Friday, October 30, 2015

Night Rambling-Rumbling

Fighting insomnia always seems to be my battle during a full moon.  Perhaps I am a witch?  Is this my season to be out and about with black magic?  In these dark early mornings with only moonshine (the kind that splashes on the patio, not the kind that spills from a glass),  I feel like my brain is a room with ping-pong balls going off in all directions.  The balls are clean and shiny with lots of ping, at least.  They ricochet with endless energy before that first cup of coffee even gets made.  But I must contain them, as hubby is still sleeping and I try to be quiet.

I received a coupon for a digital course on meditation and I have been thinking of taking it, like a vitamin.  It is hard for me to find a quiet place to study something like this as I am never sure when hubby will be off on a project of his own.  And I need to concentrate as I have tried (superficially) and failed (completely) in doing this before.  Hubby has gotten more and more restless, like a dog chasing his tail,  as the weather gets cold and rainy and he finds he cannot fish or garden or just take off to visit some neighbor's project.  Winter has been his challenge in that he has no indoor hobbies, unlike I, who has photography, writing, cooking, reading, watching Netflix, doing bits and pieces of interior decorating....etc.  He spends time making plans to visit old stomping grounds, Florida. 

Mage gave me a tiny critique on my poem on my other blog and I realized it is time for me to grow up and stop creating poetry diarrhea.   I need to hone and pause and edit and write again.  Maybe I need a course on writing poetry?  That sounds so comfy warm for winter afternoons, really.  Yes, I see that face some of you are making...to each his own.

This will be the first Halloween we do not drive up to visit the kids.  Many reasons.  I thought they still had the company in their house (long story about company living there during a month-long house remodel).  Then they said they were going to a Halloween party and wanted to know if we could babysit childsit.  And for some immature reason I just felt a little used.  Sugar-infused childsitting was not exactly the family get-together I had in mind.  Thus, I made other plans, but those fell through, so now Halloween will be a non-event at my house as I live at the end of a dark and long road.  I long ago gave up decorating the house.  I envy those cute grannies that have little decorations in every corner...until the event is over and everything has to be rounded up and wrapped back in the storage boxes.  Also, no one really sees these decorations except hubby and I.

As a reward for reading my spew above, how about some of my last rose photos taken a few days ago before the rain ripped the petals to shreds to wrap up this disjointed barrage of thoughts?   These are the true colors, no photo-shopping.  I get such lovely colors when the nights are in the 40's and 50's and the days in the high 60's.  It is almost English garden weather, meditate on that!












17 comments:

  1. Disjointed thoughts? Maybe. But I enjoyed them - many of them resonated with my own life, and the language they were framed in was so well crafted.

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  2. We live in townies where hundreds of kids come by. It's too much really, so we'll turn out the lights. Somewhere between living at the end of a dark woodsy road and in townies with throngs of kids, there exists a happy medium

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  3. Beautiful photos and roses. Writing is my 'thing' and although I also love photography, it's really writing that takes me out of my world and into someone else's. I don't know if poetry would do that where it requires going deeper within ourselves to get those insights that can be turned into word pictures. I go deep within another character though; so maybe it's the same-- and I am fooling myself.

    We get no kids coming by our house here in Tucson and never did at the farm either. I am not much for decorating though. I used to do a lot for Christmas, but like you, we don't have kids coming at that time of the year; so it quit making sense.

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  4. Winter is tough for an outdoors kind of guy. I recommend trying a musical instrument. One benefit of being old is you don't really need talent to try some stuff. I am horrible on guitar, but no one needs to listen when I am in my cave, and I enjoy the heck out of it.

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  5. the roses are beautiful, well worth the slog through the text. but I'm kidding there. it wasn't a slog. I haven't decorated for anything since the kids were in middle school. except for Halloween (abandoned christmas in my 20s when I moved away from that theology). that was the last holiday I did anything for even if it was just carving a pumpkin. I don't even do that now having moved out into the country/county.

    I've tried, unsuccessfully mostly, to meditate. can't seem to settle down with all the activity in the house. the only time I have ever been successful at meditating was when I was in a group.

    I have no advice for you on poetry. it's not something that appeals to me very much.

    and while I usually have an hour or two of wakefulness every night, I haven't had a real night of insomnia in a while. hope that doesn't jinx it.

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  6. I found this post very interesting and something I can empathize with. Sometimes our feelings can be overwhelming and get the better of us. It happens. We're human. Heck, it's happening to me right now. Poetry can help you arrange your feelings and think through them. Enjoy the process and then let it go. I should take my own advice.

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  7. And I do love your roses!

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  8. Used to meditate. Can't quite do it these days. My peace is in reading a lot. Great post, left me with a lot to think about. No one comes here for Halloween either. My grandkids live near but their mom takes the younger ones to organized events, a "trunk or treat" in the high school parking lot, and the 10 and ups stay home and have a little family party in the evening. Even the teens with a friend or two.

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  9. Your roses are truly beautiful - mine are all ragged and I should really prune them back. I am afraid Autumn is catching up on me and will soon be winter. Meditating is a great idea. Every Blessing Freda.org.uk

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  10. Love the roses...so perfect. Have a lovely weekend!

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  11. Lovely flowers, and i hope you enjoy your quiet Halloween.

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  12. Love the vibrant floral eye candy. Thanks for sharing.

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  13. Oh my
    Roses
    you are the lucky one:)
    You need no course
    just sit still
    and try to quiet your mind
    you can do it
    if I can...

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  14. Anonymous10:04 PM

    Not a spew. I can identify with a lot of it. (I'm an animal without a good night's sleep. I have to guard against being "used" as a baby sitter. Etc.) And the roses are gorgeous. Perhaps they and your photography could become a form of relaxation and meditation?

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  15. I like this post. You sound just a little bit bitchy. I can relate.

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  16. It's hard to teach/learn how to write poetry. I highly recommend a writer's workshop. That means a small group who bring in work each meeting, read and give feedback to each other. You learn as much by giving feedback than by getting it. For sleep I use a black mask and ear plugs and something more medical (NEVER ambien/but something anti-anxiety) if it gets really bad. Lovely roses!

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  17. It's not disjointed. Yes, take a class. Get a tape on Tai Chi/Chi Gong. That stuff really changed me for the better. I agree with Colleen. See if your local community college has a writers workshop. I learned so much there too. Colleen has the right of it.

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.