The sun is getting cooler every day, you know? I mean, over the long term, it is burning out. The spin of the earth is slowing down by about one second every ten years as well. So much for the old phrase, "Stop the world, I want to get off." Perhaps someday it will stop and you will fall off. There are times when I get overwhelmed by the fact that everything is evolving slowly but dramatically over time. The history that I know is very different from the history that my grandchildren will know. The picture that I paint is coded with time. I now realize that I have actually lived through history.I hate the passage of time when I think how I am away from my son and my youngest brother, both very different in age and activities but similar in some ways. I know that you must love someone with open arms so that they can fly free. You must let them go but leave your arms open so that you can catch them if they fall. Both my youngest brother and my son need to be free. They fill their days with the busyness of living. I will always be here with my arms open, but the earth is spinning so fast that I can barely see them at times and I know they are not looking for me. They are staring at another planet.
Today I feel much smaller than that grain of sand because after I disappear, it will still be here.
I don't know the story behind your estrangement but I do know when a hug is needed. Please consider this a verbal embrace.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're feeling blue. I hope you find comfort in those same beautiful surroundings which you photograph with such wonder. And keep those arms open... things have a way of working out when you least expect them.
Your open heart & arms will be there always, and they know it. That's what gives them wings. Time may not be on your side, but love is and it's timeless...
ReplyDeleteYears ago I wrote in one of my journals that I gave my children "roots and wings". They are finding their way - but they know I am always here with open arms. Just like you Tabor. The wings make it lonely for us - at times.
ReplyDeleteWe too wish that your children stayed closer to the nest so we could see them more frequently. As we get older, the longing for that gets stronger.
ReplyDeleteNot to be sexist about it, but being a guy I have some insight into male insensitivity.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a young man (and even a middle aged man) I gave my mother no thought at all (well except for her birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day. My life was so interesting and involving it never occurred to me that she need to see more of me. It never occurred to me that she needed me. I just assumed she was getting on with her interesting life, just as I was getting along with mine.
But eventually even the dimmest of us (of me) learn a little about human nature and learn, not only how much our mothers need us, but how much we need them.
Of course a good wife can h
...elp the learning process along.
ReplyDelete(The keyboarding process will take a little longer.)
It's hard to let go; especially if the loved one moves far away. I have had to do it, but they all know I will always be here for them as long as I am alive.
ReplyDeleteFor me, the hardest part of loving is letting go. And the most beautiful part of letting go is the free space in our hearts that may be the home of other beautiful things in the world.
ReplyDelete*Hugs Mommy Tabor!*
That picture took my breath away!
ReplyDeleteSend him that book called "Love you Forever" by Robert Munsch.
Tabor, I can feel and understand well what you wrote here...
ReplyDeleteI send to you an embrace.
PS: Many friends, like you, told me that the flower of my current post is an Amarillys, not a Daylily. So I changed and updated my post. Thanks.
I love Barry's insight. He is very wise.
ReplyDeleteEveryone left you such wonderful and loving comments. I don't think I have anything to add, except that I hope your spirits are lifted.
:-)
ReplyDeleteYes, smaller than a grain of sand, Tabor, but I think you are bigger than most people I have come across in my life.
ReplyDeleteWith sincere appreciation I understand your feelings as I've been there too. You couldn't have expressed them better, but then you are the "word-woman," always insightful, always enlightening and always leaving me amazed by whatever it was you said.
I am so happy to have gotten to know you, and if you can get through such a thing, perhaps so can I.
A poignant, touching post. May your brother and son each come to realize what they are missing and return to your open arms.
ReplyDeleteWhile I really appreciated what Barry said, my experience has been that what he said is true of all children, not just sons.
Now that my parents are long gone, I appreciate them so much more, because I understand them better, because I am now THEM!