The Fly on the Wall at Lunch With My Daughter

Subtitle: Why I am dressing as a ghoul for Halloween.

Me:  I saw those photos that you posted on FB.  With those women.  What were you celebrating?

Daughter:  It was sort of a bachelorette party for J.  She is getting married.

Me: Who is J?  Do I know her?

Daughter:  Remember she lives across the street?

Me:  The woman with a 7-year-old son and a daughter in a wheelchair?  I thought she was married?

Daughter:  No, they got divorced two years ago.  He already re-married and now she is re-marrying.

Me:  (Frowning)  Really...that is too bad.

Daughter:  No, Mom, is it all OK.  They have worked it all out and he lives nearby and takes the kids enough of the time.  They are happy.

Me:  So you also had dinner with M the other night. Just the two of you.  How did that go?
(M is an extremely special person to me, and I could not love her more if she was my own.)

Daughter:  She is still struggling.  She has no one to really talk to help her through this.

Me:  What about B?

Daughter:  B is really busy with the new baby.  Remember how you and I could never have a decent conversation once my son was 9 months and mobile?

Me:  Yeah.  I remember the shock of returning to the attempt to talk to adults with little ones.  What about her best friend S?

Daughter:  Well S discovered last month a lump in her breast and she has been diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer.  She may end up having both breasts removed.

Me:  (Sighing out loud and trying to fight back tears.)  Did M's weekend with the old college girlfriends help?  She posted pictures on FB.

Daughter:  Yes, but they are a day's drive away and both of them are really struggling with money issues in their families, so unable to drive up and visit at all.

Daughter:  She told me that she really has no one except her therapist.  She told me she is taking a collection of meds...antidepressants, etc.

Me:  ( I am frightened and speechless.)  Well, can we plan a "girls" weekend soon...maybe as a gift for her upcoming birthday?

Daughter:  Sure, just I cannot squeeze anything in until January. 

(My daughter is not exaggerating as she is always on the go with three kids and a very busy job that requires travel.  I am depressed among other things.)

The photo above is a solar-powered garbage barge in the harbor of the city. It cleans up all the paper and plastic and crap that blows from the restaurant tables of people busy living their lives but it does nothing to remove the ugly film of oil that floats on the surface constantly.

A Night in the City

Hubby has a trip, a long trip both in time and space, that he is making. He is going to be gone for a month working on a project on the other side of the globe in the middle of the ocean.  He likes to tell others it is a company he started. It is not. It is a hobby he started employing a few staff at poverty wages, and it is a bone of contention between us in terms of its expense to our personal bottom line since there is no profit margin at this stage (the first decade of its operation!). It is keeping him alive and energized, so I am of two reactions on this "project" and do a continual dance.

Anyway, his first of four flights was departing at 4:55 in the morning this past Sunday.  Since the airport is an hour and a half from our house and since we did not want to pay for a month of long-term airport parking, I had to drive him up there.  But since he knew that he had to be there at 2:55 A.M. for check-in which meant we had to leave at 1:30 A.M. for departure from this house, he compromised by offering me a fancy dinner at the city restaurant and an overnight in the local airport hotel using points.  It meant I could sleep in, which I did, get one of those awful free breakfasts and leave for home the next day around 8:00 A.M.

I had not been in this city for over a year and was impressed by all the changes.  Like many cities, it has its challenges with crime, budget limitations, and culture issues.  But the state officials have made a deal with the devil (a fossil fuel company from another country) and seem to be able to upgrade the nicer parts of the city as this company moves into the state's rural areas and expose others to air pollution and sudden death---NOT an exaggeration as I live rurally.  Chances are slim this wealth will trickle down to the more challenging areas of the city and the school systems.  I have not given up hope, though.

Anyway, while walking around the more touristy parts of the city on a perfect fall weather afternoon, with only sparse numbers of tourists, it became a nice evening to say goodbye to my husband before our temporary separation.

Below, a few photos I captured after a fancy cocktail in one of the seafood restaurants.

Lots of new dock space for all the yachty types.

Lots of crime-free sidewalks to enjoy after dinner although a few skateboarders and bikers could have used some discipline.

Fancy places to work and to live in the heart of the city.

And plenty of chain restaurants to appease the citizens along with a lovely sunset.

If I Got Paid

My last post was over two weeks ago.  If I got paid for blogging I would hate the process because there would be deadlines. But since I don't, I can write when my mojo is puttering along and ignore the lack of a muse when my spirit is deflated. I guess I have been in a funk. Shall I list the reasons? Or would you rather avoid my complaints? They are big and small. The biggest is helping a loved one fight depression and alcoholism, fully knowing my help is in vain most times and realizing that I am only pretending to pull them back from the cliff. We are in good days now so I can focus on the blog and my glass is half full.

The medium reason for a lack of creativity is that multiple health problems have been visiting hubby. Nothing death threatening or even scary. Just constant reminders that our bodies are falling apart as we age and making me face up to the fact that I have to take on more responsibilities and accept a more careful lifestyle as the years move on.  (And also try to find more diplomatic ways to get him to slow down rather than screaming at him.)

Also, I have friends and friends of friends involved with the California fire disaster and I do feel helpless so far away. Yes, this is all linked to climate change... ALL the Armegaddon shocks as our oceans heat up. Scientists are now finding that the warmer the waters of the ocean the slower the circulation of the major currents and the potential for tremendous changes when those biggest bodies of water stop moving. It will mean climate changes in huge areas, loss of seafood, and loss of land food. (Some folks think the scientists are lying to get more money for grants for this research...go figure!)  China is not looking to expand their coal industry because they believe their scientists. They are putting huge sums of their money into solar farms. Just today the Saudi's admitted that developing solar farming is so cheap they have no trouble finding the lowest bid for their development...and they are an oil-rich country!

The smaller reasons for my funk, but no less important, and tied to the paragraph above, are the horrible things happening to our country and the way some Americans accept exaggeration, daily contradictory statements, and outright lying as a means to an end if they agree on that end. 

Well, now that I have got that off my chest, maybe I can actually write something next time!?

NO TIME

A good blogger would have posted something by now.  I have wanted to write about privilege which then made me think I should tell you about the spiraling web of getting a Brazilian Visa and then I realized I have No Time. I sm busy most of this three-day weekend with volunteer work and then the following days with two medical appointments. OK. I will just leave you this photo from a few nights ago as our sun starts to set once again over the water.

People Are Real

When traveling there are usually adventures, some rewarding and some that are annoying verging on the ugly. I am of the belief that travel keeps a life in perspective and in technicolor. Without travel you have a life of monotony and lots of grayness except for an emergency or miracle or two.  Yes, life tests you but if there is little testing of beliefs, testing of bravery, testing of what is trueness, that is a life unearned.  Travel is better when leaving a safe place, and even a journey to a new town down the road can be a learning experience if one keeps their eyes open.

Of course, there are those who are afraid of having to negotiate with someone who does not speak their language, or who speaks it with a thick accent.  There are those who do not like being at the corner of a street unable to read any of the signs and being watched by the locals who sit on their benches with blank emotion in their eyes.  There are those who are put off by peculiar food smells and certainly repulsed by bizarre-looking foods.  Screw your courage to the sticking place, my friend, because this is not an us and them situation.

I consider myself an introvert based on all the tests I have taken and the literature I have read.   Having written this, I am also pretty outgoing on travel.  I am addicted to answers and always asking questions from the locals and other strangers as I suck up all of the newness of where I am.  

I even ask questions of the tourists, because they have their own funny stories.  My ice-breaker is using photography.  Those selfies usually lend themselves to an offer so that both parties can be in the photo or so the person can pose.  Recently while in Amsterdam and walking through their city park, which most tourists miss, I came across a lovely young woman with a bouquet of flowers in her arms using her phone to take a photo of herself with a large chestnut tree in the background.  A tree...a simple tree to frame her.  Of course, I immediately offered to take her picture for her and used a larger framing that would truly lend perspective to her tiny body and the monstrous tree.

As we later talked, she asked if she could take a photo of my husband and me which we agreed.  She explained she was from Turkey.  She was traveling alone and had been traveling for 20 days.  She was heading home the next day.  She was a chemical engineer and had just graduated and was going to start a new job in her homeland.  Now the cynics would remind me to check my purse and pockets when she left and other cynics would say she was something other than a chemical engineer and was just lying to impress or deceive us.  But I knew she was real.  Most people are real.  You have to believe that the globe is full of honest, hard-working and generous people or why live?  

The Wrap-up

While I took over one thousand photos...OK closer to two thousand...I deleted at least 20%. ( I saw that eye-roll.)  I have backed up the rest of them for memories and so that my children have something to throw out when I die. This last post is just a quick look at who got us there.  In these times I am very aware of the importance of work, economic stability, and international relations.  I almost always find a reason to admire those that give it their all in work that is demanding and that keeps them away from their loved ones.

The crew of our ship was over the top in friendliness and assistance, as they must be in such a competitive industry. They certainly hear the same questions from old people day after day regarding the complicated schedule, and still, they fail to lose their patience. The Captain, who certainly kept to himself, was from Germany and amazing at being able to dock and maneuver through the locks with almost no jerky movement that you would notice. In the photo below, he is turning a very small wheel (palm size) that adjusts thrusters and moves us every so lightly toward the shoreline to dock.  He turns just degrees!

The lower level crew that handle the rest of the ship usually come from the Baltic states where jobs are few and skills are high.  Their ability to speak English is a premium for these jobs.

At least the maintenance can be done in an open-air office.  These ships are amazing in their complexity.

The crew that deals with the passengers are usually from the countries that the ship passes through. Germany, Nederlands, and France were the homelands of our shipmates.  When I asked they said they usually have 8 weeks on and one week off.

Above a toast with Aquavit to the success of our voyage, by the Hotel Manager and the Chef. There is no staggard seating for dinner, but they managed to mass produce a decent meal with variety!

Some of the crew were multitalented and sang and played instruments. (It was not as hoaky as it may look in this photo!)

And the Cruise Director was also super outgoing, full of humor, full of the double entendre, and a good sport...she only wore this costume on the last night and looked professional most of the rest of the trip.

The serving and cleaning crew were mostly from the Philippines and a long way from home.  

I took the photo below in a haze as my cold was beginning and while we were waiting for our shuttle to the airport.  We were almost the last to leave the ship.

Architecture

Americans who go to Europe become enthralled with the timber-framed houses, ancient stone castles, and old brick architecture that claims the history of the country. But, while in Amsterdam, I became intrigued by the edgy more modern architecture. Perhaps it is because I live in the country and rarely see cities or have time to walk about when I visit them.

All of the pictures below were taken in Amsterdam...just Amsterdam.  There are some really dramatic modern buildings in other parts of Europe, but I did not get a chance to see those so I will share these.

Above is the ceiling as you enter the Van Gogh Museum which was remodeled just a few years ago.  (I personally feel they totally failed on the sound suppression as the high floors get the brunt of the noise below in the open areas!)

Below is another museum...I think it was a marine museum.

My favorite is to try and capture a library or two!  I wish I had had time to go inside.

Now for some more "edgy" buildings.

I think this above is a hotel?

Lots of buildings on stilts, maybe due to the fact that Amsterdam is below sea level.

Man seems to be getting smarter about environmental building, privacy in cities, affordability, and durability.  I wish I had time to study the history of each of these projects and what the people thought after they were built.

(PostScript to Granny... I just did not find the time to do the Wednesday challenge...I refuse to admit that the word list was a bit terrifying.)

Of Course There Were Castles

The major point of moving down the mid-Rhine region of Europe on a riverboat cruise is the ancient castles that dot the hillsides. Some of the castles are abandoned and in ruins, others are privately owned---one by a Japanese man who paid 25 million Euro(!), and others have been turned into hotels, perhaps charging prices not reflective of their service(?)...some even with parking at the top of the hill!

Most of the days were overcast and trying to get good photos of the castles without the definition of sunshine was a challenge.

They were all sizes and shapes.

Seeing castles from a cruising river ship is certainly the lazy way to experience the history and architecture, but I was able to visit a few castles. They require walking up many stone steps and then navigating lots of cobbles and slate and rock beds. People trip and fall all the time as they look away for a second from their foot placement.  The photo below was the only one I could find where I captured the uneven terrain.  You can see the threshold was smooth, but further in, it was treacherous!

"To reach my bed, I have 158 steps to climb, explained Hermann Hecher, the genial owner of the Burg Reinstein, near Bingen. " And it's really terrible when I forget something. Because then I have to go all the way back down and up again!"  Taken from Castles in the Air, A Journey Down the Rhine.  Hecher, a former opera singer, purchased his castle from Prinzessin Barbara von Hessen und Rhein, Herzogin von Mecklenburg, for the sum of 360,000 Deutschmarks---whatever that translates to today.

This one above is definitely a hotel.  I read that nearly all the castles on the mid-Rhine are not medieval castles, but nineteenth-century reconstructions of medieval castles.  "Most were built in the 13th and 14th centuries to collect customs duties for the Holy Roman Emperor.  Seeing what a good business it was, so-called Raubritter or Robber Barons, build their own castles to get a piece of the action."  This was an area of Jewish merchants and they were especially preyed upon.  By the end of the 17th century, most castles had been destroyed in feuds and wars.  Today more than 60 castles remain.

The stories from this area are haunting like the Grimm Brothers horror tales and romantic like words that were written by Bryon and Shelley.

Die Pfalz constructed by King Ludwig

This castle in the photo above was known for breaking up the pack ice that came down the river in the spring.

Castle maintenance and repair is not for the faint of heart.  The government sometimes will provide a grant or loan, but like agro-tourism, they make money by putting on falconry shows, having butterfly houses, and renting out for weddings.

And as you can see from these photos wine is an important crop.  It is a passion with the Germans and I learned for the first time that Reisling can be dry.  The slate stone upon which the castles are built is important in absorbing the heat of the sun which is important to the vines growing at the upper limit of this wine growing area.  I did not go on a wine-tasting because they are usually unrewarding to me.  If I ever return I will pay for a private tour, which is better.

Yes, the grape harvesting on these steep hillsides is still done by hand, but fewer and fewer are willing to work that hard and small wineries appear to be closing.

Well, thanks for coming along the river with me.  By the way, do you have a favorite castle?

Kicking off the ancient dust on my shoes

Back from my ten-day trip starting in Amsterdam and moving to Kinderdijk, to Cologne, to Koblenz, to Heidelberg, to Strasbourg to Breisach and ending briefly in Basel, Switzerland.

Lots of food and wine, lots of tours of cathedrals, museums, cultural spots and quaint medieval structures. This type of thing always reminds me of how naive Americans are to think that the history of our country is weighty in time. We are just babes in the woods of civilization.

Amsterdam is a high-energy city with a young population.  They have a population of close to one million and at least 1.8 million bikes.  While they have an excellent tram and bus system, the streets are cobbled in places and narrow in others with limited car parking.  Most bike owners have "backup" bikes to use when their bike gets stolen.  There is a whole black market where a stolen bike can be purchased to replace your stolen bike.  The police offer no real assistance as this seems to be too routine to attempt to enforce.

I did wonder how on earth a tired worker found his bike at the end of the day!  

We were cautioned about kami-kazi bike riders many times as we got in the habit of looking both ways when crossing streets.

Amsterdam is a very liberal city as most people know.  We accidentally walked around the red-light-district, but the only way one would recognize it in the daytime was the pornographic postcards and the fluorescent condom displays in some windows.  Night time is when the curtains are drawn open and women advertise, and we were tucked safely back in our hotel rooms by then.

The flower market sells cannabis seeds and there are pot-pubs to kick back and relax.  These areas were obvious by the many cigarette butts in front of the sidewalks the next day.

The city itself is very safe and lovely with surprisingly clean canals.  We did take a canal ride, but the walks were more rewarding.

We have been home for days, but I caught a cold two days before our flight home and while I managed to hold it together for the 7.5 hour flight, I completely collapsed upon our return and have been in bed being lazy for the last three or four days...what day is it anyway?  I actually felt sorrier for the Ukrainian of over 6 feet who had to sit next to me in the window seat in pretzel formation listening to my sniffling!  I hope his business trip was healthy!

On The First Day

There is little to calm the spirit more than a small child's enthusiasm and laughter for things that become somewhat routine to an elder. My grandson is six and has a mind interested in many things. On the first day of his week long visit, we had been charged with looking for a new bike as he had outgrown the one from last year. We are lucky to have a small bicycle shop in town and he found a lime green/red racing stripe bike that just suited his needs. It even had hand brakes! Something new for him to try.  The photo is filtered to hide faces a bit.

Then we had to plan dinner as it was late in the day.

First, we had to check the crab traps to see if that was what we were having!

What fun hearing him squeal when the traps had crabs.

We ended up with 9 medium sized crabs which made enough for the three of us!

Back up the hill to start cooking.

Stalking the Wild Mushroom

We have gotten lots of rain here. (Not the bad rain that south Texas is enduring.)   When it rains in my woods this time of year, it usually means an abundance of mushrooms pushes their heads through the moss. These photos below were taken just a few feet from my back yard in what we pretend is the "lawn."  While the weather seems a bit cooler, the ground was wet and muddy and soaked through my jeans while I balanced on my knees to capture these.

Since mushrooms grow well on dead matter you can guess that my lawn is not all that healthy. It used to be woodlands, after all!