Monday, March 29, 2010

Pat---Characters #1

Our country neighborhood recently got a new restaurant...an Olive Garden.  Now if you live in the city you are thinking...yeah, big deal?  But out here where every restaurant is fast food or fried something, this chain ups the bar on interesting food.  The place is huge and had been opened about three weeks already.  Last week we decided to stop by and eat (on a Friday night) and when we got there the parking lot was filled.  The lobby was full of patiently waiting people and the host told us there was an 80 to 95 minute wait!  We did not want to spend that much time waiting for our dinner and went somewhere else.


OK.  So on a Wednesday two weeks later, and over a month after it had been opened in this very rural area, we decided to try again.  This time there was only a 30 to 40 minute wait!  Geesh.  Someone has a gold mine here!  We went to the bar and actually ended up ordering dinner there.  I don't usually like eating at a bar but the atmosphere was cozy, the bar staff were wonderful and very charming and the food was delish and arrived much sooner than it would have otherwise.


While sipping my wine and waiting for our salad there was a young person sitting at the end stool next to me.  I turned and smiled at him/her.  Perhaps you are wondering what I am getting at here.  If you ever saw Saturday Night Live and saw Julia Sweeney's terrific rendition of the character 'Pat' you will understand what I am talking about.  Pat was a sexually vague character and each skit was a set-up where someone tried to figure out if he/she was a man or a woman.  Sweeney is perhaps one of the most underrated comedians and played this character memorably.


Well, this person looked like a 19 (could have even passed for 16) year-old.  He/She, whom I will now call Pat was drinking a coke and waiting for his/her takeout.  Pat was so much nicer looking (handsome, pretty) than TV Pat.  Dressed in a T-shirt and slacks and wearing a baseball cap with a man's haircut that covered orange-died curls in the front, made it impossible for me to resist making small talk.  


I learned that 'Pat' was 29!  I commented that while he/she probably did not like looking so young, they would welcome this in later years.  'Pat's' voice did not provide a clue as to the sex.  'Pat' was very nice and I found out that he/she did technical/mechanical work on the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter for the Navy!  Pat loved this work and had been shipped all over the world at times because of his/her exceptional skills.


Pat had served in the military in Iraq and liked it there but now worked for a contractor and was able to die 'their' hair orange just to drive the old command officer nuts.  I also learned that 'Pat' had an estranged relationship with his/her father who had left when he/she was only four and hated that the father now knew where he/she was living because of a regular security check that the contractor has to run every time there was a promotion.  (I obviously have a trusting face as we had an intimate conversation on all this while Pat waited for take-out and I waited for breadsticks.)


Pat made a very good salary because of his/her skills and told me that he/she owned a town home and 4 vehicles but was unhappy to be living so far from the maddening crowd of the city.  Pat was a really interesting person with a great sense of humor and made me confident that our defense pilots were in good hands and I thanked Pat for his/her service to this great country.


And, of course, just in case, I did not ask and Pat did not tell about... whatever.

20 comments:

  1. So much for "inquiring minds". I would have had to know somehow. Loved the "Pat" character on SNL! My next goal is to spot an interesting character and blog about him/her:)

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  2. Hey! We had to eat at the bar in Olive Garden too!! And this place has been here for several years and is still packed regularly. And we where there at 4:30!!!
    I too loved the Pat character...she played it so well!! Glad you enjoyed your conversation with your own "Pat". What a delightful person!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  3. Here I thought I was merely going to get a restaurant review, but no!

    I am trying to think of a perfectly normal question that would clear up "Pat's" ambiguity, but the only thing coming to mind were those kinds of conversations in snl skits. They never worked!

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  4. Oh this is a wonderful story. I've had this kind of thing happen before and it drives me nuts. I don't actually care about their gender, it just makes it so much easier to carry on a conversation if I know male or female. I don't want to have to think of people as transgender, straight, homosexual, bisexual, etc. Just give me a clue how you prefer to be identified and I can go with it.

    I'm not out to "out" anyone, it just drives mw mad not knowing what I'm talking to. By the way, I support the repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell."

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  5. I love the Olive Garden and ours is always packed.

    I can't think of a polite way to find out the gender of the person I am talking to. If they dress like a woman I greet them as one. Vice Versa for a man's attire. But with unisex dressing, it's hard to tell so I just use generic names.

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  6. It is said that the first thing we humans want to know about a baby is boy or girl. There is a kind of discomfort in not knowing that basic feature of a person. It even extends to dogs and cats. There's a fundamental need to know the sex. Why?

    I always stuck my nose up at the Olive Garden. I'll give it another think. I shouldn't be such a food snob.

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  7. Umphf! The more I read, the more I wanted to know. :)
    Perhaps you'll run into "Pat" again at the Olive Garden. Hope you'll be able to get seated at a table without a long wait.

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  8. Blimey, you found out all this but not if 'they' were male or female.
    I'd have asked for references!

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  9. Pat seems like a hardworking and complex human being. You seem like a wise, wise person telling all of us that it doesn't really matter: Olive Garden or Not, Boy or Girl or Not. Don't Ask Don't Tell. Or Not. Not.

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  10. That was so well written it was a joy, Tabor.

    And now, of course, you have all of blogdom wondering.

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  11. Welcome to the big city corner resturant. Even our little part of the world has one. We love the soup and salad dinners.....unlimited of both. Ours isn't packed at 4 when we eat. :)

    How nice a chat with your Pat. I bet you get a chance to chat again.

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  12. Did you have salad at Olive Garden? I think they have good dressing! But mr.k won't eat there; he says it is fake Italian.

    I saw my "own" Pat last week at dinner - wrote about him/her yesterday.

    I loved those skits on SNL.

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  13. Never been to an Olive Garden (we're too rural - the nearest one is an hour away) and haven't met Pat yet that I know of. I feel like I'm living under a rock...

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  14. It must be something about us that encourages others to tell us their story. Possibly it's the ability to really listen or ask the right questions. Either way I love your outlook on life.

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  15. I remember one day working in my clothing shop at a Renaissance Faire. By 11am I was wondering why I was suddenly so curious about people's sexual orientation. It was then that I found out it was "Gay Pride" day. Thousands of people in the park, many of them sexually ambiguous to say the least! While waiting on people, I gave up trying to use the "proper" pronoun.

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  16. You cracked me up! I feel like I know Pat now.

    The Olive Garden came to Christiansburg (our sort of nearby bigger city) a few years ago and I was thrilled. Ate their once and it was so packed and noisy that I never went back. Now we have Mickey G's the even more real thing.

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  17. Yes, mam, we have all those great things in the cupboards just waiting for Thursday. Even peanut butter. :)

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  18. Tabor, I do so love a good conversation with a stranger, and thoroughly enjoyed reading yours. I'm like you, people just happily talk to me. I think it is because I'm genuinely interested.

    I think we've all had that sort of "Hmm. You're sort of gender neutral." reaction to people, and usually the name helps a great deal more than that! Let's face it, even the name Pat can be Patrick or Patricia.

    I particularly loved that he or she dyes his or her hair a vivid color to tease the former commanding officer.

    Also, yes, evidently the road to wealth is to open a chain restaurant in an area where there are hardly any, or a suburb. They are always jam packed, world without end, Amen!

    Also, there's something comforting about nice, reliable food. I'm a sucker for their seafood portifino, but as I'm not fond of crowds, we always pick up the food to go.

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  19. Hi Tabor,
    Thank you for the identification of the birds. Gisela, like you, also identify them as grackles.

    I hope you has been a great and nice travel.
    See you soon.

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  20. It's funny but from the moment I saw the post title, my mind immediately went to the Pat character in SNL. Enjoyable post, Tabor. I like these snippets of conversation which can reveal so much about a person, yet not the gender. Go figure. I miss Olive Garden. There used to be one nearby but it closed years ago. I still miss their yummy salad and pastas.

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