probably) desert storm in the 1980s when I saw a handsome and healthy group of sailors at DisneyWorld on leave. They were having a wonderful time. I was sitting at a table with the family eating a hotdog and suddenly tears filled my eyes and my hotdog became a lump of clay in my throat because I thought about what they would soon be facing. I was embarrassed needless to say, and my husband tried to make light of it so that the kids wouldn't misunderstand.

I really try to be an upbeat person...I am sure that is what my family would say...

The Day Before Christmas

My birthday was the 21st and I went out to dinner with my family and that is where I think I caught this awful head cold. I spent the better part of the dinner wiping Xman's runny nose. In spite of this, he was on his best behavior and the dinner went very nicely and my fish dish was excellent. We ordered a chocolate waffle for dessert and almost couldn't finish it.

Last night the geese held one of their all night parties...due to the warm weather being brought up from the South I am guessing. They laughed and chatted and sang (honking with Christmas joy) until about 3:00. I got up to see what had silenced them and the moon was at its brightest and most lovely, casting strong shadows throughout the forest. It was almost as if daylight had begun!

I drifted back to sleep and in the early morning I set up one of my birthday gifts (a tripod) and went out on the deck and caught this photo of the late revelers heading out in an ever so dignified swim to the main part of the river just as the sun was peeking over the branches of the naked trees.

I am off now to finish the sticky buns for Christmas breakfast. We will have only my son this day as daughter is off to the in-laws for the holidays. My husband and I will be most mellow, but I am afraid that son will be bored to tears without his niece and nephew as buffers in the conversation. It will probably be like a Ben Stiller movie and I do hate those.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday and that your expectations are so small that they all come true.

Dangerous Love

There are those women (girls) that fall head-long into love as if it was an endless pillow of cotton candy. They jump in arms wide and mouth open. Even as they see they are sinking to a dangerous point of no return, they do not regret the loss of control and they continue that sweet roll. Not this chickie-poo. While it was intense when I fell in love in my youth, I still had my feet touching the ground and my head was reasonably clear. I sometimes wish I had been the free spirit, free falling type of woman. The lady with the laugh in her eyes and the never-look-back attitude. But, I think that while my passion was not as abandoned neither was my pain as endless.

I have always been able to do two things at one time and while I was studying that sparkle in his eyes and the softness of his lips, I also kept track of exactly where I was standing in this dance. Girls who remain in control of themselves are not as sexy. They also make clear early in the relationship that they have expectations and we all know that men do not like expectations. Most men remain little boys all of their lives. There are a few grown-ups in the XY line, but they are as hard to live with as us females. I do not regret that I was careful in my approach to life, but I do sometimes wish I could have led that other life in another dimension without all its painful consequences...those which would be manifesting themselves in twinging ways as I reach the age I am now.

Yet once again as I age, I have learned something about myself. Everyone has their price. I have fallen head-long in love with the two little humans above. I have jumped in arms wide and mouth open. None of my feelings are being reserved for logical thinking. I know that the pain will be devastating when I am thrown aside for their other loves. The rejection will require numbing medicine and lots of staring into space. But this love is an overpowering, potent,inescapable passion. And I am going along for the ride for as long as it lasts.

Memories -- long ago

I am having a number of deja vu moments as a grandmother living with my daughter. I am so happy for this experience, because we forget (I forget) so much of my past life as I plow through my current life of deadlines, dinner and diaper changing.

I had forgotten how rejecting my little girl was of her father in her early months due to my nursing. She wouldn't go to anyone at all because I was the sole source of sustenance. I would thrust her into her daddy's arms and tell him to just cope, because I had to start dinner! I knew she was fed and dry and I wanted some time without someone in my arms, so her crying didn't bother me all that much. But, it totally stressed our Daddy-o. He was that blue-eyed guy that was NOT used to being rejected.

Babies have excellent survival instincts. My daughter is also nursing her little gal and now at three months, Angel is rejecting all of us at most times. She will billow and coo until she realizes that she is not in her mother's arms and then her agony cannot be assuaged. I can calm her intermittently but I think that is because my voice and face remind her a little of mom and that confuses her enough to calm her for a few minutes.

I can already tell her personality is different from her brother's at this early age. She is very much a clinging girl. She likes to bury her face under my arm with her pacifier trying to shut out the world. She will nurse, pull off her mother's breast and then thrust her small face under Mom's arm and hide until she falls asleep. She also uses food to calm her every moment. Definately a 'food soothes' everything kid. She will probably have a weight problem growing up.

It is fun seeing the small parts of Angel that emerge each day. I have no time for myself at the end of the day as the result of living here, but this is a small sacrifice to be part of the lives of these very special people.

Design on a Crime (ouch)

The Scene: A basement family room.
The big screen TV sits firmly in the far corner, and the toddler’s toys are scattered from the side room well into the family room. The fairly new sectional in “Real Simple” gray blue style sits invitingly along part of one wall with a large matching soft cushion ottoman in front for plenty of foot resting.

Both toddler and baby are miraculously calm at the same time.

The Daughter and her Mother tentatively smooth the anticipation of actually participating in a conversation.

Daughter: “Mom look at this ottoman.”
Mother leans forward and sees a series of small brown dots. “What is it?”

Daughter: “Blood. From Dad working in the yard! Look over here on the seat!”

Mother leans to the side and sees a larger smudge that actually looks like blood, and she remembers why years ago she bought chocolate brown sofas for her family room.

Mother: “Oh,dear…Well you could let Xman crawl around when he skins his knees and thereby get a little modern matching pattern going on the fabric.”

Daughter, looking long and hard at mother. “Or I could just slit my wrists and let blood drip everywhere!”

Life on the Planet

I enjoyed my time in Williamsburg mostly because there was no agenda. The first two days my hubby and I just goofed off, enjoying not having any kind of schedule. We slept late and then went to bed late. When my daughter joined us with the littlest one several days later, the pace slowed down even more due to stopping for diaper changes and feedings.

Then the very next week daughter and her family headed to Orlando for time with the in-laws and some last minute Florida sun--the condo was paid for, so why not? Hubby headed down to the house and this left me with a week of time alone at my daughter's house between working. I did receive a call two days in from my daughter with the reminder to not set the alarm on the day the housekeeper worked, water the mums each day, take the garbage to the curb on Tuesday morning, pick up the mail and make sure the bags and boxes in the garage were also taken to the curb. (Just a few directives! I kind of felt a deja view like the roles had been reversed.)

But for the most part I was all alone, eating what I wanted when I wanted, watching what I wanted when I wanted...sort of a third dimension experience. I was totally laid back and not quite prepared for the re-entry,

Friday here was drenching rains and this weather made my normal 30 minute commute drag out to an hour and a half. Daughter and son-in-law returned with kids late on Friday. Two hours delayed due to the rains

Drifting Along with the Tumbling Tumbleweeds

I have no idea why I think the title above will relate to anything I feel like writing in this post...but it is what popped into my head like a stale piece of popcorn.

NO, no wine yet. Just aging stream of conscious writing.

We are awaiting the arrival of dinner guests (the kind that bring dinner because of the new baby.) I am really tired after work today, but both hubby and I are keeping our office clothes on and stifling yawns as one member of this dinner party may play a future role in my daughter's career in one way or another. I guess I feel lightheaded like a tumbling tumbleweed. The slightest air flow will carry me away.

In addition to the above I had called my son regarding some travel plans we have in October and found the following message on my cell:

"Hi...Mom. Just got your message. Just left the doctor's office. (pause) Don't know about October...yet... (pause) I have some projects. ....will be out of town this weekend...actually out of town on Saturday. (pause) Maybe I can join you the early part of the week in October....(pause) don't know yet. I guess I should drive out to see my sister and the new baby...(pause) (mumble mumble something)...still have that stupid cold...that's why I am at the doctor's office. (Pause) Don't want to give the baby my cold....(pause) (more mumbling)...well, guess that's all. ...hope you get this message. (pause) Love ya, .... bye."

I know that I did not raise him to be so rambling (tumbling) and incoherent. As hubby responded, "Hope he communicates better than that at work!"

The Good Spot

I have been so busy moving out of the apartment and packing 80% for down at the house and 20% for the next few months that I will be living in my daughter's basement. She is only 30 minutes from work...and I still have to work at the monkey house (another long story.)

There is a lesson here. Children, your parents may return! They may move in, actually, if you have a basement with a tiny bedroom, small kitchen and teeny weeny bathroom. But unlike family members who move back in with laundry, your parents will do their own laundry! They also work as free babysitters, allowing you to check your email or nurse your baby or take that well earned sitz bath at your leisure. Guess what, some of us even pay a token rent!!

As you will notice, your Daddy does the lawn, sweeps the driveway, picks up at day care and is great at BBQ.

Your mom, granny, allows small infants to throw up on her without flinching and can help with planning dinner and shopping. She is also great at playing with Thomas the Train for an hour before her head explodes. And at the age of 60, she can bend over and push a little plastic car around the park chasing her grandson as he pushes the other toddler car for quite a few laps. Of course, after a half dozen laps around the park, she looks a little hunched in the back area when she tries to stand upright. But does she complain about the pain? Never--unless you count that groan that scares the little poodle on the bike path.

Then like the good guests (hired help) that they are, they disappear on the weekends to their own place, so you are left to entertain the people of your generation who also have munchkins and talk about important things like reality TV and football.

In all honesty this little hiccup in our life has worked out far better than one would think. We are a help, we give them their space, and we contribute to costs. (Also, in another 'all honesty' hubby is having his challenges remembering to put every pen, pencil and laptop out of the reach of a toddler. He completely forgot to bring his laptop down this weekend as he had put it high on the mantel and ended up grabbing an empty backpack!)

In return, I have gotten so close to both grandchildren and fully realize how very very very rare and special this time is.