This is Reale

L. stopped by my cubicle and told me every time she saw her boss his face was red and he was angry. She was avoiding him as she did her work.

She also told me that she was afraid he would try something since he knew where she lived. I told her that he must be afraid to get caught and wouldn't dare.

"No, Mis T..., this is reale..Hewould not do this himself, he could hire some one to hurt me."

Just in case I didn't get it... I live in middle-class white America where if someone wants to f.... you sideways you hire a bigger dick called a lawyer! Not always an option in that other America.

The Next Installment

L. was here today at work. It seems that she and her union boss and her boss-boss were meeting on the third floor of the building. She was there for quite a while. She is pretty distraught, but she is now temporarily back at work.

I got more of the story. It appeared she had gone down to the garage to talk to her husband as he was flying out to El Salvador since his mother had a heart attack and passed on. He was trying to coordinate stuff. When the boss saw her, he waited until her husband left, and then approached her about not being on the job and that he would have to fire her. She responded that he could take 15 minutes off her salary as she had an emergency. His response was that he would ignore everything if she just joined him in his car! .. which of course, she refused.

She has no witnesses to all of this. Although she has been telling me for quite a while that this boss has been harassing her. I guess she is talking to a lawyer--maybe one provided by her union--but she needs a letter from someone else that states this guy is harassing her. There were no witnesses. What can she do? While he may have harassed other women (although there are few) on the job, they are not going to risk their minimum wage jobs by coming forward, I am sure.

This is the real world that I don't have to face each day.

The saga continues

Sent out an email to all of my colleagues at work today and 90% either wanted to sign a letter of recommendation or write their own for L. They are also collecting some money. Everyone was so shocked that she got fired...but it appears since she had the day shift, someone higher up had a relative that needed the day shift. I am watching the quality of cleaning VERY closely.

Spent my lunch hour surfing the Internet for cleaning jobs and cleaning companies that might have some benefits. I was supposed to give her the signed letters and info today, but she had to leave my house to pick up her son at school before I got home.

I will meet with her on Saturday. Right now her only employment is cleaning my house and the apartment of another person. I hope she finds some type of work with the holidays so close and the job market so poor, I have misgivings.

I have this friend....

I took a long weekend holiday this last week by taking Friday off after the Veterans Day holiday. So today was my first day back at work in a while.

We have this lovely gal from El Salvador who cleans the restrooms and all the offices on our floor. We got to be good friends as I help her with learning English (and she tried to help me with my Spanish) during the times she comes by my cubicle. She also became friends with many of the other people on the floor. After a few months she asked if I knew anyone who needed their house cleaned. I do! Since I have moved into this rental unit I am not nearly so motivated to keep it clean and my 25 year old son moving in pretty much put out any residue of anal retentive cleaning I had left. (I have yet to see the carpet in his room.) So, she has been cleaning my house on a regular basis for a number of months.

It is great for me and I think good for her.

Well, today, when she didn't come by, I asked our Secretary what was up with L. The Secretary then told me that she had been fired on Wednesday last! L. has had a lot of problems with the management of this cleaning firm over the months. The manager has been sexually insulting to her, they use her as a slave on holidays to clean the company owners huge house with no extra pay, etc. Our staff have gone to bat for her, making it clear that we felt she was excellent in her work. But now that my boss is out with surgery, they have gone in for the kill behind our back. I am just very, very sick about this. Her husband works construction as a temp and has no health insurance. Her 5-year-old son is hearing impaired and needs good health care and good educational support. She has a 16 year old daughter and mother back in El Salvador that she sends money to....This is just a nightmare.

I have to find her phone number (somewhere in my files) and call her. There must be something I can do to help....ugh.

I hate it when someone who is hard working, honest, and reliable as she is, gets this treatment. There are so many assholes out there who get away by doing no work. The secretary thinks they have probably replaced her with a relative that needed a job. I am sick, sick, sick about this.

Old Friends

I am sitting here today waiting for an old friend to join me for breakfast with her husband. She and hubby have been touring the U.S. from Colorado. They came out to N.C. to visit their daughter and son-in-law who are in school (at least the daughter is working on a Master's Degree in graphic arts.) They are on their way up the East Coast to tour some more of the U.S. before heading back home. Both are retired although they run a small art studio in Colorado.

I haven't seen this gal in about 10 years. We shared an apartment in Colorado Springs when I was in my first year of teaching right out of college. We taught at different schools, but this was our first real time on our own in a city far away from parents and making real money. We met another friend from somewhere in the South (a beautiful blonde with tremendous poise and charm as only Southern ladies have) and all three of us took snow skiing lessons together. We hung out together on Fridays at the local Mexican restaurant and bar and we had fun on the weekends. We took off one spring on a five day camping trip...just two girls. It was great.

Such fun days, and as I look back I see that I was so very young and naive. I was dating a smartass cadet from the Airforce Academy (actually told me how to dress when I met him at the Academy). He was a Senior and therefore could have a Mustang car which he really thought made him so hot. Too bad that I could never appreciate that type of thing! Anyway, after we drifted apart he dated and married my friends sister. They are still together, I think. I'll have to ask when she gets here.

The Other Side of the Looking Glass

I spend too much of my time worrying about my hair color. It is graying, but not in the striking Heloise or Cruella DeVil way. More in the way of dirty herringbone. So I dye it. I dye it myself until I am sick of the work and then I make an appointment to get a professional dye job.

I have been without a regular hairdresser since my favorite gal from Iran retired over two years ago. Therefore, I go from place to place looking for a home. In desperation yesterday, I went back to the high end salon my daughter chose for her wedding a few years back.

This is really high end--customers in tight jeans including those in their 60's---everyone with botox smiles., little four-year-olds dressed like Brittany Spears, etc. It is also expensive. I always feel like Cinderella's step sister in these places. I can barely afford them, and I feel like such a hypocrite when surrounded by all these dames that clearly relish in all this attention. I also feel like a hypocrite, because I know it should all be about getting old gracefully.

I decided to get the dye and highlight and cut. Came to over $200.00. I am so NOT worth that much for such a temporary fix in this aging process. But, I also hate not looking my best. Took three women and three hours and I do look much better. At least this will get me through an upcoming wedding and the holidays.

Here is a close-up...it appears to be a white feathery fungus...yuck.

This swan-like gourd was purchased for a fall centerpiece on my breakfast table. He/she has started growing feathers!

Small stuff

Slept in (8:00 is late for me since I usually get up a 5:00) on a late Saturday morning . Hubby is on travel in Japan and my son who lives with us and works the night shift got in late and is still sleeping.

What luxury to do what I want when I want! I did step aerobics for about 25 minutes and then some stretching. I should have done 30 minutes more but the spirit was not with me. Then I filled the tub with hot water and took a long luxurious bath with salts and creams and perfumes etc. Oooooo. Never thought when I was the mother of two toddlers that I would ever see these days again.

I have to drop off a gift of Godiva chocolates for my boss today. She is recuperating from cancer surgery and the prognosis looks very good, but she will not be back at work for weeks.

Noticed something funny as I was drying off in the bathroom. My husband left a sticky note on his mirror to run an errand when he returns. Good idea the note, but he started with his name "J.,...remember to" Why would you put your name on a note to yourself? He is one strange guy!

Just one day please, and make it frozen.

I was posting to another blog and trying to remember an anecdote from Andrew Tobias. I couldn't remember if I spelled his name correctly and decided to Google him and found his home page. Of course as we all do, I got distracted and started reading his archive.

He was talking about something called "AndyDay" as described below:

"But what I really would like is simply to have an eighth day in every week when you all were frozen. No newspapers, no magazines, no e-mail or junk mail or mail mail or phone calls—just a chance to catch up."

Gee one whole day when everyone was frozen except me. What would I do? What would I do? I don't think catching up would be on my agenda. OK, I am going to wipe this smile off my face and go make a cup of tea.

Isn't that special?

We were ever so polite to each other at work today. The winners and losers seemed to carry this 'best manners' behavior. Everyone was smiling (the Democrats had a vanilla smile and the Republicans had a slightly guilty smile as if they were sorry they had gently rear-ended you at the stop sign.) Maybe this bodes well for our country.

"Excuse me, but did you get my email yesterday...no rush, just asking." "Hey, can I help with that seminar on Friday? I have some free time" "Has anybody heard how L. survived her medical procedure?" "Is that screen saver your granddaughter? How cute!" All the same small talk, yet it seemed so scripted.

Well, he does get the chance now to clean up this mess. I keep getting this weird feeling he hoped that he would lose...I don't think he wants four more years. Really, I don't. Of course that feeling doesn't extend to the 'folks' who actually run this country.

Your privilege and your responsibility

The US of A is the greatest place on this earth. Please vote. Please offer someone a ride so they can vote.

Material girl

Over the past year I have become more and more aware of "U-Store" units. They are popping up everywhere--within 2 to 3 miles of each other. Is this a reflection of all those divorced people who don't want to give up their stuff when they lose their homes? Is this due to those homeless folks who still can afford a rental unit for the stuff that reflects their life? I know that some of this storage is for people with hobbies or equipment for their jobs. Maybe this is a reflection of how many young men and women are now overseas in the "war" and storing stuff till they return. I think most likely it reflects the fact that we have too too too much stuff in our lives and our lives are disrupted too often. My brother married a few years ago (for the first time in his 50's), and of course, he had a ton of stuff from his home and melded with her home they are now storing a home's worth of furniture. The problem is that the furniture is depreciating while the cost of storing it is not.

When we sold our house and moved into this rental, we used a u-store for a few months until we sold, gave away or threw away a lot of stuff. Then we cleaned out the rental garage and stored what didn't need climate control in the garage and then put the rest of the stuff in boxes in the basement. We are now moving into year two of our rental house and haven't even opened these boxes once.

I read a book called "Simplify Your Life" by Elaine St. James. It is one of those Hallmark type books that you read in the bathroom. One of the author's suggestions to begin uncluttering your life is to pack some items in a box that you haven't used in a long while. Label the box with the date. After a year, if you haven't been looking for anything or used anything in the box, throw it away! Don't open it, just toss it. It makes a lot of sense to me. (Actually why not auction it off?) The u-store manager told me that is what they do when people fall behind on their rent of the storage unit. He opens the door, lets people look at what is inside, andt hen takes bids.

When I move to this new house (if we can ever find a design we can afford) I hope to try to live more Zen. Open spaces, useful activities, and less catalog purchasing. Of course today it is more Internet purchasing, since you can buy ANYTHING you want over the net.

I'm back...yawn...

Got in at 6:30 this morning on the red eye. Boarded last night at 11:00 PM and since the flight was a little over 4 hours, I was a zombie at the airport trying to find my car. Sun wasn't up yet here on the East coast. I had a late dinner on the waterfront last night with colleagues and probably drank a little too much wine.

Weather in Seattle was very similar to here actually. Nice and sunny there with a little rain, but the nights were much colder there. It was below 40 in the morning and we were in the 50's here before the sun showed its head.

About 30 people attended the meeting, all with professional and good things to say about the whole program. I would love to see those who are prejudiced against government bureaucrats attend just one of these meetings to see how professional and intelligent government workers actually are! These people are passionate about their research and their programs, but they are also realistic and many are quite inventive in stretching budgets. But, realism also takes us to the place where we fully understand this program is going to end with a whimper if we have to face another year of cuts. I don't want to get into too much detail...but I do feel American citizens will regret not funding this type of program in the future---as they will find with all the cuts in sciences we are getting. Research and education money creates a citizenry that can think outside the box when it comes to conflict. (Sort of the opposite side of the brain from the Ann Coulter baseball bat thinking.)

Toured the Pike Market on the waterfront and saw the space needle. It was my first time there. The flower stalls were wonderful and cheap and the 'tossing of the fish' was fun and very New York I thought. Saw the first Starbucks--but it only had one small sign to let you know. Bought a glass turtle to add to my collection and went in to some of the more 'interesting' stores with a friend who is a little edgier than I am.

Off to Seattle

I am catching a 7:30 AM flight to Seattle tomorrow. I have grown tired of business travel and am glad that I do it only a few times a year these days. This meeting is to introduce new people to my program and to justify my existence.

Our program funding is being cut and I may be doing something different in a year or so. I am lucky in that I have a federal job...so it doesn't involve loss of income...just loss of pride.

I get so tired of energizing an audience!

"A place to pray and meditate and to experience peace of mind as well as of body."

Took this picture in front of El Santuario de Chimayo, the Lourdes of America which is north of Sante Fe NM. Never found any woodcarved popsicles inside... I did buy a rusted tin cross which was made from the roof of the older chapel. Never one to short change my chances in this cosmic world.

Back home

Wedding was low key and intimate. Bride and groom exchanged heartfelt personal vows. Everyone cried...made some of the old timers remember why they got married!

New Mexico is a hotbed of political activity due to its support for both Presidential candidates. I hestitated watching any television because the political ads were so scathing and irritating--on both sides. Everyone I talked to in N.M. was sick of the whole thing.

Had breakfast at a local Starbucks and John Kerry's sister Peggy Kerry was next to us. Chatted with her for a brief time. She looked upbeat but also tired. She was on crutches due to a fall and damaged knee the week before.

Took a tour of a Native American village and our guide said that Hillary Clinton had been there just a few days before and ended up donating $75,000 to their cultural center building. These politicos are EVERYWHERE. I am guessing that we are NOT going to know who won on November 3rd.

Going to a Wedding

We are flying out at 6:00 this evening and heading West to attend my (step) nephew's wedding. We have never met him, although we have met his younger brother and we were lucky enough to meet up with his lovely bride-to-be in Italy a few years ago. We spent a few days touring with her. She is one of those generous spirits with a community service drive. This spirit shows in her smile.

I will get to see all my brothers and sisters again, but it will be somewhat rushed as they are leaving the day after the wedding. Last time it was rushed because they were remodeling the bathroom to my parents' house. I wonder when our lives will ever slow down to just visit! They all live within 30-40 minutes of each other so get together for holidays, long weekends, etc. I am still the black sheep living so far away. I am also the oldest so I have that "leader" image to live down. I mean when some are in diapers and you are 13, of course you are going to be telling them what to do! (Do I sound wistful?) Actually, I think they were relieved when I took over at my sister funeral.

I get back for just a few days at work on Wednesday and then the following Monday I have a business trip to Seattle. I really find myself wanting to just be a homebody more and more these days. Looking forward to part-time work in a year or so as I wind down to retirement. There is a whole creative side to my life that I have had to put on the shelf. I feel the 'me' time is coming soon.

Happy scary Halloween! I have always enjoyed Halloween, making the costumes, scaring the kids and eating all the candy they don't eat. I haven't even started to decorate the house and I am gone all weekend at a wedding. Maybe next week. I still need to buy candy! The picture above was a lovely old barn I took on a hike on Sunday. I tweaked with the software and it looks spooky, no?

Do I still live in America?

My husband was listening to NPR this morning as we are getting a late start on our day. He said there was a news report about President Bush's crew screening high school students (at their own school!) who came to hear him talk. Those who had Kerry buttons, etc. were turned away...some in tears. I haven't been able to find this on the NPR site...but will keep looking.