Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Memories -- long ago

I am having a number of deja vu moments as a grandmother living with my daughter. I am so happy for this experience, because we forget (I forget) so much of my past life as I plow through my current life of deadlines, dinner and diaper changing.

I had forgotten how rejecting my little girl was of her father in her early months due to my nursing. She wouldn't go to anyone at all because I was the sole source of sustenance. I would thrust her into her daddy's arms and tell him to just cope, because I had to start dinner! I knew she was fed and dry and I wanted some time without someone in my arms, so her crying didn't bother me all that much. But, it totally stressed our Daddy-o. He was that blue-eyed guy that was NOT used to being rejected.

Babies have excellent survival instincts. My daughter is also nursing her little gal and now at three months, Angel is rejecting all of us at most times. She will billow and coo until she realizes that she is not in her mother's arms and then her agony cannot be assuaged. I can calm her intermittently but I think that is because my voice and face remind her a little of mom and that confuses her enough to calm her for a few minutes.

I can already tell her personality is different from her brother's at this early age. She is very much a clinging girl. She likes to bury her face under my arm with her pacifier trying to shut out the world. She will nurse, pull off her mother's breast and then thrust her small face under Mom's arm and hide until she falls asleep. She also uses food to calm her every moment. Definately a 'food soothes' everything kid. She will probably have a weight problem growing up.

It is fun seeing the small parts of Angel that emerge each day. I have no time for myself at the end of the day as the result of living here, but this is a small sacrifice to be part of the lives of these very special people.

3 comments:

  1. I envy that. My youngest is almost 8 and my arms long for a baby to cuddle! One of mine used to bury her head to sleep too.

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  2. Tabor,
    thaks you so very much for your kind comment. My blog isn't usually that depressing, I just am down right now. It is sacrry when things change suddenly. I look foward to adding you to my favorites!

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  3. Sounds like my youngest, the cuddler. Though now that she's 2, she's the one who is such a delight to be around simply because she loves to eat as much as I do so most nights it's the two of us still left at the dinner table stuffing our faces.

    Funny how those instincts are... my in-laws never breastfed so they never quite understood why baby didn't want to be away from mom. My own mom had to forfeit wearing her perfume because the babies hated it. :)

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