I did not get enough sleep last night. I was busy "fixing things" or trying to fix things:
I thought about fixing my son's relationship with women so that he has a stable relationship with one and gets married.
I thought about fixing my daughter's job so that she likes it more and doesn't have the worry of being fired at the end of the month hanging over her head.
I thought about fixing the spoiled attitude my Xman seems to be getting with everyone falling all over themselves to keep him happy.
I thought about fixing my age so that I don't have the worry of poor health hanging over me that we all will face as our bodies decline sooner or later.
I thought about fixing the automatic gate to the deer fence as the solar panel (or battery) does not seem to be working.
I thought about fixing my retirement investments and actually studying the statements instead of hiding them the minute they come in.
I thought about fixing the departures of my dear departed middle sister, my dear departed dad and my departed mom, wondering if I could have done something more when they were alive.
I thought about bloggers I had gotten close to who have passed away just as quickly as they appeared in my life.
About 3:30 I finally fell asleep.
This morning I was like a crazy woman cleaning the floors, washing the throw rugs, getting hubby to clean out the fireplace, going over the bathrooms with a detailed cleaning. I know this energy today is to assure myself that there is at least one thing I can fix.
I have finally learned that there are some things you just can't fix.
ReplyDeleteSleepless nights are maddening, but they don't give me the energy that you displayed this morning. I didn't get enough sleep last night either, but I am now getting drowsy and don't have time to catch more zzzz's because I have a guest coming for lunch. I hope I can stay awake for that.
Thanks for your thoughts. This could be my list. Last night at our weekly family dinner someone kindly pointed out that trying figure out how to help someone else take care of their health, ratty job, lousy girl friends, was a slow train to despair. But still we/I want to, I try not to worry but some nights are like that. I get up in the middle of the night to wash the kitchen floor, fold laundry,etc. the only stuff I have any hoping of resolving for a time. I know I'm not the only one but it's oddly comforting to know I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI don't drink, as a rule....but I think that series of thoughts would suggest a few quick belts might be just the ticket. Oh, wait, did I just try to fix something?
ReplyDeleteDo not worry about the things over which you have NO control.
ReplyDeleteThis post sounded like me. My list would be similar with some more added. I really cannot fix any of it.
ReplyDeleteI used to relive my work shifts...maybe if I had of done this rather than that..Now I forget what happened that day...one good thing of the memory going some. I am a fixer, and will not ask for help until I am about to go under. Instead of working with cleaning the place I just sit, and think some more..
ReplyDeleteTabor, I think you fix more things than you know. Many times I've had a less than great day and I read your blog in the course of the evening, and your stories or thoughts - whatever it was that day - fixed me, by bringing something funny, thoughtful, interesting, introspective, mind-boggling, or just plain inspiring into my life.
ReplyDeleteYou are incredible woman and thanks for the fixing you've done for me.
Oh Lord, I do really hate nights like you had!!! I absolutely do not function well without some sleep---and cleaning like you did? ROFL Hun un! Now, since you have yours all cleaned up, I would love to have you come and spend a few sleepless nights at Ships Landing (and of course I would want you to feel free to clean and clear out here too) LOL. Hope you night is better tonight. :)
ReplyDeleteAh Ha Little Ms Fixit aren't you. ;)
ReplyDeletewhile you are at it how about fixing the sorry state of our economy.
That is a big fixer upper.
:)
I think I do this more at work. I tend to stick my 2 cents worth into a lot of helpdesk tickets as I try to fix problems.
ReplyDeleteFor now, my daughter still seems to want my input. I can see this changing as she gets older.
Sounds like I'm not alone in my middle of night Mrs. Fixit mad cleaning binders. Learning to back off a bit and just let some things be is a work in progress for me.
ReplyDeleteI so relate to this! My list is a little different but the thinking about it till the wee hours is exactly the same.
ReplyDeleteIs it Spring fever? The things that need some fixing seem to so much more in the middle of the night. I was up too, ate too late and too rich and the food sat like a brick in my gut, one more of those new aging things I have to pay attention to. The good news is that I didn't have to drag myself somewhere to work in the morning.
ReplyDeleteOh, I can so relate.
ReplyDeleteI do my best "fixing" in the middle of the night....wake up in the morning and forget the whole list....so, I start it all over again the next night...
...now, if we could just take all that middle of the night brainpower and transfer it to the day....
ahhh....
: )
Tabor, thanks for the visit. Yes, it IS lunaria, although I didn't know it by that name until you mentioned it. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me remember a stanza of a song...
ReplyDeleteWhen you are weary and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings...
Definite signs of an empathetic, kind soul.
ReplyDeleteI often worry about people who DON'T ever think about fixing anything beyond themselves.