Battle Strategy Follow-up---War With the Cardinal

I got the most comments ever on my Battle with the Cardinal post and thus feel obligated to write a follow-up.

Since the rubber snake worked to dissuade the cardinal on the bedroom window last year, I move it to the dining room bay window ledge. Then I g0t the plastic life-size owl that had broken away from its pole down on the dock and put him on the deck next to the lower part of the deck window, Mr. Cardinal's second favorite spot. ( I just have to remember to cover the bottom hole in the hollow plastic owl with duct tape to avoid the wasps using it as a nesting cave!

I searched the internet for photos of owl eyes and printed out two in extra large size that look intimidating, at least to me. One photo I tape to the inside of the dining room window and the other I tape to the inside of the kitchen window. Several days passed and still no cardinal has re-appeared.  I am not totally convinced I have won the war...just this phase which will last who knows how long?

I should explain that prior to this battle strategy implementation my husband and I took advantage of a cool day or two and washed the windows!  Dear me, we have put the fate of all in the hands of the Cardinal as the windows are now sparkling clean and can reflect his image perfectly.


Then we went away on a short trip and I returned to find Mr. Crazy Cardinal back pecking at the windows about the kitchen sink.  Clearly the glaring owl eyes do not work there.  Next stop is to find some kind of spinning device or flag to see if that keeps him wary.

Art One Oh One

I have been learning a new software and have gotten totally addicted to creating "artwork" with it.  Here is my stella-de-oro Japanese style, or what I think looks a little like a Japanese woodcut.  Perhaps to you it looks like a 6th grade cut and paste?


Below is the same photo processed as if found in a church.

My problem is that I do not track the steps in my post-production process to see if they can be duplicated in the next photo.  I just tweak and tweak until I like the look or hate it.

War With the Cardinal, Himself

It seems to be a moist gray morning that has come too soon.  I am awake and do not know why, but push off the light quilt and head into my dark kitchen to make coffee.  Soon the water is hot and the smell of liquid amber fills my nostrils.  I take my cup and sit on the front porch trying to shake away the fog from my mind as the rising sun begins to silhouette the tree tops.  I am wondering why I woke up so suddenly out of a restorative sleep as I sip my caffeine and enjoy the pink and blue sky in early dawn.  In a short time my reverie is interrupted.


Crows are in the right side ravine making a brass band's worth of noise in the high poplar trees.  I cannot see them, but their cawing is most annoying and unusually angry.  They are probably ganging up on an owl or hawk that has landed in the woods.  The band of crows will give him no peace until he leaves this area completely.  These home boys own the block and do not give way to anyone without regard for claws and sharp bills.  The crows' weapons are confusion and backstabbing.


I finish my coffee and head back inside.  As I reach across the coffee table to get my paperback, the morning sleep disturbance mystery is solved.  First I hear a tap, followed by tap, tap, followed by tap, tap, tap.  There, at the dining room window, is that newly grown male cardinal.  He is small but has all his adult red coloring.  He bangs at the dining room window flying up to the top until my appearance startles him and he rounds the house away from me and continues banging at the kitchen window above the sink.  He has been doing this tapping at the window for several weeks, and I have been trying to ignore him.  Except now he starts his communication before dawn!

And now there is a new twist as I see the mess on the window he has left.

I watch closely and see him hanging at the base of the window and notice that his mouth is full of some green juicy caterpillar thing.  It is so disgusting I can barely watch on my coffee stomach as it oozes insect life from his bill.  My husband mentioned he had seen a similar meal in the bird's bill yesterday  So, is this cardinal now spreading this mess across my window attempting to feed his reflection?  Is he gay and thinking this is his mate to which he offers a gift of fresh breakfast?  Is he a childless father driven by an instinct to feed that he cannot understand or control?  Or is he a pacifist and thinking this male antagonist (reflection) can be won over by an offer to break bread (bug) rather than fight?  Is he in love with me and wants to bring me gifts so that I will fill the bird's water bowl on time?  My guess is that he is just crazy!  We have that crazy cardinal gene pool thing going in our woods which you can read about here and here.


He is driving me crazy; well, crazier as well!  My windows are now covered in streaks of bug guts.  I had planned on cleaning them a few weeks past and I now pat myself on the back for my wise procrastination in the heat of summer.  Sun-baked bug protein is just what any of my few dinner guests want to see while eating a meal and observing our sunsets through the windows.

OK.  Clearly the day has started with a thrown gauntlet.  I rinse my coffee cup and begin planning a battle strategy.

The Heat Is On

The tulip poplar trees
Over a hundred feet high
Have begun to throw off
Their golden leaves
Like slow chubby strippers
Resigned to this hot dance
That comes every July.

The sun's spotlight
Obscures their sheltered stage
Of cool green leaves
And dark green shadows
Blinding the eye
With hot light
And turning green to gray sage.

Even the dark coal crows

Sit high like black tree knots

With their mouths open

Panting for some

Relief from the hot

Golden agony 

That is summer.

The bird bath is
The hot new spot.
Take a number
To shimmy on the dance floor.
And then later jitterbug
High in the poplar branches
Drops caught like confetti in the sun.

You also will dance 
If you forget that, for you, 
Shoes are required 
At this annual gala
Unless your feet laugh 
And can jitterbug over hot tar
On the pavement.

Happy 4th!

We may not always get it right, but I am so fortunate to have been born in this country.

What is Hot? Thursday Thoughts #28

My Thursday Thirteen because: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...(Colleen Redmen always gets it tight and right with her Thursday 13 and yes, I know it is not Thursday...at least on this planet.)


What is hot?

1. My back yard
2. My front yard
3. The inside of any car today
4. The new fluorescent coneflower I just bought
5. My granddaughter's temper
6. Burn Notice
7. The steam that put a nasty welt on my wrist from the crab pot
8. The angry lightning from the storm last night
9. My husband's homemade hot pepper sauce
10. Every new #-pad that comes out
11. Dolce-Gabanna men's cologne ads
12. Sam Elliott's voice (Who wouldn't be agreeable to anything he said with that sexy voice?)
13.  Oddly enough the mourning dove in my oak tree...he cannot leave her alone!  Talk about hot and bothered even though spring has long since come and gone.

The Never Ending Story

Tragedy is all in perception and even perspective. Perhaps when you are shell-shocked for years having the blood of another tragedy at your feet, in your face, or, better yet, in the neighbor's yard, you can shake your head in sorrow but move on numbly to the rest of the day without too much angst.  Your perception has narrowed and you are in survival mode.


There are many studies of the numbing that violent games produce in the game player.  There are studies of the personality shells that young children create when living in a crime ridden neighborhood or when trying to survive in an abusive family.  Our soldiers return home only to fight a battle with themselves.


For those of us who do not live where bombs are lobbed into our life on a daily basis, we get addicted to that thrill ride in the entertainment industry forgetting that life is not real in that way.  We want a bigger explosion or more bodies on the ground.  We want larger monsters and bigger weapons.  It is not enough to kill the evil villain the first time.  He keeps surviving and coming back at us again and again.   Get involved with enough shock and awe that doesn't touch you and it becomes an addictive stimulant.


I wonder if our dear Earth also becomes numb in this way.  Or are her earth quakes and weather changes the spanking we deserve?  We keep attacking her with our blundering endless ignorance.


Just to "put in perspective " this oil tragedy,  we have used the earth as an oil toilet in far greater ways, according to the June 14 issue of Newsweek.  The Deepwater Horizon oil well has thus far released 39.1 million gallons with a an outside amount of 94.2 million.  (Needless to say no one can really measure this mess.)  


BUT in:  
1978 the Amoco Cadiz which ran aground released 68 million gallons; 
1979 the Atlantic Empress tanker collision spilled 88.3 million gallons; 
also in 1979 the IXTOC blowout took 10 months to cap and released 140 million gallons; 
1983 the Nowruz which hit an oil platform spewed 80 million gallons; 
1988 the Osyssey broke in half and released 48 million gallons (but far offshore in another neighborhood); 
1989 Exxon Valdez released 10.9 million gallons--the largest in U.S. waters until now
And finally in 1991, the Gulf War Iraqi forces released 252-336 million gallons when they retreated from Kuwait.


See, this is a never ending story.  Aren't you excited?

The Questionnaire

Questionnaire

1.  How much poison are you willing to eat for the success of the free market and global trade?  Please name your preferred poisons.


2.  For the sake of goodness, how much evil are you willing to do?  Fill in the following blanks with the names of your favorite evils and acts of hatred.


3.  What sacrifices are you prepared to make for culture and civilization?  Please list the monuments, shrines and works of art you would most willingly destroy.


4.  In the name of patriotism and the flag, how much of our beloved land are you willing to desecrate?  List in the following spaces the mountains, rivers, towns, farms you could most readily do without.


5.  State briefly the ideas, ideals, or hopes, the energy sources, the kinds of security, for which you would kill a child.  Name, please, the children whom you would be willing to kill.


(Taken from Leavings  Poems by Wendell Berry.)


(And, yes, I am somewhat indecisive/dyslexic on what to do with all these blog template choices!)

Swimming in the Gene Pools

I am certainly blessed with the presence of my daughter in my life.  We live an hour and a half away, but do manage to see each other as often as possible.  I rewarded her with a belated birthday weekend at a B&B and wine tour recently.   I was pleased and somewhat surprised that we still are so in sync with our personalities and interests.  We are more alike than different.  I know this is not true with many mother/daughter relations and therefore I am truly thankful.  This weekend together flowed just like honey.  There were no glitches or differences of opinion or problems.


Her daughter, on the other hand, is very different from both of us and we recognize this in her even though she is only three.  She complains each morning about what to wear and changes at least once if not twice, even if clothes have been chosen and laid out the night before.  My daughter and I are social animals, but my granddaughter takes sociability to the top.  She calls across the street to perfect strangers telling them she is going to ballet,  this time she will not be afraid to participate and look at the nice PINK dress she is wearing.  My daughter and I did not talk to strangers so easily when we were children and we both could care less what we wore.  It was only when we discovered we were girls (probably around 13) that we decided to try to dress nicely.


She was bold and loquacious during her open house visit to her new pre-school.  She met the teachers, told them about her clothes, how she couldn't wear her Princess dress to the open house (school rules) etc.  


She is strong as steel and knows how to get what she wants.  She reduces her 5-year-old brother to tears by killing the line of ants in the backyard.  When her mother tries to get her to stop stomping on them she looks up full of conviction and says, "I don't like them!"  She is all girl.  She favors her two grandfathers over the grandmothers, and the old-timers melt like chocolate drops in the hot sun when she turns on the charm.


My daughter and I smile knowingly, but also know she will use these charms to get what she wants from men throughout life, and we hope we can provide the skills of caution in this art of trade.  We are both fascinated by her because she is so different from us.  When I left her yesterday after dropping off her mother she asked if I was coming to see her at her swimming lesson.  I explained I had to head home to meet grandpa.  She looked down at her pretty pink shoes and then up at me and said, "But, I love you!"


The photo above is my daughter taking a picture of the impending storm as we were dropped off at the fourth and last winery of the day.  Even after drinking wine most of the day, we still managed to stop and notice the changes in the Earth.  (This post was written before Father's Day...sort of incongruous in posting it now!)

Can You Spare a Dime?

The saying that 'life can change on a dime' is familiar to many of us.  I searched the Internet to see where this expression came from.  A dime is thin.  A dime is not much money.  A dime is the smallest in size of American coins.  What does this expression mean?  Does anyone know the origin?


My life almost changed on a dime a few days ago.  After a casual running of errands and some successful plant purchases which I carefully wedged into the trunk of the car to keep them upright, I was heading down the county road toward the bridge that provides access to my side of the river.  Traffic was steady but not crowded with everyone doing 45 and keeping the correct distance.


A nasty storm was building on the distant horizon so people were probably a little eager to get to their destination.


I was following a construction truck full of equipment with three large aluminum ladders tied to the top bars above the truck bed.


Suddenly and without warning the middle ladder flew into the air and tumbled toward my car.  I hit the brakes (not too hard but steady) and pulled to the right side of the road toward the easement worrying about the cars behind me not being able to slow down and hitting my rear.  The ladder hit the pavement on one leg and did a pirouette before falling to the ground.  It then started sliding toward my front tires following me to the right even as I swerved.  Luck was on my side as the ladder came to rest just beside my car as I continued to move by it and came to a stop several yards in front of the now stationary aluminum missile which I saw in my rear view mirror.  It lay at an angle just inside the lane.  


I quickly looked in my rear view and side mirrors.  All of the cars behind me slowed suddenly and began to creep by.  The truck driver in front pulled to the side of the road and then ran back to see me.  He was a big black fellow with a heavy Southern accent.  He was so excited that I had trouble understanding him at first.  He was far more excited than I, clearly worried he might have seriously hurt me.


I reassured him that I was OK as he repeatedly apologized for not tying off the ladder more securely.  


Oddly enough I was not frightened or even concerned, just relieved that it had all happened without great incident and it wasn't until I got home that I remembered my plants were still in the trunk.  I hurried to open the trunk and was amazed to see they had remained tucked upright belying the near accident.


Yes, indeed, life can change on a dime.

The Muse

I cannot think of anything to write about. Hubby has been gone on a long trip and returning shortly.  I have gotten down to wandering around idly and taking photos of fungus in the yard. I post this. Does it stimulate any poetry in your soul. ;-)!  (How about a caption contest?)

Outrunning an Inconvenient Truth

I was trying to work through the 1,000's of photos that I keep taking and then collecting.  I was trying to be honest and delete most of them because they are worse than mediocre.  We fall in love with our mediocrity, I guess, thinking it is a bit of our immortality and representative of our pregnancy with genius in some way.  The genius that, in my case, never gets born.  Anyway, I have many bird photos and a good portion are water birds.  When I took the photo above it made me think of joy.  Running along on the beach with the wind at your back and the waves singing a song is a pleasure in life that everyone should experience.


Now, as you can guess, this photo has the feeling of impending disaster.  I hope this bird can outrun it, but I am guessing time is not on his side.

Truth Be Told

While assisting my 2-year-old granddaughter (shy of 3 by only 2 months) with her daily duties, we got to talking in the bathroom...where women always chat.  At her age they can spend quite a bit of time on the throne and therefore we must fill the time with chit chat.  (She did send me outside a time or two so she could have 'privacy', but then got lonely and called me back.)


While checking out the wallpaper, she informed me that she was a Princess.  (That is certainly the truth.)  She asked if I was a Princess and I replied, "Of course!"


She then pointed to my watch and asked what it was.  Being the former educator I went on a small lecture about watches telling the time of the day for meals and errands and how watches have become rarer because people look at the time (Mommy and Daddy for example) on their cell phones or blackberries and no longer need watches.  I explained that only old people like me still use watches and that is why she doesn't see them very often.


She looked me in the eye and said "You are not old.  You are grandma."


I was quite pleased with this comment, probably reading far more into it than I should have, because on the next downbeat, she looked at my midsection and asked,  "Are you a girl?"

Owning a Pot to **** In

A few weeks ago my husband discovered that I had accidentally purchased not one but two bags of lemons. There they sat in the fruit bin in their abundance of lemonness waiting for iced tea or fresh fish, or perhaps a guacamole.  Hubby became worried that we would forget them or ignore them and he was suddenly motivated.  He would make a lemon cream pie!


I realized that he has NEVER made a lemon cream pie and his baking skills while reasonably adept are not expert.  As he read the various recipes he realized he needed a double boiler.  This is a cooking tool he has never used.  He asked if we had one.


I have not used a double boiler in a long time and when we made the final move to this house I am afraid I got rid of any Rube Goldberg pots that would have worked as double boilers.

Now that we are retired we frequently strike when the iron is hot (to use a totally unrelated idiomatic expression).  So, we went in search of a double boiler.  We shopped at all our local venues...K-mart, Target, Wal-Mart, and Sears...none had double boilers.  No surprise as very few people even cook anymore much less cook slow food where you actually have to stand at the stove stirring for more than 5 minutes.

The next day we drove up north to the larger shopping areas looking for that over-priced but super inventoried store called Williams Sonoma.  With a name like that you almost feel as if you have to bring out the white gloves and tea hat before you peruse the shelves.  I walked in, and to avoid any dangerous perusing, went straight to a young clerk and told her I wanted the most inexpensive double boiler they had in stock.


She looked at me with wide-eyes.  "We just got them in!"


Who knew?  I had just told my husband that no one used double boilers anymore.  No one cooked slow.  She took me to the shelves that had the pot that you see in the above photo.



While it had a French brand on the label claiming that had been around for about 100 years, a more careful reading of the box revealed that it was made in China.  What isn't these days?  It was not a double pot but a single pot with an outside envelope into which you put water.  What fun!  I think.  It was much cheaper than anything hubby had found online so we took the plunge.


By the time we got back from our long drive in the late afternoon we were too tired to use it.  The next day we cooked fish and made some lemonade.  It is weeks later and we STILL have not used it!  Geesh!  Eventually I will have to see if it works.

Huh?

If you close your eyes and remember this past winter...I know you don't want to go there, but stay with me... perhaps you will remember how we escaped from my front yard with the downed trees via canoe crossing two feet of snow as we left early for a week in sunny 'tropical' Florida.  And, naturally, once we got there, warm weather...well, not so much!  It was as cold as a Minnesota fall.  Six weeks later we left once again, this time with the grandkids and their parents, for another jaunt in an attempt at finding early summer and summer was still was being held hostage somewhere down near the equator.

Our first day at the beach late last March was really not so bad...just pretty windy but not enough to blow sand in your face. We tucked behind a sand dune and when I got up to go exploring I saw this 'person' on the other side of our dune in the shelter of another little sandy hill. It was NOT that cold.  I cannot fathom what on earth he was thinking if this was the necessary costume and attitude for him to spend a day at the beach.  He should have stayed back at the condo or hotel or saved money and stayed at his home up North...or PERHAPS he was here hiding from all of his family that were holding up back at the condo avoiding the wind.  Hmmmm.  Maybe I feel sorry for him.  (This isn't you, hiding from you know who, is it?)


(Remember our troops this Memorial Day weekend if you live in the great U.S.A.)

Moving in and Out.

Cleaning out the garage the other day I decided to wash out all those buckets and containers full of gardening stuff.  Resealed or re-wrapped all the bags of fertilizer and growth enhancers.  I re-wound my balls of string and collected some plant identifiers for my files.  After a thorough cleaning, I painted the handles of the brown garden tools a fluorescent green primarily to use up some leftover paint on the shelves.  Then I took those pruning shears and others with moving parts and proceeded to cover them with W-D 40 to stave off new rust.  I even spent some time sharpening the edges of the cutting tools!  Well, pat me on the back!


I keep a small green plastic wastebasket full of plastic stakes and small bamboo poles in the corner by the garage door and it was full of stuff so I decided to empty it all out onto the lawn and get things really organized.  The item in the photo below fell out on the lawn as I began my project.  Nice to see I had some temporary spring (winter?) neighbors!

How to Run a Volunteer Program

Volunteers are like full blown roses.  They arrive with energy and expectations (perhaps inaccurate), but expectations none the less, that their time donated to you is valuable.  They are somewhat overwhelming in their eagerness to help.  They may only last a short time in this full bloom of volunteering if they get bored or realize they are only doing something tedious.  Here are just a few basic rules that will keep your relationship with your volunteers running smoothly.

1) Have a consistent and clear schedule but be flexible because you are getting free help.  Pretend that you think their time is valuable even if they are old retired farts.

2) Provide a tour of the facility and make sure you introduce and re-introduce staff over time.  Us older folks cannot remember a name to save our life.

3) It might be a good idea to assign the volunteer to a specific staff person (and a back-up) so that they know who to go to when they get there each time.  It is not courteous to have them stand around grinning at people until they catch someone's eye.


4) Be cheerful and start a small conversation each time they arrive so that they feel welcome.  Don't act distracted even though you are busy, just two to three minutes of cheerful exchange should suffice.  Whatever you do, do not give them the deer in the headlights look when they show up and then look around for someone else to help.


5) Always have something for them to work on.  Try to fit the activity to their expertise and interests if at all possible.  Do not waste their time by going around to other staff asking if they have anything to give the volunteer to do.


6)  And the absolutely most important tip is if you do not need volunteers be honest about that.  Take their name and phone number and tell them you may call them in the future.  Do not feel guilty in turning them away.  Women are particularly bad about this!


The advantages of volunteering in a library is you get to see all the new stuff first, you get to peruse the collection when you read shelves and it is amazing what libraries have today.  You had forgotten, perhaps, that videos, CDs, DVDs, books, magazines, etc. are all for the checking and free!  You have access to dozens of libraries via the interlibrary loan system, so chances are you will be able to get anything you want if you are patient.


Needless to say, my decision to help out at the local library which I began to do this winter is not working out as well as I had hoped.  I encountered some of the issues I mentioned above.  I also overlooked the fact that most of my work would involve moving books and re-shelving books and reading shelves for misplaced or lost books and other media.  I told myself that this re-enforced my Dewey and alphabetical skills and strengthened my biceps and laterals.  I tried to remember some yoga stretches and moves when I got up off the floor after reading the lowest shelves with my trifocals tilted for an extended time .  I was somewhat limited in this yoga moves partnering as I did not want to scare the customers.  I also found it necessary to stifle my groans as I tried to get up with books in hand.  Most days I pretend that they really are happy to see me and a few of them are.  But I if I do not like this as much as I hoped I guess I will be looking for a new volunteer activity in the future.
As a post script when a volunteer leaves you might want to ask them a few questions such as: 1) Will they be volunteering elsewhere? 2) What did they like about this volunteer experience?  3)What didn't they like?  

Spilled Fortune

If you are the kind of optimistic person who carefully plants seeds in the cold dark days of late winter and places them on heating pads under grow lights only to be disappointed that a tiny 30% actually germinate, be patient.  My husband's Thai Pepper plants spent 6 weeks in the little pots of seedling soil, and just as he was ready to toss them all into the compost pile, they perked their green pointy heads to the surface.  They germinated!


Another reason to be optimistic is when accidents happen.  I spent much time planting outside on the patio a few weeks later and put my little trays of seedlings from various annuals and a few perennials in the cold frame and watched them with intense love and interest as spring came and went.  One one of the breezy spring days I had accidentally spilled some seeds on the patio, and I cannot remember what they were.  I just remember the little envelope escaped my hands.  Looks like all that nurturing and care are not really necessary.  When a plant is ready to grow it will survive almost anywhere.

I will be most intrigued to see what these turn out to be if they actually bloom!  (They are looking more and more like baby bok choy...darn!  Looks like hubby spilled some seeds as well since he does the vegetables.  We had to clean the patio and thus it looks like these all went out the little holes.)

Regurgitation

When you have nothing in your fried brain it is nice to be able to regurgitate your brilliance that was dumped onto the Internet in prior posts by linking to it. The recent headlines about Nashville brought to mind a post of mine that I have linked to once before about a challenge I faced when I was younger and stronger.  For some antique knowledge of that time go here.  Some of you have been readers for a long time and I am thankful but this may be an old story for you.

An Abundance of Richness Today

Make some tea or some cool lemonade and come walk with me though my spring garden. I am REALLY lucky this spring that not much has eaten, destroyed or killed my beautiful flowers. So I am enjoying them, because like any experienced gardener, I realize these beauties are most temporary.  I wish I could pick a bouquet and bring them right over!