It does not help that every month or so I notice some new mark on aging in my body or my ability to do things. I can still put on my pants standing up and I can still get up off the floor without too much difficulty...both actions which I hold close and dear as hallmarks of good health.
As a result of this gloomier mood, I have been more prone to avoid getting together with others unless they are family. I used to be this way when I was middle-aged (decades ago), but it was just a light mood. Now when I have a meeting to go to, as I do this evening, I really want to just stay home and curl up with a good book or TV British mystery and some hot tea. The meeting is a "meet-and greet" for new members and almost everyone that shows up is a wonderful person! We all have the same interests anyway! Yet, I am not eager to be in welcoming mode and small talk mode and eating a buffet of homemade goodies, for some reason. It all seems like taking a 5 mile walk in the heat of the day. I can do it; I know it is good for me; but I do not want to.
I wonder if this is a natural process as we age, because we have less energy and are less eager to think quickly. I mean, if you looked at me, you would not see someone doddering or slow. You might actually think that I look fairly good for my age and be impressed that I have many interests. But maybe this process is to avoid being exposed to illness, avoiding energy draining talk, and preparing us for a time when we will naturally be less active and less conversational? Of course, there are many elderly, like my husband, who live for "meet and greets" and who will hold audience with many at his deathbed.
Oddly enough, I just wrote on someone's blog that they should look forward to the challenges of getting out and about and not be so withdrawn when they complained of avoiding going out to dinner with loved ones...little hypocrite that I am.
(I think I figured out how to change the font size in html with this template..not too old.)
Yes, I note that I creep more and dash about less. Getting up off the floor is an adventure tho. Getting to the gym is more and more important. The water this morning was cold but wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI note that the aging guru, Ronni Bennett is slowing down too. She's posting two less days a week now. She's got it rigged that she actually writes something Monday's, Wednesdays, and Fridays while taking Tuesdays and Thursdays off. Saturdays is a compendium of amusing bits and links. Sundays is a music day with the post built by a wonderful man in AU.
Me, posting shorter posts and saying less. When I do say something I get few notes.
Now go and have a ball.
I took up guitar (again) to learn something new and to have something to look forward to doing and improving at...now my shoulder is hurting from being crooked up to hold the damn thing.
ReplyDeleteGetting old, not fun.
I am still dashing off to those meet and greets and, once there, wishing like hell I had stayed home.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely less interested in going out especially after dark. but then I've always been pretty much of a hermit even though once I force myself out, I always have a good time.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't like are evening events even if it's family. Once in awhile I do them but I am just up too early to be with it after 9 and most evening events are not over at 9. I am not sure if this is aging or just I feel more prone now to do what I like doing-- not what I feel I should do. I'll be at an evening event next week because my granddaughter is in the cast of Sound of Music with minor parts but still fun to see the teens doing these kind of plays. I am sure I will enjoy it but I feel sleepy just thinking about it :)
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of what you describe though is introvert versus extrovert. From where we get our energy is what we will seek out. I am also married to an extrovert although he gets off on being by himself also. Maybe he's a half and half... if that's possible :)
Is it that as we get older we are less tolerant of other people's quirks and foibles, and so we just don't want to deal with them? I dunno.
ReplyDeleteI just want to be in my comfy pants and home from 6pm on with some exceptions such as really good entertainment. And I'm not so willing to put my "nice" face on and be companionable to strangers. I'm also up usually by 5:30am. I used to be up for anything just to get out, but now it has to be early!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's just your natural introvert tendencies asserting themselves a bit more, if you are, in fact, an introvert to who gets your recharge from being alone.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is to think young and not look too closely in the mirror!
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Tabor. And repeat it all for myself. I find myself slowly turning into my mother who is a lovely person but a generation older. As I write I'm thinking of reasons why I don't really need to go out today. Do I?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's that we have less time - patience - for the superficialities (yes, I know that's not a word) of life. Not that we're sitting around thinking DEEP THOUGHTS all the time, but the same old, same old just gets tiresome sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind growing older, so long as I never actually grow old.
ReplyDeleteMy old eyes thank you for the large font!
ReplyDeleteMeet and greet is the hardest thing for me to do. It's an introvert thing. If anything, old age has made me better at it, but I would rather take a walk or work in the garden, or sit and read and comment on blogs without personal contact. Not such a good thing, I guess.
"Stay home curling up with with a good book or TV British mystery and some hot tea..." Sounds perfect! That's what I want to do most evenings too. But with me I know it's not just age, I've always been this way. In fact, lately I've tried to *push myself more*, to *get out there*... but not in the evenings. After 6pm, I want to be home.
ReplyDeleteI'd post a comment but I'm not feeling particularly sociable.... I'm off to read and have some tea instead.
ReplyDeleteTabor, your are so special to me :)
ReplyDeleteMany years reading what I share
and you can see I am no longer dashing about - home is a refuge a place of peace.
I am still doing a lot, but slower and the cane when balance is sometimes a problem
has become a special friend.
All is well and so happy I spent time with family the other evening on a special night out.
My husband and I are not especially social, being more the thinking types, and we're not joiners. However, we cherish friends and family and spend as much time with them as we can. And we have some lovely neighbors. We have each other, and we see people we really care about quite often. And I have some blogger friends, going back more than ten years in some cases. I often fantasize getting together with them and have met a few in person, a matter of fact.
ReplyDeleteOne great pleasure for me is ceramics class, where I have developed strong affinities with several other potters.
To me friendship means having a history, common interests and activities we enjoy doing together. These relationships can't be rushed.
My favorite evening entertainment is dinner or a barbeque with friends.
Anyway, being around others is an enhancement for us, not a burden.
I only look forward to interacting with good friends. A meet and greet would be torture for me. I've always been this way, so I can't blame it on aging.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are re-assessing what you want to do with your time. Of course it's always easier to stay home by your-self, even if you'll be better off getting out and finding new friends.
ReplyDeleteThink ahead to when you'll be stuck at home without a choice someday, then you'll want out!
Without things to do, places to go, and folks to meet, life does seem alot less meaningful to me. I get bored once I get rested, haven't been feeling like doing things either. I do get that way when depressed in the winter too- Maybe the long winter gave you Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Being social helps keep your mind and body from turning to mush. I read that in AARP as I laid in my comfy bed wondering if I should get up and face the day.
ReplyDeleteI figure, whatever our tendency, it gets somewhat magnified as we age. If we tend to gravitate towards being aloof, then that pull will be stronger. Of course, it is also true that I don't know what I am talking about. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for the larger font size. It does help my aging eyes.
ReplyDeleteI'm an introvert and it's actually hard for me to get out and meet people. It's something I have to make an effort to do. I'm glad I did in Seattle, because I'll have that wonderful memory.
Still, I can understand how curling up with a book instead can be relaxing and calming. I often prefer it too.