Sunday, February 14, 2016

It is a Dangerous World Out There

This past fall while traveling in Florida and visiting some long time friends, I met a man.  He was a childhood friend of my friend and they had not seen him in decades although they lived in the same state.  The man was in his late 70's I am guessing.   He was tall and handsome.  He used to be an engineer.  I surmised that he was a very successful engineer because he recently lived in a beautiful house in a very nice part of Florida, one of those impressive gated communities.  He lived there alone and I think his wife had passed years ago.  He had been a community leader explaining he had thrown many a party for political candidates.  (Stop me if I have told this story.  I swear I have the memory of a gnat.)

We were talking about weather, food, filling time because his car would not start.  He had come for a visit to my friend's house and could not leave.  He was restless and impatient.  That type that I know so well that runs companies or manages projects.  The type that wear out the carpet and check their  watch every few minutes.  It was getting dark and both he and the neighbor lady he brought did not like to drive in the dark.  This is common among the elderly and a joke among the middle-aged in Florida.

The conversation got around to his new smaller neighborhood and why he had sold the big house.  I assumed he was going  to say that it was too large for him, too hard to maintain, too expansive to use or that his friends had all moved away.  Instead he said he had moved because he used to wake up in the middle  of the night listening for noises and thinking someone would break in and kill him...not rob him, kill him.  Now maybe I could read something into this, like who had he wronged over  the years or what did he know that we did not about his past, but I really think there was nothing nefarious here.  There was no crime spree any greater than any other place in the state or even the states for that matter in his area.

I think he was that man that never was comfortable in a community unless he was the leader running things.  I do not think he was the man that trusted his fellow man.  He was not the man that figured most people are honest, most people are fair, most people do not have hidden agendas.  He was the man  who would vote to go to war first and ask questions later because the world is a dangerous and ugly place.

Last week I read a news story about an incident on the mass transit train  in England.  A man, large and military looking, got on the car  and began  having an emotional attack of some kind.  He was talking to himself, thrashing about and terrifying the other passengers.  A woman in her 50's or 60's was sitting at the end of the car where he was standing and she reached out and took his hand when he took a pause in his emotional outburst.  He collapsed to the floor in tears and sat there the rest of the ride  holding her hand.  At the end when it was time for him to get off he said softly to her, "Thanks moma (mum?)." and exited the train.

When this woman was later interviewed they asked her if she had been  afraid.  She said, "Of course."  but she explained that her instinct told her to try to help.  She did not know how he would react, but  she  knew he needed something.  Yes, I know that this could  have turned out so much worse for  her, but I truly feel the odds were on her side.  The world is not that dangerous and ugly if we use caution and  love.



18 comments:

  1. Wow, my heart was in my throat. What a very powerful story.

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  2. What a wonderful story for a day when we celebrate love. I am very moved. Thanks, Tabor. :-)

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  3. Reaching out can be scary but so worth it. I'd love this story any day but it is wonderful on this day. Thank you for the inspiration!

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  4. The problem is the world is both a place of safety and love and at the same time a world that is dangerous and ugly. The problem is it's random for how it works out, and we cannot totally protect ourselves or assume anything other than taking each situation on its own merits. I've long encouraged my kids to use their instincts, the small still voice and don't ignore it. The woman might've the next time been knifed to death by someone of a different mindset. But if she was using that small voice and she was tuned to the signals coming from the other person, she probably would not do it that time. I've often thought the toughest things for us today is the randomness and often senselessness of the violence that can be out there-- or not.

    Out here in rural America, I haveI had a saying where it came to our neighbors -- you have to decide whether to build a bridge or a fence because some people you can make peace with and some you cannot. Admittedly I live in a place where rich and poor live side by side, where you have all kinds and it's not protected by gated communities or economic barriers created by zoning. It is both cool to live where all sorts live side by side but it also can present some challenges that gated communities don't get. Of course, what do I know about gated communities from personal experience-- I've never lived in one and hopefully won't ever *fingers crossed*

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  5. Yuppp....the world isn't that dangerous if we use Love AND Caution...if we use our Heart AND Gut instinct in tandem!

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  6. Great story. Can't say if your told it before because I too have the memory of a gnat. That is great when it comes to hearing stories over and over and for watching old movies like it was the first time.

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  7. And that is precisely why i am not afraid to go down to where the homeless live for church services, or to distribute aid. No, i've never heard this story before.

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  8. I know I'll be thinking about this story for a long time.

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  9. QuIte a juxtaposition. I feel like,despite his economic success, the man has in a way failed at life.

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  10. Bad things can and do happen. However, to live life expecting the worst must take a terrible toll. Paranoia must make a person's life unbearably bleak.

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  11. Wow, people are strange. A haunting story.

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  12. Yes, I read that earlier. I would have been terribly frightened. Perhaps the handsome Florida man is afraid. Just afraid.

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  13. That is very strange. I thought of the funniest thing, though. Observing children on the playground when looking after my grandkids, I would often observe very worried and cautious little boys who always wanted to stay close to their mothers. I suppose they were urged against their cautious natures to be bold and brave and maybe devealoped a reaction formation. Just one of those odd ideas of mine, I guess.

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  14. I totally agree!!! somehow many Americans have fallen into a pit of fear and they combat it by carrying guns around. I have no understanding of the kind of fear that makes you want to carry a gun to protect yourself, seeing an evildoer in every face you pass. yes, bad things do happen sometimes but we do still live in a civilized society and by far people will live their whole lives without being robbed or attacked.

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    1. Oh I agree with you hundred percent. A bit of kindness goes a long way -- even to those that we are afraid of. I had a couple of experiences that made me realize that feeling compassionate helps a person through a not so good situation. One situation was with an elderly man that had a gun tucked in his pant's belt and wanted to use it. I knew he was frightened (as was I) so I just kept talking with him until the police came and relieved him of the gun in a gentle way. -- barbara

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  15. The scene on the train is unforgettable. It's hard to see adults as children but if it was a child more of us would offer comfort.

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  16. I wish I could answer you right there.....You can see the family's alcoholism? Over education? Good bones? LOL I couldn't resist. I do like that note.

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  17. I see us that way too. Thanks.

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.