I hate the fact that I am entering that time in life where the goodbyes are more often of a permanent nature. Everyone has had to bravely pass through this season in their life. I just hate that it is now my turn. I sit quietly here blogging early in the morning. We stole my 2-year-old granddaughter for a visit on Sunday and she is now sleeping blissfully in the Pac-N-Play in our big closet...it is the quietest and darkest place on the main floor of this house. Thinking of her gentle breathing, I see life as a broad spectrum this morning. She has so much adventure ahead of her while others are moving on leaving her room.
My husband lost his sister-in-law last week. We were not close, but she had just visited our new home last year and I was so happy to see her in even better health and sharper spirits than she had been a few years before. Two of her five children had brought her on this trip. They had made careful plans renting an RV and planning for the needed oxygen tanks and other necessary baggage. She felt energized by this chance to get out on a travel adventure, we could tell.
We leave Wednesday for the memorial service in Florida, so blogging will be in stasis for a while, except for the pre-scheduled entries on 'my other blog'.
We all come to that stage eventually; one where more deaths than births take place. My dad used to say there would be no one left to attend his funeral. He died at age 91 and there were 500 people there, but all of them were decades younger than he. We all hate the prospect of attending more funerals. Have a safe trip.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your husband's SIL, and yes, sometimes when we're alone we'll reflect and realize how fast life is moving. This happens to me after I read a book to my son at bedtime and wonder, how long will it be before he asks me not to read to him anymore?
ReplyDeleteWe'll be here when you get back.
Peace to you and your hubby and his family. :)
I was talking with my wife about money the other day, and mentioned that the spreadsheet shows that our money should hold out as long as we do, all things considered. "It will certainly hold out as long as I'm alive", I said, and she looked oddly at me. "Do you expect to die before me?" Well, yeah -- or the life insurance industry's stats are seriously wrong. Odd feeling, thinking about it, though.
ReplyDeleteThe melancholy of life and its impermanence sweeps over me from time to time in a similiar way. I don't go gently into the good night. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteToday morning my friend's grandmother passed away and I was standing at her bedside, praying in silence. And I could experience something broad, expanded, something which cannot be translated into words! There was sorrow around, but I guess there was also this thought that Life doesn't end with the breath stopping. That in the presence of death, you're also in the presence of something transcedental, something beyond the known.
ReplyDeleteDeath doesn't seem to be an opposite of life, or in any way negative as it's made out to be...somehow one gets a broader perspective/vision of life in the presence of Death. And many times you can't find words to express this!
Travel safely. The major life milestones begin to change and so if someone our age group dares as we did to marry late, or returns to school for a degree, or picks up their life in a new way, we celebrate hard for them and with them. But I'm still startled by the "now you see them now you don't" of a death. Peace to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you had some special time with her last year.
The circle of life. Little ones enter the stage. Others exit.
Just wait until you are 84 years old. I had to buy a new address book because it was depressing to open the old one and see how many people I had crossed out.
ReplyDeleteIntimations of mortality..........
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss.
I live in a village where the majority of people I know is old; older than me anyway. Two of our friends are seriously ill and the scraper (who is much older than me while I am the one who has several times been at death's door with illness ) and I also talk of the finite nature of life. Depressing talk indeed.
Would you mind if I became a follower?
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband's sister in law...
ReplyDeleteTake care,
Grammie
They say life and death are inseparable. If one is out of the picture, the other has no meaning.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your husband's sister-in-law.
@ Darlene: Your comment frightened me a bit. Honestly, I never thought life can be that lonely. :(
ReplyDeleteWe too are saying those permanent "goodbyes" and it doesn't seem that this phase of our life will change. It's a toughie most of the time but sometimes it is truly a relief for the deceased and their loved ones.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry about your loss, Tabor. How wonderful that she/you and your husband had the opportunity for her to visit so recently tho. I, too, am at the same 'place' you are at...and what a strange, sad, surreal place it is at times. I still have that sense of displacement/unreality, of 'how can I actually be at this stage in my life' place. Colleen's comment really expresses so aptly my thoughts on life and aging, as well as Vishwa's insight. I hope you are able to 'seize some moments and insights' on the trip, in spite of the reason for the trip.
ReplyDeletehope you guys have a safe trip to FL. i am sorry to learn your/your hubby's SIL died recently and glad she had the trip/adventure to your home before she died.
ReplyDeletesince my mother's death in feb, i am still dealing with the concept of "suddenly they are no where to be found" and the immediate sadness which washes over me when i come to terms with it. we planted an hibiscus syriacus shrub in our gardens in her memory a couple of weekends ago. when it was planted i burst into tears - suddenly it felt like that shrub and my memories were all i had left and it felt so unfair. the oxygen around me disappeared momentarily. those moments happen less frequently now, but they still occur. they might continue to some extent for the rest of my life - who knows? :(
Understand all you share and it is happening in my life. Seems yesterday I was young and now past 70 - guess I am old. Hey, but still have a young spirit.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you and your soulmate and safe travel wishes are sent your way - along with my blessings to you and yours.
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ReplyDeleteWhat you say is so true! Life flies by so quickly, that sometimes it is a scary thing. Sympathy to your husband for loss of his sister-in-law.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your sister-in-law's death. I hope you're doing okay. I can relate to what you said about getting older and experiencing more deaths than you ever have before. But then again, I'm experiencing more births too... ie, grandchildren, friends' grandchildren etc.. . and births are happy times... . That's what I try to think about... anyway. (hugs)
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