Although I have been retired for some time, I do not seem to be falling into much of a regular pattern of daytime/nightime activity. Yesterday I slept until 7:30 (after being lightly wakened by hubby at 4:00 who was heading off for a fishing trip with buddies) and this morning I woke up abruptly, looked at the clock and saw that it was only 4:30. I tried to drift back to sleep, but after 40 minutes I admitted defeat and got up.
Sitting here on the stairwell balcony, where I blog, I can smell the coffee that is ready in the kitchen, hear the faint chirp of birds just waking and hear the deep and regular breathing of my husband in the bedroom below. Today, like most days, is a totally free day for me. I can do whatever I want. Yes, I have a project list, compulsive creature that I am, but I also know that 90% of the things on this list do not have emergency status.
I am not yet too full of free time, not yet satiated and ready for something scheduled that forces me to get up and get going. Perhaps this winter I will look for something to do that fulfills that need, but now I am still in wonder at this endless free time given to me each day. I sometimes think of my mother and father and the early years of their retirement. I wonder what thoughts they had about this time in their life with their children grown and involved with their own lives. My parents were busy and hardworking people and idle time did not come easily to their generation. I know that in their last years watching baseball on TV in the afternoons was my father's respite after clearing weeds and working in the garden. My mother would do her flower gardening and some canning in the summer and then look forward to an afternoon nap. Was this enough to fill their day and the all the rest of the days of their lives?
I do know that the nagging concern I had about having too much time with my husband and not enough alone time, which I so desperately need, has not been a reality. He is a self-starter most days and we spend about 50% of our time doing things together and 50% on our own separate projects. He does not need me to be his oxygen and that is a relief. He also continues to let me be the bossy one in structuring many activities and I am trying to be more compromising in that area. Now that I have so much unstructured time I do not feel the need to be so regimented.
Another good thing I have noticed is I am becoming less anxious about this thing called retirement. Eventually, I may more easily accept it as my new way of life!
:) you are coming around!
ReplyDeleteIt is an adjustment but once adjusted there is nothing more grand than retirement.
ReplyDeleteNot being each other's oxygen is the key. And, staying bossy is the other key. LOL! You are right on track.
Maybe it is because I am older.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it is because I am by myself and every step is made by me.
TV rarely goes on. I do love to bake once a week.
I still struggle with the word retirment.
I still am up by 5:00. Cannot hold my eyes open past about 8:30. Have my routine of gardening, home care, shopping once a week, new world of blogging, few phone calls, my granddaughter is with me 2 or 3 days a week until school begins and on and on.
I am never finished. My to do list grows and the books piled by my chair grows higher and higher.
Winter time a good time for that.
Need to rearrange items in my garage since freezer found a home there. Need more mulch for garden.
Want to start going to lunch once a week or I will become a hermit.
Finally not planning and building another home is so nice.
So I may just be slower. I really do not know. But my schedule has stayed the same for years.
I love my time alone - most of the time.
Maybe I am dull.
Just seems for once in my life I am not restless and more content.
Is this what aging does to you?
I retired 15 years ago, and never looked back. It was easy peasy.
ReplyDeleteInteresting thoughts tabor. Sometimes a chunck of free time can become a bit unsettling, as it happened to me once. My days are full of work-family-errands, leaving me with very little personal time. Once, I had almost a week of this free personal time and much of it was spent in sleep, daydreaming and don't remember what. I guess this happened because of a lack of mental discipline, but you never know.
ReplyDeleteYou're in the adjustment phase and moving forward. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteMy grandpa retired to a recliner after a hardworking life. He used to play hard too so it was hard on the family to watch. Grams was devestated.
Great catch and nice legs. lol
I've been retired since the beginning of April. The first month was taken up with getting ready for a trip to Europe, the trip itself and recovering from the trip. I make lists but don't really get much done. After having worked for almost 30 years I feel twinges of guilt when I'm idle or when I spend too much time blogging. I hope I get over it. If not, it still beats working.
ReplyDeleteI see it more as having a life, one where you work for yourself. I think there would naturally be a period of decompression before the unleashing of what you are made to do now. I remember a few years back when I announced I was (semi)retired and you talked about how close you were. Now you are there! Here we are.
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