That Talk We All Avoid

My 7-year-old grandson is visiting us this week. He had a free week from his summer schedule and we are thrilled to be able to share this time with him. Seven is a magical age. I had forgotten how wonderful it is to pal around with a seven-year-old! There are a few things we have to push him to do and others which we let him opt out of as his days are super scheduled most times. This generation rarely has time to do nothing. We give him that and unlike his sister, who has to be endlessly entertained, he can amuse himself for hours with a Lego kit or a craft project.

We have a local sculpture garden (out here in the boonies) and they have an annual "Fairies in the Garden" exhibit. They make it fun for the kids by creating puzzles and mazes along with the fairy houses.

I took him once again this year, because I know he soon will be too old for such silly stuff and I will be too old for the more exciting stuff he will want to do.  ( I have little desire to shoot down a zipline.)

He is now of an age where he notices more things in this sculpture garden beyond the fairy houses, and that has led to greater discussions...such as "What is a torso?"  and comments such as, "She looks scary without her arms, don't you think?"  This sculpture below almost led to another whole new discussion for which I had not prepared.  Grannies, beware!

I love how intrigued he is by this magical girl in pigtails.

Getting Perspective on Life

Please, if you are not in a great mood do not go to this link below.  It will make you laugh quite a bit and cry very much and count all your blessings...unless your soul has been sucked out and away one time long ago.  David gave this audio presentation shortly after learning he had a cancerous tumor that resulted in the loss of the use of his arm on May 14 of 2012.  The clip goes on a little longer because this painfully funny stand-up was followed by another comedic presentation from another comic.  David Rakoff passed away recently and I will miss him and his writing.  I will miss his ability to tell how it is in such real terms and find the funny in the sad and compare the sad to the ridiculous.

David Rakoff

If you want to know what he looks like here is an interview he gave to our current events comedian Jon Stewart.

My Republican Friends

The museum fiasco continues to amaze all of us who support the museum.  My husband talked to the museum grounds keeper regarding the tree issue.  The fellow was amazed at how fast the Commissioners folded because they actually had sent someone months ago to count the trees and indicate which ones would have to be removed.  Now they deny that trees had ever been considered for removal!

My husband was talking to a hard-working Master Gardener who has given us tremendous support on building the museum's compost bins for educational efforts.  He is ex-military and a tremendous worker!  Retired, like us, gardening is one of his favorite activities.  When hubby told him about the museum fiasco his first response was..."They must be Democrats on the Board!"  This is a Republican county, so I am a little amazed at his response...but this has really enlightened me.  We always see stupidity from elected officials as a party line issue.

This is not a political post...just an example of how we have to be more pro-active in holding our elected officials feet to the fire.  Most of us focus on the Presidential and state elections and then just vote party line on the local stuff.  I am as guilty of this as others are.  It is OK.  Just make sure you check on the minutes of the meetings every once in a while, make sure you volunteer in your community, try to get those who do not agree with you politically to give their reasons and examples for their beliefs and issues.  Try to accept that elected officials needs us to keep them on track.

I continue to emphasize that most of us really are on the same agenda.  Conservatives fear this black president is going to give this country away to poor people.  This IS a valid argument (Although I do not think this is a real agenda for this President) and liberals have to admit that more regulation is needed for our socialist programs.  But conservatives have to trust scientists and educational experts on stuff without assuming they have a secret agenda and agree that regulation in other areas needs to be enforced...certainly banking with many banks being investigated.

But we also need to compromise.  Then revisit that compromise in a few years and fine tune it more one way or the other.  None of us agree with the skin-heads that desecrate the Sikhs ability to worship as their minds and hearts tell them.  None of us agree with those lazy minority youth who continue to collect food stamps, drink on the steps, and avoid work at all costs.  BUT THERE IS A MIDDLE GROUND!  The world is FULL of hard-working and honest conservatives and liberals that help solve problems. Do not let political leaders who state that compromise is a dirty word convince you otherwise!  This hard-lined Congress will destroy this country.

I will be shortly saying goodbye to a Republican lady whose work in this community has been substantial.  She is an energizer bunny that few could keep up (grammar folks take a sigh) with.  I know about two of her many community projects that will require two people in each case to fill her shoes.  (I am one of these who had to get a buddy before I would take her place!)

I guess what I am trying to say is that we need both sides of the Yin/Yang coin.   We keep each other from going off the edge.  Yes, there are a few issues that require too much tears and anger to discuss, but let us put those aside for now.  Let us just find a middle ground on everything else.

Small Town Politics

I volunteer at a local museum.  It is small and while important to both the state and county, it has a tenuous State budget and survives greatly with volunteer efforts and donations and fund raising activities.  The 'new' director has been a real force for change in a good way.  Unfortunately, the museum is tucked away on a small spit of land near the shore and tucked between private homes.  When it was built years ago it was not cheek to jowl with the homeowners, but waterfront property is always in demand.  A neighbor, who happens to have been a former state official and county official, has spent much of his time making lives difficult for the museum staff and volunteers.  Using his power he filed a complaint with the county commissioners (some old buddies) that over two dozen pine trees on the museum grounds needed to be removed as they were dropping needles on his lawn and clogging the gutters to a garage...built after the trees were planted.  There is a long and unbelievable series of events that led up to this with the museum making every effort to accommodate the requests of this idiot.  As you can see, these trees have been here a long time.

I live in an environmental state where cutting of trees, especially near the water, is rarely granted.  A dead tree or dangerous tree might be given approval for removal, but over two dozen trees...on another's property...never would happen.  I will not go into details about why removal of trees is not good, but trust me, you want to keep as many trees as possible on this planet.  Well, our county commissioners not only granted this permission and pushed the permit office to move the paperwork along, but they had the audacity to require the museum to pay for the 20 to 30 thousand dollars in cost!  Since the museum depends on these commissioners for budget approval, it was in a difficult spot.

Many of us were concerned about this blatant abuse of power and finally we went to several environmental groups as well as wrote and emailed the Commissioners' offices for an explanation.

I was one of the first emails sent to request politely how this approval came about.  I mentioned my strong environmental concerns and how I had worked hard to keep my shoreline as natural as possible.  I also asked that since my tax money was going to pay for this, why was there not a public hearing?  One of the Commissioners responded almost immediately to my email:

"There is somebody passing along an incomplete story who does not have all their facts correct. May I suggest you go back to them and request they get the complete story before they spread stories?"  Sent from my iPad

This is jaw-dropping.  An elected official indicating that I go find out the correct facts for myself!  And to go back to the original source.  Needless to say we had gotten a response from the county permit office AND the staff of the museum both officially stating that a permit had been granted (reluctantly) to remove these trees at the request of the Commissioners' Office.  I researched this prior to my email even being sent.  I was amazed that an elected official could be so rude and cavalier and actually lie!  Boy am I naive.  He added in a second email that he was sure a formal report would be forthcoming...in other words 'Don't hold you breath, you stupid tree-hugger."

Well, as the day (less than 24 hours), passed, these turkeys in office had to back off on the whole thing and the museum was going to be contacted officially this week to learn that no trees would be required to be removed!  I am guessing they were inundated with emails and realized they could not justify this cronyism.

I asked my co-volunteers how this idiot got into office and was told that our local Tea Party had worked hard for his election.  Golly, golly am I naive.  I keep forgetting that living in a 'good-old-boy' county is really scary and that I should read the minutes of meetings more closely!

I am guessing since I am not a religious person, if God is on the side of the religious right, He may punish me with a hurricane this year or next that will remove all of these trees in one fell swoop...shallow rooted as they are!

Sunset Cruise

For me, this warm month is just the opposite of that physics where the sun hits a balloon and expands it to a nice bold size where it can bounce around with joy.  The sun (and resulting heat) hits my soul and deflates me as if all that hot air (that some might say I have an abundance of and love to share) disappears into the cool air conditioning and I collapse in a semi-coma on the sofa like a limp shadow of myself.  I search about for just the tiniest bit of energy to finish one last chore but every ounce seems to have retreated to the shadows.

My husband, on the other hand, is full of energy.  He has so much energy that just sitting still mid-afternoon might give him a heart attack and he cannot bob his foot long enough before he must jump up and begin another task.  He can always find some chore outside that needs to be done and come back in an hour later drenched in sweat looking like an Olympic swimmer with victory all over his face at the success of completing another chore on an unbelievable August afternoon.

This week he asked for an evening canoe trip after dinner.  I had put him off too many times and with his birthday (number 69) just around the corner, I knew I had to agree.  I indeed felt too guilty to turn him away one more time.  This wasn't really a 'canoe trip', because he attaches a small wooden transom to the stern of the aluminum canoe and starts a small gasoline motor that moves us through the humid air drying the sweat from our brows as we skim the water.

We crossed the inlet of the finger of the river and headed to the open waters where most boats had already reached their home dock in the waning evening.

We disturbed two birds (barely seen on the far left of this photo above) as we passed the area of the shore that is an orgasmic retreat for the fossil lovers at our local museum.  The dirt is like cement, so only the most dedicated would dig for fossils here.

I was concerned about the setting sun since our canoe cannot be seen by motor boats very easily.  Hubby handed me some bow lights and I spent a concerted effort while bouncing on a small chop trying to attach them under the lip of the bow in front of me.  Finally I was successful and when I tried to turn this red/right green/left light on I pushed and pulled without success.  I called back in frustration after my painful efforts.  Hubby explained with a carefree smile that that he had been having trouble pushing the light switch as well!  So we scooted on into the gray light without lights.

We pulled into a quiet beach that was exposed at low tide just to poke and explore and say a blessing for another day.

The beach was initially quiet and colored shells and pebbles decorated the shore.

I was just beginning to enjoy the end of the day when two energy addicted folks crossed the sunset with more enthusiasm than I have seen in quite a while.  Why am I the only one whose account is empty of energy?

I sat on a log and it groaned open mouthed.  No sympathy here.

Finally we got the sunset we were waiting for to recharge our spirit.

And just like an Olympic warrior in celebration of a great challenge hubby held the torch high as we made our way home.

The Rural Gourmet.

Yesterday, I had just finished weeding the rain garden on the grounds of the nearby museum, and since I did not look too grubby, I stopped by a grocery that I rarely use to pick up some basic food items.

During this quick visit, something caught my eye.  As I passed the freezer cases I saw white 3-gallon plastic buckets of something sitting on the bottom of the case.  My curiosity got the better of me and I paused to read the top of the label and it said simply 'pork chitterlings'.  I was not exactly sure what these are, but I did not think they were probably healthy and I was sure they were a 'southern thing'.  It is a good-old-boy county that I live in after all.

If you Google images of pork chitterlings you will get photos of what look like little gray white slimy unappetizing grubs.  If you go further in research you will see that this food, sometimes called chitlins, is pig intestines.  To be a more accurate connoisseur...they are from the SMALL intestine.  Boy that makes me feel mouth watering better.  While I feel free to denigrate this food on my blog and might assume it is the food of poor people since it was given to slaves in our early history,  my research reveals that it is eaten everywhere across the globe.  I know that the French eat strange animal body parts...but this part of the pig is eaten EVERYWHERE!  Yet I still wonder why someone would need three gallons of it!

Nutritionally these rubber tubes are high in calories from fat.  What a surprise.  They get a C- in nutritional value but since their preparation requires detailed attention due to the fact they carry salmonella and e-coli, maybe weight issues are of no concern.  After a bit of e-coli, you can be very thin.

I did read that in the U.S. a small onion is added to mitigate what might be an unpleasant odor when it is cooked.  Really.  An unpleasant odor...wonder why?  When you have to add an ONION to erase odors...well, enough said!  I do not think I will be eating these in my future.

Now before my readers put me in the food snob column, as a small child I loved pickled pigs feet and did eat them as a snack with my dad.  Of course,  we were farm folk and food was never thrown out.  But when the pigs were slaughtered, I am sure we did not eat chitterlings.  We did have our standards.

Bigger is Better(?)

(This post is not about what you are thinking so get a grip, although bigness in certain parts of our bodies is another part of the problem.)

I think it is big that has got me in my funk this month.  Everything is big these days...too big.  A bigness that is suffocating in its presence is everywhere.  In America we are big on big.  (I am also not talking about the size of our butts, but that is certainly an area we can claim as big.)  I am talking about other types of big.  Americans go to big box stores to buy...big boxes of stuff that is essential to our lives.  We then buy bigger shelves to store all our big boxes.  When we run out of shelves we rent big walk-in storage units on the other side of town to store even more of our stuff.  Stuff that we will get to someday.  Stuff that we may use someday.

Appliances are certainly bigger as is furniture.  We have to have lots of food and then larger chairs to fit those butts in place.  Even airlines are adjusting for bigger weight and bigger butts.

Prior to the housing collapse, big houses, called MacMansions and named after the Big Macs of our culture, were the dream to strive for.  I have mentioned before that I live down the road from a lottery winner and I actually think she now regrets her big foyer in her lovely mansion.  She explained to me one day that she feels intimidated when entering her own house!  When I built this house that I now live in, I was a Sarah Susanka fan.  I bought all her books.  She is an architect and the author of "Creating the Not so Big House."  She was all the rage back in 1998, which to me was not so long ago, but to the younger people ages ago. Her philosophy is to build a home that nurtures spirit rather than simply impresses with scale.  She writes about these "impersonal storage containers" we build that are "only the hollowness of the promise of bigger is better."  Anyway, I digress.

Our American society wants big in each and every way.  Our Presidential Election is now mired in big spending.   The DNC spent 70.8 million by this past June and the RNC spent 38.8 million over a similar time.  We still have months to go!  Figuring in all types of spending from those amazing super PACs on this election and the numbers come close to 2 billion dollars!  Such jaw dropping numbers must fill other countries with terrifying awe, especially since we are in the midst of a global recession.  Imagine what you or I could do with this money to improve the fate of a few citizens or perhaps an entire country!

I watched a Sundance documentary the other day about the Barnes Foundation outside of Philadelphia.  This collection of multimillion dollar art had been housed outside the city where it could be available only to those who could appreciate its beauty and rareness as an educational foundation.  The founder and owner was aghast at how rich people used art like wallpaper and he wanted to prevent that by making the art available to small groups of those who truly loved art and keeping it set in a home where it could be savored.  Upon his death the movie indicated that big philanthropists such as Pew and Annenberg (yes those good guys who had wanted to get their hands on this collection for decades) manipulated the system without using much of their money but most of their power to get the collection moved to the city where it could be housed in a new art museum paid for by the taxpayers.  I will not argue whether this was wise or philanthropic, but I will say that they were able to overcome the wishes in the owner's will and the will of those who loved and worked for years on the collection without including them in the decision making process.  They were Big rich, they influenced state politicians, and even though it went to court, they got what they wanted.  They were Big.

Do I even need to rant at all on Big corporations?   Time and our sighs as emotional fear has left the building have given us perspective.  We now know that the creation of derivatives, another name for selling junk paper, by big banks and big investment firms, are what brought this country into this horrible recession.  Time has shown that it is not the greed of the home buyers, nor the high pensions of retirees, that caused this debt.  Big Wall Street has gotten off free to continue to find new ways to fleece big money from all of us.  The dirty paper they sold to pension funds as far away as Australia and as close as your nearby city, has resulted in elected officials and board members being fined and/or sent to jail and towns becoming bankrupt, while bankers and wall street paper pushers are left to get bigger.  It is hard to follow the money trail, but it is not the greed of the little guy that started this nor finished it. 

And you can complain all you want about the subsidized food program for the poor, but Uncle Sam has made sure that Big Corporations do NOT get cut in this.

 J.P. Morgan even insults us by outsourcing their management of the Food Stamp phone bank to India because it is cheaper.

As far as I am concerned, nothing in this country is too big to fail, and Congress may even make sure it is the U.S. government that goes bankrupt if they refuse to pass budget bills this fall.  I guess they agree with me.  After all, Iceland filed criminal charges against it three Big banks and has come out on the other side way ahead of the Euro crises. 
 

"But others deem that Iceland’s purge of its financial sector has been a success. For his part, Hauksson, who hopes to finish his task by 2015, hopes that Iceland, whose economy is gradually recovering, will one day “look behind and be proud of being able to learn the lessons of the past.”

As he told Le Monde, “I don’t know of any similar procedure conducted in anywhere else the world, and our work has shown the extent to which the banking system that was put in place was a far cry from what we imagined it to be."

Now I am going to go make me a small cup of tea...it is 4:30 in the morning here!
(I have to really stop writing this way, my followers have begun to drop!)

Groaning

I have nothing to write really.  Friko would like something humorous to read, as would many bloggers, because life just seems a little too depressing right now.  But I cannot write humor at will.  My mood has a little to do with an acquaintance who's daughter fell to her death from the roof of a building in New York recently.  It was accidental as she was talking on the phone.  I also lost a distant friend who died of cancer within weeks of symptoms after a return from a vacation to Hawaii.  I was not close to either of these people which certainly does not diminish the importance of their lives in anyway nor keep their family from my thoughts.

I read on the Internet where global climate change has increased the intensity of the storms and climate scientists are now seeing moisture thrown up 60,000 feet from these storms which is blowing holes in the ozone layer of our atmosphere.  Extremely dangerous to our health.  A reality that is inconvenient to those who think it is God's will.  I think this God threw up his hands long ago and is now overseeing another planet.

I also read where climate change is causing more dangerous anomalies and  "If global warming approaches 3°C by the end of the century, it is estimated that 21-52% of the species on Earth will be committed to extinction (3). "   If you love watching your head explode over multiple graphs with bad news, read the above article from the Columbia University Earth Institute.  If not, just take my word for it...we are in deep doo-doo.

I cannot watch TV because both Presidential candidates realize that negative ads are much better than actually focusing on solutions to problems. Of course, if Obama focuses on the accomplishments he made in spite of a constipated Congress, he is accused of bragging in dire times.  And facts be damned.

The Internet is filled with discussions about schizophrenia and automatic weapons with neither side even bringing forth ideas of worth.  Banning automatic weapons...really??

There is a very good chance that food next year will cost 5% more due to the global drought.  Since I need food more than Television, I called Comcast and asked them to drop all my premium channels immediately and the sports package that my SOL added over a year ago.  (He had to watch games while he visited!)  I saved over $54.00 a month with that little move.  You can close you mouth before you catch a fly. 

On a lesser note, I planted sunflower seeds not once, but twice this summer, and lost 99% to deer, ground hogs, rabbits, and a tiny cutworm that I found at the bottom of one seedling tray.  I gave up.  No sunshiny yellow happy faces to improve my mood in the simmering days of summer.

Yes I could focus on all my many, many blessings...but right now I want to moan and groan...so shoot me.

Peace.

New Hampshire baby waterfall

Mainly Maine

Just  few of the photos so that those readers who have been so generous with their interest in my travels can get a feel of the State of Maine.

How the top 1% live in Maine where they get a view of the harbor at Bar Harbor, Maine.

A not very good photo of the red fox that was intrigued by the sound of children laughing and chasing in the nearby playground.

A public beach in Maine. Water in the ocean was still pretty cool!

John D. Rockefeller put his millions to good use by purchasing the area above Bar Harbor which became Acadia National Park.

This view in the photo above is from the highest point in Acadia looking back toward the town of Bar Harbor.

And we never were hungry as blueberries were in abundance wherever the soil was boggy enough!

Random One-Liners

Some comments (in no order as my granddaughter is talking to me industriously while I type) on the trip and also in answer to a few questions:

• No we did not take in the play on PEI as Hubbie wasn't into that so much but I bought the Anne trilogy and am going to re-read it.
• The natural area where the author grew up on PEI was small and surrounded by a golf course, which sort of took away some of the atmosphere.
• I was also a "little" disappointed at how much potato, wheat and barley agriculture covered all of the island and how little natural park area was left.
• On the other hand, PEI has lots of nice beaches and lighthouses!
• The bear sign was both a warning and temptation on the bog walk in Maine and we used it that way.
• We did see a lynx on the ski trail while walking down after riding the ski lift up in New Hampshire and it did not see us.
• We also drove by the lake where "On Golden Pond" was filmed, and it was no more lovely than all the other New Hampshire lakes.
• We did not take the zipline down from the mountain at the ski resort which was long and very fast and kind of ominous in its whine.
• I also saw a large red fox checking out the playground of children one morning outside our hotel in Maine.
• I did not see any moose, unfortunately.
• I used to not like lobster but this trip I could not get enough and due to the warm summer there was an abundance.
• We were a little sad that it was NOT much cooler as we drove north, and global warming was showing its teeth.

Signs of This Time

My trip north through Maine toward Prince Edward Island and back through New Hampshire provided lots of opportunities for photos, many of which I have deleted upon my return already.  I will not bore you with them all, but here are a few that certainly reflect the area and are very different from what I might see in my neck of the woods.

Best place for breakfast in Bar Harbor.

Great place for a lobster roll at the ferry crossing.

Quote of Lucy Maud Montgomery, author of Anne of Green Gables.  Taken where she grew up.

Enough said...or written!

There were no skiers that I could see!

We didn't, but there were plenty of places where we could!

Back!

Yep, I am back.  Up to my ears in laundry, mail and yardwork.  Those of you who travel know exactly what this means.  Adventures are great, but it is wonderful to be home even if facing lots of work and more heat.  The very last day on our return we were stuck for two hours (no exaggeration) crossing the George Washington Bridge in NY.  Only one lane was closed for repair, but that caused a major crisis it appears.  So glad I do NOT live in the city.  Going off to read all the posts I have missed and not posting for some time it appears as I have to cover as babysitter this weekend (again!).

Aloha

Just a quick decision to head up north where the weather is cooler.  First there is a visit with friend in Connecticut and then further north until we spend a few days (too few) at PEI.  Maybe we will find it compelling enough to return and spend longer time.  Of course the weather here is dropping into the high 80's!  I have not decided whether to take my laptop, so posting may not be available.  So, Aloha, which means both hello and goodbye.

Freedom

There are so many freedoms we enjoy in this country.  The freedom of the press, the freedom to assemble, the freedom to travel where we wish in this country without having to present papers at state or city border crossings, the freedom to study and read what we wish, the freedom to pursue a career, the freedom to raise a family of as many children as we wish, the freedom to speak our mind, the freedom to divorce, the freedom to marry, the freedom to live where we want, the freedom to have personal privacy protected unless warranted by authority and so many other freedoms.  But freedom is a very fragile entity and it is certainly not free.  It is the responsibility of each and every citizen to stand up for these freedoms for everyone in this country and to be fearless in doing so.

I Done Something Right

This is a post my son put on his FB page today.  He has been without power since late Friday and probably will not get power until the coming weekend.   I read his post and had to share with my Blogger friends because I think he has it right on.

 "1.6 Billion people live without electricity everyday. That's roughly a quarter of the population. You still have clean water, available food, and natural gas. Get some perspective, people. You have been coddled and lulled into a state of flacid luxury, and your complaints mock the very global humanity you ignore everyday. Likely, you have done nothing to help build the infrastructure that lets you see this very post, yet at it's first failure, you cry foul. You are standing on the shoulders of giants and complaining of the view. Be thankful for what you have, and be thankful for the crews from around the country who have come help to restore.  If you have an elderly neighbor, stop by and check on them. Take the money you are saving on electricity and consider helping others get cleaner electricity: http://www.solar-aid.org/
or help those closer to home by donating to the United way: http://www.unitedway.org/ or the Red Cross: www.redcross.org.   I hope you all are well, and am proud you have read this far. Pedestal detachment commencing."

When it rains...when is it going to rain?

When it rain it pours...or not.  I was complaining about the fires in Colorado.   The storm that roared through our area a few days ago and which has left a large number of people in Maryland and Virginia without power in 99 degree heat, passed over us around midnight without dropping much rain, downing only a few large branches, which, of course, fell directly on the one bed that seems to have survived rabbits, ground hogs and drought, and leaving us with power!  We never lost power!  Tell that to my PC.  It lost its power and is now at the Geek doctor's.  Therefore posting will be intermittent until I pay what they wish or exchange my first born.  This global warming with it increase in intensive storms and weather patterns is a bugger!

Bewildered and Wiping Away the Tears

I taught in Carson Colorado for a year many years ago.  This is just outside of the city of Colorado Springs.  I hiked and skied the nearby mountains and know the area pretty well.  I do not know people there now, but it does not diminish the tears that I am shedding for these families running from this terrible and very large fire.  I have a brother and SIL in Boulder and am hoping so hard that this fire stops soon.  Droughts and heat and an angry planet.  I have another brother outside of Fort Collins who is still safe from the fire they say they have contained.  Worry follows me everywhere these days.

The Truth Will Set You Free.

Get the facts.

Epiphany...Ask the Peanut Gallery

I just realized that I have a reasonable number of readers who slog follow along with my convoluted elaborate writing, egocentric ideas and pithy conclusions.  Not all blogs can master all three of the above as successfully as I seem to do.  So then  Therefore, I had this epiphany.  These readers, you-all, are a source of ideas, wisdom and free advice.  When I have a bold decision to make and I am beginning that journey of weighing the pros and cons on some project, I should perhaps ask the pros in the ether-sphere what they suggest.  (I want to warn you that I rarely end up taking good advice, and my life has been richly rewarded with many roadblocks along the way as a result of that.)

As I mentioned a post ago, I am in the process of replacing my 1998 Mazda 626 car.  I loved this car the day I purchased it and it has only recently been giving me difficulty.  It is in reasonably good enough condition (the photo above is not my car---my car has a few dents and dings) with >130,000 miles on it, but I am mentally ready for something a little larger and envious of all those nice new technological things like Bluetooth and GPS which will take me years to figure out how to use.  A working radio would also be a nice surprise since mine works only on and off these days.  Although I am moving away from the endless number of infant and toddler chairs that keep getting put in the back seat, as you know my son is getting married in the distant future, if mother nature agrees there will be more little grandchildren then I must keep this in mind.  So, I am keeping two of the 3 infant seats in storage!  The third goes to the church store.

I do not want to spend more than 30K and much less if I can get away with it.  I have always bought the truly lower end cars because of budget constraints---which I am sure I will get a nice nod from you-all, but this time I think I should reward myself with something a little nicer.  I spend 16,800 K on the Mazda that many years ago!   (Here she goes talking about MONEY again!)

I have researched the hybrids a little and a mechanic has told us they are a bear to fix if something goes wrong.  Therefore total electric cars are out of the picture.  I would like to buy American, but many Asian cars are really made to a great extent in America, so that broadens the picture.  I do not care about looks, but I do care about safety, reliability and comfort and a good view from that blind spot window on both sides!

If any of my readers have a car they recently purchased or know about that they love...please tell me about it in your comments.  I, in return, will give you all the free advice you want this year!

Money, Money, Money

Father's Day shone forth a clean light on my son's immediate future plans.  While we knew he was serious about this sweet woman he was dating, as parents we carefully kept the conversations to the general and casual.  He now admits that he is saving for a ring and will probably propose sometime this fall and wedding plans are most likely to occur around the 4th of July in the year ahead.  While it is a relief that he now discusses these important events so openly with us, I am now realizing I have to plan a budget as I was going to replace my car this winter.


For my daughter's wedding (which was a somewhat elaborate affair) we contributed 1/3, the in-laws 1/3 and the married couple themselves 1/3 of the cost.  My daughter's in-laws are New Jersey people and while reality television tends to overdo the colorful culture there, big weddings are a necessity it appears.  Some seemed to feel that the wedding won't hold unless there is a large crowd in a fancy hotel dancing the night away.  Therefore, her wedding was held in a fancy catholic church in Washington, DC (neither hubby nor I are Catholic) and the evening reception was held in a ballroom of one of the largest hotels in Washington, DC.  Hubby and I held the line to the lower end of the 5-figure amount which we donated, as we are much more practical and just couldn't give more without acid indigestion for a one-day ceremony.  My daughter attended another wedding that summer in New York City where the budget for the flowers alone was $50,000!  I guess it is all a matter of perspective and values and disposable income.  At that wedding, with flowers everywhere, I understand both sets of parents of the bride and groom were barely speaking to each other and the priest almost had to perform some kind of intervention.  He actually lectured both parents (in a polite way) at part of the ceremony!  Yeah, there is some satisfaction in the rich being so dysfunctional.

Maybe we were just out of touch and each generation is less conservative than the prior.  Lord knows my wedding cost less than $1,000...food, flowers, dress and all.  But I was a poor graduate student and my parents did not offer to help when I told them I was engaged.  Perhaps because I didn't want to spend what little money I had on flying home from Hawaii for a home wedding since most of my (our) friends were there at school and our first jobs were taking us even further out into the South Pacific.  Although I must admit that both of us were surprised when neither of our parents felt they could spend the time or money to attend!  Yeah this IS a tragic story of the strange ways depression era old folks lose sight of what is important, but we survived and still talked to them after we got hitched and our marriage survived without a ballroom and is now 42 years old.  Years ago my sister and her husband eloped to Vegas...so  much for ceremony there.  Yes, they are still married and could actually have afforded a huge wedding as they are both attorneys.

Anyway, I told my son we would give him the same amount of money that we gave my daughter and he could use it any way that he wished toward the wedding, honeymoon, or savings for a larger house someday.  Perhaps we should add an inflation adjustment to that?  I try to be fair, but in all honesty my daughter and her husband make lots of money while my son and his future wife do not and I tend to be more sympathetic to that.

Hubby and I are comfortable in our retirement and we can be reasonably generous, so with great thankfulness we appreciate our situation.  But I also know that money can be a poisonous thing whether you have it or not.