Friday, October 16, 2009
Autumnal Reverie
I am back in my quiet and familiar home but still feeling a bit disoriented. Both of these recent trips, the one to Colorado and the one to North Carolina, sort of came about like a haphazard fall of dominoes being back to back. They were planned but somehow took place like rushing river falls...both of which I saw on each of my journeys. My visit with my family was sweetly sad as we gathered together one afternoon to distribute the ashes of both of my parents and part of the ashes of my sweet younger sister who passed away a number of years ago. There was both laughter and tears and not much formal ceremony. We are not a formally religious family and calmly accepting of the way our lives have gone. The ashes now rest on the side of a mountain with a view of the fall valley, facing a regal mountain in an area that we all love, and in the evening the ceremony was blessed over a couple of bottles of Malbec.
I feel the closeness of the impermanence of time which hangs like a damp cloth about my shoulders when I return from unfamiliar territory. This bittersweet feeling is stronger because my husband left today for Indonesia and will be gone for many weeks. It is a small project from which he will make no money, but a project that he believes will help their government move into networking ecological projects. I love him enough to let him fly far away when he needs that. We put our heads together before he left to see what house errands could be completed before his departure.
I now move alone through the rooms unpacking and making piles of laundry and sorting piles of unread mail, which will help fill the coming days. The weather is sublimely misty and cold and seems in sync with my feelings.
House plants in pots, just a few this year, have been moved inside and back to their space by the breakfast corner windows and if the weather clears I will load some of the split wood into the wheelbarrow and move it to a rack by the porch. Then I will pull out the zinnias and other vines that need to be cleared. While I was gone I received a box of 50 new narcissus bulbs and a few allium bulbs that need to find homes in the yard and that will take another afternoon.
For the cool evenings that are to come I will fill by sorting and working with my many photos of the fall colors in the Blue Ridge and Great Smokies that filled me with joy as I took them. I also will smile as I review the photos of the animals, large and small, that let us visit their neck of the woods. I also have a grandchildren sitting job next week and that will make the week seem much less lonely and briefly crazy full.
My life is rich and made richer by the thoughtful comments on my blog while I was away.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
She Is Never Home Anymore
In the meantime check out Jarielyn (cool name huh?) as she took up the five words meme baton from me a few days ago. She is a most creative writer, photographer and also is cuter than a ...well cute! Also, if you get bored, drop by my other blog for more posts on hiking in the beautiful Rocky Mountains.
Keep a place by fire, I'll be back.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Authentic Ski Town---Not
The town has now morphed into a cutsey Yuppieville of boutiques and high-end souvenir shops complete with one of the best French bakeries in the state. The owners are very much French and the American waitress told me she had learned all the bad words of the language from the couple when they argued with each other during the day. Passionate couple I guess. The crepes are wonderful and the beignets are like sugar and air as they melt in your mouth. Forget the diets all ye who enter here. There are plenty of uncrowded restaurants in mid-September offering a wide variety of food.
We ate lunch on this patio at a Thai restaurant that was not run by Thai but served reasonably authentic food. I could have been eating anywhere including my city with the choices. The only genuine experience left was the dramatic view of the mountains on either side of the town. There were HUGE parking lots just outside of town where they shuttled people to the lift or into town. It must be a nightmare here during the ski season. (For all the hiking fun that I had on this trip you have to check out my other blog.)
Interestingly, everyone walking around this place looks young, healthy and like they have a trust fund!
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Five Words That Changed My Life
brave: I have learned bravery by allowing/making myself to live in other cultures in other countries with people who do not speak my language. To be removed from all that you know and to have your ideas and beliefs challenged on a daily basis and to be forced to really think about communication as a means of solving problems, is a brave way of living. To survive this challenge and allow yourself to change is also brave and I think I have successfully traveled through that fire.
epitaph: This word is the scariest for me, but not because I fear dying. I just think that there is not much I have done that is memorable in this life. I have tried to live a good and honest life but that in itself is not worthy of a memorable epitaph. To me an important epitaph means you have changed the lives of others for the better in a significant way. I hope I still am granted a few more decades to work this out!
imagination: Having an imagination that is active and fertile is important in any life. I imagined that I would travel, I imagined that I would raise a beautiful (if not perfect) family and I imagined that I would be reasonably happy. When you believe in what you imagine you work out the issues and you change your approach and adjust your goals so that this can all come true. I think I have not allowed my imagination to run away with me, but I have allowed it to soar so that I can always have a long-term vision of the goals ahead. Imagination is a very important tool in life.
salute: The image that this word brought instantly to my mind was when some of the Republicans made fun of how Clinton saluted his marine staff, clearly showing he was not part of the military. When I see this word I remember when I allowed the conservatives to take my patriotism away from me. I allowed myself to question how I was showing my real feelings for our soldiers and I regret that. Now I know that I have always supported our troops and that all of our brave troops are both conservative and liberal in their philosophies. Being true to my beliefs does not make me unpatriotic any more than wearing a flag on my lapel makes me a patriot.
tempest: Over the years I have learned that I hate tempests and now I always avoid them. Tempests created by crazy relatives with bad habits or self-centered and insecure co-workers are the worst! Ninety-nine percent tempests are false and artificially created to distract and dismay. The only real tempests are those that have to do with the weather. My philosophy these days is to listen to and to share my time with those who can remain calm in the eye of the storm. The storm will pass and you will notice that things will be much the same if the tempest is not real.
(Want me to send you five words?)
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Working for the Soul
We have now cleared the leaning and/or dead trees that rested against each other and formed a sheltered structure for the wild roses that in turn learned to climb to the tops of the lovely and healthy maples, dogwood, and holly trees and shaded them from sun. I pruned limbs and prickly vines and then piled them beside the road in the clearing. We had piles of dead wood and piles of scratchy brush all of which was later gathered in our arms and placed in the old wooden trailer we use for hauling large amounts of 'stuff'. Hubby bravely climbed on top and did the elephant dance to smash it all down so that we could grab more armfuls and put on top once again.
Frequently the angry roses would grab our butts and legs refusing to be dumped. I still have a tiny thorn in my arm that will have to fester its way to the surface.
Hubby and I argued about what wood to take to the dump and what to cut into firewood. We have enough firewood to last through the winter of 2012, so I was inclined to get rid of much of the wood. (This will ensure that global climate change really will be global warming.) This photo is just one of the long piles we have waiting for the first cold weather. The problem is that some of this wood is old and some still too new for burning and in our dedicated rhythm we were not as careful in stacking as we should have been.
The wrens and the flickers were not happy that we took away so much dead wood, but eventually forgave us when they saw how may broken tree stumps we left behind for them to poke through. They will have a rich larder of wood insects through the coming snows. We also left enough small bush areas for the mice and other small animals to find shelter.
The free crepe myrtle that was planted at the end of my flower bed two years ago got moved with the help of Pedro. He works for a landscape company and knows exactly how to dig and move small trees. The shape of the crepe was not long and lean but more like an umbrella-shaped weeping willow, and therefore, taking up too much flower bed space. We (actually Pedro and hubby did the work) also joined the two flower beds and I now have a good sunny place to transplant my scattered roses this fall. (More work!)
After these past three days, the old joints ache with fatigue and overuse and my arms are scratched as if I had wrestled with a mountain cat, but soaking in my jacuzzi in the late afternoon before starting dinner was a reward enjoyed so much more because of my hard work. I am thankful that I do not hate hard work. I am thankful that the goal is its own reward for me. Besides, now I don't have to do any exercises this week!
Monday, October 05, 2009
The Wireless Web
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Looking Back Through the Looking Glass
When I was about fourteen I read "The Dairy of Anne Frank" and it captured me totally. As an adult I re-read the diary and was even more impressed by the beauty of her writing and the terrible tragedy that she could not live to realize her full potential.
The context of this video is compelling and this has certainly made me pensive for the rest of this day.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Happy Harvest
Hubby spent time cutting the large pieces of wood into manageable size for our small wood-burning fireplace. We now have enough cut wood (some even split) for at least three winters. That is good, because much of this needs drying and aging time. I loaded each log into the wheelbarrow and pushed to the wood pile where I spent careful time stacking. The process is something like building a rock wall in that wood pieces must be selected according to shape and size before placing on the pyramid of wood. Once it is all stacked it makes an interesting wall.
This afternoon I am harvesting the last of the garden. We do not have too many more days of growing weather with the cool nights. I have made enough pesto, roasted tomato sauce, and frozen enough beans to make me feel very full of food already.
Our fridge is now full of salsa and pickled hot peppers to warm us in the coming cold nights.
My project this evening is shredding the 30 or so carrots that, while not very pretty, do have a reasonably sweet flavor and will make delicious carrot cake. (I have admitted defeat on the large box of spaghetti squash which is stored in our basement and will accept that the mice may get to much of it before us.)
Tomorrow I am going to try "Butternut Squash au Gratin" from a recipe sent by my daughter. Add enough butter and cheese to any squash and it becomes quite delicious if no longer healthy.
I think this is going to defeat the small weight loss from my Colorado mountain hiking.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Too Much Information or Not Enough?
You will realize from this post that my family, while loving and generous of spirit, are terrible communicators. They tend to avoid the painful reality of life. It might be because they know that we cannot do anything about the painful decisions of others or it might be that sharing doesn't really ease their concerns, or perhaps they are embarrassed by the "perfect" lives that they think all the rest of us have. All of these people I have learned about below, are not blood relatives...not that that makes any difference.
I learned on this past family trip the following news. Some of it was explained only after embarrassing comments on my part because I did not know what the H*** was going on!.
My step-niece (who has no health insurance and no husband) thought she was pregnant, thought she miscarried three months later, then gave birth to a baby in her mother's house, all alone one afternoon early this summer. She had been raised on a horse farm and actually explained to me all the precautions she took, including adjusting for the fact that the water heater pilot light had broken that morning, in order to deliver this baby all by herself! The child was born safely for the mother (28 years old). After a helicopter flight to the hospital when the child had trouble breathing they discovered that the child has an incomplete brain and is missing part of the back lobes. This appears to be a genetic disorder that will mean my step-niece should not have any other children. There are those who know only too well all the terrible issues with this situation. All I know is that currently the child is off of oxygen and is eating and growing and is very precious. This mother's life has changed forever. The father of this child has four children in a current marriage and an illegitimate child from another relationship. TMI.
My step-niece's brother, a marine just back from Iraq, was goofing around with other marines this past spring and appears to have ruptured a disk and now requires spinal fusion. Thus his life is now also changed forever, probably ending his hope to enter the police force when he is released from service.
My other step-nephew from another family came with his 7-year-old daughter to a family BBQ and it wasn't until later in the evening that someone bothered to mention he has been divorced for over a year. That was when I stopped asking him if his wife was working late!
All of the rest of the gang seems to be living reasonably normal lives with normal challenges.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Astronomy Lesson
Xman explained to me that Venus was the boy and the Moon was the girl. Sounds right to me!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Casting call
Thought I would further clarify my PC situation since it is so clearly compelling to my dwindling readers. I never did get the blue screen of death. My computer just kept getting slower and kept locking up on a few software packages and I thought it was just getting too old. It still is/was a fairly functioning computer. So guess I will use it a while longer.
I thought about switching to Apple but all my software is PC...what an expense.
On a totally un-related note is anyone as disappointed as I am that they chose Julia Roberts for the "Eat,Pray,Love" movie? I know, I know...you don't really care. But I see this person as an empty headed intellectual...not an empty headed flirt. I was thinking 0f Charlize Theron, Annette Benning, even Reese Witherspoon although she is a little young. If you read the book, I am sure you have other ideas of an actress with that pixie but sincere quality.
Clearly from this post you can see how desparate I am for my PC.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Virtual Reality Update
It also appears that I have both a "mal generic A" virus and a Trojan "agent gen-x" on my PC and for the low, low price of only $89.99 they will remove it for me! Wow. They have adopted the repair model use by car dealers. We analyze for a small fee and then call you and tell you how much it will cost to repair it. Only this scenario involves NO moving parts. It is more painful this way. I got this message on Saturday (today) and so may not get my computer back until Tuesday since she (the all-knowing magician) does not get in until Monday at 2:00PM. I am totally addicted to my PC and so will have to cough up the dough to get the PC functioning again. Since it is almost 8 years old, I fully expected them to say that I needed a new one. So there is a brighter side to this scenario.
If they could tell me how I got this illness on my PC, I would be more understanding. I have so much firewall and virus protection, that I honestly thought I was inoculated until the blue screen of death.
Oh well, Monday I get to start working on those photos that I am compelled to view on the big screen. Addictions are what they are, and at least this one does not contain calories to make me fat(ter)!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Virtual Reality
HA! I repeat HA!! Only the squeaky wheel gets oiled and it took a trip to the store followed by a phone call to learn that Dr. Nerdo Repairwomen was working on it as I talked to her on the phone. They had had my computer for almost 11 days by this time! She was running diagnostics yesterday and since she is off today I will not learn anything until Friday...after 2:oo PM which is when she comes in to work.
I am glad that I am rich enough to be liviing in a house with a hubby that also has a laptop computer...which I hate. People who can use these will develop carpel and marpel and whatever before the computer overheats on their lap.
I have started to catch up on email, but am not considering any serious posting on Blogger until my baby gets back home. Maybe tomorrow I will start reading some blogs...it is dark and scary down here in the basement (where I banish my husband and force him to work in his office...).
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Dancing with Moonbeams
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Collecting Seeds
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Summer Flying By
All of these beauties graced my front yard on the day I loaded my car with suitcases to leave on this trip. They danced and danced across the grass and with each other. They will probably not be here when I return, but knowing the transience of life, I am prepared for some new beauty in nature to tuck in for a while. (This should be on my other blog, I know.)
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tag, Your It
- "a 2MB board provides 16 million colors up to 800 by 600 pixels (or 832 by 624 pixels on the Mac). If you raise the resolution of the monitor above that, you have to drop the number of colors that can be displayed at a time to 32,000 or fewer."
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Lessons Learned as Summer Comes to an End
Sometimes on a hot summer day at the pool you need to stop skipping and sliding and swimming and splashing your grandpa and just think about how the day is going thus far. You need to stop and think about all that you are enjoying so that you can remember it or focus on your next attack.
You need to Captain your Ship of Life if you want to end up in the best place for you. Don't be afraid to take the wheel, even if it seems bigger than you and you have to stand on your toes to see where you are going. Remember that those you love are still behind you to support your decisions and to help you on your journey.
And, finally, throw out your arms in total abandon and don't forget to ENJOY the ride. It certainly goes by really, really, really fast.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
My Husband's Non-Wicked Step Sisters
I reunited with them both again a few months ago when we attended my husband's S.I.L.'s funeral. They had aged...probably they seemed much older to me because they were a decade and some years older than I already.
They were daughters from my husband's father's first marriage. It was a marriage of wealth and unfaithfulness and ended badly. So badly that no one mentioned the name of the first wife in my F.I.L's presence. Mary was the youngest daughter from this union and the dark haired one with the hour glass figure. When she reached her teenage years she was compared to Elizabeth Taylor and from photos I have seen she did resemble her. Sally, her older sister, was the thin and blonder version. She had freckles and looked like the farm girl next door. She was also the thinner thinker. Sally loved to laugh and her laughter was contagious.