Brain Drains

I have been in computer hell for a few days.  It seems my download of Windows 10 to this old PC was NOT a good decision.  As a result they (Geek squad) took me back and not to the future by loading Windows 7.  I would like to upgrade to 8 where I was before the disaster, but have not found a way that does not cost money as I seem to have lost registration of discs or whatever.  Reloads of most other software, at least that which I use, was fairly normal.

ANYWAY...this is boring.  So lets talk about the weather.  Days and days of rain or gray sky and not a drop of sun.  Barely saw the rare full moon through foggy clouds on Christmas Eve. Took some night photos of Christmas lights. Well, this is also boring!

Oh, would you like me to list my New Year's resolutions?  ... I didn't think so.

It seems that working on my PC has left my brain empty of thoughts for blogging...so, I will leave you with a few Christmas shots as we say goodbye to another Christmas Season.

 This lovely house in the grandchildren's neighborhood gets super decorated every year.

 The angel in the window is there every year.

Hubby and daughter checking out Santa and his reindeer on the house.

The three jewels in my family.

Taking a Pause

My last post before Christmas.  This year the  approach to the holidays was the easiest ever.  Daughter wants to do most of  the cooking, gift shopping was fairly easy followed  by two afternoons of wrapping, baked a few cookies, and today deciding on appetizers to make at daughter's house since I will be up there tomorrow.  Hubby and I put up a handful of decorations since we are the only ones to see them.  No  Christmas cards because  my computer was in the shop and I wanted to design the cards myself.  So, it  looks like I am sending out New Year's cards.  Maybe that will be a new tradition?

I spend my time today enjoying the musical links on my small  laptop as that keeps me in the real  spirit of Christmas which is  SUPPOSED to be about the birth of the Prince of Peace.  How easily we forget.  Two  people, a young carpenter and  a young woman, perhaps barely out of  her  teens, in the final stages of pregnancy, seeking shelter and being turned away several times.  This scene has  become common today.

I am truly so personally fortunate this time of year and this becomes more painfully clear
as three of my young friends are fighting serious illnesses and another young friend is struggling  with fertility.   It is normal for us elderly to fight our health battles as we have lived a long life and I can accept that, but it is not fair when it visits the young who should  be focusing on family and future.  So, they will be in my heart even more so this season.

May you find a way to  enjoy the true meaning of the season as the bright colors and laughter of the  season surround you, distract you.   OH, don't eat too much,  because you will have to face all  those horrifically annoying diet commercials in the New Year.

Holiday Expectations

They no longer call
But if they did,
And asked how I was,
What would I say?
This morning I saw the pileated 
destroying that old tree.
This afternoon I heard a loon’s lonely call 
across the silver gray river.
Tonight I will spend an hour flipping through channels
Before I find something I watched before
And will watch again.
Tomorrow…
Tomorrow I have nothing on the list
Of things I used to do.
They never call
But if they did 
What would I say?

(Yes, this is a sad little poem, but it kept forming and reforming and so to get it out of my head I had to write it down.)

Rambling

Finally a day that is gray and cold and rainy.  I like this forced coziness.  Maybe a fire in the fireplace tonight?  I have been able to focus on brightly colored ribbon and paper as the soft drizzle wets the ashy tree trunks.  I have all my presents wrapped and waiting for the package delivery of one last minute purchase.  I am done early and telling myself NOT to think of one other item that someone might like or that I would like to give.  I am addicted to giving stuff  to people.  It does give me pleasure, but it sometimes is a burden to others, so am being fair this season.

(They still haven't repaired my PC but it looks like they have to wipe the hard drive and do a complete factory re-load.  They saved my data but it means I have to find/remember what software I had on that PC and try a reload from the manufacturers if I can find the Serial numbers!!  OR buy the software again.  An expensive holiday season.  I am not going to let this stress me, because that is bad for one's health.)

I asked hubby to take me out to an early dinner this evening and then offered we come back and watch a movie on Netflix and pretend it is a Friday date night.  Hopefully seeing something we had missed seeing over the years.  I need that!

I am heading up to the city on my birthday.  Hubby claims he has a Scout meeting with grandson up there and that is why we are going, but that seems strange to me, so I am  thinking they are trying to surprise me for my birthday.  I will act surprised.  It seems to be a Scouting week as we are attending the Eagle Scout ceremony of a friends son on this Saturday.

Tomorrow I have nothing scheduled to do, unless my PC is brought home and then that will be a headache filled day.  If not, my day is precious and free.

Tired of all this rambling and boring thoughtlessness.  I have a story from my trip to Florida and maybe I will write that soon.

Cheer Up, It Is Sure to Get Worse

Yes, I admit that our politics has put me in a funk.  Then we have had the gun disasters that  moved me into more of a funk followed by the  ridiculous response of some of our Presidential candidates  to our country's violence and the big joke that many think  of the global climate change meeting, all of it  causing me to research looking for a corner of  the world in which to live where people are not so crazy.  (There are a few areas, but not as many as one would hope.)  

Anyway, my dental appointment as discussed in the prior post ended with a nice long chat and jokes with the technician who always remembers me and whom I like very much.  We both are interested in photography, which is nice.  And my dentist knows my name as well...so I guess  there is  still  hope.

This did not uplift my mood enough to start hauling the  heavy boxes of Christmas decorations nor the heavy tree upstairs after I got back home. Perhaps it is because yesterdays temps reached 70F that I decided I am just not going to do that this year.  I am going to take a break from it all.  Hubby has not asked about decorating nor seems to notice we are not doing  it.  I did purchase a wreath from my granddaughter's Girl Scout troop and that is not even hung because I cannot find the stupid wreath hanger.  I have TWO!  The evergreen circle, which seems to be shedding worse than any house cat, sits in its lovely glory on the top of the wood stack on the porch waiting for me to do something.

Oh, I haven't written about the best news this month that means my funk is more than valid.  My PC crashed two days ago.  Totally started eating its own files.  I had booted it up and while waiting for my photography software to load I click on the trash icon to empty and it started deleting files like crazy.  I saw that it said it was deleting 39,000 files and immediately interrupted that process, but not in time to avoid disaster.

I took it to the Geek squad as we have paid for annual technical support and they studied it for 24 hours and then called to tell me that it was the Windows OS that had crashed.  They said it rarely happens to Windows 10 but it means a back-up of the personal files they can get at their end and reinstall of Windows 10.  No wonder the W10 upgrade was free.  (They may be wrong because my photography software has been giving me a test of  patience, so we will see.)  They insisted the hardware was fine which was a surprise.  Of course for the software reloads I have to find the CDs, DVDs, and serial numbers, etc.  I am writing this at 1:30 A,M. on my tiny laptop and would be doing the searching now, except I do not think hubby wants to hear me rummaging around at this time of night!

Do not worry.  I will dig myself out of  this funk.  My PC fail is far less worrisome than the state of the world I think and I can do only a little for that, so I will lift my chin and carry on.

A Few Shades of Gray

We tend to disappear as we age.  Women notice it more  because our culture treats us like eye-candy from a young age.  In my 40's I was beginning the process of becoming more gray in fading glory.  I had to be more aggressive getting a clerk's attention in the store and more bold pulling away from the boring corner at the party and being included in the conversation in the middle of the room.  Families  love grandma, but tend to move in groups around her, rather than include her in the conversation...in SOME families.  Thus I am becoming gray.  I was a bit miffed this vacation when the 4-year-old didn't want to kiss me good-bye because he only kissed members of  his family!  He looked a little stunned when I had to explain I was his grandma!  His nickname for me is not grandma.   I tend to blame this on my son-n-law who is very, very, close to his family and I am guessing makes it clear to his children who they are and not so much who we are.  I  am assuming he  didn't know my husband was grandpa either.  We do see these kids several times a year!

Yesterday I had a dentist appointment.  I have been going to this dentist for almost a decade since I moved down here.  He has two receptionists.  One is the smallest of little elder ladies with short cut dishwater brown hair and a tentative smile.  The other is a very large elderly woman with blonde hair who  has a small jewelry display on the counter in front of her which she sells.  The large woman was behind the counter when I entered.  She was dealing with making an appointment for another woman.  The reception area  is small and so I sat on the nearby wooden loveseat. and waited.

As I was waiting an elderly woman came in and very slowly made her way through the door.  Her movements were careful and tentative.

The receptionist finished with the other patient and looked over at me and said "Name?"  I gave her my name wondering why she never knew me?  "You DO have an appointment?"  she then asked.  I made some comment about just loving dentists and dropping by anyway over the holidays...snark!  We both laughed and she input my arrival into the computer.  She looked up at the elder woman and said hello to her by name and entered her into the computer.  A few minutes later another woman came in and sat down and the receptionist greeted her by name and then logged her in.  I sat and read my new book on poetry and still was a little miffed that she did not know my name, but I barely remembered hers----names are a big failing on my part as I age.

A man came in next and she greeted him by name.  I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with my personality, demeanor, appearance that I was  the only stranger in this reception room.  I  was in a bit of a funk now because I was remembering that people usually remember my husband when we go somewhere, yet if I am alone, they often do not remember me!

And I as I thought about this,  I realized it was NOT an elder thing.  It was not because I was  a lovely shade of  camouflage gray.  This anonymous thing has been  true most of my life.  I  would just brush it off during those busy years.  I remember once being introduced to someone who had actually been to my house for dinner but was a passing acquaintance over the years.  I was younger then and remembered him!

I guess  we all like to be memorable to people.  We like to be known as the "humorous " one  or the "charming" one or the "intelligent" one.  (I am sometimes remembered as "hubby's" wife.)

Yes, of course I have people who know me on sight, thank goodness.  But it is most disheartening to be the gray person in the room at various times.  I mean I WAS the Prom Queen in  high school and the editor of the school annual---it was a very small  school.  How far the great have fallen!

Season of Peace

This is the season of peace in our country.  We claim to be a Judaeo-Christian culture, but I am not sure anything from that religious history supports the violent rhetoric spewing from our leaders right now.  Above are two of my three grandchildren at a very peaceful location wondering at the vastness of our planet and the lovely way their days of fun come to an end.  I am trying hard to get out of this cloud of bitter, angry, sadness that follows me from room to room now that I am home.  I am trying hard to think positive about the future for these children as we slide into war.  So, I retreat into my photography to paint pictures of fantasy to share with you.

You Cannot Get Away

Our first days south we stopped in Savannah, Georgia.  It is one of our favorite cities in that it maintains romantic southern charm mixed with decadence, indolence, history, beauty, and something exotic that I cannot quite put my finger on and that few cities have.  Above is the square, one of many, of that famous French revolutionary hero that fought for our revolution, Marquis de Lafayette.  The flowers are because of the tragedy in Paris.  Seems even on vacation the war follows us.

This First Morning

It was a long ten plus hours in the car yesterday on our last leg toward home.  I am always surprised to find the house is just as we left it when I open that front door.  If I left a mess, the mess is still there.  If I left it clean, then I admire my good work.  Even though  on this trip I realized my bed is not as comfortable as the many hotel beds and the mattress is now ready for  replacement, I was into a deep sleep soon after my head hit the pillow.

Beyond afternoon canoe paddles in the mangroves, evening walks on beaches with sunsets,  and high calorie delicious meals of seafood which I wisely never finished (except once, but I had not eaten lunch that day), it is now re-entry time.  Always a bit of an odd feeling liking waking from a dream.

Early this morning, I look out my windows at the deck and see that the gnarly branches of the trees are bare of leaves, the frost is on the lawn and there is that pale pink sunrise painted fog that looks as if wood smoke hangs in the air over the silver quiet river.  Sipping my first cup of coffee I am avoiding making the long list of things that need to be done after weeks away.  I see the spiders in the corners have filled their larders with bugs that must be dusted out the door, the fan above me is covered in dust and must be wiped clean before I turn it on, one of the kitchen lights has burned out, there is almost three weeks of mail waiting at the post office, and the pantry and fridge need replenishing.

But for now, I can watch the pinks and purples of  dawn kiss this very still morning with both man and animal still snuggled warmly in their beds.  I do not think there is a God, but I pray for peace anyway, always someone who keeps her doors open and does not disregard any opportunity for help from a wiser and higher power.  Everyday, I pray for peace before I begin my jumble of stuff to do.

Now I will go blog reading and begin an hour of catching up with all of you, knowing I have missed huge chunks of your lives.

33,000

33,000 people killed annually in this country by gun violence.  If more specific gun control is not the solution, what is?  We own two guns, so don't assume I am against owning a gun for hunting or even  self-defense.  If you do not have an idea for a solution you are  accepting the status that we live in a very violent country and it cannot be changed. Yes, people will be killed  by knives,  etc. but I do not accept that the long slog toward greater gun control is bad.

The Downwinding

Thanksgiving week was very nontraditional as we headed with children and their families to Marco Island, Florida for the week.  I will post a "few" photos later that show warm sunny days when our coldest days up north start driving me nuts.  We ate out at a very nice restaurant for a TG dinner which was better than many homemade I have eaten.  Only $40 a head for adults and $20 for kids and a huge buffet, so not as expensive as it could have been.

Said "Goodbye" to them yesterday (hiding my tears) as they boarded the plane and then we drove to Hollywood Beach on the other side of the state.  I slept 10 hours straight last night and hubby slept 11.  We must have been more exhausted enjoying the grands than we thought.  In and out of pools playing shuffle board, pool, boccie ball, putt putt golf, beach walking and shell collecting.  Yes, it was one of those perfect family holidays with as little tension as can be expected with six adults and 3 kids.

Today we drive out to visit my husband's parents' grave site in Fort Lauderdale and then probably we will find a nearby park to explore.

We are in Hollywood Florida now which is surprisingly very Cuban in mood.  Not the rich Cubans, but middle class and other Cuban families enjoying a vacation with the grandparents and kids on the beach and brickwalk on the Atlantic Ocean.  Lovers holding hands, children trying to kill us with  wheeled little trikes, and adults helping an elderly aunt down the promenade.   Almost like an Atlantic City without the gambling.  We do not hear much English, although there are some white heads like us.  Photos to follow.

Almost ready to go home, but hubby is not, so we will be on travel another five or six days.

Bright Ideas

Years ago, when I lived on a tropical island just north of the great continent of Australia, I would run into the lone or pair of Australian tourists enjoying the moderate Muslim culture in which I lived daily.  I think it was at an ex-patriot dinner party where the length of the evening found many had slid into more than moderate drinking and comfortably into politically incorrect talks, that an Australian fellow on his fourth (or fifth) bottle of beer said he would never want to live in America.  What a bunch of wussies we were.  Rules and more rules.  "My God you cannot spit on the sidewalk without some Jack telling you to hold your spit." 

Of course, most of us who live in the U.S. do not see that kind of  petty rule enforcement and we are probably the first to take a somewhat dim view of police officers wasting their time on such.  Unlike Singapore we CAN chew gum in public.

Still many Americans think we are a land of too many regulations which put a stranglehold on business and growth.  This may be true, but I have been unable to get a small business owner to give me an actual example of some ridiculous/unnecessary rule that brought his business to a standstill or cost an unreasonable fee as a follow-up to his statement. They are there, but we cannot protest against them if we do not publicize them.

BUT I can think of rules that I want kept in place that protect citizens from highway robbery.  For instance we now have more homeowners using solar and wind power to reduce their consumption of energy.  This costs them money up front in setup, but over time the effort reduces the size of the bill from the power company.  Every dollar saved by a homeowner reduces revenue for power companies.  The power company may attempt to tack on fees if you install a renewable system, and they may try to charge you for sending power back to them by a process fee.  Currently we have regulations that do not allow utilities to raise the cost of energy just because they are selling us less and they want to improve their profits!  I like this rule because heating our homes is a necessity, unlike other things we may buy. 

Other consumers are buying more efficient appliances that reduce their consumption of power from the grid. Replacing light bulbs with high efficiency LEDS means you use up to 80% less electricity. Smart thermostats cut back on use of heat or air-conditioning when no one is at home.  All of these are cutting into the bottom line of your utility company.  I can guarantee you if we did not have consumer protection regulations, you would be using less energy from utility companies and paying just as much if not more for that.

This is just one of the many, many regulations I support.

Thinking, thinking.....

The news of the world that has ramped down my mood with its dystopian stories has cut me low and lost.  I keep searching for a post that is worth both your and my time.  I find that any ideas are like die rattling in my head and I am rolling no numbers.  I am leaving Wednesday early for travel and have a post written at a prior time that will post tomorrow.  Maybe I will have time on my trip?

The sniper and my fear (years ago) where I worked?
The update on the situation with my math student?
The book(s) I am reading?
My travel over Thanksgiving?


I am open to ideas....

Liberty, Egality, Fraternity

AND of course I  also weep for Beirut, Syria and other places where religious craziness and  pathological anger kill innocent men women and children.

The Challenge of Things to Come--Thursday 13

OK...no more depressing thoughts...unless you add you own.  But here are some facts (most gleaned without added footnote links) for you to actually add to your arsenal of knowledge.  If it takes only a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy with a gun, it takes only a good brain with factual data to stop a bad idea or foresee and avoid the consequences of said bad idea...or some such paraphrase like that.

1. We are just a short way away from making cancer a chronic illness and not a deadly disease.
2. We are going to use fetal cell research to create animals to grow for harvesting organs or for testing drugs on diseases (probably mostly pigs).  This may lead to repair of that ugly facial  damage you got as a kid or the better replacement of a heart.
3. Drone photography is becoming the tool of the day for real estate...so be sure you are not nude sunbathing if you live next to that house with the For Sale sign.
4. With the enormous expansion of video and photo sharing apps you can now be found on the Internet whether you like it or not.
5. There is very little you can do on the Internet that is not shared with some company that wants your money.  Do you have familiar ads stocking you?  They have decided, based on your searches, that you want/need what they have to offer.
6. Scientists are now researching ways to use technology in human brains to help understand why we feel the way we do.  This might be expanded to help find soldiers in the field who need medical assistance.
7. UCLA did a study and found that most children, having unsupervised time with technology, had trouble recognizing emotions in others.  I just want to ask...is that due to the time with technology or the lack of time being supervised?
8. Is technology 'soulless' if it can read your feelings using input from your body?
9. There is a new lab in London that wants to research all kinds of technology and humans.  You may not want to volunteer but there are many who will. 
10. I have a friend on FB who has developed a device that you wear that monitors how Zen you are as you work.  It helps to lower your stress so that you are more productive.
11. Some researchers are monitoring a possible solar storm in ten years that could wipe out our use of technology as we know it...but do not worry because the government has plans to be prepared for such an event.
12. Facebook is already using a digital assistant called "M" that makes reservations, coordinates order delivery and sends reminders.  It does require a human 'robot helper' at this time.
13. All is not lost because China, UK, and USA are coming together in their searches for solutions to common apolitical problems.  Scientists and intellectuals come together in one place... the best students, faculty and industry experts from around the world, and apply their talents to solving the challenges of our time.

Just a Few More Weeks

Winter is less than a month away, although our fall has been oddly warm.  It was 80F two days ago!  I got my daughter-in-laws bulb-garden-birthday-gift almost complete and looking forward to what she will see in the spring.

I came back to find that my clematis has put forth two blooms and my cosmos seeds (volunteers) have sprouted as seedlings.  They will die, but it was a surprise.

I also am enjoying the abundance of our garden that remains.

This Swiss chard is huge but very tender.

Lots of lettuce and bok choy for salads and side dishes and fried rice.

The last of these sweet long peppers are almost too pretty to eat.

And it does look like strawberry jam in the spring.  This bed is out of control!

Tilting at the World

There were a few of my readers that felt the discussion of a dystopian future in the prior post was too overwhelming and depressing for thought.  There are those who are in the hands of God and feel they have no understanding of the future or what God has in mind and therefore focus on the day to day.  There are others who feel evil is a constant battle to be waged and they will pass tools onto the next generation to keep mankind safe and whole.  Then there are people, like me, who tend to be agnostic about the whole process, always refusing to give up the challenge, but also feeling the battle will not be easy and each turn must be analyzed carefully and sometimes solutions are very hidden behind our prejudices.  I know there is a precious goodness in mankind that means we will return whether in small numbers or large to restore beauty and love to the earth and to humankind no matter what dark days we go through.  Whether we are fighting religious fundamentalists, Bible belt salesmen, the unexpected results of our technology, or deeply greedy and evil leaders, we must prevail in our vesting of this planet and this civilization.   I also feel strongly that we cannot forget.  We cannot allow evil history to be buried and forgotten or we will continue to make the same mistakes.  We cannot be afraid that there is not enough to go around.  We cannot see human groups as "others."   They are us and that is sometimes frightening.

Evil can be difficult to understand because as writer Primo Levi says, "nor should you understand it, but it is a sacred duty not to understand, and that to understand something is to subsume it within yourself and we cannot do that."

Can you not look as a small child's face and know that your job is to stay aware and to always be brave?  You are their guardians of their future and you must prepare them before you hand over the reins to the young in the days to come.

The Future is Somewhat Dystopian

I just finished reading a book that explained to me that my desire for a strong middle class is a futile wish.  This segment of society will diminish as technology replaces the more mundane jobs and tasks within those jobs, including writing scientific theories(!) and even teaching.  This is already happening with computers collecting and analyzing data for everything from how our blood reacts to drugs to how a product can sell to the why of the disappearance of some esoteric insect.  We just need a handful of people to understand the data that drives an answer.  All that will be needed is about 10% in each profession to be the bridge between the computer and man or the designer and tinkerer of technology.  But since these, about 10%to 15%,  will be very well paid, the upper class will grow.

The disappearance of jobs means competition will be fierce and the victory will go to the focused and very smart students who understand the technology, those students for whom numbers are a fascinating puzzle, those who like cyphers.  Robots can replace all the low end jobs and even things that are not supposed to be jobs such as sex.  The poor class will grow larger.

Then the author goes on to say that there will be no class revolution.  The poor will have lots of cheap food, cheap entertainment and cheap housing to numb them.  They will accept that this is their lot in life.  They will not be the beneficiaries of cheap health care, though.  Since it is paid for by others, it will be parceled out even more judiciously and sparingly.  I am not saying I agree with this, just reporting on what was written.

The book is titled "Average is Over" by Tyler Cowen, recommended to me by our financial adviser, who should be most worried about his job  with the growth of the use of computers to crunch numbers....

P.S.  This view neglects the importance of creative thought and creativity in all the art forms that we love.

Dancing in the Cemetary

Taken at a famous Richmond, Virginia cemetery.

Night Rambling-Rumbling

Fighting insomnia always seems to be my battle during a full moon.  Perhaps I am a witch?  Is this my season to be out and about with black magic?  In these dark early mornings with only moonshine (the kind that splashes on the patio, not the kind that spills from a glass),  I feel like my brain is a room with ping-pong balls going off in all directions.  The balls are clean and shiny with lots of ping, at least.  They ricochet with endless energy before that first cup of coffee even gets made.  But I must contain them, as hubby is still sleeping and I try to be quiet.

I received a coupon for a digital course on meditation and I have been thinking of taking it, like a vitamin.  It is hard for me to find a quiet place to study something like this as I am never sure when hubby will be off on a project of his own.  And I need to concentrate as I have tried (superficially) and failed (completely) in doing this before.  Hubby has gotten more and more restless, like a dog chasing his tail,  as the weather gets cold and rainy and he finds he cannot fish or garden or just take off to visit some neighbor's project.  Winter has been his challenge in that he has no indoor hobbies, unlike I, who has photography, writing, cooking, reading, watching Netflix, doing bits and pieces of interior decorating....etc.  He spends time making plans to visit old stomping grounds, Florida. 

Mage gave me a tiny critique on my poem on my other blog and I realized it is time for me to grow up and stop creating poetry diarrhea.   I need to hone and pause and edit and write again.  Maybe I need a course on writing poetry?  That sounds so comfy warm for winter afternoons, really.  Yes, I see that face some of you are making...to each his own.

This will be the first Halloween we do not drive up to visit the kids.  Many reasons.  I thought they still had the company in their house (long story about company living there during a month-long house remodel).  Then they said they were going to a Halloween party and wanted to know if we could babysit childsit.  And for some immature reason I just felt a little used.  Sugar-infused childsitting was not exactly the family get-together I had in mind.  Thus, I made other plans, but those fell through, so now Halloween will be a non-event at my house as I live at the end of a dark and long road.  I long ago gave up decorating the house.  I envy those cute grannies that have little decorations in every corner...until the event is over and everything has to be rounded up and wrapped back in the storage boxes.  Also, no one really sees these decorations except hubby and I.

As a reward for reading my spew above, how about some of my last rose photos taken a few days ago before the rain ripped the petals to shreds to wrap up this disjointed barrage of thoughts?   These are the true colors, no photo-shopping.  I get such lovely colors when the nights are in the 40's and 50's and the days in the high 60's.  It is almost English garden weather, meditate on that!