One Day at a Time

Sunday, May 24, 2020

If Time Were Not a Moving Thing

With so much time on my hands these days I go through books faster than usual. I had read the book "Time and Again" by Jack Finney a few years ago. I had forgotten that I had read it and started to re-read it just last week and then remembered how I had found it somewhat intense and a bit claustrophobic. It is a science fiction book about an artist being selected to create time travel with his imagination/self-hypnosis and this will be used by the government to change what they want to change in the past. It was a well-constructed novel based on factual historical events in New York in the late 1800s. There was a rumor that the story was going to be made into a movie by Robert Redford, but that fell through.

Now, I have turned to read "Speak, Memory" by Vladimir Nabokov because...well, why not go back in time with a great author? It is an autobiography. He begins recreating his first impressions of his life way back into toddler-hood. What an impressive memory he has. It reveals lovely patterns of existence and symbolism in the context of the turn of the Century in Russia in a wealthy family. In the prologue he explains that all of this was edited by intense give and take from older siblings and other friends who seem to remember some of it far differently than he does.

" I have journeyed back in thought---with thought hopelessly tapering off as I went---to remote regions where I groped for some secret outlet only to discover that the prison of time is spherical and without exits."

That is the fugitive of time. We see one creative side and another set of eyes that passed with us through that same window will throw cold water on that memory washing away a rosy color from our glasses and coming up with evidence of something very different. It is almost as if our memories of our past life are "but a dream."

OK. ENOUGH with the song lyrics.

Nabokov also said "The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness." Well with that depressing perspective I will admit I can now move forward with fewer expectations on the importance of my leaving a memory or even a footprint!

"Initially, I was unaware that time, so boundless at first blush, was a prison. In probing my childhood (which is the next best to probing one’s eternity) I see the awakening of consciousness as a series of spaced flashes, with the intervals between them gradually diminishing until bright blocks of perception are formed, affording memory a slippery hold." Nabakov again.

Above is a photo looking back to our dock, a memory for this year. Our first venture across the water in almost a year since the recreational boating lock-down was lifted this holiday weekend. My husband was thrilled and I brought a book in case he had luck at his old fishing hole.

Sunday, May 17, 2020

Seven Good Things in No Particular Order

Since the "visit of the virus" there have been some unexpected changes:

1. My son and daughter-in-law have met dozens of people in their neighborhood, mostly people who walk dogs like they do.

2. The garden supply catalogs and retails stores are sold out as people re-discover backyard gardening.

3. My septic system is benefiting as we have learned to count toilet paper squares to be frugal with our small stockpile.

4. With the box delivery of random vegetables and fruits, Hubby and I are now eating veggies that I avoided and now I think we are more broad-minded in our taste as well as healthier. I get more veggies than I usually use, and thus that is also good forcing me to eat fiber!

5. Free-lance repairmen have become valuable at our house and I think we are valuable to their gig list of work as they face unemployment. We have had a fuse box repaired when hubby cut through the electric cord of his hedge trimmer, a boat transom repaired that was ages old and the electric box to our yard gate fixed.

6. The grandkids actually sit in a chair in their driveway and visit rather than spending time in their bedrooms, even though we see them less.

7. My house cleaning is no longer smash-dab but thorough and careful. (Unfortunately, no one sees it!)

What are some good things you are enjoying while we work on staying healthy?

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Are You Home?

We are still on an upward curve in terms of infections and deaths, but our Governor is slowly and not so carefully opening the state back up. We are bravely driving up to see the children and drop off garden plants this weekend. No touching and using masks, but because the drive is over an hour and we are visiting both families, we will have to use one of their bathrooms. I am going to ask them to run the fans for a while before we go inside and for their sakes run it for a while after we leave. Odd the things we request of our children these days.

I will pack some snacks because I am not sure we can feel safe eating anywhere...even outdoor sidewalk cafes!

Above is some Pasta Fajoli I made a while back. Haven't made this since I was a teenager!

I am feeling a bit useless these days as the friends that I have called have no needs, although I do check on them. Guess I just have solid pioneer friends. My kids are also doing well and so glad that all four of their careers are still moving along with full employment. That is perhaps what I worry about most when I let my mind wander down that "What if..." vein.

My gardens are super lovely as the weather has been perfect spring. Coolish with just enough rain to make the plants grow! And, as usual, the natives fight hard not be overlooked and overshadowed by the full-blossomed hybrids.

Anyway, I may stop by your place this weekend and drop off some tomato plants, some pepper plants and some basil. Will you be home?

Wednesday, May 06, 2020

Sigh

Something I read today:

"What weight do we apportion the fact of life versus quality of life? At what point of psychological and economic degradation is that quality unacceptable and is the life worth putting at risk? What number of lives, if any, is it OK to endanger so that a much higher number of lives can be bettered? What’s the higher number? And how should betterment be defined?

Sweden’s herd-immunity approach provided one set of answers. Michigan’s lockdown provided another. Whichever fork a given place or population takes, it’s making a profoundly moral decision.

A friend of mine recently asserted that no matter the Covid-19 data in July and August, all college campuses should welcome students back for the fall semester because young people aren’t the primary victims of Covid-19; because the current disruption to their lives, if prolonged, could strain them in ways that haunt their futures; and because they have so much future ahead of them. They warrant a little extra consideration.

Implicit in that reasoning is that older people, who are vulnerable if the resumption of business as usual spreads the virus, warrant a little less.

There’s no way to sugarcoat that, and there’s no point in being anything less than wholly honest about the implications of the transcendently difficult choices before us." Frank Bruni, New York Times

Someone on Facebook responded thus:

"Wonder what it costs for a two week stay in ICU? Families then have to bury their loved one. Legal fees for will probate. Cemetery plot if one is available.
All that expense and suffering. And then, medical people that spent fortune to train. Throwing it into the bonfire to care for humanity.
If we are reducing this to a matter of money, then the answer is NO. The economy will recover anyway. Your portfolio will eventually go back up. Yearly profits will not be as high. But the human cost is unspeakable. The children left without a parent. That price is too high and the economy is not worth needless deaths. I do not accept that nihilistic nightmare."

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Masking

I can remember, barely, last year when I was in China and felt sorry that the Chinese have to wear masks as they went about their daily lives in cities like Shanghai and Beijing and other cities we visited. Even our host on our tour boat gave a talk comparing the culture of the west and the east and admitted to longing for the day when his children would not have to shelter inside due to days of heavy air pollution. The majority of China's energy comes from cheaper coal.

In late January many Americans thought the Chinese were being wussy wearing their masks everywhere. Many Americans did not comprehend the virus at all.

When the pandemic first started to spread here on our continent you would see the occasional mask being worn by an elder or someone you assumed was immune-compromised or something else. In early March even I went to the store in our rural area without a mask and saw 15% wearing some face covering. Many of us felt it was probably overkill. Consistently, the government said we didn't need masks but just needed to distance. I felt in the back of my mind that this was really so that people did not rush out to buy and hoard the N95 masks.

There was a back and forth for weeks on how "aerosolized" the virus could be. There were articles on how far heavy spittle and sneeze drops actually traveled. Then the scientists' admission (still somewhat controversial) about tiny virus particles traveling distances or hanging in the air for hours. Whether these tiny vapors are strong enough to be a contagion is still being explored. Public bathrooms are the absolute worst place to expose yourself as heavy concentrations of the virus were found in patients' bathrooms and areas of heavy use in the reception areas of hospitals.

Then States started to turn the corner and ask people to cover their faces with anything if they went out shopping. This eventually morphed in laws requiring masks in some areas...such as mine. Suddenly masking was taken seriously by those snowflakes who follow the science. Others were blatant deniers but felt they needed to public carry automatic weapons for protection instead. I will not digress on this flat-earth mentality.

I had two boxes of N95 masks from Home Depot. One from a time when we were painting and doing sanding work. Another from an order I made in early January as a precaution. I gave away the unopened box of 10 masks to our local Fire Department as the Pandemic grew. Part of the other box I sent to the family for their protection and the rest I put in zip-locks to be used in the car as I have lung issues and both hubby and I are in our mid-seventies. Once worn they get aired in the car for 4 days and then re-used, which one medical site recommended for those using it much more heavily than we do.

Now the last day of April you will see all kinds of masks with varying degrees of protection being sold in ads or home-made by volunteer groups. Asia is selling tons of them on Facebook (and probably other social venues) with little facts on how effective they are. Cotton, batik cotton and quilting fabrics are the best for homemade but should use a wire to fit across the nose which prevents air escape as well as glasses fogging. They caution against non-natural fabrics and I have found nothing on silk scarves. I have some quilting and some batik materials but I do not like the ties so am waiting for elastic which I ordered a few days ago. When I make these I can distribute to those who want or need them and we can use them in the future.

As with any product that is needed masks have become customized. Sports teams, hobbies, pet breeds, and even hand lettering with the initials of the wearer are being made. Never let it be said that entrepreneurs will miss a sales opportunity!

In my vanity, I have noticed that you do not need lipstick anymore if you head outside to get mail or food. If you are female you do not need to brush your hair too much. By the time the straps are in place, your hair will look reasonably pathetic anyway.

Well stay safe out there and make sure you bring home the correct spouse after your shopping trip...we are all starting to look alike out there.

Please explain this label to me..!

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Catch Up and Keep Up

I just realized that I am trying to find time to squeeze in a blogging post. I am not the type of person that can just toss something off the top of my head...well, I can, but it will sound like one of our President's monologues and people will quit reading here and leave scratching their heads. It seems that washing vegetables, washing the mail, nurturing my spring seedlings, nurturing the perennials I had ordered with our unusually cold spring, keeping up with the laundry that may or may not be covered in virus, keeping in closer touch with family and friends who are near and far, and trying to plan meals with half the ingredients is taking up all my time and keeping me exhausted.

I should be less busy. But I had two Zoom meetings and about two dozen emails with tasks in the last week. I continue to order food online and that is harder than it sounds. These online activities are exhausting for someone of my ancient age. It took me two hours just to organize one of my email boxes so that I did not lose important emails to the great black hole where all emails eventually go. I am exhausted from trying to log in to a Zoom meeting, realizing only my laptop has a camera (who in the hell needs to see my witchy hairstyle these days?), finding I have to go to the bedroom where it is quieter, finding the bedroom internet is not strong enough and trying to take notes when every 5th,6th, and 7th word is lost in static!

Then I came across this article from National Geographic explaining why Zoom meetings are so tiring for many but not all.

My daughter (who is not one of those meme crazy ladies and certainly not one of those chain challenge idiots) got me involved in a 10 days, 10 photos, 10 friends challenge on Facebook. I spend hours trying to find meaningful photos and thinking about which 10 friends I would select...usually determined by which photos I find. My daughter's birthday was Friday and she and her family had planned all kinds of things to do. Online games with friends, a parking lot happy hour where they will remain 10 feet apart and eat and drink sitting in the trunks of their cars, and a movie night--online. They just purchased a huge trampoline that takes up their entire backyard and the kids are in such good health using that. My granddaughter has been heartbroken that she is no longer participating in cheer competitions with all the tumbling and balancing, and this is great for her.

I also was selected to participate in a View From My Window group on Facebook. Fascinating photos of ALL types from people's windows around the globe as they shelter in place. I am sure the administrators of this group will have a good book someday. Through this group, I see bitterly cold winters, soft gentle spring views, and finally, some hot summer desert views. I see lake views (pools, oceans, rivers) contrasting with high rise cities and barren alley views from all the continents and islands of the world. Some of the best "window" views include animals---giraffes, monkeys, kangaroos, parrots, lambs, horses, etc. (I guess I am spending too much time with this group.)

Today I am nervous as I will have to try to log-in to a live FB presentation and I still do not know how to do it. I failed with the test yesterday. I am supposed to support the person doing the presentation as a back-up to answer questions. Since I am not the only support person, I guess they will survive if I do not figure this mess out.

I will leave you with a photo of the 'view from my window' but this is not the one I uploaded to the group. I was in too much of a hurry and just selected something from my image catalog. Yes, I dusted the table.

Sunday, April 19, 2020

A Follow-up and Some Interesting News

1. I can’t wait for National Parks to reopen after the quarantine.

2. I am in no hurry for my volunteer meetings to reopen after the quarantine.

3. These days, resigned hope is my default mood.

4. Have I ever told you there are times when I wish I had kept my big mouth shut?

The credit for this meme above can be found in Messimimi's comments at the bottom of the previous post if you want to know who and how this came about.

The young girl above is paddling down our river on April 8. The water temps in the 40's and air temps in the 50's. We just lost two members of the Kennedy family canoeing on the Chesapeake and not wearing dry suits or their Personal Floatation Devices. A mother and an 8-year-old son. Their death was attributed to rough waves but also very cold water in the 40s. Note where she is keeping her life jacket!

The more significant changes caused by this virus is that when you force mankind to remain indoors for significant periods of time, the world begins to slowly recover from its scars and pollution that we have wrought.

Mobs of monkeys are roaming the streets of Japan.
Venice's canals have become clear once again because silt is not being stirred up by traffic. (One rumor is that dolphins have returned. This was not true and photos in social media were dolphins swimming off the canals in Sardinia which is not an unusual phenomenon.)
Lions did sleep on the roadways at South Africa's Kruger national park because of the lack of traffic.
The air pollution in Europe, China and around the world has become less. The countries with lots of asthma cases (China) can now see blue skies.
Elk have invaded Banff town as their tourist industry falls into great decline. You can see it here as well.
The earth is actually vibrating less due to the lockdown. Earth tremors can be more accurately measured closer to developed areas.
One thing that is not happening is that birds ARE NOT louder. Just seems that was with the diminishing of noise pollution and people being forced to stay at home!

(You may not be able to get to all of these links if they are geographically or subscription-restricted.)

Have a peaceful, stressfree weekend!

Friday, April 17, 2020

From MessiMimi...a fill-in.

One of my readers (perhaps others) is not happy about how 'dismissive" my posts seem to be during this time of death and danger. I try to write light-hearted because there is way too much depressing information out there. My life is not all sunshine and roses, but I do not want to share the hard stuff with readers, as I am still a bit private even though anonymous. I also do not want to brag about the things I am doing because I have the privilege of being upper-middle-class and can afford to assist. So I like to make reading the blogs a break from reading the news. I also avoid politics (I do give in now and again to try to convince others) when I can.

Below is an exercise from Messimimi's blog. Simple and a nice distraction.

1. I can’t wait for _______ to reopen after the quarantine.

2. I am in no hurry for __________ to reopen after the quarantine.

3. These days, ______ is my default mood.

4. Have I ever told you ________?

You can play in the comments and then perhaps I will repost with my answers.

Here is a course from Yale on happiness you can audit for FREE.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Apologies as I have not been around to read my Bloggers (you folks) as much as I would like to. I have been busy cornering the market on milk, ricotta cheese, eggs, spreadable butter, real butter, and coffee creamer. On the odd chance you might be interested in how to do this I will explain.

Last week on Tuesday I ordered the above through an online service called InstaCart where local people who have a car and need income go to the grocery to shop for you. Once the shopping has started they ping your phone when they want to substitute a product for something not on the shelves. These shoppers can be teenagers who have never shopped in a grocery store or others who have experience and will map out the aisles to be the most efficient. I got two pounds of strawberries on the last order, which I do not remember selecting! Anyway, you are looking over their shoulder sometimes when they send a photo of the partially empty shelf with alternative products. You can tip up to 25% for the driver. I do that and also leave money in an envelope on the porch where they deliver as cash is probably more important to them. You are instantly messaged to your phone once the order is on its way. The first order came fine even though it was missing a few items and had the strawberries.

My second order, I needed dairy type products. I made my order online and waited for a few days and never got any response. They do not guarantee a short or quick delivery. Usually, you have a four-day delivery window and they can deliver as late as 9:00 P.M. This tool to avoid the virus requires patience.

Since some times had passed, I was concerned the order was not completed, so I went in and ordered once again. This time I got thrown off the internet as we lost electricty due to that nasty front that came across the East Coast. By afternoon the power came back on and I went through the whole process again ordering my dairy stuff.

I know my brilliant readers are waaaay ahead of me on this. I got the order two days later. Then the very next morning after that I got the same order again! And the morning after that I found the same order on my front porch! For elders this ordering online is a little crazy. I will pay for it all, as it was my fault, I guess. If I do not go to the store, I will be much more careful.

Now I have reached out to provide this free food to my friends. I managed to get rid of one dozen extra eggs to a friend who is in her 80's and confined to her retirement campus. She is a former nutritionist and probably one of the best bakers I have ever met. She left me a little surprise of her culinary talents after I dropped the eggs off.

I finally had to freeze some because everyone I contacted was stocked! My freezer is now also overstocked.

Next hubby Instant Messaged our gardener fellow who lives with his mother and I told hubby to tell him he had to take all of the order! He is coming today to get it, I hope!

I was going to make an Italian cheesecake with the Ricotta. Can you freeze ricotta? By the way, do you need anything?

Thursday, April 09, 2020

Deal With It

It is a roller coaster ride, is it not? Some days I can be very Zen and so thankful that spring is abundantly showing off everywhere in my area. I am truly happy that I am ahead of the curve on weeding, frozen foods, paper products, chocolate, and phone calls. This is the valley in the ride.

Then I get to the start of a hill. I had my first Zoom meeting today with a volunteer group. I actually had to change out of PJs (at least the tops), wash my face, put on some make-up, and brush and blow dry my hair as it is getting heavy and missing its haircut! Then I had to figure out how to link to the meeting. I started 5 minutes early and FINALLY after multiple missed attempts did some corrections in the mass list of ID and Password and other entries that would not validate and logged in only 5 minutes late! The ~~damn~~ meeting was an hour and a half long. It was very productive and I managed to get volunteered for only one or two things to do.

This is what I use to cut hubby's hair and he looks great!

Now, this introvert is exhausted from just that, BUT this afternoon I have to get in the car and mail some face masks to my son, pick up the mail, and drive my car around in the country to charge the battery. It does not like sitting idle for days. Hubby is thrilled to go for a car ride. Does he remind you of your pet?

Since hubby has been outside working more, he is creating more laundry. He did a wash yesterday and is folding it today. I am holding my breath and letting him fold clothes...egad. That is the downhill, cannot-keep-up side of this ride. Relearning PowerPoint to convert to a .jpg to put on the gardening FB page is also much more challenging than it seemed to be years ago. And what I have to post is time-sensitive.

I am totally bored with my cooking. Totally. And we have a larger variety of foodstuffs than most. I just want some salty fatty food from a restaurant. My next job is to call the restaurant and place a take-out order. This is exhausting for me and a little nerve-racking.

Above is an odd meal I cooked the other night. Kentucky BBQ chicken, Boiled Japanese Daikon radish with ginger and oyster sauce, and some curry-flavored stir fry vegetables. I order bi-weekly veggies and must find ways to use these.

My dreams stay with me longer. They are odd and usually involve me trying to keep up on some trips or meet-up with others in some tight time frame.

Then we reach the valley once again when I read an article that says this virus was probably in China in mid-November as they had an unusual uptick in flu cases. (You may remember that we left China the last week of October!) So I can be thankful for that dodging of the bullet.

Now that I have erupted in verbal chaos, just exactly how is your day going?

Friday, April 03, 2020

A Harump Followed by Something Worthwhile

Learning to live in the time of Coronavirus is not easy for those who are inflexible or sorta-flexible or just plain privileged.

While commercial fishing is allowed, our governor has banned recreational boating. This has resulted in a 15,000 signature petition for him to lift it if boats agree to stay 50 feet apart, only family members on board and no parties on beaches. It is hard for good old boys to give up such a hobby and I can understand why. I am sure the state had images of beer parties and boats rafted together, or remote beach parties, etc. Also, they did not want their DNR officers spending time on drunken get-togethers on the water when they need to focus on other stuff.

Hubby can canoe and kayak as that is considered exercise, so he is not totally dismayed. Our governor survived cancer and has a good knowledge of medical science, but elected by the GOP, the Trumpers are getting mad at him for taking away their 'rights'. (The right to infect the nation if they want.) I have learned that many (at least those on FB, Twitter or the media) conservatives are ALWAYS suspicious of science and think scientists are members of some dark-state cult. Pray for those scientists that stand behind the President at each daily briefing and manage to not strangle him while subtly contradicting what he says to keep us alive.

We also learned that we can no longer work in the children's garden to raise food for the free pantry. It seems that the University will not allow volunteers (Master Gardeners) to work on their own. The property is owned by the museum and they do not mind, although they have pretty much shut down their offices. The director of the museum told us yesterday that she is now employed at one hour a week!! Other Master Gardener projects can continue. One is run by a church and its volunteers are not part of the MSG program and the garden is on church property. A larger food garden is run by an environmental organization and pays its staff...so that is considered agriculture which is exempted from the Shelter in Place edict, even though MSGs are part of it. Hubby is bereft that he has planted seedlings in trays and cannot transplant to the children's garden! I have begged him not to chance it because there is a 5,000 dollar fine! I am pretty sure they would waive it, but still. How would he weed and water weekly anyway?

My online grocery orders arrive with about 70% of what I order. The only things missing are the things I really need like milk and butter! I may have to mask up and go to the grocery, now that the CDC is recommending masks...after all this time...! I dropped off the larger portion (10) of my N95 masks to the local Fire Chief in a dash grab process, but retained a small supply in the event we do get sick.

My freezer is full as is my fridge and I cannot complain if I run out of necessities like coffee, chocolate or wine. I will grow in character...some people have run out of shelter, food and the ability to see their loved ones.

But, having written all of this, I have an excellent uplifting video on the virus. Please watch this doctor and I am sure your tensions will ease:

Short Version
https://youtu.be/Qwx3JMRTz8U

Longer Version
https://vimeo.com/399733860

Monday, March 30, 2020

Notice a Difference?

Yes, the parking lots are emptier if not totally empty in front of our favorite restaurants. I can order for pick-up, but I am still a little worried about germs for all that. The photo below was the last time we ate out...March 17...perhaps we were pushing it?

All our meetings have been canceled (which is driving my extrovert husband bananas in trying to find stuff to do.)

We are elderly but fairly active and do not see ourselves as elderly...this has been a strong reminder of how few years we have left on this earth.

Every news report we fall into the "vulnerable" category.

I am close to my children, but we do not talk sometimes for months and that has changed to texting and phone calls several times weekly as they check up on us!

My husband's fishing buddy (in his late 50's) who calls maybe twice a year is stuck at his condo in Colorado and called to make sure we are doing well and to remind us his son, who lives near us, can be called upon for any assistance we might need. Then he tells us his wife's father passed away last week due to the virus...

My next-door neighbor (newly moved in) also offers us assistance if we need it. He is in his late 50s.

Our intermittent helper (gardening and such--the man released from prison last year) calls before he comes to help with mulch and asks if he can bring anything from the store for us.

My own brother ( a real introvert) who never calls me unless we are on travel together and trying to coordinate something or pick a place for a meetup, called to see how we were doing!

I am ordering expensive frozen dinners online as a break to cooking. When I say expensive...it is like eating out without all the ambiance and wine but the same bill. I also think the serving sizes are much like TV dinners and not going to satisfy hubby.

I spend much of my time washing things...not clothes or dishes...but mail, food packages, prescription bottles, and of course, my hands.

We worked in the children's garden today and I discovered that you have no impulse to touch your face when your hands are covered in dirt. Try it.

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Life is a Bit of a Hornets Nest

The morning is dark and gloomy at 4:00 A.M. The bedroom is quiet. My mind is racing as I lay in bed and stare at the shadowed ceiling...why did I wake up? Hmmm... Oh, yes! I forgot to put the food recycle-bags that I had washed into the dryer and we are going food shopping this morning.

Dragging myself out of the warm covers, I put the bags in the dryer and go to make some coffee. At 5:20 the alarm goes off and I go in to wake my husband. He seems unenergetic and slow and then tells me he thinks he may have an eye infection!! I make him get up, wash his face, and then wash the eye with saltwater. It does not look too bad so we do not cancel our morning plans. (The eye was better by the afternoon.)

The grocery told us, elders, to get there at 6:00 A.M. when they open so that we can shop without lines and maybe have a chance of finding things.

It is bleak and dark outside. A slight drizzle with cold weather and seems like we are leaving for a trip to the airport instead of just a weekly errand to the village. I get the mail from the counter to take to the P.O. We do not have rural delivery and thus have to hit the Post Office twice to thrice weekly. Hubby has been having trouble starting "my" car and I have been seeing him double start even after the dash says Power On! I am concerned with his concentration these days and greater confusion with technology. After arguing with him I make him give me the driver's seat. The computer in the car is clearly not working well. After finally getting the car to turn off completely which takes several shifts, pushing off the start button, and even opening and closing car doors, I wait a bit and then start it as I normally do and it works!! Good thing we are getting an early start.

We head to the Post Office since the grocery will not be open for another fifteen minutes. I pull into the empty parking lot and the Post Office is well lit. I push the off button, but the car does not seem to go off. I do not worry but hurry inside to deposit and get mail. When I put the virus covered mail and a medium box of snack peanuts and chocolate I ordered from Amazon in the back seat. I try to start the car. It takes five minutes this time. I am frustrated as it is hard to see the car settings, etc. in the dark morning. I rarely drive at night because of this. Something is clearly wrong and I am just getting ready to call a tow when I turn the car off and we sit for 5 minutes. I try again one final time and it works! It is a computer problem.

We optimistically head to the store and I try not to think about the possibility of ice cream melting in the trunk if we load it with groceries and have to wait for a tow. I have turned the lights to auto, and other stuff to my original settings and tell my husband to please not touch all the settings. He is feeling bad and I am feeling bad and oh hell...

We get two carts and wipe down the handles, sides, etc. and our hands with wipes I carry in my purse. An Asian elder rounds the corner followed by his Caucasian wife. They both smile and I smile back and ask her if she brought coffee. She says her hubby has already had his coffee and I am wondering if she did not realize I was attempting a joke. Something I do when I am nervous and frustrated. (It isn't until much later I wonder if the Asian man is feeling the prejudice or does he always smile?)

The store is quiet and everyone is polite and keeping their distance. For the first time since this nightmare started, I see some customers wearing gloves and a few elders wearing masks. I find most of what I want except bleach. I am down to half a gallon and use it to wash my veggies. I hurry past the produce section as I got my first order of produce online yesterday. (I had opened the box outside, brought in veggies and fruit and dumped them all in a sink of bleach water for about three minutes, rinsed them thoroughly, let them air dry and put them away. I get little choice in what they deliver, but it will help me stretch my cooking imagination to prepare veggies I do not like.)

Remembering what produce I got, I select bananas and strawberries in the store and celery. I have a feeling that this ordering online will not deliver the more fragile berries, tomatoes, etc. I zoom my cart past toward the meat. Hubby cannot eat red meat due to his allergy so it is all turkey, duck, and chicken. I have plenty of seafood in the freezer but the fresh seafood counter is totally closed. I see the paper products aisle is 90% empty but I do not need any of that anyway and hurry on to the other aisles.

Hubby has taken a second shopping list and the second cart and is on his way to the opposite side of the store for the dairy. We buy more ice cream these days to handle our boredom. I cannot live without coffee creamer and have 3 jars now!

We get everything we want except the bleach. I get to the counter with only one cart ahead of us. The elder customer in front of us says that it is nice the store sets aside time for us old folks. When she has paid, I put up my recyclable grocery bags on the counter and assure the clerk that I have just washed them. Her response indicates she does not really care, or perhaps did not hear. We talk lightly about the pandemic and she admits that she is immune-compromised. She is a young thing in her 20s. As we wheel our two half-filled carts away I hear the customer behind me ask the clerk if she is holding up under this virus panic. Everyone seems to care about the vulnerable.

Both of us load the trunk quickly as the rain is now starting up again getting everything wet.

I get into the car which starts exactly as it is supposed to and we head home. Lots of Lysol wipes on most things such as door handles, car steering wheel, etc. and then we wash our hands after everything has been put away. I think we are good for 7-10 days.

This whole experience made me realize how tense we are. I felt as if I had just caught the last plane out of Cuba and all it was was a weekly errand! And this will probably go on for a month or two more...