There are more days lately when I ponder at the strange hands that have attached themselves to my arms. The skin has thinned around the bones arteries and tendons, and while they do not look claw-like, they are no longer smooth and plump. They are spotted with liver spots...what an ugly term! The spots clearly appear on the top half of my hand that would be most exposed to the sun over the decades I have lived on this earth. They appeared gently a few years ago and now they have settled in and darkened to a nice dotted tan.
I remember once shopping with my mother-in-law before her dementia took her personality away. She was looking for a Porcelana cream that was purported to remove age spots. I, without any sensitivity, thought it was a foolish project, but politely did not say that out loud and helped find the magic potion. She was in her 80's. I was thinking that of course she would have liver spots and she should just accept that! Why would anyone have any vanity left when they reached their 80's?
Now, in my mid-sixties I realize that a little vanity is healthy and an example of how we hope to live longer and to be admired a little longer. That is only human nature and not a foolish project trying to look younger and healthier. I accept the fact that only major surgery would achieve any erasing of the years in my case. A jar of cream isn't going to do anything much but empty my pocket book, but creams for softer skin, gentle coloring for gray hair, careful purchase of bright and stylish clothes that flatter (hide) the gravity prone figure are all acceptable moves. Even teeth whitening makes one look healthier if it can be afforded.
I realize that who I am in my heart is the most important trait I have. I also have learned in old age that most of society will not even notice I am in the room unless I speak out boldly to demand attention. But a little gilding of the aging lily is not such a bad thing, as long as it does not become a blind obsession attached to unrealistic expectations..
I remember once shopping with my mother-in-law before her dementia took her personality away. She was looking for a Porcelana cream that was purported to remove age spots. I, without any sensitivity, thought it was a foolish project, but politely did not say that out loud and helped find the magic potion. She was in her 80's. I was thinking that of course she would have liver spots and she should just accept that! Why would anyone have any vanity left when they reached their 80's?
Now, in my mid-sixties I realize that a little vanity is healthy and an example of how we hope to live longer and to be admired a little longer. That is only human nature and not a foolish project trying to look younger and healthier. I accept the fact that only major surgery would achieve any erasing of the years in my case. A jar of cream isn't going to do anything much but empty my pocket book, but creams for softer skin, gentle coloring for gray hair, careful purchase of bright and stylish clothes that flatter (hide) the gravity prone figure are all acceptable moves. Even teeth whitening makes one look healthier if it can be afforded.
I realize that who I am in my heart is the most important trait I have. I also have learned in old age that most of society will not even notice I am in the room unless I speak out boldly to demand attention. But a little gilding of the aging lily is not such a bad thing, as long as it does not become a blind obsession attached to unrealistic expectations..