Life Story # 4: One Fateful Night in 1983

It seemed that we had actually become settled in our new place on the side of the mountain just off of Kaliurang Road in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. After several hectic weeks of looking for hired help to do laundry by hand since we had no washing machine, and hiring a cook since food had to be purchased at the market on a daily basis, water had to be purified, vegetables had to be sanitized, etc., I finally was able to start tutoring my daughter in her second grade lessons. There was a small mission school but it only had classes up to the first grade. I hired a jaga malam (night watchman) who actually babysat my youngest son during the mornings when I was tutoring.

We had gotten used to the crowded dirt roads, the unusual smells, and astonished reactions to our white skin. We were even beginning to sleep through the blare of the Imam’s call to prayer through an electronic loudspeaker just outside our upstairs louvered bedroom window at sunrise each morning. During the daytime, Kaliurang Road was busy with dusty traffic heading up and down the mountain, but at sunset the area suddenly became quieter and all you could hear was the infrequent bicycle bell and the rhythmic call of the street vendors with their wheeled carts.

Our two-story house, while built of concrete, was oddly shaped with stairs of inconsistent height, the occasional rejections of small pieces of cement from the high ceilings above and a small patio in the back with an orchid covered wall which was also another house’s patio wall. It probably would not pass code in the United States, but for Indonesia it was considered a small palace with its extensive terrazzo front porch, terrazzo floors throughout and electrical pump for our well water.

I remember one peaceful morning while my daughter was working on a school project, I headed upstairs above the servants’ side of the house to talk to our babu cuci (laundress) about something. She was in a small sheltered alcove on the roof hanging clothes. I had never been up to this area which also housed our drinking water in a large cement catchment. The view looking over the chest- high wall above the red-tiled rooftops was so freeing in its vastness. In the distance I could see the perfect cone shape of Mt. Merapi with its little cloud of volcanic smoke blowing away in a feathery wisp. (I think I have a photo of this somewhere that maybe I can add here.)

A few nights after this I was shaken roughly awake from a deep sleep by my husband. “Get C. (our son)”, he cried. “I will get Y (our daughter). Hurry! Hurry!”  He threw back the covers and jumped out of bed.

My brain was foggy and I moved slower than I should have while trying to absorb the anxious tone of my husband’s voice.

“Wha…What is it?” I sat up in bed.

“Just hurry! We have to get outside. There is an earthquake.”

I got up from the low platform bed and ran to my son’s room and scooped him into my arms. I didn’t feel anything unusual as I moved across the floor, but as we descended the stairs I saw out of the corner of my eye the aquarium water slopping in dramatic waves out of the sides of the aquarium onto the floor.

We rushed to the street. Only a few others were outside standing in the dirt road. We waited in quiet shock anticipating the worst. There was a small tremor that swayed the bamboo fence in the front of the yard and then nothing for a very long time. There was no noise in the neighborhood to indicate anyone else had noticed that the earth had shaken her shoulders.

Our crazy concrete palace was still standing and nothing had fallen from the ceiling as we carefully made our way back inside. We eventually fell asleep and awoke the next day with the memories seeming like a dream.

If you are following the news recently you will understand that we could have been going through much worse with Mt. Merapi eruptions.

Mother’s Day Thoughts

Exhausted from spending the Saturday before Mother’s Day cooking several meals for incoming relatives so that your daughter, who is a new mother herself, doesn’t have to when they come to stay at her house this week.

Thinking about your daughter’s plans for a week-long Italy trip for both you and her mother-in-law in the fall.

Not knowing if your only son will remember it is Mother’s Day and give you a call.

Realizing, again this year, that you no longer have a mother to buy a Mother’s Day card for or to call.

Seeing all the hard-working moms on Saturday in the stores and wondering what their Mother’s Day will be like.

Oddly enough, having no plans other than morning exercise followed by a wonderful bubble bath.

Sand Review

So the trip down to Hilton Head WAS a little long. Mom got a little creative in trying to distract the hunger pains.

Once we had unpacked the groceries and stuff, we immediately changed into beach clothes and grabbed the beach gear and introduced Xman to the beach and he immediately fell asleep.



Once back in the condo and before we started dinner, Xman decided we needed to inventory each and every cupboard...with great noise and zest.

The second day at the beach was a little better. Xman at least stayed awake and discovered how easy it was to navigate the hard sand and to chase the gray and white things that were much smaller than he.


The afternoon bike ride required refreshment and a nap on his part.

Maybe more on the trip later.

Ok, I'll go for it!

I have filled in the "Where I am From Template" and while not completely happy, I am sending it forward like a newborn baby with the cheesy coating not completely peeled away.

I AM FROM

I am from worn books and small farms, from Sears and Roebuck and home-canned sweet cherries.

I am from the big picture windows facing the breath-taking snowy peaks.

I am from a homemade house, a barn of swift swallows and meadows of cow grass; I am from the irrigation pond and the foothills riddled with chipmunks and cactus.

I am from picnics on the sides of swiftly flowing rivers and three people talking at once, from immigrant 14-year-olds and Mary Jane and Daniel and Kitten and Richard and Doenie and Debi.

I am from going six directions at once and stretching the dollar until it snaps; From skinny legs and talking too much.

I am from now and then religion that came as needed and disappeared just as fast. Church was summer camp crafts and evening vespers.

I'm from the Italian Alps and the rugged gravel paths above timberline, homemade pasta sauce and Sunday fried chicken.

From directing children’s backyard theater rehearsals, the long hikes under the shushing pine trees, and the childlessness and parentlessness of others.

I am from a five-dollar camel-back trunk, a million digital photos and collected sea shells whispering priceless memories.

Now why did I come downstairs?

I have on the desk in front of my monitor a folded white paper napkin. On this napkin I have written in pencil the following words in the following format:

"Tucumseh
ALEX THE GREAT
Best Sea captain in British Navy in 1800's
World's leaders saw interesting time + place"

I know that this had something to do with a blog I was thinking of writing a few weeks ago, but I cannot grasp even a glimmer of a clue when searching the old gray matter inside my skull. According to a recent scientific experiment that I particpated in, too much sand and sun does fry the brain.

The Winding Down Time

I woke up at my regular time this morning (5:30 AM). We had driven back yesterday (9.5 hours) and stopped by the new house on the way to see the past two weeks of work. There was just enough daylight as we arrived about 5:30. By the time we reached the apartment it was 9:30. I unpacked the necessary stuff, had a dish of ice cream for dinner and fell into bed with the necessary exhaustion for a good night's sleep.

The drive was particularly long because we were without children and grandchildren (they has left earlier in the week). Even so, the car was still busting with stuff. We had added leftover groceries and my husband had moved some of the stuff that had been tied under the overhead canoe into the back storage area of the car.

We got into the city around 8:00 PM and offloaded the bicycles and rack at the old rental house where we continue to store stuff with the good graces of our former landlady. We didn't unpack the rest and will do that today. I sit here in the apartment surrounded by suitcases and carry bags and dread picking up the two weeks of mail waiting for me at the Post Office.

Today we head down to my daughter's house and unload all of the baby stuff. They (being jetsetters that they are) are flying down to Miami for a long weekend to visit some friends they haven't seen in two years. They are bringing Xman and Grandma and Grandpa think they are crazy and being spendthrifts, but such is life.

Like the car, my head is also stuffed with bittersweet memories of the trip. Life goes by so fast and everyone has so much to do. There are so many obligations and responsibilities. I am always preparing for life's change in my mind it seems that it tends to interfer with the enjoyment of the present.

I have a number of themes and ideas that I would like to write as a blog, but will probably forget everything in rush of today's errands. It is a good thing that blogs do not have editors!

First Friday

It is 'late by my standards' for a Friday morning, and yet all of the rest of my family is still in bed. So I get to blog in peace, and wonder how people can stay in bed so long when the weather is gorgous!

I tried to call my son twice yesterday to see if he was driving down. I had my phone off in the evening when he returned the call. He has an old Honda, so I am concerned about his making the trip. I got a garbled message from him when I checked my voice mail before bedtime. He said something about being on his way and probably spending the night in a motel. This is so like him, getting a late start and then wasting what little money he has in a motel! So, now it looks like we will see him sometime this morning, but I don't know when. Waiting for another call so I can give the gate guard his license number to let him into the HT (Hoity-Toity) compound.

My son-in-law is flying out of here today to go to a business meeting in Denver, so the condo will not be anymore crowded. My daughter and Xman are flying out on Monday and we are staying through until next Friday. I don't know how long my son is staying during this week.

We spent Tuesday morning on a bike ride to Pinkney Island which is a bird preserve. It is a large island and really only accessible by bike, although the very first time we were here my husband and I spent an entire day trying to walk it and were able to cover only part. There are a number of man-made lakes and other bird habitat, so you are able to get closer to all of those exotic water birds. I took a ton of pictures that last time I was here, but with an older camera. I still need a telephoto to get the best shots.

It was Xman's first real bike trip and other than falling asleep on the way in and the way out and getting shaken like a milkshake on the rocky roads, he seemed to enjoy himself. On the way back to the car he was getting tired of riding and started to cry. Because of the bouncing his voice was wavering and he couldn't decide whether he wanted to cry or just making his voice do funny sounds.

He is genetically predisposed to hate the out-of-doors. The expression on his face when we first introduced him to grass at Easter for an egg hunt was priceless. He actually shuddered! Then when we introduced him to sand and finally ocean waves on this trip, he again had strong misgivings. But, as of yesterday, all of this is now behind him and he actually walks into the gentle waves, even though the water is a little cold still.

If I forgot to mention he is walking and almost running. He is into everyting and as a result my husband has had to scale down his great outdoors adventures. I think he is looking forward to Xman's departure just a little so that he can do the canoeing and fishing he wants with his son or I. I am looking forward to less 'catch me if you can' and 'oopsie, don't cry' times.

Well, hubby is up and others should finally be dragging themselves out of bed. Off to my second cup of coffee and to reading all of your blogs.

Nursery Rhymes and Sand

Well, I have Internet access as long as my daughter's laptop is here---until Monday. The condo has wireless. What luxury! My laptop is totally USB and there is no such thing here. (They actually have two PCs in a room at the workout area for those folks who absolutely must check out the stock market in between workouts and massages, or in between a sauna and a pedicure.) I don't really fit here, because I am a little too Puritanical with my money and a little too close to a fixed income.

We are at Hilton Head which is hoitey toitey, yes, but also relaxing and fun. Almost everyone vacationing here is a set of grandparents with children and pre-schoolers of the children. The scenes are disgustingly like the postcards and condo ads.

We have been spending much of our time at the beach and at the pool teaching Xman about sand-walking, seagull chasing, and blowing bubbles in the kiddie pool. I have been taking lots of family pictures just like every boring grandparent that you meet.

We drove to Savannah for my daughter's birthday dinner last night and spent a LOT of money, but I was trying to reward her for being such a good mother. It took almost an hour to get there and she seemed to have had a wonderful time. We did a little walking around the waterfront and the town squares with the big trees and historic statues. It is very Southern and slow and gentile. Think "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" with fewer exotic characters.

Hubby and daughter and son-in-law have headed for the driving range this morning before an afternoon storm and I am baby-sitting watching my Xman learn about sliding doors, reading a book to himself and playing a music machine. He is very good at entertaining himself when his tummy is full.

We are going shopping this afternoon, which is definitely not a hubby thing, but definitely a daughter/husband thing. Thus far it has been a good and not too stressful vacation...not like those where everyone is trying to please everyone else and in general having a miserable time!

It is hard for me to believe that sometime in the future I will have free time like this for as far out as the eye can see. I have lots of things that I want to do, but it still a little intimidating. It is almost as if I MUST enjoy myself in retirement and that is a big order. I think subconsciously I may thing I will fail---if one can fail at retirement?

Packing in the Rain

I don't know why it is, but when we go somewhere by car, I go crazy with the packing. I will even have a washer dryer at the place, but still packed too many clothes. The trouble is partially due to the fact that I need beach wear, general resort wear, canoe clothes, and evening a city dress or two--and all the shoes for each activity including shoes for muddy canoing.

Then it is my daughters birthday while we are down there, so I am packing some stuff to celebrate that. We also plan on biking and are trying to take 4 bikes, and my husband and son-in-law need to pack tennis and golf gear and my husband has his canoe and fishing gear!!

We must also have food and drinks in the car as we will be driving almost the whole day.

Later this morning the others get to add the baby gear which is an apartment of stuff in itself.

We packed board games and rain gear and...oh well crammin' the stuff in.

All I can say it we better darn well have fun! (And all I really wanted to do was sleep and read.)

Saturday in the Jungle

Virgninia Bluebells Egg

Saturday morning early in the city
Is a jungle concert of bird song,
Demanding and rhythmic
High and energetic and persistent.

The sun takes its place
at the edge of the world.
Birdsongs begin to dwindle
Replaced by the regular roar
of the lion buses
and the hissing of the hyena cars
in the street below.

Finally the footsteps of man with dog,
The muddy voices below,
A tea kettle whistle from an open window.
I'm up, alright, already!

Thursday Thoughts

1. Colleen has a little thing going called "13 Thursday." I am such an independent cuss that I cannot be confined to such a strict format. Besides, I don't think my brain holds 13 things at one time, nor would I be willing to do this every Thursday! But today I have a bunch of random thoughts and thought that they would make a good Thursday post.
2. I changed to a spring purse today and realize everytime I do this, I am carrying more stuff than I need...maybe. It is 'old lady' stuff and would never fit into a model's pencil slim purse. I need a compact magnifying tool for reading menus under candle light, a small container of Aleve (which I have yet to use) just in case I get pain during the movie or whatever after sitting for so long, a compact umbrella, four sets of keys (my car(s), my apartment, my daughters apartment, my office,) plus a key ring with all those stupid barcode cards that you scan when you shop at a particular store. Then all the other stuff like wallet, checkbook, just enough make-up, brush, tissue, a container for all credit cards, business cards, train cards, breath mints. OK ENOUGH about the contents of a lady's purse.
3. I got these in the mail yesterday and didn't have time to look at them until tonight. Hedwig has her bird books and I have my house books. I will start on them when I am finished with this blog and I am so excited I may not pour a glass of wine first. (Who do I think I am kidding?)
   
   
   
4. Ronnie received a lot of birthday wishes and one contained a funny video (staged or real--hard to tell) about a little old lady with a cane trying to cross at an intersection while a sportscar driver at the stopsign keeps honking to get her to move faster. Finally in anger and frustation, she hits the front fender of the car with her large bag and she continues to slowly cross; the drivers air bag goes off sending white powder into the air with a surprised driver watching her continue to cross the street at her pace. (Some of you have probably seen this humorous video.) BUT have you heard this news which I saw on our network news last night?! This is no longer funny for those of us who know that aging bodies DO belie what we think we can do! To say nothing of the importance of SLOWING DOWN WORLD.
   
5. Why does the builder's brother always call my husband before he calls me? A little intimidated by an intelligent woman with a mind of her own, perhaps? Or is my husband more easygoing and willing to cave when difficult decisions have to be made?
   
6. My son seems to have gotten back together with his old and primary girlfriend. This is a big deal to his parents if not much significance to bloggers everywhere. She came to Xman's birthday and I tried to be as casual as I could when talking to her.
   
7. Looking forward to our vacation at the beach the end of April and first week of May. This is a vacation with our kids who will overlap somewhat but not be there at the same time. This is the first time we have done something like this...hope it works.
   
8. I wonder how many folks were "taken aback" by the reptile photos in the previous post? Peruby let me know she had misgivings. While I do not love snakes I am fascinated by them, as I am by all living things.

SEE I made it to eight...more than half way there. Does this mean I have half the brain of the 13 Thursday bloggers?

Showing Off or Sharing With

My sister's visit was all too brief. She stayed with friends in Virginia (near 'Scooter' L's house) so you know it was in a nicer neighborhood than our apartment could provide. But, she did spend two whole days with us and we had fun catching up and gossiping. We drove down to the house and saw the finished retaining walls. I think they look a little scary and I am totally amazed that the county does not require a fence on that last wall. I am planning on planting a lot of ornamental grass for soft landings everywhere. I also think a gate might be needed.

Of course, we had to look at the baby oysters and determine how they were doing. This is our second crop and should be harvestable this winter. Wind was blowing like crazy and pretty cold.


We then took her on a two mile hike into a nearby beach. Wind wasn't blowing behind the dunes and the weather was a perfect spring day for this long walk. We interrupted reptiles trying to thaw in the sun and actually they totally ignored us.


I should save the photo of the swamp below for another blog post as it certainly lends itself to some type of comment on life, but I wanted to share it now. It kind of makes me dizzy just looking at it.

Blowin' and wearin' and eatin'

First we blow out the candles and then we wear the cake! This is fun!

Someone(s) Else's Birthday

There were lots of birthdays last week it seems including Peruby's daughter. My grandson ALSO turned one on the fifth of April! I am going to a party for him this afternoon. There will be three other little ones there along with parents and grandparents. I can't remember if I commented on this. (I HATE this forgetfulness that took the place of wherever I lost those hormones.) Anyway, my daughter is decorating, bought four little baseball costumes, is making baseball cupcakes...the whole nine yards. I am certain she spent well over $200 for this event. But I also went a little crazy with the gifts when I got into the baby store, so I cannot point the finger. I keep telling myself I am going to be a responsible grandmother, and then I see this cute outfit or that mind-expanding toy and end up with an armful of stuff.

Hubby is flying in from Korea at 1:00 and should be in unusual form for the event. I just have to keep him awake until I get him back here at the apartment after the cake and frosting distribution. My baby sister (my last remaining sister) flew in yesterday to see some friends and we are getting together tomorrow for a trip to the new house site and some bonding time and then we are going to an art museum on Monday. I am really enjoying this type of weekend!! Weather is supposed to be amenable to the whole thing.

I apologize because I was going to write some thoughtful stuff about any number of subjects and not just my diary of events for the next few days, but I need more coffee now and maybe the next blog more insightful stuff, or may not, maybe just more drivel...

Wine and Digital Photography--Who Knew?

I apologize as I realize at least some part of the million blogging folks cannot contain their digital addiction leading to total digital abandon and posting of lots of spring pictures. The Blogdom will be flooded this spring. But these images are for those of you who for one reason or another cannot get out into the parks and forests at this time of year. Click on the photos for a larger view---they are hi-resolution...so beware!

More Art photography:

Mulling the Milestone

Highlights of the retirement party:
60 people and dozens of others on travel or elsewhere that came by earlier in the day to say they were sorry they couldn't attend.
Reasonably good food considering it was a government party and catered by a friend of the staff.
Lots of speeches including about 12 spontaneous ones--1 1/2 hours worth.
Demographics of the people giving the spontaneous accolades -- Secretaries, Contract personnel, Executive Service types, Industry, Latinos, Blacks, Asians and Whites.
A poem from a former boss.
A letter from a U.S. Senator.
All resulting in a standing ovation, one proud son and a Husband who for the first time in his entire life was speechless. He could only say about 30 words!
I didn't realize I was married to such a great guy. I mean I knew he was lovable and all....
Now he is retired and this evening on a plane to Korea for a week to do some work with the government there. So much for retirement.

Symbols of a Marriage

This photo could represent interracial friendship and love or overcrowding due to population growth or problems due to global warming and acid rain. Tonight, though, it represents my husband and I. It is how I feel at the end of his retirement party this afternoon. I need to collect my thoughts like the scattered cherry blossoms on the walkway and I will blog about it all later this weekend. In the meantime go take a LOVELY ride with Val at Stepping Stones of Truth for a fresh breath of air before you start your weekend crazy errand running. (Hoss, be polite with your comments now ;-) )

Yes, It is Contageous

I live in the heart of the city with buses, mass transit and high rises that are a few hundred feet from my apartment door. Yet the brilliance of city planners has created acres of parks only a ten minute walk from where I am now living. Everything in the photos below is wild. I guess I do not need to worry about tending a garden this spring.

Below I share with you some of the fever of spring and I hope it is contageous.



I am big on fungus and drive my husband crazy when I stop and take fungus pictures. I think I like them because they hold still and you can get a good picture. The tree above was covered.


This fungus is particularly lovely and my favorite picture of the day.

This is the tree in full and you can see it was covered with fungus.


I think this is an anemone buttercup but am open to any botanical corrections.

We saw only two of these trees pictured above blooming in the depth of the forest under some pretty large oaks and beech trees. I have no idea what they are. Can anyone help? They didn't look like a dogwood and it is too early for dogwood blossoms. The flowers were about the size of a quarter and the tree was very sparce and not too tall. I couldn't detect a fragrance.


Here are some lovely Scylla and to think that I used to buy these bulbs by the dozens and plant them under my trees at the old house. Here at my feet there was a small field of them for free and in several shades of blue.



Well, enough fever. I will go get something cold to drink.

Saturday Snapshots

• On the drive down, the Bradford pears that have been planted at every landscape junction in the mall parking lots were in peak bloom with no bees in sight.
• As we exited the car, the concert at the new house site was so rich and complex that it took our breath away. Warblers were taking up the lyrical medley, cardinals then hit the high notes, and blue jays added the percussive rhythm.
• Organic smells from the freshly excavated earth in the front yard mixed oddly with the greenness of the spring air.
• Water across the bridge from the boat reflected only a gray glassy surface broken suddenly by a rarely seen speeding river otter who emerged for a few seconds to exhale and inhale, and then twisting snake-like, darted beneath the surface of the water and into a large pipe under the road.
  
• The open window upstairs framed a perfect view of the finger of water that joined the river to the west.

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Another Milestone? What Number is That Now?

Another milestone? Pretty soon my backyard will be full of them.


A week from this coming Monday is my husband's last day at work. He is retiring after 38 some years doing the science that he so loves. He has been talking about retirement for years and each year he got closer to naming a date and finally this past winter he put a number on the deadline. Work at his office has become more and more about process and bureaucracy and less and less about science and making things happen for people, so he knows it is the right time.

He has actually helped create a couple of millionaires in his field of interest this past few years. (He was the one that helped guide their research and provided the handholding for their partnerships and worked them through the maze of government regulations and processes. I remember the hours on the phone, that few government bureaucrats would have devoted.) And a few decades ago we would have been envious of their millionaire status, but interestingly today, as we look back on our lives, we are just happy for them and he looks on it as one of his accomplishments. This is another milestone for us in maturity.

My husband has had a few shock moments still where he is amazed that he is actually retiring. Like most men and a few women, his image and self-worth is all tied up in his career and the job description. So, this transition will be somewhat painful. He is trying to line up a few consulting jobs and he will be back to the same office working half-time as a contractor this summer. He is smart in doing this in stages, although he says he is continuing with a contract just to keep me company until I retire in a year or two.

He also got a scare last week with his prostate test and it looks like he may have prostate cancer. This is naturally a scare at a time when he was hoping to adjust to a new way of living. We have a few acquaintances that also are fighting this battle. If a man lives long enough, this gland seems to want to fail. My Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer about ten years ago and they decided to do nothing about it. He is still alive and doing very well for someone 92! We have a close friend that was diagnosed with this about 6 years ago and kept telling us he was preparing to die. He went through some painful surgery and chemotherapy, but he is still here and looks great, if still a bit of a hypochondriac.

I am worried, naturally, but more about the types of treatment and what they may do to my husband. I am not worried about him dying. Maybe I am very naive. We will know more in the coming weeks after he visits the specialist.

It is sort of strange, because as we got closer to finishing and enjoying this new house I was feeling guilty. Guilty that we are so blessed and wondering if somehow we were going to get our share of pain soon.