What Are You Thinking?

That roller coaster of Valentine's Day is over.  Aren't you glad?  When we lived overseas there were no stores or Internet orders and I usually cooked something special for hubby and he mostly even forgot there was such a day.  (One could not accuse him of being a romantic!)

As his son and son-in-law have fallen in love and shown how it is done, he usually at least buys flowers and sometimes plans dinner somewhere special and gives me a well selected card.  This year with the snow and ice we stayed home and ate something ... nothing special but looked at a pink and red bouquet as we ate.  We have been married long enough to not feel bad about this.

For some women this would be a deal breaker, but he does show his love in so many other less traditionally romantic ways.  He brags about me and my interests to others, he kisses me goodbye, he makes sure there is gas in my car, he tries to be quiet when he crawls into bed at night after I have fallen asleep, he cooks great meals when I don't want to cook, he helps with housecleaning, he fills the bird feeders when I don't want to go out into the cold, he listens to me...well he USED to!

With the daily connection of FB, Valentine's Day must make it hard for some people.  Not only do you have to see someone getting flowers and candy at the office, but now those other ones post photos of what they got at home - that diamond pendant, or post photos of the fancy dinner at the expensive restaurant!  They gleefully line up their Valentine's day cards on their kitchen table and let you know how many people love them.

Personally I think this is so inappropriate and thoughtless and borders on bragging.  I am happy for your joy, but I wonder how it makes those who have no one special feel, I wonder how it makes that young man on a budget feel, I wonder how it makes that woman who just broke up feel, I wonder how it makes the widow or widower feel.

I think your Valentine's gifts and plans should be downplayed.  It is a private matter.  If you want to post an accolade to the someone or all the someones special in your life, then that is a different story.  Go ahead and share the love.

What do you think?

For You

 

Taken in Passau, Germany last year.

Thursday 13 on the 13th of the month---Who Lives in Florida, Anyway?

Canaveral National Seashore

Apologies for stereotyping, but when viewed superficially we all seem to be either round pegs fitting into round holes or square pegs that enjoy our surprise at the snug fit.

1. While crossing a theater lobby in Orlando we passed a young man in a suit (he seemed to work there) who weighed easily 400+ pounds. He had so many chins he was forced to hold his head way back.  He smiled and warmly greeted us as he moved past.  I wanted so much to grab his hand and find some way to help him live longer.  With his open attitude he deserved better luck. 
2. On another day, while eating in a Perkins restaurant in central Florida, I gazed around at the customers:  There were grandmas and grandpas that were so fat their bellies rested against the table as they ate and they were not shy about putting away their 2,000 calorie breakfast.
3. Also there, were hairy men in plaid shirts with lengthy beards that looked like cast members of Duck Dynasty, 
4. There were two attractive women in heavy mascara, with large breasts and lots of jewelry and long dark hair who could have been rejects from one of the "Housewives of..." television shows,
5. There were a few tourists blending in muted grayish colors who looked shell-shocked at the cold weather they had not expected, 
6. And there were casually dressed middle-aged men who talked about their golf game and wore shiny watches.
7. At another place, the Villages, (a Stepford-like conclave for middle class people who retire and want to live in an environment where everything is cotton candy perfect,) population 83,000 and currently lobbying for their own county status,  I saw old white people dressed so fine for a country club day.  But the only people of color that I saw there were the wait staff.
8. While driving through Lake Wales past its version of Bates Hotel, which used to be a gentle tourist retreat, I saw people walking into one of three Bail Bond's stores, people with hunched shoulders waiting in line outside a second-hand clothing shop for their 70% off Thursday sale, and two skinny girls walking down the sidewalk arguing who appeared to be on drugs and were later stopped by local Police officers.
9. At Celebration, an aging Disney version of the "perfectly" planned hometown, I saw happy children, well-dressed elderly, and teenagers in resort wear.  I talked briefly with an elderly man from London who lived there six months of the year walking his huge dog.  He said many of the homes here were upside down on their mortgages because of the recession.
10. At Marco Island I saw tourists with cameras and binoculars not at all interested in their fancy condos but instead watching waves and birds with glee and asking us botanical and ornithological questions (as if we knew anything).
11. Also at Marco Island I saw two young Latino men live-bait fishing and trying to avoid Hubby's questions on their catch since they probably had added fish that were too small to the stringer that was hidden under the waves and they suspected very much his claim that he was not with the fisheries office.
12. At almost all of the restaurants I saw at least two beautiful blonde waitresses working their way through college.
13. At the beach near Cape Canaveral I saw not one but two older men sun-bathing naked, one thin and gray and one a chunky-monkey,...not the kind of image one wants to retain on vacation.  I had been using our binoculars to look at the highrises in the salt spray distance (photo above)... when something bobbing back and forth ...yes you KNOW exactly what...came into sharp focus!  I am not a prude, but was not prepared, I must admit.  (Take note that parking lot #13 is the one leading to the beach for the free spirits!)

Yes, I did not have to leave home to see much of this, but I am not as observant at home.

Endlessness

They appear
Like soldiers
Blue or black
In neat dress
Standing sharp
Ready to
Hit their mark

Lined up
In perfect rows
Leaving space
Both below
And above
At attention
Until I dismiss

They wait
For my command
Mixed officers
And privates
Watching intensely
To see who
Will be chosen

Who's first and
Who is last

I cannot
Live without them
And they live
Only for me
Waiting, waiting
For their time
Their call

In boxes
On calendars
And on scraps
Of paper
Hoping they
Do not outlive
Their use-by date

Hoping they
will not
be forgotten
Hoping they
Get a check
And some
A star

Before they
Are discharged
With a single
Hard line
across their chests.

Best Laid Plans

My daughter had taken time for a girls' get-away to Florida two winters before and came back just furious that the weather had not been warm and sunny each time.  She has limited leave and it requires lots of organization to plan a brief vacation with her girl friends away from family and career.   Goodness, they could not even use their swim suits!

I used to be like her.  Vacations were expensive in both time and money and infrequent, and when they did not work out to 80% perfection, I was dismayed.  Now that I am retired, I am thankful for the smallest things, such as feeling energetic enough on a vacation morning to take a brief walk.   I am thankful that Hubby is by my side with his enthusiasm for everything, even though I do sometimes find that exhausting  I am thankful that I usually see something new and different.  I am thankful that I can still take vacations!

This photo is our view from our room at the expensive Marco Island hotel on the early evening of our arrival.  A cold and foreboding sunset was leaving its footprint on the Gulf of Mexico.

Here was the view after breakfast that greeted us the next morning.  Notice how many tourists are enjoying the beach?  I pulled out the wind-breaker I had packed.

Cold and rainy weather chased us all over the state during the two-plus weeks we were there.  Mid-week we drove to the Atlantic side and while half the day was full of sunny warm weather, by mid-afternoon...

Still one must remember, that for beautiful sunsets you must have some clouds!

A Bit of Paradise

We are fortunate enough to have friends that live in a small portion of the state of Florida that is still pristine.  Well, sort of...

We stayed at the former home of  Captain J.J. Dickison, "Swamp Fox," and confederate soldier during the war between the States. Go to this link for more info:  "Although he served as a captain for most of the war, he often commanded battalion sized groups of men and proved a formidable foe to Union forces in East and Central Florida.  Dickison and his men captured soldiers, officers, steamboats and even a Union general during the war.  Although he was promoted to colonel at the end of the conflict, he did not learn of the promotion until after he had been paroled by Union forces."

This is a private guest house and will be released to the U.S. Navy in the decade ahead as the owners have sold the amazing spring nearby to the Navy that has been doing sonar testing for many years.  I will post on my other blog photos of a canoe trip as we started at the head waters of this lovely spring one afternoon.  This land has been in the family for at least two generations.  

The interior of the guest house, which appears rustic from the outside, is filled with many memories of the owners' trips and adventures during their lives and those of their parents.  I felt as if I was staying at my great grandma's house, with newer appliances and wireless access!  The house was so solidly built with sappy pine that after all these years the floors do NOT creak.

This modern artwork above the fireplace is a "finger painting" from their young grandson!

This location provided a quiet step back in time when we stayed there.  At the end of our visit, Hubby was off on a week-long canoe camping trip in the Everglades with the owner and I stayed on a few days longer with his wife, a good friend.  During the days when I walked between the guest house and the main home after breakfast I was able to observe about 30 wild turkeys walking across the yard and patio, a blue heron walking the edge of the spring, and on another visit a bobcat sauntering down the edge of the woods.  It is paradise.  

I do want to mention that I was sure I had heard an alligator's hollow growl outside my window one evening as I snuggled into bed.  It was their mating season!  Just realize that alligators, for the most part, are more frightened of humans than we are of them, unless you are an idiot and feed them!

I hate the thought that this bit of paradise will be turned over to the Federal Government, because they will not see the romance and nature in the place and will run it based on uneven annual appropriations. 

The Business Side of Living in Paradise

Florida has over 1300 miles of coastline with beaches and a semi-tropical to tropical climate.  This is the draw for much of America and the globe when they want a vacation break from snow and ice.  This is where you can golf, swim, and play tennis year round. (Except many of the days we were here were cold and wet!) And this is where snow birds and frogs descend to escape the winter weather up north.  Snow birds come just for the winter and then return back home each summer.  Frogs come to stay until they croak.  Demographically in Florida, 18.2% of people are over 66, which is not as large a segment as one might think although it is higher than the national average.  Mean household salary is about $47,000.00.  I wonder if this is a typical working salary or a retiree's salary?  (All photos taken at Marco Island, some blurred -  taken from a canoe.)

Got beach??

Paddling off into the mangroves.

My husband was raised in southern Florida, so he is familiar with the entire state and can really see the changes that have happened over the decades.   He remembers hunting on vast acres of pine woods and palmetto scrub as a teenager.  Those acres are pretty much what the city of Orlando is today.  Back then Orlando was a small cattle town with a few orange groves and large cattle ranches and undeveloped land.  Today Orlando is theme parks, time-shares and anything else that caters to the tourist industry.  We spent a few days on Marco Island to the southwest and the geography from their to Naples above which used to be mosquito heaven is now the land of the very wealthy.  Castles that are homes on the beach and condos that cost a million dollars and hotel rooms over $300.00 a night are available, unless you want a water view and those hotel rooms are twice as much.  Further inland, as is the theme in most of  Florida, are less expensive condos, retirement homes and finally trailer communities on small lakes.  There are  more than 30,000 lakes that cover a little more than 3 million acres of land in the state, most natural but some are rock pits created from development and phosphate mining. The lakes range from very small to the nation's fourth-largest natural lake, 448,000-acre Lake Okeechobee. The temperature difference can be more than 10 degress warmer when you leave the beach areas and head inland during the summer and 10 degrees colder in winter.  Toward the Southeast lies Miami which is much like any city except that there are more flamboyant colorful types walking the streets.  Above Miami is Fort Lauderdale which struggles to survive as an old florida town now city.  They have built a riverwalk and culture area that is rather nice in downtown.

There were lots of people not in as good shape as this dude.

The very center of the state still has horse farms, cattles ranches, and orange groves (although I was told 80% of the citrus industry has collapsed due to "green disease.")  I actually received a gift of clementine oranges in a bag...that came from California!  This part of the state along with suburbs outside the above mentioned cities have communities struggling with poverty, drugs and illegal immigation.  Not unlike much of the rest of parts of the U.S.

Rick Scott, the current governor, has been against the Affordable Health Care act from the beginning, but that does not stop him from taking advantage of its Federal dollars.  Prior to his becoming governor his company was involved in a nasty health care lawsuit.  He took the 5th amendment over 70 times during the lawsuit.  He now has awarded his largest campaign donor a huge medicare/medicaid contract which most believe will result in much higher health care costs for those using it since it promotes for-profit health care which means a shaving of services to make a profit although much of this will be in the health care system in prisons paid for by tax dollars to profit this company.  His HCA company was reported on in a Wall Street (August 15, 2012)  article which reported that it used the profit profile to increase certain private hospitals' bottom lines while slashing medical care to many.  My advice is to not retire in Florida unless you are a millionare.

Yes, if the weather had been better, we would have had a great vacation, but we did have a nice time and staying indoors on a rainy day gave me time to blog.

Granny Alice in Wonderland

What had possessed us to stay in this area?  It was a coupon for a free week, of course.  We had spent money on a wedding and other things this year, and this resulted in us getting lots of points and the offer of a "free" stay in a condo.  The condo is in the heart of busy, traffic-congested, fast-food-filled, gift shop rip-off Kissimmee, Florida.  This is the center of the state and as if to test our vacation spirit even more, the very ridge of that famous solar vortex has edged here making the weather very cool and unpredictable with sun then rain then sun.  The condo where we are staying is a little larger than a postage stamp.  The swimming pool is even smaller.  We have a view of the large dumpster in the parking lot where they are currently dumping the building restoration materials from the other building that they are upgrading.  No shopping or restaurants are within walking distance, and the kitchenette is amenable only to cooking food via microwave.  At least it IS quiet at night and free!

We had spent a long weekend at a lovely hotel (expensive) on Marco Island and then another week's visit with friends near Ocala prior to this, so this wrap-up week is a bit of a downer.

Kissimmee, for those who do not know, is near three thousand (well a bunch of!) theme parks and shows and good and bad restaurants in Orlando.  You can visit Disney (3 theme parks), Universal Studios (2 theme parks), the Holy Land, Busch Gardens, Dinosaur World, and Cypress Gardens now LegoLand...just to name the most obvious.  You can visit Sea World and take a ride past penguins, blast off in a Jetlev personal flying machine, take a gater filled airboat ride, off-road somewhere in the jungle, swim with dolphins, zip line at the zoo or get tickets for their paint-ball shoot experience.  There are all kinds of Las Vegas type shows to fill your rainy afternoons and evenings.  If you have the money and time, you can do it all and stroll through the many outlet stores!

We have 'been there-done that' with our children and grandchildren over the years, and while we have not visited every single theme park or seen every single show, we are life-time satiated.  We are also here without young ones and have no need to maintain a check-off the list.  (If you are young, I am sure this sounds depressing to you, but when you get to be our age, you will not find it depressing.)

So, yesterday we drove to a state park, put in our canoe and paddled down a river to a lake.  I took a ton of bird photos (will share a few later on my other blog), saw deer, my first wild pig, and enjoyed a misty day.  The day before we visited the Orlando Zoo and a Florida spring, both which were nice if not thrilling.  Today they predict rain, so we may head to a shopping mall in the morning and then search out a show or movie later in the day.  Since we live in the country, it takes so little to please us.

Thursday and Friday are supposed to be sunny and warm, so we will flip a coin and drive the hour and a half to the Gulf shore or the hour to the Atlantic and beach it for a day.

I do NOT miss the weather that is happening where I live, but I am hoping my pipes did not freeze while I was gone!!

Searching for Just the Right Symbol

 
There were three of them, two men one younger and one older and a young woman.  Two did not want to be there; they were never big on symbolism or ceremony.  The young woman knew that she had to be the one to take the lead.  She firmly pushed her foot forward sliding into soft and impressionable sand out across the long beach toward the water and they dutifully followed.  The walk seemed longer than it had ever been.  Such a vast emptiness in front of them.

Weather was moderate.  Wind was gentle.  Air temperature was innocuous.  It was as if Mother Earth was napping today, or more likely, holding her breath to see if they got through this.

Was it just last year that the old woman had been sifting through these sands for shells and fossils?  Was it just last summer that they had to help her to her feet after a long afternoon sitting and crawling in the sand?  They gathered the plastic bags of finds, the water bottles and her small red cooler.  Then the young man had to find her wooden cane.  It was almost impossible to see it leaning against the pile of driftwood, already melding itself into oblivion, perhaps realizing that soon it would be cast out with all the other dusty and faded things which were no longer needed on this earth, those things that did not provide the warm memories needed for sustenance, those things that do not become interesting fossils returning after millions of years.

Today, they just had to find one fossil.  That was the challenge they had set for themselves.  One simple petrified tooth of a shark, perhaps, would suffice.

They were surprised at how therapeutic the sifting of sand through ones fingers felt after a while of the sun warming their backsides.  Like sugar it fell aside, just a few granules sticking to the inside of the fingers and leaving larger bits of flotsam and jetsam in hand.  How the old lady had loved this exercise.  Her eyes would light up with glee when she found something unusual or particularly lovely.  She would tuck it into her jacket pocket.  When her pockets got too full they would transfer the bounty to a large plastic storage container, to be further sorted and discussed at home for the rest of the afternoon until dinner.

They had never enjoyed it as much as she did, and usually, they played cards on the blanket, walked the shoreline, took photos of water birds, or played with the baby after its nap.  She would recognize compatriot collectors on the beach.  They would smile and nod and then come over and show her their finds or pull out a special tooth from their pocket and discuss whether it was from a sand shark or actually an Otodus.  Since this creature had no bones, all that was left for man to view after unimaginable years was its many teeth.

The young woman found the the first one, small but completely shaped and in two shades.  The men, minutes later, each found a tooth, almost at the same time, one larger than the other.  Three fossils and in excellent shape.  The old woman would have squealed in delight and would have ordered them to be careful and not lose them before placing them in the container.

Tomorrow they would visit her grave and each would have a special gift to place at the stone.  And they would feel her smile, from whatever sandy shore she now rested her soul no longer needing a cane or plastic holder or help in standing.

(Two photos completed with a skeleton of a story.)

How Do You Feel?

So, tell me...what do you think about travel?  Something to look forward to?  Something to be endured?  Something to be avoided?  What about modes of travel?  Which is your favorite?  Cruising?  Train?  Plane?  Automobile?  (I would include biking or walking, but I am talking about cross country right now.)  How do you feel about packing?  I have a routine and am OK with it except when I have to pack for cold weather, moderate weather and warm weather all at once.  OK with it except when I have to pack hiking wear, swimming wear, and dinner wear for the same trip as I am doing this time.

I used to love getting on an airplane, but with all the stupid restrictions, the tightening of space, the awful food, and the long security lines, I actually dread getting on a plane.  I do like train travel but have not done much of it, and so cannot really tell you if I would like it as a permanent selection.  Cruising on a large ship is my absolutely least favorite way to get somewhere.  I hate the fact that I am stuck on a manufactured moving island with too many people.  Eating, drinking high caloric substances and enduring manufactured fun are on the agenda and then you are allowed to disgorge somewhere for the day and fight everyone else to the museums, tourist shops and restaurants.  (I am not talking about the small cruise ships because they have much to recommend them.)

Anyway, this trip is by automobile.  Heading down to Georgia (Savannah) for a few days and then to Kissimmee, Marco Island and Ocala before heading home.  Husband is staying on for a half week canoe trip into the wilderness (and yes I do have thoughts of widowhood as I send him off to do his favorite things) and I will catch a plane out of Orlando back home to my daughter's house where I will have left my car. 

Will there be posts along the way?  Maybe...now go back and answer my questions in the first paragraph in your comments.  Oh, yes, those were prehistoric sharks teeth in the last post.)

The Gathering Place

Last month in between bouts of cold weather, we took two of our loved ones and headed out to the nearby "beach".  It is not on the ocean and the water remains shallow a long way out, but it is a nice pretense when one needs an open water type day.  It is a great place for a fossil hunt or beach glass find, and my son has married a gem of a girl who thinks something like this is actually a fun thing to do, explore vast amounts of sand.  (His last girlfriend had issues with a manicure.)

There were strollers, in the photo below two each both with long witches manes deep in some philosophical conversation as they took their constitutional.  I would have loved to have kept up a bit and listened in as you know very much what a nosy people watcher I am.

In stark contrast were two young ladies who had found some treasure on the beach and were eager to share with their mother.  How much would you pay to be that age again for just the day?  Maybe if you click on the photo, you can see their loyal best friend in the middle waiting for them to pass him so that he can once again catch up.

There are those who come with everything but the kitchen sink pushed on a small trailer to stay for a full day and enjoy the cool (58 degrees F)  but pleasant weather.  I cannot help but think his wife is at home enjoying a peaceful afternoon ;-)

Then there are the real solitary types for whom this communion with waves caressing the sand is a necessary or a greatly enjoyed restorative experience.  You can just see him in the far left.  I would give more than a penny for his thoughts.

And we did find a few fossil and beach glass treasures as a reward at the end of the day.

As person who loves stories, I wish I was creative enough to write one for each of these photos.

Hungry? Let's Play!

I saw the second installment of  a movie, The Hunger Games, over the holidays.  I had read the book trilogy a few years ago, and wondered why it was such an easy read, because it was pretty good.  Then I learned that it was written as a Young Adult series.  When I was reading I felt that it seemed not that far-fetched, and then I saw the two movies and felt that it was not really the future...it was the present.

Why?

If you have not read The Hunger Games you can go here for a Cliff's Notes Summary.  Or you can read my quick summary which leaves a lot out. or you can read the books.

Summary:  The books reflect a society that is under the control of the privileged few.  The privileged dress exotically, have exotic eating habits and hobbies, can indulge in almost anything and are happily ignorant of the fact that they are surviving on the backs of the various districts that produce food and products for them and keep the country going.  Each of these districts has a skill level, an important product or resource for the country, and in most cases a bare survival life style for its citizens.  They get money and food based on their contributions to the country and get additional bonuses if they have a winner in the hunger games.  The rich and powerful government tightly controls everything, has technological eyes everywhere, and finding out what is really going on is information only for the privileged few.   The games themselves involve an annual contest where children are "reaped" by lottery from each district and placed in a televised battle to the death with lots of science fiction animals, weather, and weapons and against each other.  It is a contest that reminds the citizens that a revolution against the Capital can result in annihilation.  I do not do the book justice with such a short summary, but it is a good (not great) read.

Now, back to my premise that we are in a society much like the one above and getting closer every year:

We have two societies already in this country:  1) The very wealthy and upper middle class  2) The rapidly shrinking middle class living on the edge and the growing poor.  Following are even more clues that we are strangely close to this story.  Our wars are not far from being battles to the death for our young (mostly) which we honor if they return, even missing pieces.

1)  The NSA scandal which indicates they watch us more than we know
2)  Fashion shows---I mean really have you seen anything more exotic than the parade of costumes the rich wear?
3)  News stories on men who dress as inflated dolls!
4)  Digital grieving and lighting virtual memory candles via computer for the departed.
5)  Edible packaging of foods
6)  The woman who had plastic surgery to look like a Barbie Doll.
7)  Clearly visible plastic surgery and Botox injections on male and female newscasters giving them the oddest places for wrinkles and dimples when they lift an eyebrow or grin.  Go ahead and check a few talking heads next time.
8)  The legalization of marijuana which has resulted in pot hotels with pot smoking lounges, a surge in buildings that are designed for growing the weed, and a new Wall Street fund for pot that is growing like madness.
9).  While the U.S. poverty level has been reduced in this country since the war was declared by President Johnson, world poverty is growing very fast.
10)  One citizen worries about their next meal while another citizen buys the fancy package for their new car that will not only heat the seats in the winter but also cool those same seats in the summer. 

And lastly...3-D printers that can print pets that do not need to be fed or cleaned up after......yes, maybe that one is made up, but do you really think that is very far away?

Half of us get lazier and half of us work so much harder.  It is the Hunger Games.

Contrasts and Missed Opportunties or the Downside of the Holidays.

A series of pre-holiday incidents that made me think and wonder when I will get it right:

In early December, when we were setting up our Christmas tree, the 'Thin Man' who had felled those large trees this summer knocked at our door for a reason we never finally understood.  He seemed to think we wanted more mulch, but perhaps that was Hubby's comment because the Thin Man never said that.  He began in a fitful fashion to explain about the recent theft of most of his equipment from his storage yard which resulted in  letting go all the staff but two for economic reasons, and a further ramble about police, his exploration of the 'hood' (a term which he apologized for using), and other tails of his activities in his pursuit of the missing saws and a generator.  Later he confused the story even more by saying that two of his workers had up and quit for no reason, and that he suspected them of the theft.  We surmised he had been drinking due to his glazed red eyes, although his manner was polite and his voice clear.  After lengthy anecdotes on his part and our sympathetic responses, he finally left us standing with tree ornaments still in hand in the open doorway and unformed questions.  There was no offer of a bonus holiday gift from us, as he claimed to have $1800 in his pocket (?) and there did not seem to be a way to help him without belittling him in some way.  He left us with a rather dour feeling in our hearts for days after.  There are so many people in this world that seem to be the victims of their own mistakes and behavior, but who are basically not bad people.

The following week we headed up to Philadelphia to attend a 50th wedding anniversary of friends.  We spent a day layover to enjoy the city, and as luck would have it, we were there to enjoy a small and lovely wet snow.  Big sloppy flakes fell everywhere.  Within minutes struggling cities are transformed into postcard scenery after such wet snowfalls.  We slogged through the streets to look at holiday window displays, shopped at their famous downtown market center with breakfast crepes to die for,

and watched the Macy's Christmas light show in the shoe department...yes, it is a family tradition here as we met a three generation example listening to Julie Andrews voice host the singing.

We also thought we saw the Pie in the Sky guy...just an inside joke for British readers.

By the time we returned to the outside, several ambulances were stopped at various intersections for various reasons.  We crossed the street only to see a large man fall to the sidewalk while crossing an icy patch just ahead of us.  He did not move after that.  Several people tried to help him up, but he did not respond and was too heavy for them to lift.  We hailed a nearby ambulance driver, who responded that he could not stop because he was on a call, but finally, at our insistence, exited the vehicle to check on the fallen pedestrian.  (Drunk, drugged, elderly, homeless hoping for shelter?)  Who could tell with all the bundled clothing and snow-covered face.

We then trundled into a pub down the alleyway and watched an afternoon wintery football game over a lunch of mussels and pasta and wine under lots of holiday glitter before a foul-mouthed ardent Eagles fan made us return to our hotel room with our holiday purchases to watch the second half of the game in peace and quiet.  Then it was back out to dinner at a place recommended by the hotel.  One of those places where the servings are small (you order various tapas) and the seating is miniscule.  The only thing large, are the prices, of course.  We had become good friends of the young couple seated just to the side of us (another story for another day) before we had even ordered dessert since we were seated close enough to cut each others food!

It was late, dark, and very cold as we departed the restaurant for our two block walk back to our hotel.  The streets were no longer busy with shoppers or automobiles.  We passed one homeless person bundled like a wrapped mummy in the shadowy shelter of an entryway to one of the stores.  I did not stare, only glanced, still focused on my walking and not falling.  The person's face was covered in scarfs and tucked down, never noticing the outside world in his struggle to stay warm.

I was concentrating on walking carefully across the icy sidewalk and while I had finished only one glass of wine, I was not feeling as coordinated as I would have liked.  Hubby and I did not hold hands or take each others arms or take our eyes off of the treacherous terrain ahead for very long.  It was every person for him/herself!  Life can be like that sometimes.

Then out of the shadows a man without head cover but in a warm winter coat and holding the hand of a small bundled boy approached us asking if we lived in the area and knew about it.  We glanced up, apologized that we did not know the area at all, looked down again and we continued to carefully make our way forward.  The man started to cross the street and then turned back to us explaining he was looking for a shelter where he could get a hot meal.  I took him at his word and pointed to the Catholic church down the block, because I had seen it lit for mass earlier when we went to our dinner.  He headed in that direction and we continued on our way.

Stupidly, it did not occur to us to give him money for food.  Although the restaurants in that area were all very expensive and mostly took reservations at that late time of night.  The incident and my casualness haunted me all evening.  Was that a test from God?  Was that an angel in disguise?  Was I so focused on not falling and finding warmth that I let a child go hungry that night?  Later when I was inside and warm I wondered why did I not offer to take him to our hotel coffee shop?  ( I had written a check to a church with a winter homeless shelter just the week before, but it was a church far, far away from here and that in no way eased my conscience.)

Homelessness has a long history in our wealthy country.  Philadelphia's first pan-handling ordinances were passed in the 1820's, so disenfranchisement is historic to this area.  It is a very complicated issue.  Many of our homeless are veterans and families of veterans.  Approximately two-thirds of our homeless are disabled in some way.  Mental patients were released from state run hospitals in the 1970s with a cut in Federal spending and these people ended up on the streets creating our first bump in homelessness.  Bigger cuts to housing subsidies, low-income mortgages, and HUD agency budget cuts happened in the 1980's.  That is when I saw more homeless people when I went into the cities.  “people who are sleeping on the grates…the homeless…are homeless, you might say, by choice.”  A quote from one of our former presidents who actually believed that and most likely never interviewed a homeless person in his wealthy life or lived in a northern climate. 

"According to the United States Conference of Mayors, in 2008, the three most commonly cited causes of homelessness for persons and families were a lack of affordable housing, cited by 72 percent, poverty (52%), and unemployment (44%).  The suggestions to alleviate homelessness included providing more housing for persons with disabilities (72%), creating more employment opportunities (68%), and building more assisted housing units (64%)."  (Wikipedia)  We do not have affordable housing but we do have empty houses abandoned by the banks who wrote obscene mortgages.  Abandoned houses that no longer make the banks any money, but blight the neighborhood.  What if the banks wrote them off, and taking those not purchased by those fancy real estate flippers, found some way to sell the leftovers to the newly homeless?  I live on a street where a house, that might have garnered $700,000 to $800,000 dollars during the boom, has sat idle for years and is now falling apart.  Yes it is too far into the country for an unemployed family, so perhaps not the best example...just an example of the write-it-off mentality of mortgage brokers.

This December Congress cut food stamps (which mostly go to feed poor children) and did not extend long term unemployment insurance with the view that it would encourage people to look for jobs.  No one ever cites a survey or study on how starving people makes them look harder for a job, so in my book, that is what they are, opinions to ease guilt of lawmakers doing this.  The few people I know who have used unemployment benefits are certainly not happy about it, and would take a job if they could find one.  But job creation is another very complicated issue.

Thanks to this pathetic, disengaged Congress, there will be more homeless and hungry on our streets in the coming months and throughout the year.  There will be more sleeping bodies on the streets for my grandchildren to pass on their way to the museum.  One U.S. Congressman suggested we put children to work as janitors if we are going to give them a free/subsidized school breakfast.  (Then we could fire the working father janitor and get cheaper child labor?)  At least we haven't completed the grand immorality that Japan has.   Japan has a solution for their homeless people...! 

Knock, Knock...Who's there?

My house is clean, my decorations packed away, my refrigerator and freezer being slowly emptied over the weeks ahead to use up all the "old" food.  (What a blessing to write that I have old food when many have little food.)  My floors are vacuumed and/or mopped, my laundry done, and the guest bedrooms' sheets all changed.  I ran my 3 and a quarter miles on the elliptical today and lifted some free weights...none of these were New Year's resolutions, because that makes them dangerous and confining.  I just like to start with a clean slate and hopefulness and find some way to justify that glass of wine or plate of dessert.

2014 welcomes us anal-retentives, just as she does those who are celebratory rather than Puritanic in nature and those who slouch, still half- asleep on the sofa, trying to watch the Rose Bowl game and trying to not think about their dread of the work day ahead. (Been there and done that!)

2014 also welcomes those who rise from a tangle of ribbons and partially cleaned food plates and watch little children that have way too much energy as they greet the first day of this year.  She smiles at those who gaze at piles of laundry and wonder if they will start the sorting before they run out of underwear.

2014 also welcomes those who spent the day at the hospital/rest home/therapeutic foster home holding a hand and trying to smile more and trying to remember gentle and humorous anecdotes for someone they love.  2014 comes with a ray of promise and a pat on the shoulder.

2014 welcomes those who have seen many new years come and go, and who now wonder how many they will see in the future.   2014 takes their shoulders in her forceful hands and says, "One day at a time, my friend...do not stare at the future.  Savor today!"

But 2014 is especially happy to greet those who took that leap, changed that habit, headed down that new and very different trail, made that big decision and changed their life forever for the better.

You Make Me Better Than I Am

With all of life's struggles and challenges, there are always a few things in life one finds restorative.  A few things that give the hope and energy to take that step forward.  A few things that weave us back into the fabric of life.  I believe that not only do we have to keep an awareness of those moments when they touch us, but we have to savor and re-visit those moments.  Close your eyes and think of the last time you smiled inside and felt ever so briefly restored.

Was it when you finally got that angel to balance on the tree?
Was it when your unshaven son gave you a scratchy kiss.
Was it that gift bottle of wine that reminded you of your sunset bicycle ride so long ago?
Was it that bestfriend dog wet-kiss that surprised you after such a long day of errands?
Was it that holiday card from someone you have not seen in years and years?
Was it that sale on a sweater you have been eying for weeks?
Was it that toddler girl at the holiday party who stopped wide-eyed to look at the tree?
Was it the patience from your loved ones when you burned the first batch of cookies?
Was it finding Grandma's platter that had been stored way at the bottom of the drawer?
(Yes, these are not universal incidents...but you can certainly add your own.)

For me, many of these moments were savored reading the comments from my blog readers that I read and re-read this past week.  Talk about restorative!  You make me want to be a better writer/communicator/photographer than I am.  You remind me that the great fabric of life is both virtual and concrete.

My Christmas (Holiday) Card to You.

As most of my readers know, I am not a religious person.  I could write that I am an agnostic, but I am not a person who spends energies being skeptical of hope.  That term does not fit my more positive outlook on spirituality, which is seeking the energy of peace and understanding. All religions appeal to me in small ways.  Therefore, I do celebrate Christmas, which is certainly all about hoping for peace.  The ornament on the left in the photo was made decades ago by my mother-in-law.  I treasure it as I treasured her and regret that I did not show her more of that love when she was with us.  This will be my last post for a while as I am traveling up north both for Christmas and to child-sit and then to go to my son's birthday party!!  My your new year be filled with PEACE and UNDERSTANDING.

Joy

Take four minutes from your craziness today and go here.  I never get tired of these and they always bring a tear to my eye.  As many times as I have been to this museum I somehow missed this.. ;-)

OK, So I Am Posting

I have been alone for several days while my better half is on travel to Florida where the temperature, according to him, is not much warmer.

When alone, I have time to wander, ponder, dilly and even dally if the cause strikes me, and blog, which was something I had put on hold for a short time.  I was playing Christmas music and wrapping the many gifts that I buy each year once again breaking my promise to buy less.  I had finished about 80% of the toys and clothes and decided to head to bed.  As I turned off lights last night and headed to bed, the view to my back deck glowed and I noticed the golden rain that had frosted the deck with honey.  It was just above freezing and that is why this water looks almost frozen.  I thought briefly how glad I was that I did not have to go out in this weather either to party or to work, but, it does look deceptively beautiful, when one is cozy and warm inside.

When I woke the next morning early before the sunrise, as I most often do, I looked outside and saw that the weather had sugar dusted the yard in snow.  I put on my camouflage outfit and headed out for a walk in the dark hoping to sneak up on the woodcock that lives in the ravine.  When I returned I notice that the motion lights were on and this gave me a little Christmas card scene.

I just had to share it right away, and who is more important to share such beauty with than my bloggers?

Keep warm!

II

Pushing the pause button this week. I am recovering from Thanksgiving, babysitting, and going forward with holiday shopping.  While I find blogging and reading blogs a compelling activity, I accept that I do have a life with some bigger demands.  I will certainly be away until the new year is underway.  If you are curious (Ha!) I will be organizing my 10,000 (actually my index says there are 43,689--but I cannot get my mind around THAT(!)) photos.  I will be cleaning out closets of old photographic prints and leftover linens.  I will be organizing that pile of books at the end of my bed table which seems to be so fecund and falling over onto the ground when I bump them in the dark on my way to the bathroom.  I hope to finally decide how to organize my overflowing pantry...and may give away some dishes and stuff and buy MORE containers.

Toodle-loo.  (Oh, in case you want to know WHAT I have been doing before this...)

Getting the rest of the wedding gifts back to my son and out of the guest bedroom.

Doing karate.

Dancing to Christmas music.

Assisting with homework.

Feeding the chickens that were guests over the weekend.

Bowling

(Actually watching bowling.)

Dealing with despair.

Checking out the dinosaurs.

Marveling at butterflies.

!!!

And, at this time of year, there always there has to be a visit to Thomas. (Yes, this is Percy, but Thomas was also there.)

See you next year!

Who Are You? Is That a Resolution?

I sometimes watch my adult children and wonder what genetic mix has created them with their energies, self-confidence, optimism, forgiveness and golden humor.  Where did they get the wisdom to see what is truly important.  I see these traits in the man I married, an only child, doted on and given opportunities galore to succeed or fail.  The only child of an aging couple in their second marriages who saw this child as their second and last chance to get it right.  And thus he sees himself as an important cog in the wheel of life.

I thought I had the above traits, but age has given me the wisdom to see I am a punctual, list adhering soul given to joy only when all has been completed and put away and failure is no longer an option.  Only when the small rest time that is given as reward for work well done, do I allow myself to be open and less attentive.  I do not like these traits in myself and this past decade as my adult children have held up this mirror, I have tried to change and mellow out just a bit.  It is hard work to change oneself and also is an embarrassment to do this.  It is hard to stop and remember to look at the view on the way up instead of waiting until you are at the very top to relish the hard work and share the joy of the view with others.

I was the oldest of five with many chores and responsibilities.  My mother was critical of much that I did and only gave praise for good grades as she knew this was the gateway for her children to a better life.  All else was expected and she did not forgive you if you became distracted by daydreaming.  Life was not a bowl of cherries but a tall cherry tree which must be climbed for any reward.  She focused most of her attention on the youngest as that was all that her remaining energies allowed and she expected me at an early age to be more of an adult.  I write this not to place blame but to see more clearly why I am the way that I am, why I am always the adult in my family, why I need down time, why going soft and making mistakes is scary for me and why I am critical of those who put fun before deadlines.

But I will keep trying and little by little I will not be so focused on clearing the path, but picking the flowers.

Thank You!!

Not too many years ago, with the help of Oprah Winfrey, Americans rediscovered thankfulness.  They read books, took seminars and started "thankfulness journals."  It was a fad, but a good fad, certainly better than anything the Kardashians had given us in this decade.  I am sure that ministers and priests and monks and nuns and other spiritual souls just shook their heads in disbelief, because this is their calling and what they had been telling people to practice for years.  An overweight, rich, black lady had somehow gotten through, past the soap operas, the shopping channel, and those questionable religious programs.  Yes, most of the listeners were woman with small children or those without jobs, but their actions spread like ripples on the pond to their families and loved ones.  Goodness grows slowly but goes on forever.

I cannot list all the things I am thankful for this year (my readers are high up in the list) because this post would be way too long.  I would begin with the big things like a faithful devoted husband and beautiful children and grandchildren and finally wind my way down to things like the beauty of floating feathers and the fact that we are made from stardust which connects us to this vast and awesome universe in a magnificent way.

I hope that your Thanksgiving Day, whether with those you love, those you cannot stand, or with just yourself, has a peaceful moment where you can stop and ponder all the good things in your life that you are thankful for.

(My jury duty was cancelled postponed until next week, so even though it is a civic duty, I am thankful for that small reprieve.)

Crazy Sunday

It was a crazy Sunday in the supermarket the weekend before Thanksgiving.  I have been notified that I may very well be on jury duty on the Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving...so I have had to reevaluate my free time and meal planning for the coming week.

As I entered the market and grabbed a small shopping basket for a few last minute items to make a little birthday cake for DIL, I could feel the tension and energy sucking the oxygen from my space around me.  When I scooted past the produce section, I saw there were people everywhere.  Mostly couples, perhaps on their way home from church...although not in fancy dress, comparing lists and pointing here and there with their heads close in conversation.

"Where is the condensed milk?" asks one lady with a small child to a woman putting price tags on something.
"Where are the sanitary wipes?"  one husband looks up from the list and asks his wife who is perusing the cereal aisle.
"Can you tell me where I can find ginger snaps?" asks one man of the store clerk who is stuffing even more boxes of cream cheese onto the refrigerator shelf.

I sighed and try to get through my list as fast as possible skipping most of the aisles and heading for checkout.  EVERY SINGLE CASH REGISTER is BUSY and has at least two groups of customers with full carts waiting in line.  EGAD!  Now the tension and energy have peaked and my ears are starting to ring.  Then I notice that one of the aisles without a light has only one large cart waiting to unload its bounty and I scoot quickly behind.  Soon someone is behind me!

"It is OK, Rod, but I am not a big fan of green beans."  says the male voice behind me.
"Well, I never made it but it has .....like...fried onions on top...I think you use cream of mushroom soup.."
"Well, I guess I could try it if it wasn't too soupy."
"It is sort of a traditional dish, I think."

Curiouser and curiouser as I want to know what two men look like who talk in detail about a green bean casserole.  I put on my best grandma smile and turn to look at them as I unload my last item and put the basket under the counter. 

They were in their late 30's or early 40's and dressed in sweater vests like they had just returned from church.  They smiled back and appeared to be embarrased that I had overheard their conversation.

The talk continued although they seemed a little awkward with each other.

Finally as I was sliding my credit card, one of the men stopped at the end of the aisle and grabbed a CD from a Christmas display.  "Wow...Barbara Streisand...nice."

The other guy laughed..."Barbara Steisand?"

"Well, I like her music!"

"Really?"

"Well...yeah...I guess I wouldn't listen to her everyday."  The other man laughed.

I may be wrong...but I think that it is this couple's first Thanksgiving together.  What do you think?

With Lots of Cream and Sugar

Yes, that is the way I take it.  I like my coffee strong but I also buffer that with lots of cream and a good teaspoon of sugar.  What you drink in the morning pretty much tells me who you are.  You like it hot and black, then you face life as it comes and you handle it!  You like your coffee warm and weak, then you face life with hesitation and regret and wish the morning had not come so fast.  You don't drink coffee at all but would rather have an ice cold Pepsi in the morning?  Then you are a rule breaker and do not have much patience for those who make the rules. You need the hair of the dog in the morning, then life has you by the tail and until you let go you are in for a bumpy ride.  Me, I can take life as it comes, but want it frosted and creamy and hot.  (Pop psychology?  Better than Stossel's report...see below.)

There are those of us who see poor people working through life as best they can under the crazy circumstances.  There are others of us who think poor people make their own problems and deserve the circumstances they are in from not dealing with those problems as they should have.  This in a nutshell is how I see the battle over health care.  Some people think that only the social network of help can make sure someone gets the healthcare they need whether they created the problem though drug use or drinking or over eating or over working or not being able to deal with fighting in an ugly war.  Other people think that life is a crap shoot and if you don't keep your eyes open and your hand firmly on "the tiller, the wheel, the gun"...whatever and your shoulder to the grindstone you are not going to make it through the week much less the rest of your life.  They rely on a few good friends and that is that, or they rely on the  church being able to sort all this out.

Of course, as you know, I think it is far more complicated than that and the truth is all over the place.  There are the users and abusers who we have to keep from sucking us dry and we have to avoid being an enabler.  There are the unlucky whom we must help, because they can survive and make contributions of their own.  But since they do not all wear signs, we will make mistakes.  And much of this is perception.  Do we perceive that the majority that are in need are lazy and purposely greedy or do we see them as unlucky, not too smart, and fearful?  John Stossel (one of those talking heads on faux news who tries to present the image of a journalist, but never bothers to ask the ask who, what, where, when and why questions) demonstrated that anyone can panhandle (as he did again in a bearded disguise), and thus claimed that those who give to the homeless are dupes.  The demo only proved to me that most people are good-hearted and most conservative journalists find it too much work to research their subject matter in depth.

Hubby talked to our investment adviser yesterday since the market is going crazy and hubby is reaching that age where he is required by law to withdraw a certain percentage of his investments annually.  (A rule that allows the taxman to get his share sooner rather than later.)  They talked about the market (as unpredictable as ever) and our adviser said something that brought me up short.  He was speaking from the millionaires point of U. S. view as I am sure he makes and has a lot of money.  He said that the financial folks see the demographics as a disappearing middle class, with the separation  forming that will break out to the top 15% and then everyone else.  It would be nice to blame this on conservative or liberal politics, but it started back in the 1980's. I blame it on the rich being able to make the rules.

This will not impact me much, because I am not 20 or 30 or 40 or 10!  It will impact those I love who come after me.  There will be the vast wilderness surrounding gated communities.  Will it be a world like The Hunger Games...but without the games or will it be more chaotic than that?  Will cream and sugar be able to null the bitter taste in one's mouth as they look out their window in the morning?

(On the other hand it appears that health care costs are going down!)

Memories Are Made of Feathers and Follies

If you have done any reading in the news lately you may have seen an article where scientists have taken those memory geniuses...the ones who remember the exact color of your tie when you fought with them on March 16, 1989, the ones that remember exactly what they ordered a year ago at their favorite restaurant, the ones that remember the headline on the newspaper they were reading on the morning of...whatever morning you may ask about, and tested them more closely.  These people are far more amazing than your ex-wife who manages to remember every (wrong) thing you ever did onward from your wedding day.  These folks remember details, lots of miniscule details that we all have forgotten and could care less about.

If you have ever heard or seen the French/American musical called Gigi which played in movie theaters in 1961, you may remember the love song between two elderly lovers who have different versions of how they met and what had happened that important night.  (I loved that movie and wish there were more like it.  It was a perfect romantic movie and Maurice and Hermione were fantastic!)  I also love this song.

But, perhaps, I should return to the direction of my wandering thought if I can remember accurately the direction that I wished to go.  Recent studies of these genius souls whose brains (which contain more fat tissue than yours or mine) remember everything has revealed that they do get some details wrong.  There are incorrect colors, times of day and places.  They just remember so much stuff accurately, that we think they are perfect.  They remember 100 details, but may get 10 of them wrong.  We remember 3 details...and maybe they are mostly inaccurate.

An article that I red online in The Daily Beast recently discussed new research which revealed how our memory changes and evolves as we age.  We leave out bad things that do not fit our version of who we are or we forget those things that we cannot bear to attach to our lives.

"When people get older, they seem to have less tolerance for that," says McAdams. "They’ll kind of reconstruct the past and forget or downplay the bad stuff a little bit.”  “It’s kind of like history. Your life story, at least with respect to the past, is not fixed,” says McAdams. “It’s always going through a revision. In the same way that historians revise how they see the past -- they see World War I one way now and maybe in 30 years they’ll see it a different way -- you see your childhood now one way and later a different way in part because of what you’re going through at that time.”  

Apologies for not saving the link, but since I am not a journalist, I am sure you will forgive me.  If you are a researcher or librarian you will surely find the article above if you try.

I guess if I wrote a small biography, it would be a little like Swiss cheese with chocolate sauce, having a small amount that was true and accurate and a goodly portion that made me a much better person than I am.  I would really like to go back in time and see it all as it really was!  It kind of bothers me that I do not see my life as it really was.