I want to die.

(I have had a really shitty week at the office. That isn’t a four letter word, and I wish it was because that is how mad I am. If and when I cool down, I may blog about it. But today I need to write about something lighter.)

Like d-e-a-t-h.

I was reading “WIRED” magazine, which because of its scope, one would think is primarily for geeks. “WIRED delivers the intelligence readers need on the topics that matter most: Technology and innovation. Science and medicine. Business and global politics. Arts and culture. The best new products and more.” I mean, it does contain color pictures of Ashlee Simpson and Lindsey Lohan, BUT they are carrying Ipods or Blackberries or something like that. ANYWAY, I ramble. The article that caught my eye in the latest issue was about death. Actually not death, but what happens after death. The new technologies that have been developed are changing the way we die. I am not talking about cryopresevation. That is Old Hat.

The New Hat is getting cremated and becoming jewelry. I mean if the old man didn’t buy you something nice when he was alive, he can make up for it when he dies! A company called Life gem will turn your dear ones remains into something you can wear around your neck, or over your heart, or well, you know. Certainly more practical than sitting on a mantel in a jar which you have to dust!

If that seems too crass for your tastes, how about reincarnation? Sort of. You can return to earth as a tree. A group of enterprising young men are working on inserting your DNA into a live tree DNA and making magic happen. I think I would like to return as a giant sequoia or a giant banyan tree to shelter all the little critters. I do forsee issues if those that live on after you are not good plant people. I mean maybe the niece that hated you pours hot coffee on your trunk every morning. Of course, if your dog pees on you, that might be good. If you decide to be a fruit tree, would your relatives feel comfortable eating the fruit? This requires some thought.

And finally for the real nature lovers who read this blog, you can have a truly ecological burial. Promessa says they have been working on this process for years. They have been studying composting and cultivation. And you will be returned as “a valuable contribution to the living earth.”

Well, I couldn’t stop with just this information. I did some more Googling and found that you can give away rubber memorial bracelets at the funeral as well. (Everyone else seems to be into this rubber bracelet thing).

Enough food for thought? I feel better already.