I have been mulling...and like a spiced wine, I am just a little bitter. I think I am attracted more to uniqueness because when I got old I realized (or at least THOUGHT) I would never again have any kind of power. Why try to pursue power and strength? It sounds like a race or a battle and I am not in any nature for that.
The older people I know who have power are pretty demanding and even manipulative. Many use guilt to hang on to this power. Therefore, I am being very female and attracted to 'uniqueness.' Uniqueness means I am closer to being the real me. The inner me, that maybe I don't even know.
My goal in the immediate (and perhaps distant) future is to find and nurture what is unique about me. This is going to be much harder than obtaining power! I don't even know where to begin. There must be some process. Making a list? Making a wish list? Meditating? Going on a fast? How DOES one find one's uniqueness to nourish?
You are right about older people who have power using guilt to get it. I have a dear friend who uses the power of her money to guilt her kids into sticking around. It is so very sad to me.
ReplyDeleteHow do you find your uniqueness? Try lots of things and something will stick....then others will notice what is unique or special about you. I think having something special that people can point to about you is almost better than being unique. You have to go really far to be unique - one of a kind - so I'd concentrate at being special.
I think real power comes from being our true selves and owning what is unique in us. I'm talking about self-empowerment rather than power over. Self-empowerment draws others not out of fear but out of attraction.
ReplyDeleteGolly, I know it's in there somewhere. Otherwise we'd all be clones. Or maybe chimps.
ReplyDeleteLets go further,Tabor, beyond uniqueness; I reckon that we should actively cultivate eccentricity, which I suppose is just an extreme version of the same thing. Anyway, it could very effectively be done in the spirit of this rather too often-quoted manifesto:
ReplyDeleteWARNING
By Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple
Ah, yes. I think this is the method. I just need a purple dress to start.
ReplyDeleteI think many, um, more senior members of my family would do well to read this entry and learn. They won't alas, as opening their minds isn't part of their reality. Pity them.
ReplyDeleteYour last question is a good one. And a toughie. In my case, I discovered my uniqueness by playing around with the tools until it started to feel like I was getting somewhere. Ergo, the gift of writing....discovered by messing around with a pen, free-writing things until I began to like what I saw. The gift of photography...admittedly a little more expensive because I had to buy a camera and pay for film and processing, but still much the same approach: pick it up, use it and stumble through some hard-learned lessons.
Eventually it all just stuck.