Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Difficulties in Aging---Not What You are Thinking

Ronnie at Time Goes By and Rain at Rainy Day Thoughts both wrote about aging and all its discomforts and our honesty with that.  So I had to add my two cents.

Remember when people carried you everywhere and wouldn't put you down so that you could explore freedom on your own...no?  Well at my age I can explore all I want and society provides artificial joints, walkers, mobile wheel chairs, pain killers and nice level boardwalks so that I can continue to do this exploration and I can do it on my own.

Difficulties in aging as a toddler:  I remember when I was a toddler the first time I hit my head on the doorknob, and I realized that getting taller had its disadvantages. The next time I had to wear pants that were too tight and a dress that cut me under the armpits because I had outgrown them overnight.  Now I am only slightly smaller than I was a few years ago and I have stopped growing and I like my height just fine, thank you. I no longer have to worry about doorknobs or clothes.  If I outgrow my clothes, it is my own damn fault.

I remember when getting dressed was something that required intense study.  The right length skirt, the perfect blouse, those awful bad hair days.  Those were my teen years.  Today getting dressed is primarily getting clean and finding something clean and comfortable to wear.  I sometimes care that I don't look like a bag lady, but I don't dwell on it, because I do not care all that much what others think about how I look.

I remember the strain of new job interviews, the pain of writing proposals, the agony of public speaking, the careful dance of arguments with colleagues and the constipation of biting my tongue during my adult years when dealing with a crazy person in the office.  I no longer worry about any of that stuff.  I will not argue with you if I think I cannot win you over to my way of thinking, but I also do not hide my beliefs nor fear them.  I will also listen to your side because I also do not think my beliefs are carved in stone.

I remember the agony of watching my children grow and leave me to pursue adventures of their own.  The sad dullness of an empty house and my being fired as a parent.  That was a real difficult age.  I have out grown that agony and in these elder years I find I can accept the fact that I must allow my children to make their own mistakes and live their own lives, because that is what I wished from my parents.  I also welcome all the free time I now have.

I remember during my 50's the concern and a little dread about aging and the difficulty of looking into those elder years ahead and becoming an old person who would have little to do with their time.  Now that I have arrived here, I find it is just like being a younger person.  It has its challenges and rewards and it is what you make of it.  Some of the challenges can be overcome and others must be accepted with grace and compromise, like that teenage figure you were given.  And the rewards at this time in my life are are a morning sunrise and and an evening sunset and all the time in the world to enjoy them.

So difficulties in aging are just a part of life at any age and if we did not have them, I am thinking we would not enjoy life nearly as much.

I saw an interview with the poet, Christian Wiman, who was diagnosed with a serious cancer in his 30's and I was amazed and pleased by the grace that he shows day to day.  So difficulties must be handled at every age.  Quit your whining.

25 comments:

  1. thanks for stopping by....did you have lyme disease ?

    i will have a blood test in 6 weeks just to be sure i'm okay.

    she truly believes in the heavy antibiotic day dose i took since i knew within less then 24 hours i had been bit....

    thanks for any information you can give me....beth

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  2. I absolutely love this post. I love this time in my life. I can't think of an age I'd want to go back to.

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  3. Amen! Except I can't remember worrying about which dress to wear. And nowadays I probably do look at little bit like a Bagman...lol. Great post.

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  4. I have actually compared old age to teen years for the changes that come along and totally surprise you even though others have told you about them or you knew they were coming. I had someone comment who was saying she had no idea how her 80s would be based on her early 70s. In a way that's the difference with teen years. While we might know for sure how our body will end up, we have a general idea of the game plan. With old age, we might experience what our family did or take a whole different route. The not knowing for sure how it'll be is part of what keeps it interesting.

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  5. As long as there's a road ahead, the journey is a wonder.

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  6. Tabor, I relate to much you shared.
    Now that 80 is becoming closer then that 70 number - the most important things have become my health, staying independent and wisdom.

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  7. Yes, each age has its advantages and its challenges. I am appreciating the aging process because, frankly, the available alternative is not that appealing.

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  8. Your points are very well taken. I, too, feel as you do, although in my 50s and still have children at home.

    No one gets through life without hardships, however, I consider it (life) such a gift!

    I will get to where you are in 10 years or so, but until then, I want to experience the joys of the stage I'm in. And when a bad day or period comes along, I look forward to when it gets good again.

    Good for you and your inspiring attitude.

    Also, thanks for all the comments that you leave on my blog. I enjoy hearing your wise and interesting thoughts.

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  9. A very interesting post, I agree each stage has it's pros and cons. And that is the wonder of the journey after all!

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  10. I think I like my 50's fine. I don't compare older age to teens, because I like many was rather insecure as a teen. So being secure is a great part of being older--My dad used to say he didn't give a damn.

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  11. Fired as a parent?! Yikes. I never thought of it that way.

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  12. Bravo Tabor. This one set my elderly head a'spinning. I've gone from dressing each day for work and fixing hair and make-up, to fearing that I will be captured on one of those Walmart people videos. LOL

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  13. Growing older is not for the feint of heart that is for sure!
    Well said.
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  14. I agree with your thoughts. Life is much easier in many ways now than I am retired. But there are still some days I wish to go back and relive and enjoy those good times in the past.

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  15. Look at all these comments. You have touched on a topic that appeals to all of us.

    Me: Still in my fuchsia sweats from the pool. I feel really good physically tho fighting the usual mental fogs to create a small essay on Women Architects. My husband got promoted, and I'm really pleased for him.

    You: Yes, we are free again this time without parents to say that we are to be home at 4. I bet you are enjoying your special home and the acres around it without your walking cast. Sometimes we hurt, but sometimes life is magic....just as you remind us. Thanks.

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  16. "Quit your whining."

    Amen. There is something good at every age, no matter the difficulties that also show up.

    I'm 55, and I'm blessed to be going out on a ballfield this coming Saturday to begin another season (maybe my last, but who knows?)

    Am I the player I was in my 20's? Hell no. But do I appreciate it more now? You bet! And there is a certain amount of respect from the younger guys, too, who can't imagine themselves at my age :-)

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  17. I agree with you completely. No whining. Take what you've got and run with it.

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  18. I absolutely agree with you!

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  19. What a wonderful, post! I felt the need to attempt a comment on my iPhone. Lol. I will admit I do still sometimes hit myself on the doorknob. Nowadays I just hope to find something that isn't wrinkled. My challenge since hitting 40 is finding the time to fold the laundry, as sad as that sounds.

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  20. The only thing I haven't got used to in my older years is:

    The mind says yes, yes, yes but the body says no, no, no.

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  21. I love your writing and your knockout photography. I'm putting you on my blogroll.

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  22. Anonymous12:46 AM

    I came here via Hattie's blogroll and have put you on mine. You certainly are a wonderful writer. As my husband would say: You have a way with words!

    I can relate to this post in more ways than one.

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  23. Great insight and perspective, as always! I am not whining for my youth, and have absolutely no desire to be a teenager again. I find that I am content right where I am, and frankly feel like I am growing into myself more and more with each passing day. It is a good feeling. I also do agree with SueAnn who said "Growing older is not for the feint of heart!"

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  24. I loved this post...and will remember it the next time I begin a rant about someone deciding for me that I am "older."

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  25. AM\EN to all you said. Nearly everyone could have it worse - unless bedridden or paralyzed - and even then there can be silver linings to life. (At least I think I could find some.)

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.