There is clearly not enough joy shown by me in my life and the older I get the less it rears its orange head.
There are common places to find joy...other's joy...dogs, grandchildren, newlyweds, rock stars. Once self-consciousness and self-awareness begin to grow as we become teenagers and young adults, it seems that the joy level in many people gets buried under what looks right and what feels normal and what we know is acceptable. Or it manifests itself as dorkiness.
Sure, there are lots of cool souls that keep their joy levels erupting at regular intervals and feeding energy into the atmosphere for the rest of us. I remember years ago going to a country western bar at Disney World, and as the band started playing, this 70-something lady in a country western skirt and shirt began clapping her hands high over her head as she stood in front of the band and let the music fill her soul. She was singing out and having the best time of her life and would have been acting this way even if no one else was in the room. I am guessing that she would not need a country western band to let her joy show. She is the kind of person that probably shows joy in a perfect morning breeze! You know, the person who throws their head back and grins at the sky as they walk.
Several of "my" bloggers are the joy-filled type. I could get a whole new perspective if I hung out with them. They savor the minutes and give thanks through passionate release of joy each day.
I will give you a full-faced smile, but that is the extent of my dorkiness release. I am married to someone who has no problem dancing in the streets at a moments notice. He can get excited like a puppy dog at bait fish jumping or a lovely sunset. He is that balding wild guy at the wedding that has a ton of fun without a sip of alcohol. And,yes, the joyful energy is magnetic.
Hey, I can show happiness...but joy(?), I have always been too auto-pilot self-conscious. I guess I have to work on that before turn into an old fart.
Tabor, you bless my heart with your sharing. I am a lot like you.
ReplyDeleteMy late husband a lot like yours.
I have found that as time goes by I feel more free in expressing myself. But still not to the extent of the older woman you described.
When I am alone I can laugh out loud, dance and I act silly with my two little granddaughters. Would not in a crowd or with people I do not know.
I am a one on one person and freedom of expressions flows more easily with one.
I have been told that I seem joyful and cheerful. But I am more private.
I guess my Joy comes mostly through Thankfulness. We have so much to be thankful for.
I think that self consciousness is an impediment to expressing joy. At least it is for me. I could never stand on a stage and belt out a tune in front of a crowd. If I were by myself I would do it, sure, but is that joy? I don't know. I feel joy when I get unexpected good news and I express it in the way I always have. I go to the piano and play a heppy tune.
ReplyDeleteI am much too self-conscious to express the joy that I feel. My spouse, however, is extremely open and expresses his joy. (Regrettably he also expresses his anger. His emotions are out there.)
ReplyDeleteHis daughter and his grandchildren are equally joyful. You must be on guard to go in public with them because they are totally unrestrained.
Because I was the "preacher's daughter" it was always important to worry about what other people might think. I can't shake that and I passed a lot of it to my own children. I am no longer in the corporate world and as backwoods chicken farmer I should be able to let it all hang out. Tomorrow I'm going to give it a try if you will too:-) Let's try not to become old farts, okay Tabor?
Tabor, now that you're retired maybe the auto pilot will switch to manual. Your hubby will show you the way. Joy is never dorky if it's real. My Dave gets so excited over new blooms and jumping fish. Now I do too, when I never had before. It takes time!
ReplyDeleteOld fart? NOT!
That's a little early in the A. and M. for me. But good on your husband.
ReplyDeletelol - you are too cute, tabor, with your "old fart" comment. i am having a birthday soon and one of the cards i got said "now we are both old farts!" interesting to hear the same phrase twice within 24 hours.
ReplyDeletewell, it sounds like you are on the right track. identifying that you want to be more spontaneous and open in expressing your joy is the fastest way to get there. consciousness is the only way we make change. i show my joy and anger pretty openly and easily, but if i were in a less fat body which moved more comfortably i would definitely show my joy in less restrictive ways. "being anchored down by weight" keeps me tied to the ground too much when my spirit might enjoy flying through the clouds!
Mmm tabor...this one's for keeps. Thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteI can let my joy flow when I am comfortable with someone. However, most of the joy is entertained in my heart and does not overflow to the outside world. It is mostly seen by my grandchildren, and the dog...she gives me funny looks, so after a moment I stop.
ReplyDeleteWhat really gets to me is all these over 50 women on Oprah and such claiming they are now having the best sex of their lives and I'm thinking, 'they must have had some pretty bad sex before this.'
ReplyDeleteDoes that make sense?
I'll be joining your husband on the dance floor at the wedding but I'm also pretty realistic.