Friday, August 02, 2019

Dancing with Relatives

Nothing can test a marriage more than spending days in hotel rooms with a sibling and an in-law. We survived, but the biggest dance was around being old and set in our ways. For instance, the sib and his wife refused to drink the hotel room coffee. They walked the six blocks each morning to Starbucks for a more gourmet version of the morning pick-me-up. I purchased some Starbucks instant foil packets (they are pretty good) and enjoyed coffee in my bed! Hubby does not drink coffee.

My brother is a conservative and I have no idea if he voted for the current mental case in the White House, but we did avoid politics.  His wife is from Denmark and very much a liberal and socialist as her country reflects that...even though they have a monarchy.  I was surprised that he watched CNN in the morning, but maybe he did that for us.  (CNN has become too much one-note these days for me.)

We both love the outdoors and seem to be on an even pace with how much physical activity we both wanted.  My brother is a silent Sam and we really never know what he wanted.  That is one reason their marriage ( a first for him and a second for her) works.

The money dance is always the most important.  They are conservative in spending, although Sis-in-law was the one who sprung for the expensive pedicure in Jackson Hole.  They own multiple rental properties as well as two homes and do not have to budget tightly.  We have far less money than they do, but I am always ready for a fancy restaurant splurge at least one night!  (My sister and I were wondering how my brother's wife talked him into the China trip...which is costing a lot.)  He does not like making small talk in the evenings, so we must protect him from that and encourage him to head for bed early on this trip!

I am ever thankful to my sis-in-law for giving up a precious week this summer to go around with us because her second son's wedding is less than a month away.  Her son lives in D.C., but the couple is invading her mountain Colorado plateau for a wedding of about 100 guests.  Sis-in-law will be hosting a family from Denmark and her ex-husband during the three days.  The rest will stay at a hotel and the ceremony will be in a tent with terrific views at a nearby resort.

Sis-in-law was in the process of remodeling the main bathroom and adding a back deck during the week we arrived!!  Mother's go crazy for their kids.

Although we know the son and have hosted him and one of his earlier girlfriends at our home, we are not invited.  I am not mad about it, but I do think it is weird as my family members that live in Colorado are invited.

Families are complicated, are they not?  I have learned it is best to be like the duck in the rain and let it roll off.

Next post about searching for ashes.










14 comments:

  1. Families are often complicated, you are right.

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  2. You are making the trip to China with them? This might've been a good test run if so.

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  3. Yes, families are complicated. Can I send you that card I sent you in Jan 19? I took all your advice for yesterday and distracted myself. Even listened to the podcast. :) Thanks.

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    1. YES..I love getting cards. IM me with your address as well.

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  4. Dancing, complicated, nice ways of looking at. Relative dynamics texture to the smooth parts of life, and smooth the rough parts.
    Oh dear me the curses do flow...no invitation is inexcusable.

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  5. fortunately my two sibs and I get along fine and we are all liberal. odd considering our father, at least, was conservative. I have no idea about our mother. perhaps you weren't invited to save you the travel expenses and 100 guests is small as these things go.

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  6. Families are complicated -- some more than others. I like the duch approach myself.

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  7. The older I get, the harder it is to give up on the routines in my life, whether it is family involved or not. You did well to last as long as you did.

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  8. Next time I have to spend a few nights with one of my sisters-in-law I will try to think of it as a dance. Honestly, I will try. I'm blessed with some wonderful in laws who I love to bits but one of them . . . As you say, families are complicated.

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  9. Sometimes with family it's best to just smile and not get into anything too complicated.

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  10. I live in Washington state, which has a coffee shop in every downtown block, sometimes more. I avoid Starbucks as the coffee isn't nearly as good as local favorites. Family is complicated. I also wonder why you were not invited to the wedding. You have a good attitude about it, though. :-)

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  11. I think I would walk 6 blocks to avoid Starbucks.

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  12. Anonymous8:27 PM

    James Carville is married to Mary Joe Matalin. That fascinates me. Perhaps your sibling and his wife make their marriage work in the same way. As for coffee, I prefer K-cups! But Skamania Lodge in Washington (the state) has fantastic coffee served 24 hours/day, free in the lobby or to order at their restaurant. Andrea

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  13. Tough dealing with other folks quirks isin't it?! Eveyone has their issues.

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.