 |
| Today's Sunrise |
No new news on Alice (see prior post), I am sad to say The children have a blog which gets updated every few days, and we all are desperate for some conclusion to this tragedy. Flyers have gone up everywhere, churches contacted (including the one she attended infrequently), and interviews at a nursing home where she used to volunteer and was fond of one of the male "inmates."
If she had found a friend to take her out of state the medical care needed would alert the network. Besides, what kind of friend would put her family through this awfulness? Perhaps she is dead and lying somewhere waiting to be found in the spring. Snow cover is gone and birds are singing and today it will reach the low 50s again. The concern is only for the living after a while.
My husband has been having very slight memory problems for a few years, as have I. But our concern is on his side since his mother did have senility as she reached her final years. She kept going back in time and only remembered things in her 30's near the end. She thought he was her brother and did not remember marrying and having a son. She did know what irons, phones etc. were for. So, we worry when he forgets stuff. It is natural, I guess. We study 'what' he forgets and while mine is long term memory loss his is more short term. I think it has more to do with a lack of focus on his part. He gets distracted. I play games on the computer, take online courses, do volunteer work (my math tutoring alone has stretched my brain).
Our (his) lives are still pretty dynamic. He is flying to the South Pacific to do some SCUBA diving on a project in April. He swims a good mile several times a week. He still has his good humor while I am the more difficult one.
We are all Alice in some way and want to protect those we love from any burdens we inflict without our control. My parents seemed to have had very sharp minds up until the very end as did my husband's father. It is a bit of a gamble no matter how hard we work at keeping our senses.
Alice, please help us find you.
Poor Alice. Poor family. My dad suffered from late life dementia. It scares me. I find it difficult to retrieve names and words when I want them although they do come back in time.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I lose a word or can't find something I just had in my hand, I worry. I am worrying more these days.
ReplyDeleteI was always kind of distracted and inattentive and had memory problems so I don't know if anyone will notice if I start to experience dementia. My mom had dementia but her physical health was excellent. My mother-in-law had a mind as sharp as a tack but suffered all kinds of physical debilitations. Hard to say which is preferable. Neither, I susect.
ReplyDeleteOh my! Poor dear and her poor family. If these are the golden years...
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad story of Marissa and her mother. And what a mystery. I can't imagine where she could have gone.
ReplyDeleteI do worry now about my husband. He's fine now, but I think his thought processes are scattered sometimes, and his father and uncle had dementia in their later years.
Our retired life over the past few years has been wonderful. I told him the other day that my worry is that this is the honeymoon period.
I fear you are right, "the concern is only for the living after a while". The "guilt" will be a heavy burden for her survivors.
ReplyDeleteWhat to do with aging parents and loved ones is a great concern. As we baby boomers age, the problems are multiplied by our great numbers. Dementia is in my family, but so are deafness, macular degeneration and loss of mobility. I think about it, of course, and then I move on.
How are his vitamin levels? Every time I have gone to the doctor's office lately, I've been saying that I'm fuzzy, that I'm forgetting more and more. The doc ran more than the usual blood tests this last time, and it appears I'm very low in two vitamines. I don't feel half as fuzzy now that I am taking them. You can call me, "Forget's-less." :)
ReplyDeleteBTW: I'm keeping Alice in my thoughts. You both too.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping for a positive outcome for Alice, but the longer time passes, the less likely it will be. Thank you for keeping me and my thoughts in mind.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, I was hoping for good news of Alice. Truly sad.
ReplyDeleteIt still isn't too late for a happy outcome for Alice. I keep hoping.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad, and yet in some ways i don't blame Alice. If i knew i would be a burden perhaps i'd prefer to be "set adrift on an iceberg" as the saying goes, or set myself that way to spare the family.
ReplyDeleteSince my husband was medically poisoned last year he has gone downhill rapidly. His short term memory is very limited although he too can remember the past fairly clearly. I am the brains in this outfit now but I have to remember so much that I am afraid of forgetting things too.
ReplyDeleteThere is no dementia on either side of our families but age and illness bring similar problems anyway, to all of us. The best thing is to keep active, mentally and physically.
I hope the Alice story has a good outcome, whatever it is.
I am so hopeful that this sad story will have a happy ending soon. Maybe she is lost and will be found alive.
ReplyDeletethis modern living...we can keep the body going long past the time the mind is capable of keeping up. and I'm not so sure that the keeping the body going is not what loses the mind. I find that my loss of memory is mostly of things in the past. my husband remembers things in the past of our lives together that I do not. sometimes I can dredge them up. I just try to stay active and eat as healthily as I can.
ReplyDeleteDear Difficult one....and to add a post script, today is our wedding anniversary. After reading Kay's post, I think I will go get him some flowers. :)
ReplyDeleteI think that's why Alice affects us so much, b/c there but for the grace of god ... I sure hope that she's found, and that she's okay.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for her. Aging comes with all kinds of problems but dementia/alzheimer is so frightening. After a week, I just don't know. My prayers for Alice and the family.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad thing. I hope it all gets resolved soon.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me think of that movie Still Alice, which really had an effect on me. Too close to home. Also Away from Her was good. I changed that last two stanzas of the poem I had posted today. It was written yesterday while in the anxiety of prepping for my first colonoscopy. I wasn't happy with the ending but was gone all day today at the procedure and didn't have time to think about it. I'm on the other side now!
ReplyDeleteThis post and the previous - packed with sadness, worry, and reality. Blessings to you and your family, and Alice and hers.
ReplyDeleteSorry to read Alice hasn't been found yet. Keeping our minds is certainly what we all want, I think. Especially for those of us living alone the Internet can be a real boon I've concluded. Since no one to talk with I turn to computer search and may try Siri, too, I suppose. Using one of the memory techniques I've provided others in therapy has been to think of, or talk around any related information associated with the word (often a naming word), or other event/topic and can type into Search. Generally, I receive the word or answer I need, or it voluntarily pops into my mind. Don't strain, fret and stew in the retrieval process, relax, more likely to come to you or maybe pop in later. Memory aids using other senses helpful i.e. writing, photos, etc. -- experiment finding what works best for each of us.
ReplyDeleteI hope Alice is found soon, and you are right..after a good while...it is the ones left behind that need prayers. I, too, am noticing memory loss. Mostly yet, it is walking in a room and forgetting why..or cleaning out the litter box..taking it to the trash, and hours later, walking back in that room and realizing I forgot to put the lid back on. Nothing major, but an annoyance, nonetheless. Enjoyed your post, and I will am your newest follower.
ReplyDeleteWhat a heartbreak to lose a loved one to the unknown world that surrounded her life. May her whereabouts be known soon -- barbara
ReplyDeleteGosh - that's a beautiful sunset. As with you and your husband, we try to keep active and involved. Of course, we forget - not big things, but I'll sometimes head for the pantry, stop, and think, "Now what was I coming here for?" Also, our hearing is not what it used to be. (That is a good excuse for Bob not to listen to what I have to say!) Both of us have made our wishes known to our children if we should sink into dementia or severe alzheimer's. We don't want our kids to be burdened with our care.
ReplyDeleteThis could well be the story of my uncle who wandered off and was missing for days. Extreme heat, not the cold, was the worry in his case. His physical state was a greater worry than the dementia by the time he was found. Even after that experience he caused his family a lot of grief before being committed to a secure nursing unit. I do hope Alice is found, for her family's sake. As for myself, failing memory, galloping deafness, my body a crumbly ruin - I think old age is a crock.
ReplyDelete