Wednesday, September 09, 2015

Being Relevant

Two years ago a new young person came into my life.  She is in her 30's and works for one of the security agencies in the government.  I met her through a young relative.  She is smart, hardworking (promoted five levels in six years), pretty in that old-fashioned way, and very strong in what she sees as her life's goals.  While she and I are very similar in philosophy and outlook on life, I was never as strong and brave as her when I was her age...and am still not that brave.  She was also the one that firmed up this relationship between us as I would never assume someone of that generation would find me interesting.

I learned after meeting her that she had told her college roommates that marriage was not an institution to which she ever considered entering.  I was happy two years later to be invited to her wedding.  Her husband is a mellow, smart fellow and fully supportive of  her independent streak.  They met at a Tango club and they CAN tango.  She also said she would  never have children, but that view seems to have changed as well from jokes I heard the last time we were together.

I am so enjoying them as a couple.  Since the young woman has a secure well paying job with the Federal government, the young man has quit a solid job to join a start-up company, run completely by women, hoping for an even better future!  They asked our advice on this and being the person that I am, I told them to go for it as they currently have no children.  They have also purchased a small starter home in the city and I am having fun giving advice on how to create an interior decorating plan.  They both have great taste, so my advice will have little sway.  But since my own children rarely ask me for much advice, except about plants, it  is nice to be a wise old one once again.

While they were here visiting last weekend, I saw the young woman steal a glance into my bedroom as they went down the hall toward the garage.  It surprised me to realize that everything I do in my home decor is now up for scrutiny.  Suddenly I was wondering if I needed to simplify a corner here or there or was it time to change a seasonal color?  Yes, I realize this is a first world middle class concern, but after all the troubles in this world, I am glad to enter the 30-professional-somethings world of finding one's style and way in the world.

I am also glad to be relevant again...even if I am not!


  1. I know what you mean. To be relevant after a certain age is a joy and oh so good for our egos.

  2. With all you do and all your involvements and travel, you are surely relevant. I enjoy the younger generation and have several friends my children's age. Also, I'm lucky to have great D-i-L's who often ask my opinion (and sometimes I ask theirs). I think the younger generation needs our views just as we need theirs - the sharing certainly makes life more interesting.

  3. The way to stay young is to hang with young people.

  4. My son keeps reminding me that I'm an old fart, not directly, of course. Glad this person came into your life.

  5. I have a younger friend and I love most that she never acts like I am so much older than she is. She assumes I can keep up with her and I do.

  6. You sound relevant to me. Some relationships are forever and some for a time. During that time, we are relevant to each other.

  7. One nice thing about the Internet is that age differences don't matter so much.

  8. Anonymous10:22 PM

    I've become friends with several agents in my office who are my kids' ages. To them, I'm just another person, a colleague and friend. It's fun when those age lines blur in friendship and you're not just someone's mom, but seen for the person you are aside from that, isn't it? She sounds like a very interesting woman!

  9. It's great to have friends in all age groups, it keeps the brain working better, i believe.

  10. Will try again, guess it is early :)
    Understand what you share
    and this friendship is good for you.
    Can relate
    and not long ago
    one walked through all of the rooms of my cottage
    and so complimentary.
    I am still on the path of simplicity,
    better then it was in past but have not arrived
    to where I want to be, wonder if I ever will be there :)

  11. I'd say "fate" has put this young woman in your life. It sounds like you have benefited, and she as well, with your relationship. How wonderful for you.

  12. It's nice, isn't it, to have friends from a younger generation.

    And, yes, the flower in my last post is a datura, also called evening nightshade (I've always loved that name) and is a hallucinogenic and poisonous. I've never heard it called a date rape drug before though.

  13. oh, and about the flower, the bud is rather phallic isn't it.

  14. You are a wonderful woman worth emulating. Yup, it adds spice to life to have friends of all ages. Yes too, it makes you look at your life in a new way.

    Peter house tour: How did I get included. I have this great enthusiasm for Ocean Liners. I joined an online group but rarely said a word. I would send notes to various sites such as Maritime Matters....see my side bar, and MidShip Century...that's Peter's site. Once we were invited to LA to see the contents of a container that had just arrived from Alang. Perhaps Peter thought we might buy a piece or two. We couldn't afford anything, but I guess he liked our enthusiasms.

    We have been to several other Peter things, and love what he finds and what he does with it. For example, I would truly love to have the Paulucci he has in the bathroom. It was fun to meet his friends and his mom this time. She was a stunning model in the 1950's. His dad was a B movie actor. Best of all, I got to meet the photographer who runs Maritime Matters.

  15. Our children rarely think we are wise, it is true they want the opposite of what we do-
    That's just the rebel instinct-
    But yes, I often find my kid's friends are my friends, n because I'm not a parent, they don't resent the advice issue- Good for you!


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