Privilege Has Its Price

My grandchildren are very privileged and we will certainly reap the problems of that in years to come, but their joy is an immediate reward.  During our week in Long Boat Key, Florida, they went to the Seafood Fest for face painting and carnival rides; they went to a zoological garden to feed animals and watch a bird show; they challenged their parents at putt-putt golf, spent days at the pool and the beach, and did Disney World as only toddlers can.  They even spent an afternoon at the children's science museum--G-Whiz.  During 'down' times they watched videos, were read stories and we even squeezed in an Easter egg hunt!  Very different than my childhood vacations which usually consisted of reading comic books under the tree on the farm after I had finished my chores.  There are pros and cons to both life styles, I guess.

We are working hard to make this gal a nature lover. But, in all fairness, the flamingo birds were much taller than her!  She did get a kick out of their pretty 'pink' color which is her favorite, of course.  Below the lights of my life  are filling the moat to the castle with water...at least attempting this challenge.

Above my little gal gossips about Ariel with Belle at Disney World.  If you don't know who Belle is, than you are definitely not a Fairy Tale aficionado and must get with the program.

Ugh!

It can be a perfectly new and untarnished spring morning with so much potential. You can be blissfully sipping coffee and innocently checking quickly for emails and totally unprepared for that hard sucker punch in the gut from someone you love more than life itself. You are suddenly feeling so small and bewildered, and then the day becomes very different and the coffee very acidic.



(This has nothing to do with my prior post.)

Difference of Opinion

Before we left for Florida I got to spend snow time with my two most favorite little munchkins.  One child loves the snow and we couldn't get him inside until the sun started going down.  The other one as you can see, not so much!

I guess that is why we call her The Princess!

The Catbird Seat

Since we got this bird theme going I will continue in that vein.  This is where I am on certain days, the catbird seat.  Days that I visit my grandchildren I am definitely in the Catbird Seat.  The grandchildren are of that age where they will race away from the dinner table to stand in the doorway allowing cold winter winds to blow around them and into the house as they wait excitedly for us to unload the car, bring in our stuff, and hug them.

The Princess has gotten new plastic shoes that sparkle blue in the dark and both she and her brother, the Prince, each had a shoe in their hand which they would wave high over their heads from the porch doorway while they screamed our names jumping up and down with glee.  Yes, this is actual glee which is not often seen at least by me in real life.  It is very, very cool, especially when you are the cause of it.  I do not remember getting quite so much glee from my own children, now that I think about it.


If this is not the catbird seat, I do not not know where that would be.  I know that the days are not far away when these children will barely raise their eyes from a television screen or a phone screen or a computer screen to greet us with a quick smile. Precious time races on.


As I enter the house, I am trying to avoid the ice patch on the walkway and trying to hang onto the two bags I have packed and trying not to knock over the two toddlers who cannot get any closer to my legs as they try to get my undivided attention.  I am being very careful.  One heavy bag has the gift of blood oranges and ice melt, both pretty heavy, for my daughter and the other has my overnight things.  As I set down the bags, I begin to hear the endless musical blend of toddler chatter...

"Neena, (that is the name they call me) we have pork chops and beans for dinner and Princess has these new shoes-look at me walk in my shoes and the lights go bong!-come see my ball with the arms which spring open if it gets attacked or if a rock falls on it like this it just goes CRASH and rolls onto the floor-I know that 3 and 3 are six and 3 and 4 are seven-Daddy is at the hockey game-I have ants on my pajamas-I have candy on my pajama pants-we have your plate at the table-see here is your fork-are you coming to my show tomorrow?-I can brush Tinker Bell's hair with this new brush-see, Neena, see-do you want me to brush your hair?-are your sleeping in this room or downstairs?-what is that green thing in your bag?-I have to go pee-pee..."
Since these little ones are talking non-stop I fail to hear any breathing between phrases and just let the words fall about my ears like colored gum drops as I smile and kiss and oooh and ahh in all the right places.
I could sit on this Catbird perch forever.

You Cannot Choose Your In-laws

My life is too short to worry about the views of others and the choices made by my adult children and minds that cannot be changed.  Anyway, my daughter was far into the relationship with my then-to-be S.I.L. before I had even met him.  But I have grown to love him in spite of our substantial differences.

He is a good Catholic (I will not even dwell on my prejudicial fears there..fears about the religion not the people) but my daughter said he did not expect her to convert.  He got a point from me for that.

He is very good looking, well groomed and extremely well-mannered.  He gets points for that although I think he does spend a little too much time on appearances.  (He even gave my 4-year-old grandson a brief lecture on the various ways hair gel can create a look before the pre-school holiday program!)  In balance, he does run and exercise to keep in shape and while vain, it means he will remain healthy into old age.

He is romantic beyond words and loves his children and wife with a passion and gets lots of points for that.

He is hard-working and a good provider and gets points for that.

He has longstanding loyal and honest friends which attests to his character.

He spends too much of his free time either playing golf, watching football or playing fantasy football on the computer...but all people have their vices and his does not involve alcohol or other women.

I did get a clue about some of our basic differences when he tried to shut off the skylight in the bathroom until my daughter explained what a skylight was!

I got another clue about our differences when he told my daughter that he felt we were somewhat prejudiced because we valued higher education so much.  (He doesn't read anything unless it is on a computer screen or in Entertainment Magazine.)

I got another clue when my daughter explained his surprise that she had such strong ethical rules and honesty standards (stronger than his) even though she did not attend church on a regular basis. (This was after he hit a car while attempting to park several spaces ahead and slightly damaging the other car's side mirror.)

I got a clue when we learned he was an ardent Republican and totally had no passion for environmental issues.  He also thought our prior president was pretty smart.

One more clue was provided recently when he told my daughter he thought we were a little strange for taking in an injured wild bird and then spending the time to drive 3o miles to a rescue shelter. 

But the final clarity of how deeply we were different came when he noticed the number of cookbooks on the shelf in my kitchen and asked why more than just one or two would ever be needed.  My life will always be spicier and more interesting and perhaps I can add just a little spice to his life.

I do think that differences in people are what help the world go round and help test our values and beliefs.  We just have to realize we cannot change people and we can only change ourselves.  (It has taken me almost my full life to learn how to live this!)


These two young people do make a well-matched couple as was in evidence when they were visiting their friends over the New Year's weekend.  They were staying up late playing cards, when the mistress of the house where they were staying saw a tiny gray mouse dart under her refrigerator and proceeded to scream in panic as she jumped on the couch.  My S.I.L. followed in like manner and with the same panic stood on a nearby chair.  My daughter and the man of the house got a broom and bucket in an unsuccessful attempt to corner the little free-loader.  There is a pattern and balance to life that works out in the end.

Style Maven, NOT

Among the many gifts brought home from my husband's recent trip to Indonesia was the silk batik fabric below.  It was a gift from the people he was assisting.  It is supposed to be used for making a shirt.  It is so lovely and since I no longer sew, we will have to find someone who can turn this into something usable and something to show off.  Maybe a blouse for me?

Below is a photo taken on the "short-sleeve shirt" side of my husband's closet.  You can tell from the aloha shirts and the multicolored shirts that he has Pacific and Asian tastes.  At first glance, one might think that he was gay.  Well, he is gay, very gay...but not that way.  He is a strong man, secure in his manhood to be able to wear this stuff.  He actually was once a hunter and lifts weights and does SCUBA.  I wonder what Queer Eye for the Straight Guy would say about THIS closet inventory?

Crystal Ball Gazing

There are moments when you are given the magical power to look into a crystal ball.  You can see into the future just as if you were there already.  You can see the images in the ball more clearly if your eyes are cloudy with age.  Taking this photo of my 2-year-old granddaughter was one of those moments.  Look out world, here she comes.

After Slowing Down

Well, here is the follow-up. It rained ceaselessly the whole evening. My son and I did get lost and he had a GPS on his phone...he is just a bad navigator telling you about a turn as you miss it! We also discovered that there are TWO places in the area with very similar names and we had headed to the wrong one. We still made it to the Keb Mo show on time. Food was awful as it always is at that theatre but it is intimate seating and so you feel close to the stage. On the way back to drop him off I did goof and turned onto a one-way street, but since the traffic was thin at 11:00 P.M., we survived that screw-up as well. AND as you can surmise from this post, I did make it back out of the city, but the drive was somewhat tense as pouring rain and glaring headlights meant I had to really concentrate the whole hour and a half on the way home. It was worth it to head bob with Keb Mo and to sit with my son.

Too Much Information or Not Enough?

Most bloggers do not write about their family. It is personal stuff and you have to be very honest and out front with your life once you begin. I am anonymous just so that I can write about people who, I hope, will also remain anonymous while I try to sort out their lives.

You will realize from this post that my family, while loving and generous of spirit, are terrible communicators. They tend to avoid the painful reality of life. It might be because they know that we cannot do anything about the painful decisions of others or it might be that sharing doesn't really ease their concerns, or perhaps they are embarrassed by the "perfect" lives that they think all the rest of us have. All of these people I have learned about below, are not blood relatives...not that that makes any difference.

I learned on this past family trip the following news. Some of it was explained only after embarrassing comments on my part because I did not know what the H*** was going on!.

My step-niece (who has no health insurance and no husband) thought she was pregnant, thought she miscarried three months later, then gave birth to a baby in her mother's house, all alone one afternoon early this summer. She had been raised on a horse farm and actually explained to me all the precautions she took, including adjusting for the fact that the water heater pilot light had broken that morning, in order to deliver this baby all by herself! The child was born safely for the mother (28 years old). After a helicopter flight to the hospital when the child had trouble breathing they discovered that the child has an incomplete brain and is missing part of the back lobes. This appears to be a genetic disorder that will mean my step-niece should not have any other children. There are those who know only too well all the terrible issues with this situation. All I know is that currently the child is off of oxygen and is eating and growing and is very precious. This mother's life has changed forever. The father of this child has four children in a current marriage and an illegitimate child from another relationship. TMI.

My step-niece's brother, a marine just back from Iraq, was goofing around with other marines this past spring and appears to have ruptured a disk and now requires spinal fusion. Thus his life is now also changed forever, probably ending his hope to enter the police force when he is released from service.

My other step-nephew from another family came with his 7-year-old daughter to a family BBQ and it wasn't until later in the evening that someone bothered to mention he has been divorced for over a year. That was when I stopped asking him if his wife was working late!

All of the rest of the gang seems to be living reasonably normal lives with normal challenges.

My Husband's Non-Wicked Step Sisters

I reunited with them both again a few months ago when we attended my husband's S.I.L.'s funeral. They had aged...probably they seemed much older to me because they were a decade and some years older than I already.

They are like opposite sides of the same coin of womanhood. I have met them on and off in years past but was so wrapped up in my own family and my travels that I did not really see them. One of the wonders of aging is you get clarity of mind vision. Actual vision becomes blurry, but that is to ones' advantage because then you can see the reality of life much better.

They were daughters from my husband's father's first marriage. It was a marriage of wealth and unfaithfulness and ended badly. So badly that no one mentioned the name of the first wife in my F.I.L's presence. Mary was the youngest daughter from this union and the dark haired one with the hour glass figure. When she reached her teenage years she was compared to Elizabeth Taylor and from photos I have seen she did resemble her. Sally, her older sister, was the thin and blonder version. She had freckles and looked like the farm girl next door. She was also the thinner thinker. Sally loved to laugh and her laughter was contagious.

Mary went on to marry a man of the 1950's era. Who knows what drove him and also what devils haunted him. This was an era of cocktails and arguments. Devout Catholics they had five children between them. Four girls and a boy. Mary's husband left her in the lurch with all five shortly after that and actually settled on an island in the Caribbean where his drinking was the norm rather than something which caused heated arguments. Mary's children never saw him except for the son who became an adult and sought him out as male children need to do when fathers are an enigma. Mary was blessed with a good brain and devotion to her children. She worked very ,very hard making all those standard sacrifices, and in time, worked her way up to managing an important office in the State government. Her children each became successful in their own way and were loyal to her. When I saw her at the funeral she was overweight and arthritis was compromising her ability to stand for any length of time. But I saw that spark of intelligence in her eyes that had helped her survive the burden life had given her. I saw that energy in her dark eyes that had been the heat that burned her whole life like an excellent warm brandy. For some reason she made a connection with me.

I had seen Sally more often in my trips to my husband's side of the family. She had married, divorced, re-married the same man and then buried him when he died of throat cancer. He had been a heavy smoker, as many were during that era. Their marriage was more like the Taylor-Burton love. It was loyal but painful. She was like bubbles in champagne and actually became lovelier as she aged. She wasn't smart and sometimes couldn't follow an intense conversation. She dated often in her elder years and I think it was because she was such a fragile butterfly that elder men could not resist her. She married a third time to a shyster who gave the impression he was an architect. I had met him and he was quite smart and handsome. She figured out her mistake within the year and this was followed by an expensive divorce.

As she reached her early 80's she met a retired airline pilot. They fell in love and she married once again. I met him and both my husband and I liked him but noticed his aging memory lapses. He seemed to be in his late 80's. Both he and Sally continue to travel all over the world including a honeymoon in China where they sent photographs of themselves in elaborate Chinese costume. They recently flew to England to participate in the dedication of an airline museum. Sally is just as ditsy as ever, but now people think it is due to old age.

Both stories are the kind that could make a movie. Their lives are like yours and mine in some ways, but to me so much more interesting than mine.

I Am a Surprise, My Grandaughter Seeps, and My Grandson...well!

My grandson told me the other day that his mother said he had three surprises waiting for him when he climbed into the car from pre-school and two of them were people. I looked at him with a questioning frown and said "People??" He looked up at me with those warm brown eyes and silly smile and said "Yes, you and Doc!" Doc is what he calls his grandfather and we had just arrived that evening to spend the night. I like being a surprise even better than being surprised.

My granddaughter woke up from her deep night's sleep the first morning after her visit and called out to me, "Neena!" "Neena!" When I opened the door to the room where she had been sleeping she peered at me through the mass of hair hanging in front of her eyes and smiled. "I seeping!" she said. (I think she meant sleeping, but she also seeps when she sleeps if you know what I mean.)

While racing through the Wal-Mart yesterday toward the toy section with my 4-year-old grandson to select the 'promised' toy, we had to go past the women's lingerie section. There at the end of the aisle was a 'full' display of padded bras in bright colors with ribbons and lace. Xman could not stop himself (what male can?) and running to the display actually pinched the middle of one bra cup and with a gleam in his eyes smiled up at me and said "Boobies!" (Remember, he is 4!) This precocious 4-year-old has already asked the anatomy questions on the difference between boys and girls to his pre-school teacher and she had to send a 'smiling' note home to the parents to explain that she had referred these anatomy questions to them. (My daughter is saving the note.)

Next weekend my step- nephew who is in his 20's is visiting us with his new girlfriend...whom his parents have not yet met. Therefore I have strict instructions to keep my eyes open and tell them everything as well as take pictures because they think the pictures on his Facebook page are not good enough! I must put on my spy cloak, I guess. At least I have not been requested to deal with anatomy answers or sleeping arrangements!

Interregnum

A lovely sunset last night on the river

I have been thinking much more lately of my parents. I try not to miss that they are gone and that I no longer have time to build a closer relationship with them. Perhaps it is the pictures of my childhood that I have retrieved that is pushing me on this backward journey. In several photos my mother is younger than I am today...that grabs my mind and heart and makes me a little dizzy. She looks fresh and happy. I do not remember her that way. I know that if she was in front of me right now we would get off on one of those stilted conversations where she makes me feel less than I am. One of those conversations where she is the grand martyr and I am the self-centered daughter. I love(d) her, but she could be an energy sump to be with. I am trying to accept the flow of the river of time. If I dwell too long I make myself sad and that doesn't accomplish anything.

There is a common idea that if we could go back in time we might better appreciate the moments with the wisdom we have since gained. Well, I realize that is a fallacy. I am watching my grandchildren grow and change like cornstalks in the field after a rain. I am aware of the moments when I am with them and I appreciate every second, but time still rushes on by and they still are growing and changing faster than I can deeply grasp. It is not about wisdom gained with experience. It is about realizing that we cannot slow down time. We cannot pace our lives as we wish. Having time to reflect and understand only helps a little. We still will make mistakes and have regrets no matter how wise we have become.

Life is like a river. It rushes dangerously fast in some places, then goes slowly and peacefully (or dully) in others. We are just along for the ride and try though we might, we miss much stuff in communication and relationships and understanding how others are truly feeling. We try to put ourselves in their place, but the river quickly pushes us on to somewhere else and we must process all over again that new color in the water and that new ripple.

I guess that there are people who know this truth most of their life. They do not waste time second guessing a decision or a relationship. But, I think for most of us, it is a crazy journey and we cannot really see the destination as well as we would like. It is a far way ahead and it will be whatever it is when we get there. We hope that we will understand it and recognize its meaning, and find it is something we can accept but hope is all we get at this turn in the river.

Rejuvenation

Retired and being in a rut can happen quite easily I think. It was time for us to try something challenging...at least challenging to two old f***s who spent most of their time avoiding anything edgy. We needed something to do that was out of the safety zone.

The directions on the website said that a table had to be reserved ahead of time if one expected to sit during the show(s), otherwise it was 'first come first served.' Reserving a table cost $10 per person and IF you sat at this table you had to order at least $10 worth of food per person...not counting drinks. We wanted to sit as close to the dance floor as possible with the best view and so put out the big bucks. The email said the doors opened at 7:00 PM and we needed to be there by 7:45 so they would not give away our 'reserved' table. They also said if you left your drink you may find your drink gets taken away...since 18 and 19 year-olds were allowed inside. So many rules I felt like I was back in college. I don't think college has any rules these days, does it? When we got there, the tickets I picked up at the will-call window said the doors did not open until 8:00 PM. Great, now we had an hour to kill. We went next door and ate some shrimp.

Finally 8:00 arrived. My son and a few band members came by to chat. We sat down and ordered our drinks and food and as the first band rocked out we put in our foam ear plugs that my son had gotten at the bar. He mentioned something about OSHA requiring them to be available...who knew? (I still had ringing in my ears when I got home though.)

The first band to play was a group of 20 somethings with a cultured nerdy look, glasses and button down shirts and big clunky shoes. Perhaps the look wasn't cultured as when the band called their fans down to the dance floor...the fans stood like cigar store Indians each with their style statement beer in one hand and facing the players. Not a toe tap or a head bob among them. One young lady about 290 pounds and 5 foot 8 inches had her arms around another young lady who couldn't have weighed more than 90 pounds even in wet clothes and who stood just over 4 feet tall. They seemed to like each other very much, but not enough to sway to the music. Another couple was a fawn like girl in a short skirt and black top and her cute and small boyfriend who kept his hand lightly on the small of her back with extreme self-consciousness. Boy did this take me back to that time of awkward sex that must have been a part of my life so long ago. The rest of the fans looked like computer repair folks.

As the band ended, the crowd had started to grow and the tables were filled by the second band. I looked around the room and guessed that the age level had increased by about two years. This band was trying very hard. They had a marketing guru for lead singer as he got tried to get the crowd to chant out the name of the theatre/bar as a gesture of thanks. I will give them credit for trying hard as he really seemed to be enjoying his role and at least their fans did a little head bobbing.

Finally my son's band was up to play. They were the coolest of course. The fans filled the floor. Only one cover was played and all the rest original --- lyrics and music mostly written and composed by my son. I am prejudiced, I know, but he is very talented. The fans were jumping and clapping and enjoying themselves without being intoxicated. One gal was there in a short little dress and my favorite style statement, cowboy boots. Her date, oddly, was in a suit and tie, but my daughter explained he had probably come straight from work. There were the traditional cleavage and bare waist girls and the guys in faded T-shirts. I knew a few as friends of my son from high school, and others looked familiar.

I looked around the room and at one side table sat a small group of parents, very straight looking with their short gray haircuts and conservative dress. (No, I was not looking at a mirror on the far wall!) I knew they must be parents of the members of the band that I didn't know. They looked a little pained as I guess this music was not quite their thing. It was like a Meet the Parents moment with the expression on their faces of trying hard to 'get this.'

We head-bobbed and toe-tapped and I didn't get back to my daughter's house until after midnight. It was exhausting but also rejuvenating as I hadn't hung with a cool crowd in years. I am playing that great music from the band's website as I write this.

PS: (If you are brave enough to listen go here: My favs are "Arsonist" and "Everybody Knows")

That Look

Remember that look that your mother gave you when you had stepped out of line? Remember that look that said 'I am NOT going to wait until your father gets home, kiddo!' It is the look of the 'all-woman/all-mother.' It is the look of fearless strength and defense-to-the-death attitude that women keep deep in the essence of their being. It is the look that clearly sends the message, "Don't make me go there." Well, it looks as though my granddaughter is already beginning to master that look.


And, of course, as every good grandmother knows, the best toys do not come from 'Toys R Us' or any other toy store.

Greener Grass

We are back from the Tampa/St.Petersburg area in Florida. The tourist season is slow and the tourist beaches were not crowded. The daily to weekly rental places were busy, but the rental houses and condos were all empty.

We spent a Friday morning in St. Petersburg and were surprised to see the contrast in activity from our nearby city. The streets were quiet and parking was easy to find. Downtown Tampa was not much busier. Clearly the recession is here.

While we were happy to see many relatives from my husband's family we also were reminded about the difference in culture of the area. One of hubby's nephews is 55 and drives a florist truck for a living (his fourth career move) and another is living in subsidized housing at the age of 58 and has been drug and alcohol free finally for a year. Their children (adults) also seem to have no interest in anything other than hanging out while drifting from job to job.

The wife of one of the nephews brags that she has been a bartender at the same hotel bar for over 30 years. Several of the youngest are also divorced or working on their third marriage. None of this means they are terrible people. It is just a culture that my husband and I are not a part of. I do not denigrate this blue-color culture but the transient nature of the work means that no one really develops a skill...except for making drinks. It seems that the warmth and easy living of Florida does not encourage motivation to better oneself beyond a string of retail jobs. It was also a little bit of a surprise that the more successful members of the family did not cross the state to pay their respects.

You cannot pick your relatives and we all come from the same ancestral tree and they were all very polite.

This photo below is the famous Sunshine Bridge that crosses Tampa Bay. Many years ago a barge hit one of the supports to this bridge and it was shut down for some time.


Below is a photo I took in the park across the street from the art museum in the city. It turned out pretty balanced in composition and it actually might make a nice poster...no?

Florida temperatures were in the 90's and the days were very humid and we spent much time searching for shade...even at the beach. It is good to get back to the 70 degree weather here and to try and catch up on blog reading.

Magnetic Personality

I am married to someone with a magnetic personality. He can stand in line waiting for tickets to the movie theater and come across an old long lost friend. He can be picking up a cup of chai tea at a Starbucks and meet and make a new friend. I didn't really think about this much until I retired and I realized how low key I am in public and how energy high he is. I am not complaining except I know that if he was in a field other than science we would be very rich by now. He is a born salesman and if it something he believes in...look out!

Years ago, my husband and I traveled to Korea for work-related activities. During the project he actually was briefly on Korean national TV talking about the work he was doing.

Later in the trip we did manage to take a few days off and play tourist. While touring one of the historic parks in the city of Seoul we stopped in the cafeteria for some quick refreshment and were approached by the three Korean college students in the photos above. While their accents were thick they did appear to know enough English ( and certainly more Korean than I) to communicate with us very well. They were working on a project where they had to find people and interview them. I think they were communication majors.

Naturally they instantly decided to interview my husband instead of me. He was the better pick as he can talk for hours on end about almost anything and when the subject is himself he can go on for days. They wanted to know what he was doing in Korea and how long he would stay, etc. As I look as these photos, I wonder what grade they got and if they did go on to work in television.

Do you know someone with a magnetic personality?

The Fixer

I did not get enough sleep last night. I was busy "fixing things" or trying to fix things:

I thought about fixing my son's relationship with women so that he has a stable relationship with one and gets married.

I thought about fixing my daughter's job so that she likes it more and doesn't have the worry of being fired at the end of the month hanging over her head.

I thought about fixing the spoiled attitude my Xman seems to be getting with everyone falling all over themselves to keep him happy.

I thought about fixing my age so that I don't have the worry of poor health hanging over me that we all will face as our bodies decline sooner or later.

I thought about fixing the automatic gate to the deer fence as the solar panel (or battery) does not seem to be working.

I thought about fixing my retirement investments and actually studying the statements instead of hiding them the minute they come in.

I thought about fixing the departures of my dear departed middle sister, my dear departed dad and my departed mom, wondering if I could have done something more when they were alive.

I thought about bloggers I had gotten close to who have passed away just as quickly as they appeared in my life.

About 3:30 I finally fell asleep.

This morning I was like a crazy woman cleaning the floors, washing the throw rugs, getting hubby to clean out the fireplace, going over the bathrooms with a detailed cleaning. I know this energy today is to assure myself that there is at least one thing I can fix.

Thursday Thoughts #24---Exhausted

Thoughts after an extended weekend with immediate and distant family:

• Legos are still fascinating toys but involve tiny detailed work! And, of course, Tabor still follows the directions and her projects look like the picture on the box!
• Hubby does not follow directions (as you will recall in a prior post) and he skipped an important step in putting together the birthday plastic basketball kit and was told in no uncertain terms by son-in-law that he would have appreciated a more organized approach. One is a biology major and one an accounting major...can you guess which is which?
• My son was at the birthday party and when we hugged good-bye he told me he loved me! OMG was I in heaven for days.
• This big party for my favorite 4-year-old's birthday was a bowling party where they used regular bowling balls and no one broke a toe or mashed anything! I don't recall any strikes being made either. Kind of gives you a feel for this recession when they allow 4-year-olds to drop bowling balls on these nice alleys.
  
• A new experience for me was having a 4-year-old I didn't know sit in my lap at the birthday party while I pushed the accelerator and he did the driving on a video game at the bowling alley. We wiped out a ton of stuff!
• I had Xman the first three days after his party down at the house and am totally wiped...!
• 4-year-olds cannot eat at the table or play games on the computer unless all four appendages are moving around like crazy at all times. This leads to your dinner plate being moved while you are eating as the table slides away and your computer DVD loader opening and closing as little toes keep kicking the button!! You have to be a pretty sharp grandparent to keep up. (I learned the last day, if you are eating at a small drop leaf table, this toe tapping leads to the drop leaf dropping and Xman's entire plate hitting the floor and shattering into a half dozen pieces!)
• I taught Xman about collecting colored rocks on the beach and putting them in his pocket. He asked if I was sure he could put rocks in his pocket and I said "SURE, always!" (I am a sneaky little grandma.)
• We also were the first for the new season to have him take off his shoes and socks and walk on the beach and actually wade in the cold bay water. He loved it.
• I made a promise to hubby that I was no longer going on international trips just because others wanted me to, and instead, my money was being saved for my next big trip in the coming year to somewhere I really wanted to go. But recently I have been asked to fly to South America to babysit grandchildren for a wedding over Thanksgiving (on my dime of course) and my SIL wants me to join them on their annual trip to Denmark this fall. I love them both and am going to have the courage to say 'no.' (help me...)
• Sky asked about my gray hair decision and you will just have to wait until I get back from the cruise...too busy to elaborate. And Tammy, bless her heart, actually wants pictures of the cruise!!
  
• Tied into my 360 degree prior post, the Italy earthquake was very near the area where some of my ancestors were born and raised...very globally intense and thought provoking as I saw people that looked like my Dad when I visited years ago.
  
• This will be my final post for a number of days as I will be heading out on a ship with animals with large noses and big ears. Everyone together now...awwww, gee!
  

Recent Email Received From Daughter

"Did I tell you how thankful I am that you are coming. My life in insane right now. Xman still needs to make two more valentines by Friday...all the parents are volunteering (not my idea but I didn't want to be rude and be the only to not help out) to throw a surprise breakfast and lunch for the teachers at CHMS (read below). I volunteered to make a breakfast casserole..so sometime tonight i have to throw that together..then get up at 6:15 am to put it in the oven ...and then it has to be dropped off on Friday morning at 7:30am for bfast. Then Xman needs to be dropped off by 8:50am. So we will have to talk and see what make sense. I think I might be on an 8 or 9am flight to NY and then on a 3 or 4 pm flight home."

I think I remember those days...she is a Type A like me...but I don't ever remember trying to squeeze in a business trip to NY!

The Gene Pool

When this little gal was born all her elders played that familiar guessing game of who she took after. Many of us agreed that she looked very much like her paternal grandfather who is a handsome, sometimes funny, and usually simple and conservative man. But I am of the opinion that looks don't count for everything and children frequently become a blend of their elders good and bad characteristics. Therefore, I sometimes look for something of myself in her eager personality and activities.

My daughter took the photos below while I was playing a game with my grandson. As you can see, the gardener in me seems to have inspired the gardener in her. I am hoping this is a sign of the future where we can plant and cut flowers, grow and taste the freshest of vegetables, and perhaps, create little garden rooms of imagination and fantasy.