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A week from this coming Monday is my husband's last day at work. He is retiring after 38 some years doing the science that he so loves. He has been talking about retirement for years and each year he got closer to naming a date and finally this past winter he put a number on the deadline. Work at his office has become more and more about process and bureaucracy and less and less about science and making things happen for people, so he knows it is the right time.
He has actually helped create a couple of millionaires in his field of interest this past few years. (He was the one that helped guide their research and provided the handholding for their partnerships and worked them through the maze of government regulations and processes. I remember the hours on the phone, that few government bureaucrats would have devoted.) And a few decades ago we would have been envious of their millionaire status, but interestingly today, as we look back on our lives, we are just happy for them and he looks on it as one of his accomplishments. This is another milestone for us in maturity.
My husband has had a few shock moments still where he is amazed that he is actually retiring. Like most men and a few women, his image and self-worth is all tied up in his career and the job description. So, this transition will be somewhat painful. He is trying to line up a few consulting jobs and he will be back to the same office working half-time as a contractor this summer. He is smart in doing this in stages, although he says he is continuing with a contract just to keep me company until I retire in a year or two.
He also got a scare last week with his prostate test and it looks like he may have prostate cancer. This is naturally a scare at a time when he was hoping to adjust to a new way of living. We have a few acquaintances that also are fighting this battle. If a man lives long enough, this gland seems to want to fail. My Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer about ten years ago and they decided to do nothing about it. He is still alive and doing very well for someone 92! We have a close friend that was diagnosed with this about 6 years ago and kept telling us he was preparing to die. He went through some painful surgery and chemotherapy, but he is still here and looks great, if still a bit of a hypochondriac.
I am worried, naturally, but more about the types of treatment and what they may do to my husband. I am not worried about him dying. Maybe I am very naive. We will know more in the coming weeks after he visits the specialist.
It is sort of strange, because as we got closer to finishing and enjoying this new house I was feeling guilty. Guilty that we are so blessed and wondering if somehow we were going to get our share of pain soon.
Hello Tabor,
ReplyDeletewhat you wrote kind of stops me and makes me quite. A book that I read some years ago came to my mind: "Your Body Believes Every Word You Say" by Barbara Hoberman Levine. She suffered from a brain tumor and the book is somehow connected to her recuperation.
Hi Tabor,
ReplyDeleteI hope the best to your husband!
As you know, my English is "weak" and I can't express all I want to.
From my heart, my best wishes to you both!
Tabor,
ReplyDeleteWe have a friend who was diagnosed with prostate cancer almost 25 years ago. He opted for something called "seeding" I think they seed the gland with radioactive cells.
He is alive and doing well now at age 82. I hope your husband's prognosis and treatment goes as well. Also, it is not a bad idea to get a second opinion.
Maybe you can turn him on to blogging about his retirement and how he adjusts. My husband is retired but he still does a lot of consulting which keeps him busy and active. He plays golf and works out 2 days a week.(he does not blog):) And we both enjoy our grandchildren who live close by. He is 77, a year older than I am. His health is good but he does have a problem with recurring skin cancers which he has to have removed mainly from his face several times a year. He grew up on a working farm and with the fair English-Irish skin he is just so susceptible.
I wish the all the best for the two of you.
Chancy
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's prostate cancer. I hope all goes well and he can enjoy his retirement.
ReplyDeleteAll the best!
I can certainly understand your concern. Although now I'm worried too, and I don't even know your husband! Please keep us posted on how he is doing. He seems to have a positive outlook, not to mention he is so active and healthy (just seeing how quickly he recovered from back surgery). Hopefully that will come into play in this instance as well.
ReplyDeleteI just found this study: Sometimes no treatment is the right option for low-risk prostate cancer.
ReplyDeleteRobi
Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and concerns. The blogging community is a very nice therapy/support group, isn't it?
ReplyDelete