This post is to clarify these events based on what has followed, and see that I have had good times as well as stressful ones.
My daughter said after her second child (of eventually three) was born that she wanted to celebrate Christmas at her house so that she could start her own traditions. I think she has done this most Christmases and we drive up there for the day (or sometimes the night before) to enjoy the day with them. Sometimes the other set of parents joins us.
She as well as my son and his wife usually try to alternate TG between us and their respective in-laws. Below is our Hawaii Thanksgiving a few years ago, which was certainly special.
Unfortunately, as the years have passed, we have been lax in trying to find who was doing what and slower in inviting them down here. My daughter, as I have written before, leads an EXTREMELY busy life with her job and three children and I have reduced my efforts to fit into such a hectic schedule.
ANYWAY, my Son-in Law's mother, Lili (not her name), called me on Sunday to talk about our roles in this crazy scenario. It was too late for me to answer as my entire weekend had been filled with a painter working on two bathrooms and the ceiling to the master bedroom. Stuff was moved everywhere and while he did an excellent job of clean-up and moving furniture back in place, I still had lots of things to move into the bathrooms and from the hallway. So I called her back the next morning.
First, let me say that Lili is a delightful person. She is the kind of person that would literally give her purse to you if you were in need. She is generous to her two sons but admitted that both of them drop the ball on trying to get schedule details worked out with their parents. An additional challenge for her is that her husband has a type of disease that is related to Parkinson's and while he can still drive she knows that the days are getting fewer for driving in traffic. So she asked her son if perhaps they could just drive down the day before TG, spend the end of the week (including TG) watching the Grands, and then drive up the Sunday for the long trip back to their house.
Her son said that the children were really looking forward to spending TG with their cousins! So, she sighed, then came up with a new plan. (I will not go into the details of sacrifices she making for this 'new' plan.) She will meet us at the Grand's house the day before TG (we will not have to drive up and exchange them). Then they will rest that night and drive back home on Thanksgiving day! Which should be less traffic(?) plus give them time to rest up from the almost 4-hour drive the day before. They would make it to her other son's house late in the afternoon on TG. We would leave that morning before TG to head to our house.
I was amenable to whatever worked for her. I would have said let us do TG at the kids' house, but she had said that her son wanted the kids to be together with their cousins up North. (Remember, he and my daughter will be on the other side of the world that week.)
It takes the pressure off of us somewhat. We return home earlier the day before TG. Now I just have to get my daughter-in-law and son to let me know if they have decided how they want to do TG...with us and her parents at her house...or with us and her parents at our house...or maybe her parents do not want to drive the five-hour drive from their house at all!! They live way "up north" as well.
Whatever happens, I am for ordering a complete TG dinner from one of the stores!! The food is good and there are always leftovers and it allows any foodie to bring their favorite dish. Yes, it costs a little more. I just have to know for how many...2 or 4 or 6??
Tomorrow I am getting my old noisy fridge replaced and so everything gets emptied early tomorrow morning to be ready for delivery. Then, this weekend I am off to Rochester University to attend a college preview with my oldest grandson and his mother. They have a good Technical college that has him interested. We will leave Friday and be back late Sunday. I guess I just need to cram more stuff into my life.
That's a much better solution than putting it all on you. Really, it is/was their responsibility to get the grandkids if that's what they and their son wanted. And i', all for ordering a TG meal rather than cooking it. We did that several years when our kids were young. So much easier.
ReplyDeleteGood news that TG is all sorted out.
ReplyDeletePrayers the weather cooperates
Safe Traveling
Always more. LOL My eldest daughter told us that she will be coming here on thanksgiving and bringing the food. The next day Comic Con begins, and no I am not going but the granddaughter and George are. I'm glad we finally have a dining room table.
ReplyDeleteBlogging...I know you find it boring, but you can just post one of the wonderful pictures that you put on Facebook here too. It will keep us coming back.
I decided this year to order an entire TG dinner from a local store, which makes me very happy! I think it's a perfect way to spend the holiday and not get stressed out. Safe travels to you and yours, Tabor!
ReplyDeleteI still would have had to diagram that. lol
ReplyDeleteBut I am intrigued families juggling holidays. I can picture that without a diagram.
🤣
That was a little hard to follow but I think I get it. I hope however you work it out, you are happy. That should be the goal for TG, being content and grateful.
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving has become small and calm here nowadays. My daughter and her kids go to Colorado to the other grands. My son doesn't want to drive far on TG because he drives all over during the week. We no longer want to fight traffic to go to my sister's house. My SIL either goes to California to her other brother or comes to us. So this year the four of us will have turkey dinner at my house, which is what we have been reduced to. I actually like cooking turkey dinner. Much prep is done the day before and the food is not that complicated. And the left overs are great. Everybody gets one dinner to take home.
If you are all happy with it, that's all that's needed. Nothing is ever everything.
ReplyDeleteI do hope all works out and can see how the scheduling gets complicated — not as easy to adjust to when aging issues enter the picture I think. I had to give up on family gatherings many years ago when we moved clear across country. Subsequent years have ebbed and flowed with some of us getting together for some holidays, and others for other ones, or even all of us on our own. We’ve depended on virtual get togethers sometimes long before the pandemic. Recent years I’ve been alone holidays — that’s just the way it is.
ReplyDeleteIt does get crazy and complicated, so i hope everything works well for everyone.
ReplyDeleteWorking out the holidays with family is a job. While we have one child only, as a nurse, her schedule varies year to year. She’s working this Christmas, so our Christmas will be over New Year. Whatever works is fine with us too.
ReplyDeleteI hope everything goes smoothly.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Wow! That was really complicated. I sure hope it all turns out well. It will just be the three of us this Thanksgiving because with a 92 year old mom, we didn't want to take the chance having the entire family here. Fingers crossed that next year will be back to normal. I'm trying not to be pessimistic.
ReplyDelete"Where there is a will, there is a way."
ReplyDeleteI'm glad plans seem to be working out better for your family get-togethers this coming holiday. My children live far enough away -- half-way across our continent for one family, and all the way to the opposite coast from me for the other -- plus my now adult granddaughter working and needing to meet study requirements for her pharmaceutical doctorate have long since precluded our even trying to get together. I don't want them flying and I don't want to fly during this pandemic. Flying has also long since been considerably less comfortable than it used to be (especially for me), so, we've capitalized on virtual celebrations beginning before the pandemic.
ReplyDeleteA friend here who has a large, and even larger extended family who all live in SoCal has had to finally relinquish keeping the family get-togethers on the various holidays tradition once all in her older generation died. Others of my friend's generation are less committed to making some of the sacrifices involved now that parents are no longer living to chastise them for being neglectful. The even younger generations, like my friend's children and theirs, could care even less about the tradition, so everything seems to have fallen apart. As my friends, younger than me, age, and begin to need the younger ones to step up to assume some of the responsibilities as my friends had done with their parents, the youthful generation simply lacks the interest and motivation to do so. Indeed, the times they are a-changin' for many it seems.
If all of you manage to get-together, enjoy, and be glad you were able to work out the logistics as it may not get any easier in each coming year if my friends experience is any indication of the arising with aging complications.