Being Honest(?) With Myself

My blog is anonymous and one of the reasons for that is this odd post below where I am sticking my neck out.

I remember a lecture about prejudice that I attended many years ago when I was "probably" in college.   A black man gave the lecture and one of the very first questions he asked was "Who in the room was racially prejudiced?"  A very few tentatively raised their hands before I cold even get the question around in my mind.  Then he went on to say that every single person in the room was prejudiced to some degree because of their background and experiences.  He included both black and white people in the room.  This was a new concept to me at that time; remember this was almost 50 years ago and I was very young and naive, which brings me to this past weekend.

Easter Sunday was a day my daughter had scheduled for one of her son's birthdays.  Her other son's birthday party was on the Saturday!  They were both born close to Easter.

Daughter selected a museum in Baltimore for the little guy and allowed him to invite his closest friend from preschool. Since my grandson had mentioned this friend a number of times, I was glad to have the opportunity to meet him.  The friend's family came as well...parents and their 2-year-old daughter.  We ate at a seafood chain restaurant and then spent time in the museum designed just for children.  Exhausting for us old types, but lots of fun as well with all the unusual physical activities. 

It was not until well into the afternoon that I realized I had been very careful of my behavior (internally) for most of the day.  The mother of this family was black and the father was white.  I realized that each time I approached their young boy to help or distract in an activity I was conscious of trying to be as 'politically correct' as possible.  Stupid and odd on my part, but I subconsciously kept making sure my actions were balanced and fair and "liberal" between the two four-year-old boys.  I did not want a hint of accidental prejudice to show!  I did not want to make some mistake.  This is a really odd feeling and I have no idea where it came from.  (No bleeding heart liberal comments please!)

I am not prejudiced.  At least I think (hope) I am not.  Then why was I so conscious of  the possibility of making a mistake?  I will honestly admit in my little old lady white world these days, unlike my younger years, I am not around black children very often.  I have a few adult black acquaintances at meetings, etc., but my life is so white bread. ( I am trying to change that with some new volunteer work which is not evolving as I hoped..not even getting off the ground.)

Am I too old for words?  Or am I just overly sensitive?  Am I a relic of the older generation that millennial types try to ignore??  Am I prejudiced and just don't know it?  If you are black, do you sometimes go through this when you are around white kids or is that too dumb a question?

One fact, which is undeniable and which I really do not fear, is that my world is becoming far more plural each day.

Please Tell Me This is Over

You know how they say that things come in threes?  I am beginning to think they come in 33s.  Our nightmare began when we left for Florida to escape winter last month.  On the way out the door Hubby noticed that the keys to our other car were hanging on the key rack just inside the garage door.  He thought it would be prudent to move these elsewhere in case someone did break into the house.  The keys sitting there would give them easy access to stealing the car.  I was busy loading stuff into the other car and said "ok" casually over my shoulder on the way out the door.

Upon our return almost three weeks later, Hubby comes up to me and asks where he hid the keys!  I explained that I did not even see which room he went back into as I was loading the car.  Well, it is now almost a month later and while we have torn the house apart we have not found this second set of keys which will take $500 to replace!

The week after our return hubby's car starts acting up in that it refuses to lock.  The lock on this car was an add-on many years ago when we lived in the apartment and the landlord's son tried to break into the car destroying the lock.  We got a brand new system that worked (somewhat) for years.  Last year we replaced both keys to the tune of several hundred dollars, and now, this year, once again we had a key problem.  Hubby took the car up to a company that fixes locks in cars and they had to replace the entire system (computer chip and all) and we now have two NEW keys for that car!  I would tell you how much it cost,but hubby won't tell me!

Yesterday, after driving hubby to the town up north to pick up his newly re-configured car, I came home and went to unlock the garage door to the house  It is a bit tricky and you have to remember to always turn it to the left and NEVER to the right or the key sticks and you can neither unlock nor get your get back out.  Well, I was hungry, had to go to the bathroom, etc. and completely turned the key the wrong way and was stuck!

We have a hidden key around the back of the house at the patio door and I hurriedly headed in that direction down the hill toward the river side of the house and pulled the key out of its hiding place and put it into the french door lock and TA DA...it also stuck and would not turn or unlock the patio door, no matter how much I jigged or jagged!  I was seriously thinking of going to pee in the trees but walked once more back up to the garage and fiddled with that door again and luckily it broke free of its stasis and I got it unlocked and went inside!

Is there some universal key god that is punishing me for some sin I have committed this year?  And what can I do to repent and end this expensive nightmare?  You may remember in a prior post that I have been trying to hire someone to fix the front door latch as well since the front door fails to close correctly and therefore makes it hard to turn the deadbolt with that key.  There must be some bad spell about keeping things in or keeping them out that has been cast my way.

(Oh, I almost left out that they lost hubby's luggage (over 4 days and waiting) on his trip to the tiny island school in the Caribbean last week where there were NO stores and where he had only one pair of underwear.  I also almost forgot to throw into this mess that the breaker outlet failed in the basement for on our chest freezer resulting in the loss of hundreds of dollars of food yesterday!  Good luck has to be around the corner....right?)

Story Time

Still struggling with this short story assignment.  Each time I listen to a writing lesson I try to incorporate what I have learned and the darn story takes off in a slightly different direction.  As it pulls away, some threads get broken until what I have left is a rather frayed compilation of words and I must go back and repair paragraphs, scenes or dialogue so that it appears to belong to the story.  Each day I admire more those bloggers I read who can write fiction so well on their blog...and elsewhere.

On the good days my analogy is that colors start flowing into each other making magnificent new colors I had not seen emerging, but then I cannot corral the flow into the direction that I want it to go and I have some mosaic that is a free-formed artwork instead of a structured story.

The story does not have the contemporary energy that I find in stories I like to read.  My problem is that when I started to write this I was sort of in the genre of Virginia Wolfe because that had been the example given in the lesson.  Lord knows, I am not Virginia Wolfe but the rhythm and flow had been set, so just like a Yoga exercise I am going to stretch in that direction and hope that I do not fall over and break something along the way.

At least I am secure in that I now seem to have found an ending that I like and therefore my path is a bit clearer. The photo above is much like my story...poorly framed and poorly cropped right now.

Paris in the Springtime

I am in the process of planning a spring trip on a river cruise through France in the spring.  Please do not be jealous of my opportunity, but share my joy and I hope you will enjoy my sharing the trip in photos, a few, later.  Yes, I am very, very lucky to be able to afford such an expensive trip, and in truth, I am spending my children's inheritance, but I also have TIME chasing behind me and reminding me that these travels will not be so easy or even enjoyable as I age.

Some folks (those who have discretionary income) spend money on homes or jewels or sports or fancy cars or even fancier hotels, or their children and grandchildren but my money goes to travel.  So much of the world still to see before we destroy it all and find ourselves involved in global terrorism and maybe even war. I have been reading about the history of France and feel that much has not changed from the 1600's and 1700's except for the speed with which hatred and prejudice and war and rich taking advantage of the ignorance and powerlessness of the poor can travel and spread.  That does sound like a depressing note, but we are an ugly species and hard pressed to see others viewpoints.  They have their history of genocide just like we do.

I never really wanted to see France among the many places of the world, but this will be a trip with my sister whom I see so few times and really am looking forward to the close memory making.  

According to Gertrude Stein the French did not invent the "croissant" but it came about as the result of Ukrainian soldiers making bread and using a Turkish recipe during a war.  I have no idea if this is true because Gertrude Stein rarely uses commas and writes in a sort of stream of consciousness style but it is a lovely idea.  

In my reading I am surprised at how France has come about much like us from disparate groups of people over the years.  Gauls, Romans, Flemish, etc. have combined to create this complex culture.  The mapping of the country over the years created three major and many other meridian line claims and maybe I will see one or two.  The Tour de France was a commercial enterprise that became more successful and very different from its original race with country picnics along the route.

Anyway, I will be leaving at the end of May and hope it is not too canned an experience and I just thought I would share.

Five Days in My Life

I am exhausted and restored at the same time.  I am full-up and empty.  I am lost and fully aware of my place in the universe.  I am full of joy and feeling the touch of bittersweet pain.

I just spent a week with my grand-children while their parents went away to celebrate their 40th birthdays.  Now, firstly, you must realize that I am not old enough in spirit to have children passing their 4th decade of life.  But it appears that factually I am that old!  Secondly, being responsible for a 3-year-old, a 7-year-old and a 10-year-old who spend the majority of their day in school and who are in bed between the hours of 8:00 and 9:00 PM cannot be portrayed by any stretch of the imagination as a difficult job.  They are really amazingly organized and well-behaved children.  They have rooms full of toys and books and games and their brains are sharp and creative.

I did not have a job to go to during the day or course work to complete in the evenings.  THEIR homework was sometimes challenging, on the other hand.  I was embarrassed to admit going brain dead briefly when working with fractions.  The terrible photo-copies of assignments sent home did not help in trying to understand some of the questions, but we muddled through.

We went to a park, hiked a trail, practiced bike rides, played board games, saw a movie, and walked to and from school each morning and afternoon.  They read to me and I read to them every single evening.  Even the 3-year-old has a favorite book that he read to me EVERY single night and we laughed at exactly the same places each time.

I cooked the healthy meals that Mom had left behind for me and they ate the carbs and protein and dabbled at the vegetables.  I got donuts for breakfast and chocolate Easter eggs for dessert, so we did not eat too healthy. 

So now I am spending daytime hours winding down back in my own quiet house in the woods.  Hubby is on travel and being in the house alone is much like a meditative experience for me right now.  I bought some new chanting music and plan on listening to it tomorrow and then plan the rest of my week and continue my process of being so thankful for what I have.

Linkng Back Ten Years to Cuba

I have been blogging a long time and realized that many of you may not have read these posts that I wrote back in 2005.   I should remember to print these posts out for my grandchildren if all of these blogs go down in years.

Hatties blog is one I read regularly as she lives in Hawaii were I went to school for a short time.  Her recent trip to Cuba reminded me of this post I wrote so loooong ago and this epilogue that I added later. 

Come back here, please, if you want to leave a comment as those posts are so long ago in another time zone!

Word Play

Writing is a compulsion for some of us.  We love the tidiness of words that fit like soldiers in a march toward some end and the untidiness of words that erupt like a volcano leaving bits of fire everywhere.  When we spill these words across a page, they mean different things to different people, and if we are a good writer, writing critics, just like art critics, spend precious time analyzing and deciphering and admiring.  Yet most of us are mediocre writers at best.  We know that and do not stop because it is a scratch that we just MUST itch. Most of the time what we spill is not deeply intriguing or even interesting beyond the single reading.  For some of us, it can help us understand ourselves and our place in time when no one else does.  We think our words become far more than a spontaneous and uncontrolled communication with the universe.

Some of us have a turn of phrase tumble out of our heads onto the paper that requires deeper analysis before we share, and so we tuck it away into a note for it to ferment.  Another time, maybe it is something we have seen that strikes our fancy and so we paint that scene with words.  We never for a second allow the thought to enter that this unique combination of words might be trivial and we might be lying to ourselves about its potential importance when woven into a paragraph, an essay,or  a scene.  We hope and nurture that it is a tool clearing the passage to something more magnificent down the road.  When we pull it out once again months later, we might possibly read it as the ramblings of an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing...someone famous wrote that and I just stole it...sometimes what floats to the front of the mind it is something that someone else wrote which we admired such a long time ago.

A few days ago, while cleaning up my laptop (digitally), I found a file labeled philosophy.  It consisted of about 14 lines of questions and interesting statements about life.  I was intrigued by what I had written, and at first, assumed I had been very erudite at the time I made that note.  I must have been humming like a finely tuned violin.  The more I re-read the words, though, I realized these were phrases captured from some movie I had seen...where the dialogue (I think from some detective) had been intriguing and intellectual, unlike most movie dialogue.  The questions he asked were so thought provoking that I guess I had hoped to use it as a stimulus for future meanderings of my own.


Have you ever done that?  Is your life cluttered with your notes, others' notes and jumbled words just waiting to be woven into a cleaner more interesting tapestry, or am I the only one stumbling in this cluttered and indiscriminate universe of words to which we are exposed every day?

I have been taking a digital course on writing and love being a student again.  I was never one who hated school.  I am working on bits and pieces of a "short" story in three parts as part of the course.  If I find it worthwhile and do not fear being naked, I may post it if I can actually finish it.  It is going to be close to 20-30 pages, so perhaps translating to a blog will not work...too long.  I am struggling.

You Are Forgiven If You Arrive Fashionably Late

(The last of my 3-part series on the Ringling Brothers Circus.)  The main house on the John Ringling estate is quite a eye opener.  John and his wife never had children, but they loved to entertain and this house was designed by and constructed with the oversight of his wife.

John Ringling and his four brothers living in Wisconsin on a farm would tour towns as jugglers and skit performers.  They were very good businessmen and soon built an entertainment empire.  Each brother had a job and John was in charge of transportation. They worked fairly and split the money equally and soon had the largest entertainment enterprise in the 1880s.

In 1905 he married Mable Burton.  It is my understanding that he gave her full reign in the construction of the house.  It was named Cà d'Zan, "The House of John" in the Venetian dialect of Italian.  Easy to see the strong influence of European design and architecture...mostly Italian baroque..  Personally I think the 30 room mansion is a little over the top for my tastes.  Yet, I am sure others find it a lovely home.  As it sits right on the water, you can imagine the terror that the curators face every time Florida gets a warning of a hurricane!

You may just be able to see the houses and keys in the distance on the horizon in this photograph above.

Does the maintenance alone not boggle your mind?  Most of the staff are volunteers.  Perhaps history or archeology or architecture or art students at Florida State University?

You do not arrive at dinner here under dressed and without grand expectations.

I think this place tries very hard to capture the elegance of Europe but ends up looking like a dictator's ego-filled palace.

But, again, I must remind myself that these people made their wealth from the entertainment industry...from the circus.  Why should I be surprised that this place has that atmosphere.  Note John Ringling's portrait behind that large brown organ.  He was a very good business man and created a wealthy life with his talent.

The Train, The Train!

(Some of you wanted to see more....so)  Ringling Brothers Circus today uses two trains that travel simultaneously. Back in the 1950's there were three giant train systems:  the first section being 22 cars with tents and poles and workers, the second section of 28 cars carried the ushers, canvasmen, and side show workers, the third section was 19 cars long and included the sleeper cars.  After merging with Barnum and Bailey the trains consisted of 100 double-length railroad cars transporting 1,200 employees, and was arguably the largest traveling amusement enterprise up to that time.

Only a very small portion of the older train is in the museum - personal travel cars of John Ringling and his staff.

No expense was spared for decor!

Looking down the train from the back end.

Above is the  lounge where John and his wife read and listened to music and watched the U.S. go by.  Such luxury !

The bedroom. 

The kitchen was very efficient and the cook prepared complete meals. 

The bathroom...with actual bath!!  Since they had to have access to water for the animals, I guess bringing/getting water for a bath was not that difficult. 

It Never Forgets

The news has recently said that the Ringling Brothers Circus was going to phase out its elephants from the circus.  I saw this elephant act decades ago in D.C. and that event made me decide I would probably never see circus animal acts again.  I could sense that the elephants were frightened.  You could see it in their eyes and by other things they did.  Ringling Brothers had, over the years, been receiving criticism for revealed behind the scenes harsh treatment toward these animals.  As we have learned, elephants are far more intelligent and complicated than we ever assumed.  In some atonement Ringling now has created a 200 acre conservation center in central Florida to retire these elephants in a phase out program.  I also remember years ago another video going around showing elephants using their trunks holding paint brushes to paint rather nice paintings in some place in Asia bringing in lots of amazed tourists with their money.  Behind the scenes training revealed unimaginable cruelty being inflicted to get these elephants to do something so unnatural.

As I wrote in a post before, I visited the Ringling Brothers museums during my trip down south.  In the photo above is the patio that John Ringling created just outside his large and rather garish house in Sarasota, Florida, now owned and maintained by Florida State University and on the same grounds as a circus museum, an extensive art museum, a miniature circus model and other interesting venues along with a beautiful garden.  That day was the warmest we saw...maybe 55F?

A large room houses a fascinating model of the three ring circus.  The model took years to create and is built in 3/4 to the foot scale.  Fifty-five train cars were also handcrafted and can actually be packed with all the circus figures.  It is a reproduction of the Ringling Circus in the 1920's and fills a large room.  This venue is very popular with all ages.  I did not take pictures inside the actual building as I guess I got distracted, but you can Google "Howard Brothers Circus Model" and get an eye full and experience a bit of the big tent excitement.

Ringling Brothers Circus was an important part of Americana and while we have many more distractions and entertainments in our modern world, this little bit of nostalgia was enjoyable.  (Let me know if you want to see the house or actual train.)

Soft Cold

Within days the ice storm, I wrote about in the prior post, melted and was almost immediately followed by another cold front bringing hail in the early hours of the day and a snowstorm in the later part.  The tickety, tickety sound of the hail hitting the skylights was like little wrens dancing on a tin floor. Then it changed to snow.  There is nothing more lovely and surprising than a heavy dry snow storm coming through on a late afternoon.  While we have had cold weather in these parts, we have not had lots of snow like so many others.  One storm of a few inches I missed while I was on travel.  This second one came through the second week of march and left me with beautiful scenery.  Such snowstorms (when not in super abundance or brought with frighteningly high winds) are so soft and clean when they cover everything.  They purify the sins of the earth.  Everything is virginal once again.

Snow is initially fun to watch because it is gentle and quiet and not intimidating like a summer electrical storm.

The clickity sound of the hail on the skylights was replaced...by...no sound at all.

Birds came in from everywhere and began to wait patiently for the sun to set.

The storm place a layer of soft fluffy crystals with bits and pieces of loose down sticking to the barks of trees and building in drifts pushed by the wind catching bunches and throwing them high.  A true pillow fight of large proportions. By nightfall every edge was smoothed in crystal white.

The evening meant a fire in the fireplace and some apple spice cake making from all those apples I picked and froze  last fall.  We each had a big slice.

By morning the sun arrived boldly and the yard had been dressed in a new smooth white silk with only the fox's footprints in the front yard and a lone deer's hoof prints in the backyard to break the perfection.  (This post was written days ago as I have been busy with kids doing lots of stuff.)

Hard Cold

Our return to the land of the frozen was dry but bitter. We waded through 6 inches of snow covered in ice to the front door and carried our gear ever so carefully.  By the next day a rain that originated with warm air high above us in the atmosphere fell through the frozen air and as it reached near our ground it became liquid ice and this is what we saw when we woke the next morning.

I put on my camouflage gear and winter boots and headed out early for just a sneak at what the river looked like.  The dock was wrapped like a silver package in a sheet of ice with a glitter dusting of snow and my concern for both my camera and my bones made me stop short of the edge where it hung over the water.  The nets in the left foreground are oyster floats.  I think the oysters are down in the mud right now, but I will have to ask hubby if these are just empty or set-asides. Other oyster farmers in the area are worried about their oyster stock in this frozen water.  The plastic owl leaning drunkenly below is supposed to chase away birds from leaving calling cards on the dock, and now askew, he is hardly looking intimidating.  The boat was pulled in late fall for some motor maintenance and sits on a trailer in the front yard and not on the boat lift below.  This finger of the river is frozen all the way out the day this photo was taken.  An unusual event, certainly.  This is as far as I was brave enough to walk.

Pre -Valentines Day Stop

I wrote on my Facebook wall that I had eaten dinner at the bank and slept in the parsonage when I was on this trip south.  I did not add details at the time I wrote the post because I did not want to emphasize I was out of town to the public, but other posts I made pretty much blew that cover over time.  Also, since there were no car tracks over the snow in the driveway when we returned, I think that might have given any nefarious person a clue.

Hubby was very sweet in trying to make this fishing/canoe trip more fancy for me and he arranged that we stopped on our drive down at North Carolina in a little town called Washington.  Not the D.C. one but Washington, North Carolina, a town that claims they were the first city (town) to be named after General George Washington.  We were there only overnight, but I do want to return and explore the interesting historic buildings some day.  We stayed in the B and B below.

This building sleeps ten to twelve and all bedrooms include a private bathroom.  The house is a century old and was a Rectory in its beginning in 1906 built by St. Peter's Episcopal Church.  The B&B is currently managed by a delightful woman who came to this country years ago from Central America.  At least one celebrity has stayed here in the past--Michelle Williams.  Beds were very comfortable, evening atmosphere was quiet, and breakfast was great!  Orange juice, fresh fruit with yogurt, french toast and sausage with hot tea or coffee.

We did not spend much time in this quaint sitting room, but I did grab a photo.

It is a quiet winter season in this little town, so we were two of only three people that stopped by for dinner at this former bank which is now a high end restaurant.  A young couple came later and sat at the bar.  Food was not cheap but delicious, and we got a private concert by the piano player!  I wish they would ditch the large screen TV.  Each of the few people we passed on the street on our way back to the B & B later that evening smiled and greeted us warmly as if we were neighbors.  It is a lovely town and I am going to return when weather is warmer since it is near a wildlife refuge which I will post about later on my other blog.

Drawing Attention To Ourselves

It has crossed my mind more intensely these days about why women do certain things in this Western culture.  Wearing earrings and necklaces and bracelets is really to draw attention to our shell shaped ears, our thin wrists and our soft curves just above the ivory decolletage.  Little bits of sparkle and movement to draw the male eyes toward us instead of to another.  (Ignoring the status symbol aspect of this.)

We used to wear long dresses that flowed with feminine movement and swirled with a flirtatious swish sometimes just revealing those sexy ankles that drew a man's attention.

We paint our lips to emphasize their plump juiciness and outline out eyes to give an exotic deepness to them waiting for the male to just dive in.

We paint our nails to draw attention to our delicate hands that we want held.

I have become dismayed (not depressed) that I no longer have the attributes that I would like more closely inspected.  Hands are veined with tan spots, lips are still plump but losing their shape, my neck is thin skinned and freckled and my decolletage, while still there, is not youthful looking nor sustained without assistance.  I still wear jewelry and make-up, and sometimes paint my nails, but realize it is being done for me, myself, and I.  Hubby still loves me even in muddy canoe pants and only misses my long hair which he has for years. He, while commenting nicely if I get dressed up, really has seen me without the camouflage and knows me like no other.

Yet having a bit of the soul of the artist, I do miss that smoothness and symmetry of youth, not to flirt, but to add beauty and a bit of power to my day.  Yes, age has its beauty, but I tend to be drawn to the other less complicated form.

There, now that I have depressed most of my female readers over the age of 50, I am glad to read in the weather report that the snows are melting this week and we may even get shirt weather!  Spring is around the corner and not around the bend.

Protection

Owning and using a car is a big responsibility.  A car is a useful tool for getting you places and transporting others who do not have a means of getting somewhere.  It can open doors to new worlds.  It is also dangerous if used carelessly.  You can kill or maim yourself or others.  Therefore substantial training, testing, and licensing of both you and the vehicle is required.  Cars can be stolen by others and thus we have gotten much better over the years in providing locks to prevent this.  That is not saying cars don't get stolen, but we have more complicated preventions, such as more complicated locking devices, silent alarms, cars that stall when stolen and GPS tracking devices so that we know where cars are at all times.  Not all types of vehicles can be used on public roads.  For instance, if you own a tank or one of those big wheelers, you must get a special permit to go from point A to point B and if you want to move a bus you have to have a specific license and testing in the majority of states.  Cars are not cheap to own and most states require insurance to protect the driver and others from tragic expenses and lawsuits.  Those that do not require insurance do require a vehicle fee paid to the state or the posting of bond. You cannot drive when under the influence of a drug and if caught can lose your license and/or car and must find other means of transportation if needed.  You may need to be re-tested for an understanding of the laws or even re-tested for eyesight and reflexes as you continue to drive. You are required to have your vehicle certified over time to make sure that it still has all the safety and other features working.  Law enforcement can check fairly easily any information on a vehicle by checking the license plate number in a database. 

All of these protections can be bypassed with effort, but that does not stop me from supporting the laws and technologies now in place even though it makes owning a vehicle an expensive privilege.

I feel the same way about guns and would like to have similar rules implemented.

( I should be home tomorrow...back into the polar express area of the world.  I saw the sign above and realized it was not something I would have seen years ago.)

Who Is Your Hero?

I took one of those stupid Facebook quizzes the other day.  I usually avoid these because I think there is a Russian hacker behind each quiz who gathers your answers and uses them for data to steal your/my ID in some new way to be used in the future.  Maybe he will use the data to get ID on my grand children!   But, this time I was bored and took the quiz.  The results always make you sound better than you are, so most people like the reward they get for answering stupid questions.  Anyway, this is what I got.

You're an Idealist! Idealists are abstract and compassionate day dreamers, activists, writers, diplomats, counselors and healers. You're the magician or medicine man of all the personality types. You're a deeply emotional and abstract thinker with cooperative and communitarian goals. You long for deep, meaningful relationships and you constantly contemplate how you can help the common good. You're guided by strong personal ethics, and you often have an ideology, cause, or way of viewing the world that you take very seriously. You're easy going until someone challenges your values, at which point you can be the fiercest of opponents. At heart, you're a natural healer with a great depth of empathy for those around you. As an Idealist, you're in impressive company! Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Princess Diana, and Oprah are all famous examples of Idealists! Do you feel more like Gandhi or Oprah? Let us know!

Since Gandhi is one of my all time heroes, I guess they got it right this time.  Of course much of what is written above can apply to all of us.

Not Vexing

(Another post I pre-wrote before I left.)

Along the open area near the stairs on the third floor (I think it was third?) are the American Indian flags that were hung at the National Museum of the American Indian that I visited weeks ago.  The American state flags of Oklahoma and Massachusetts use American Indian symbolism.  They both have Indian symbols representing peace...ironic isn't it?  There are at least 200 tribal flags identified and about 30 are in this photo.  It is my understanding that some flag designs are still awaiting approval from the U.S. government to represent some smaller tribes.  There are over 500 American Indian tribes!

As you probably understand the use of flags is a new type of representation for the American Indian, mostly begun within the last 50 years.  Prior to this tribes were identified by costumes and totems.  But since the U.S. requires identification for sovereignty the tribes went the way of the Europeans and developed flags.

According to vexillologist, Donald T. Healy, "Another major inducement for Native American peoples to adopt flags has been their increasing involvement in the gaming industry. More than ninety-five tribes now offer gambling in one form or another on federally recognized reservations. This has brought millions of visitors to lands they would never have thought to visit. With this massive influx of visitors tribes now find themselves in need of a readily acceptable symbol of sovereignty. Replies to surveys and phone inquiries in at least a dozen cases have directly attributed the adoption of a flag to the opening of a casino or bingo parlor. The impact of gambling upon the adoption of flags within the Native American community may be a unique occurrence in vexillological history."  By the way, the study of flags is called vexillology.

In the above photo is the view that you get when you walk past all the flags and look down to the central lobby of the museum.  This open area below is where you see and hear demonstrations of songs, instruments, and other culture activities throughout the day.  And, I might mention that not all Indians are poor.  The Pequot Indians of Connecticut were sufficiently wealthy that they donated ten million dollars to the Smithsonian Institution toward the construction of a this museum.

Florida Notes--Thursday 13

1. You will notice that there are lots of small dogs being walked.  They are dressed nicely.  I saw four little dogs with flowered sun-visors riding in a baby stroller.  I do wish I had gotten a picture!  It is as if you were in a circus, but then you are in some ways, aren't you?  They are small because the condos and apartments have a weight limit on pets that can live with you.  Although one afternoon I did see a standard poodle the size of a Shetland pony with fur like a big shag rug.
2. The Central Gulf Coast of Florida is very white bread.  All rich old people.  Where do all the others hide?  If you see a minority person they are usually Latino and waiting on your table.
3. Walking down the street in St. Petersburg toward the art museum you pass real estate office, jewelry store, coffee shop, real estate office, jewelry store, coffee shop, etc.  This is why I would not fit in here.  No hardware stores, used book shops, or coop grocery stores where they sell that chunky granola.  They did have a Chihuly art gallery, where you can buy something breakable for a small fortune.
4. The few times I saw a child walking by I had to stop and stare as if it was some beautiful rare bird.
5. Weather has been mostly jacket and sweater weather the days we have been here further south in Sarasota, but happily it was not the 8F degree weather with wind chill that we missed at home.  I kept everyone up north in my thoughts while I was unhappy I had not brought more turtlenecks.
6. I am getting my fill of some of the water birds.  Dreading the photos to sort when I get home.
7. I had dinner with my next door neighbors who happened to be staying near us.  They have purchased a beautiful condo on the ground floor downtown.  It has a postage stamp yard for their cat. Yes, they have lots of money.  We went to an art fair and dinner with them, something we never do at home where they live next door.
8.  Some people do not know when to stop with the self-indulgence...see photo below.

 (Yes, now with the added photo the 13 numbering is off, but I cannot seem to fix the HTML coding.  It does add up to 13.)

1.  I did see a gopher tortoise in the Florida shrubs sunning himself about 30 pounds and I was told that it was not common to see that.  I had never seen one before, but he headed down into his hole the minute he saw me raise my camera.
2. I am beginning to think all the angry white people live in the Miami area, because everyone I have encountered here on the West Coast is friendly and laid back and I remember some rather nasty folks in the southeast years ago.
3. We are half way into our vacation and I have not gotten a single good beach sunset.  Weather or other things do not cooperate, but I really had no photographic agenda anyway.
4. A tri-colored heron perched on the side of the canoe we had tied to the dock here, and pooped into the boat, and I took that as a welcome to the tropics sign.  I will post on my other blog when we return.
5. Yesterday was an all day canoe ride over some slightly choppy water between the mangrove islands with a rather cool wind.  At least the sun was shining and I think I got too much of that.   Doing the Ringling Brothers museums today.

It All Stops

That one time of the day when the voices stop their annoying whispering in my ear.  The shaking of the fingers scolding me for my wasted moments, the sad shaking of the head for my neglect of friends and family, the negative thoughts of what a waster of time I have become all stop while I say goodby to another precious and beautiful day.  Tomorrow I get a fresh start to be a better and more productive person.

Dripping Rainbow

( Another post that I drafted before I left for Florida.)

You can never tell where you might find a surprise such as a lovely rainbow unless you stop looking down and look up, even inside a building.  Below is a rainbow that I came across in the National Museum of the American Indian whose architecture itself is the primary work of art.  This building had a construction and design team which, of course, included our native Americans and an architectural team as well as many others.  There are so many details from the selection of the stone and rocks that were used in the building to the symbolism both outside and inside that the structure of the museum is a work of art in and of itself.  Acrylic prisms were installed in the high south wall and catch the sun's rays creating this light spectrum on the opposite part of the ceiling in early to late afternoon every day that the sun shines.  This changing light show reminds us of the sun and light that was important to the native tribes as it is to you and me, and it makes for an interesting photo.

I think of a river of color dripping through the levels of the ceiling when I study this photo.  I think that I should do some prism shopping on this trip to hang a light catcher in my southern window.

Snow Birding

My husband holds off as long as he can before he becomes adamant that we will visit his homeland for at least a few weeks.  He squeezes in a few "meetings" on the trip but the rest of the time is canoeing and fishing down there.  I pull him away for a nice restaurant or two, maybe a museum and most certainly a nature preserve where we tiptoe among the alligators.  Are we not the boring old folks I swore I would never become?  We could fit nicely into one of those pharmaceutical ads...the ones about blood pressure or constipation, not the ones about sex.  Yes, it is Florida once again.  No, I am not excited.  I am jaded and our weather here has been mild enough that I do not have cabin fever.  Since we will be driving down with one of the canoes tied precariously to the top of his big car the drive must be carefully done.  We will stop at a few places along the way, where he allows me my photography jaunts.

I will be taking my laptop and maybe find time for posting.  Nothing creates a death knell for a tedious blog more than not posting fairly often!  I will try to find something more interesting to post about than beach sunsets and water birds and retirement living in the South, but there are no guarantees.  (I would rather be in the wild west, but that is just me.) I will also write some posts ahead to go live while we are on the road.

Please keep an eye on the house and house plants while we are gone.  These have been narrowed way down over the years.  No pets, with good reason, as we travel far too often for far too long for that kind of responsibility.

The Courtyard

Once again a series of photo edits since I am stuck indoors.  This is a photo of the courtyard of that Freer Gallery that I keep visiting this month.  I take photos of the architecture while I get inspired by the actual art inside.

It was a cold and rainy day and the doors to the interior courtyard were not open from the hallways of the gallery, so I took this misty and gloomy picture anyway through a rather muggy window.  When I got home I decided the photo needed some definition and contrast to catch the eye.

Then I decided that the photo needed more color and a warmer mood on such a cold day and changed to the photo below.

And at the very last I decided the photo needed to be more in the form of art due to its location.

Makes me wish I had followed those two art courses I took long ago and actually developed a real skill.

Eating

I was going to post something about eating here, but then I found the context more appropriate to my other blog. So you can go there once you have taken your eyes from my most magnificent grandson studying his raspberry filled cookie.

Since You Asked

One (or more) of my blog friends was wondering why I could not post photos of works of art that I had seen in my museum tour on the last weekend.  I, perhaps, phrased this poorly.  It is a matter of not being able to render the actual beauty of any work of art by just taking a photo.  The art oozes its charm or shock or nostalgia with the surroundings of the room in which it was placed and with the specific lighting and even the atmosphere such as the quiet clean sound of a gallery.  I must also take the photo without flash, which sometimes works and sometimes does not, since I do not drag a tripod through the gallery, even if they would let me!

But below is a small example of my take on this room of over abundant stimuli-The Peacock Room.   It was painted by Whistler-the same man that painted that severe and austere portrait of his straight-laced mother-and you can see he has a much broader style and palette in his soul when he gets away from mama.  The colors rendered by this photo are NOT accurate, and that is why I hesitate trying to share works of art via blog.

This is the Western wall of the "dining" room and the painting for which the room is named.  Below is the controversial painting that hangs on the opposite wall.

The owner of the home became ill and was surprised at all the liberties that Whistler took with his elaborate painting and tours of his work to the public while the owner of the mansion was at his 'regular' home recuperating.  The painting above became controversial over time.  The Greek Anglo beauty above was in Japanese dress of popularity at the time and this was later considered too risque and too much like bedroom wear to be shown to guests.  I was truly surprised at this because Greek nude sculptures were accepted everywhere at the time.

Having written this, let me share in a better representation my tour of The Peacock Room owned by Leyland and painted by Whistler that you can take.  There is some good story behind the creation of this room and its final destination to the Freer Gallery.  You can go here for a beautiful tour of the room and here for more information.

This Freer museum is due for well needed renovation soon and this room will be taken apart and not seen for a number of years, so I was glad to be able to tour this winter!

Sigh

Got in last night about 10:00 which is late for us.  We had an exhausting, fulfilling, challenging, fun,  and loving time taking care of the grandchildren.  As they grow older our relationship with them changes more.  The 9-year-old wants more time to himself and is less willing to sit and share or play games.  The 7-year-old has gone from playing family with me to playing college.  I still am relegated to the role of the year younger sister and do not get to pick my name in this game...I barely get to talk.  She is going to be the "interesting" one to raise as she is so different in interests and personality than my daughter and I.  The littlest one at 3 is nicely balanced in terms of time with us and time with his siblings and time on his own.  Other than having to get up once each night for the youngest who still has nightmares several times a week, the time with them was nice.

Hubby and I took Friday off while grandchildren were at school and hit more museums at the mall.  Maybe I will share photos later, but much of this touring art is hard to share.  So lucky to live near so many (19) free museums.  I did a lot of people watching on this trip.

My daughter and I are SARS (Super Anal-Retentive Sisters) and I really wanted such a list from her as was shown in the prior post.  I try to follow as much as I can, but do not kill myself.  I posted this list because it is such a contrast to my regular days where I can sit and read blogs in my PJs until 10:00 A.M.  Daughter is a gem, and if we totally ignored huge parts of the list she would be OK with that.

My Three Day Weekend

Directions for my three-day weekend...By the way, how was yours?

Thursday, January 29, 2014
Evening

*        Pick up C around 5pm.  Go in the bottom door under the stairs, then make a right into the hallway and walk down the hallway.  Teacher will see you and get C.  Sign C out on sign out sheet (right on table when you walk in door).  C should have a backpack that contains his water bottle, and plate/silverware in a plastic bag.  Check to see that his water bottle is in there, if not, it might be in a bin near the sign out area.

*        Pick up X and N from the right-most set of doors of school (not the main doors in front).  They are locked, but you can hit button on wall and someone will open.  Get them after you get C, but no earlier than 5pm since they have after-school activities.  Sign both kids out on sign out sheet on round table at front of cafeteria.


Once home...

*        They need to eat dinner

*        They need to unpack their backpacks, put away their jackets, etc.

*        They need to focus on their homework.  Ask them what they have on tap and they should tell you.  When older kids doing homework Thursday night, C can do his speech homework.

*        They need to brush teeth, floss, and get dressed.

*        We showered kids on Wednesday night, so up to you if you want to shower them at all either Thursday or Friday night. Probably not required.

*        C to bed around 8 so that he is changed and teeth brushed and ready for story at 8pm to go down around 8:15.  N should read to herself for 20 minutes (probably want to start around 8pm), she can continue to read her poem books and pick two poems that she likes best.  Once she has read, she might ask you to read to her (Freaky Friday).  You reading to her should happen at 830 so she is down by around 845.  X needs to read for 30 minutes. He might ask you to read to him (time traveling adventure book) and you reading to him should start by 845 so lights out around 9pm.

Lastly, X should only spend ~30 minutes on Thursday and Friday on devices (iPad/iPod Touch).  Same for N and C on TV.  Weekends we are more relaxed about it.  That being said, X will hit his limit on Thursday morning, so he shouldn't do any wii or ipad or ipod touch on Thursday night but can watch a little TV if he gets everything else done.



Friday, January 30, 2014

Morning

-        X will likely wake up on his own, around 7am.

-        C will start calling for someone to open his door around 7:00-7:30am.

-        N will sleep until woken up.
What they need to do (you will need to help them to varying degrees)...

*        Eat breakfast (see breakfast options in meals section)

*        Get dressed

*        Lunch for older kids - they will buy as it is pizza day, lunch for C is provided at school.

*        Have bags packed for school

o   X and N each get one snack in their outside pockets of their backpacks.  They can pick these out.

o   C needs a plate (there are two on bottom shelf across from sink) and a fork/spoon (small and blue, they have name on them, might need to be washed Thursday night) placed in a clear plastic ziplock bag.  This bag gets placed in his backpack.

o   C needs the small water bottle.  He can show you which one.  Gets placed in the side of his backpack (mesh area).

*        Drive C to Children's House, dropping him off between 8:20-8:30am.  Just make the left onto G, and drive for .8 miles (2425 N G Road, ), and the school is on your right (have to enter parking lot from side street).  He will show you where to go (to his cubby to drop stuff off, then walking with his water and plate to his classroom upstairs).

*        Walk kids to school (they will show you how), arriving between 8:40-8:50am.  You can also drive them if that is easier.
The maids are coming on Friday.  They usually come between 10 and noon and stay about four hours. They do clean the kitchen, and downstairs area and then will do all the laundry.

Evening

*        Pick up C around 5pm.  Go in the bottom door under the stairs, then make a right into the hallway and walk down the hallway.  Teacher will see you and get C.  Sign C out on sign out sheet (right on table when you walk in door).  C should have a backpack that contains his water bottle, and plate/silverware in a plastic bag.  Check to see that his water bottle is in there, if not, it might be in a bin near the sign out area.  Different about Friday is that you pick up his nap mat as well.  Should be with him or at his locker.

*        Pick up X and N from the right-most set of doors of school (not the main doors in front).  They are locked, but you can hit button on wall and someone will open.  Get them after you get C, but no earlier than 5pm since they have after-school activities.  Sign both kids out on sign out sheet on round table at front of cafeteria.


Once home...

*        They need to eat dinner

*        They need to unpack their backpacks, put away their jackets, etc.

*        No homework.

*        If you want, you can take N to Dance Party at the school.  Starts at 6:30pm and ends at 8pm.  There is pizza available for purchase and they recommend bringing a water bottle.

*        They need to brush teeth, floss, and get dressed.

*        Same timing schedule as Thursday night, but they don't have to read if they don't want. They will probably still ask you to read.

Lastly, X should only spend ~30 minutes on Thursday and Friday on devices (iPad/iPod Touch).  Same for N and C on TV.  Weekends we are more relaxed about it.  That being said, X will hit his limit on Friday morning, so he shouldn't do any wii or ipad or ipod touch on Friday night but can watch a little TV if he gets everything else done.

Saturday, January 15
Nothing on tap for now.  Feel free to do what you want. I think my event ends around Noon or 1pm so I will be back home around 1pm or 2pm.  N has a birthday party at 2pm, so I will try to get home in time to take her there.

Meals
Breakfast

*       Waffles (upstairs freezer)/French toast sticks (downstairs freezer)

*       Sausage egg and cheese sammies/Breakfast burritos - upstairs freezer

*       Eggs, toast, OJ

*       Pancakes and sausage on weekend

*       Cereal/milk - extra is in basement fridge
Lunch Options

*       Peanut Butter and Jelly - X can help you make

*       White Castle Burgers - upstairs freezer and downstairs freezer

*       Hotdogs (rolls and dogs upstairs fridge)

*       Bananas, grapes (in fridge)

*       Quesadillas - tortilla shells in fridge and cheddar cheese in drawer

*       Soup - ramen noodles are usually a hit

Dinner Options

*       Lasagna - upstairs freezer, this needs 90 minutes so plan ahead, garlic bread - upstairs freezer

*       Salad

*       Broccoli

*       Pizza - frozen pizza in downstairs fridge and upstairs fridge

*       Chicken nuggets - fresh in upstairs fridge

*       Mashed potatoes - pre made upstairs fridge

*       Leftovers - this would be good for you guys and includes, pasta, Cajun shrimp pasta, pork, roasted asparagus, mushrooms and cauliflower, mac n cheese, rice, whole wheat pasta.

I figured you would have the chicken nuggets, broccoli and mashed potatoes on Thursday night. Then Friday some of you might eat out and others can eat leftovers, or pizza.

It took me the first pick-up to lose this list in the bottem of the backpack!

What the Camera Captures

Many of us watch the historical/hysterical soap opera Downton Abbey on television.  I enjoy it because of the tremendous attention to culture and historic detail that is interwoven into the everyday lives of the upstairs and downstairs crowd.  There has been discussion about the somewhat romanticized version of this oligarchy.  The rich were kind and reasonable with the lower classes as long as the lower classes knew and maintained their place.  The new 2015 (14 in Britain) season is slowly introducing the disintegration of that relationship as a more democratic culture begins to  seep into England led by the changes from World War I.

Intelligent viewers know that this television version of the culture is somewhat glossed over because the Crawleys (Lords and Ladies of the Manor) are pretty benign in their treatment of the servants.  They do not see them as equals in any way, but do not put barriers in front of them if they wish to pursue other careers or get married.  Certainly a very liberal view at that time.  I have read recently about how many of the upper class land owners treated the Irish tenant farmers with such cruelty when the potato famine spread across Ireland.  Most of the aristocracy left the farmers to their own devices and fled back to England to live in well-fed luxury while many of the Irish that were left behind died of starvation. There were bodies of men and women lying along roads as if there had been war.  These were truly tested people.  Some of the more determined headed for America to start a new life with nothing but the shirts on their backs. Upon arriving in  America they banded together to strive and survive.  (Yes, in some cases their was a nice little crime unit formed...the Irish Mafia.)

When I visit Ireland last year, I (most serendipitously) came across the National Library Photographic Archive, located in Meeting House Square in Temple Bar in Dublin.  It was near the open market where we went to grab a walking breakfast.  It is a small space in a very contemporary structure and the exhibit that I saw was a series of black and white portraits of the people in the Limerick Milk Market by photographer Gerry Andrews taken in the 1970s.  These were the grandchildren of the people who lived through the potato famine and their character shows in each precious and honest portrait.  I was crying as I walked through this exhibit, a truly magnificent archive from a truly talented photographer.

If you wish to see this terrific slice of history you can go to this link, but be prepared for some serious soul-searching.  This post is for Mage who is now working on a B and W challenge of her own.