There are those women (girls) that fall head-long into love as if it was an endless pillow of cotton candy. They jump in arms wide and mouth open. Even as they see they are sinking to a dangerous point of no return, they do not regret the loss of control and they continue that sweet roll. Not this chickie-poo. While it was intense when I fell in love in my youth, I still had my feet touching the ground and my head was reasonably clear. I sometimes wish I had been the free spirit, free falling type of woman. The lady with the laugh in her eyes and the never-look-back attitude. But, I think that while my passion was not as abandoned neither was my pain as endless.
I have always been able to do two things at one time and while I was studying that sparkle in his eyes and the softness of his lips, I also kept track of exactly where I was standing in this dance. Girls who remain in control of themselves are not as sexy. They also make clear early in the relationship that they have expectations and we all know that men do not like expectations. Most men remain little boys all of their lives. There are a few grown-ups in the XY line, but they are as hard to live with as us females. I do not regret that I was careful in my approach to life, but I do sometimes wish I could have led that other life in another dimension without all its painful consequences...those which would be manifesting themselves in twinging ways as I reach the age I am now.
Yet once again as I age, I have learned something about myself. Everyone has their price. I have fallen head-long in love with the two little humans above. I have jumped in arms wide and mouth open. None of my feelings are being reserved for logical thinking. I know that the pain will be devastating when I am thrown aside for their other loves. The rejection will require numbing medicine and lots of staring into space. But this love is an overpowering, potent,inescapable passion. And I am going along for the ride for as long as it lasts.
what a wonderful and loving post! yep, you have been seduced, and you are smitten! ain't love grand?! happy holidays to you and yours. by the way, those kiddos are gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteAWWWW That brought a tear to my eye!! I wish I could fall headlong into something like that. DO grand dogs count?
ReplyDeleteWell, who could blame you? They are precious to behold!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I was one of those fall too far gals, and the pain was endless, as you said.
You made the hair stand up on my arms. How can you not fall for those cherubs. I RELATE!
ReplyDeleteHUGS
I always try to lead while dancing.
ReplyDeleteI felt this coming and the build up was sweet. I fell in love that way with my own sons. So I'm hearing it can happen again. Good. I'm ready!
I appreciate the analogy, and yet it breaks down a bit in a merciful way in that you EXPECT to be left behind by these little ones when they grow up and gravitate away from family and toward peers. You EXPECT them to leave home and marry some day. But falling in love with a partner or boyfriend or mate, we never go in with that expectation, so we go in whole-hog. So I like this later-life love; I think it can't be as perilous as sexual love, and that knowledge can be very freeing.
ReplyDeleteOr am I just naive?
Whoops! Forgot to identify myself, above, as ML of Full Fathom Five.
ReplyDeleteMary, I think that we do not expect to be left behind when falling in love with an adult mate...but we must keep in mind that there are many ways that it can happen including health changes, financial changes, personality changes, etc. I guess I am a pragmatist and realize that there are no guarantees in life and we must be prepared to be able to stand on our own two feet when those we love move on, either willingly or unwillingly.
ReplyDeleteThey're adorable. This is a beautiful photo Tabor. Surely as their smitten grandmother you'll always have a place in their hearts. Aren't we drawn to those who love us unconditionally? Rest assured, they'll love you back and will probably want to visit with you whenever possible.
ReplyDeleteGrandchildren are the best treasure of all!
I wish you a wonderful Christmas with your family!
Such gorgeous kiddies. Wow.
ReplyDeleteI can't really say I know how you feel since my kids are still attached to my hip most days (and my oldest is still willing to hold my hand in public, which still melts my heart).
ReplyDeleteI just read The Giving Tree to my son a while ago. I totally thought of you, and perhaps the relationship a parent or grandparent might have with a child. I think your grandkids will continue to reciprocate the attention and love you are giving them, just because it looks like they have been raised to do just that. :)