One woman had started a native planting under her mailbox. She was proud of the plants coming up even though it was sparse. While she was gone one day, her neighbor mowed the area and mowed all the plants down! She went to him and was pretty angry and so was he.
My first reaction was that this was just a kind gesture by the neighbor and that he accidentally mowed down what he thought were weeds while doing a neighborly gesture. I suggested that she try and calm the waters (you don't want a war with someone next door) and tell him about the virtues of natives and offer to help him plant some. If he was still angry, then avoid him.
Everyone else on the list said that he was an idiot, deserved what she did, and even some said she should call the police for trespassing. ( I am sure the police have plenty to do with 50 gun deaths alone in the U.S. over the 4th of July weekend.)
A few were wise in telling her to put around some boulders for a border edging or a small fence and also a sign telling people what they were.
I guess my question to my readers is am I a pansy? Was my advice wrong? Can't we all just get along?
I like your suggestion. Second I'd do the rock lined bed. I had a neighbor who refused to talk to me because I didn't "value" or "care" for my lawn the same way he did his. I liked the violets and clover that grew in mine. His gardens were very orderly, I preferred the random, natural garden style with native plants. He put round-up on a foot wide strip between our yards so my "hippy lawn: didn't invade his. He was right about one thing, the conventional lawn never appealed to me.
ReplyDeleteYour compassionate and generous response appeals to me very much. But it's hard to know why he didn't ask first. I'd definitely put up a rock barrier for future plants.
ReplyDeleteI am not clear if his anger was coming from weeds in the neighborhood or from a response to anger being directed at him. I do feel inclined to think the native plant person could have asked her neighbor why he did that and explain why she would appreciate his never doing it again. Seems like something not worth starting a whole neighborhood war over though.
DeleteI agree. I had actually wrote that perhaps he was trying to do something good and was embarrassed when she pointed out the mistake and just had too fragile an ego to handle her criticism. They both need to take a step back and breathe.
DeleteI agree with you on this. I think the neighbor was trying to be helpful and it would be nice if one of them could take a first step in trying to mend their relationship if at all possible. Oh well... life:)
DeleteI see you actually follow your own advice (below): Take your time...take a deep breath.
ReplyDeleteLet me see if I get this straight. She planted natives, which looked weedy, under HER mailbox. Was this an area of community mail boxes? If not, why did he mow it? Did he think he was doing a good deed, or did he want to get rid if her WEEDS?
ReplyDeleteThey need to talk, not yell, not get angry. Your advice is good.
Reacting with anger first is one reason we have so much strife in society now. You are correct, she needs to fence or border her plants somehow, and let him know, nicely, what she is growing and why.
ReplyDeleteWhy was HE angry? Angry about what she was growing or angry because she was angry? I think your advice was fine, but I don't completely understand the situation, including why he felt compelled or comfortable with mowing that area.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Scary complete lack of regard for a person's property, not helpful. Document the incident, pics, details, dates and such in case something happens again.
ReplyDeleteTending natural plantings to present neighborhood well would be my next step.
well, yes, making peace is always a good option. I understand her initial anger and even his if he felt he was doing a good turn (many unknowns about that). so I think it would be smart for her to explain to him why she reacted the way she did, that she had gone to a lot of trouble to get the plants established, apologize for her angry response, and thank him for his kind gesture but ask him not to do it again. and yes, put a border around the planting, maybe even a small sign that says 'native perennials growing' until they get big enough to look like more than weeds to others.
ReplyDeleteWe have gotten to the stage where we don’t speak to our neighbours about anything, let alone what we are doing with an adjoining piece of property. Sad.
ReplyDelete"She went to him and was pretty angry ..." That kinda starts off the conversation, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI think going to him without showing her anger probably would have helped the situation more. But, I think she should have told him he missed the boat with what he did.
ReplyDeleteThat was good advice.
ReplyDeletegood advice
ReplyDeleteTotally off topic: Long ago and far away you sent me a note card. On the front is aa glorious red peony with a bee working the middle. I have it today in my tiny rotating gallery, and I am enjoying it a great deal. Thank you again.
ReplyDeleteWell that made my day!!
DeleteI think your advice was very good because it's important to get along with your neighbors. HOWEVER, like everyone else said... I'd put a border of rocks around the plants. Big Rocks.
ReplyDeleteCould you give us a link or two so we could see these sites too.
ReplyDeleteYour suggestion sounds good and to rock off the area another time. Avoiding conflict with a neighbor always good.
ReplyDelete