I think we all try to be prepared as much as possible. When you reach a certain age you have exercised your preparedness muscle so that it seems to kick in instinctually. But even being prepared for the gut punch that you know is coming, does not mean you will be able to duck in time and it does not mean you will not feel it very painfully.
That little nine-year-old girl died two days ago. She was in days of drugged pain while parents sat by her bedside and held her hand. They saw it coming. It had followed a chemical respite that allowed trips to Disney World and trips to Children's House and the repainting of her bedroom to look like a Panda jungle. Now they face the weekend planning a funeral and returning on Monday to that other life that had been put on hold for months. But they were prepared, right? (no.) They knew what was coming.
I know that death is in the future of my husband and I as we move toward our eighth decade on this planet. One of us will probably go first and the other needs to be prepared. I see some really strong and smart widows (at least 3) that move through their lives as if tomorrow is far in the future and the past is but a distant memory. All three of them were leaders in their careers or society before they lost their spouse. I am so unlike them. I never saw myself as a homebody, but in reality, I am. I watch each of them closely to gain some learning. It is hard.
We all need to be prepared for this Coronavirus that is certainly a Pandemic, although the profiteers won't let the scientists call it that yet. But this is very hard to prepare for because our diagnostic capabilities are poor, we have no idea how many people across the globe, and even in our country, who have caught the virus, survived and assumed they just had a cold and went on to spread the virus to others. We have no idea if and when a vaccine will be created and if it will work for all of us and if we can afford it.
I am not terrified, but I have ordered the N95 virus masks so I have a small collection in the event that I need to go out and about if we are under a "shelter in place" advisory. I have lung issues and it takes weeks for me to shake colds that move into my lungs. I get allergies even in winter that gives me sneezing fits and coughing. Nowadays that action can send people fleeing from your side! I have antiseptic wipes that I carry in my purse, but I have always used these mostly in the winter to wipe down shopping cart handles and bathroom doors, etc. I will not use public restrooms if I can help it, as the hand dryers are notorious for spewing germs (bacteria) into the air. I have antiseptic wipes in my kitchen since we have had food infection outbreaks for years in this country and I wipe down counters and wash vegetables carefully.
I am as prepared as I can be. I have a plan to attend a large assembly of cheer girls at a nearby convention center. This will be at the end of March. I also am prepared to not go and to argue with my granddaughter and daughter if I think they should stay home if the news changes dramatically in our area. My son is taking his two nephews to a big gathering of gamers in another section of town on the same day. I am not prepared for them getting ill, but I have the knowledge that the odds are in their favor to not get deathly ill.
I am not prepared for car crashes, airplane accidents, burglars, or a tragic slip and fall. Life happens and I am prepared to enjoy each and every day I am given. I have no choice. I also find that spending one's life ducking from gut punches leaves one hunched over and staring at the ground all the time.
so sad for the family to lose their child. I don't think anyone is prepared for that, sudden or not. I know I'm not prepared if my husband goes first, he handles all the bill paying and money matters, he does the firing in the kiln of my sculptures and I don't even know how to program the damn thing. I'm not too worried about the coronavirus though as I live in a small town and am hardly ever around a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteand Trump's response to the pandemic is typical of all his responses...late, unprepared, and inadequate. in truth, he doesn't care who or how many get sick or die, all he cares about is that it is affecting the stock market and his reelection chances. he considers informing the public to be a personal attack on himself. he slashed the CDC's budget, closed down the office that coordinates globally for pandemic response and sent a team to meet those 14 evacuees with no protective gear and then that team went out into the general public and now a case has popped up in California in that vicinity. unbelievable that so many still support that ignorant self-centered POS.
If only we knew the future...but then maybe it is best to just take the gut punches as they come. Just put it all in God's hands...that is the best we can do along with using our science to the best of our ability. Andrea
ReplyDeleteYou've probably read the CDC recommendations, but if not here's a link.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/hcp/guidance-prevent-spread.html
Sad on her loss.
ReplyDeleteMy brother was here for a week and it reminded me how awful it would be if he dies before me. He has survived prostate cancer but has a test in April to see if after 12 years, something is back. It scares me. And then the idea that my husband might die before me. I come from a shorter lived family; so it should go the other way around. I think he'd do better without me than I would without him.
I think the coronavirus is being purposely panicked to get news stories and to benefit those who scare people into selling their stocks and then pick up the bargains.
We have also prepared some with some staples and water at the house in Tucson. How we prepare for driving north in June is more dicey.
I was in no way prepared for my husband's death, but you adjust and go on with your own life or you stay stuck in a past that cannot be re-lived.
ReplyDeleteSince we are 102 years out from the 1918 flu pandemic, perhaps people have forgotten that it can happen. We can take reasonable care and prepare as best we can but I am inclined to believe it will elude control for some time.
Sadly this virus is more deadlly than others...except for EBOLA which we were able to keep at bay.
DeleteI am so sorry for this. But I am guessing even those who are prepared were not prepared.
DeleteMy family had an important death with the 1918 flu and my mother and her sisters also got sick with it. I never forget nor that flu can kill though in my case, I am too allergic to the vaccine to take the flu shot. For years, I've had to use the same procedures they recommend now. I've read (from China statistics) that 2% is the death rate and it's lower than other recent pandemics. It is though 15% for those 80 and over. I've learned to live without panic for the flu season where this year already about 20,000 have died with over 30 million having it. Most get coronavirus with most not that sick but they can spread it to those who are more vulnerable. The tough part is you can also spread it before you know they have it. We are a long ways from a vaccine; so washing hands, avoiding crowds is best for us. My granddaughter at a state university, where students come from around the world, is more my concern than me.
DeleteA 2% fatality rate is pretty high, and worse for us older people. It doesn't do any good to panic, but sometimes I have to remind myself that it is all out of my hands. I can do what I can for myself and my loved ones, but life has zero guarantees.
ReplyDeleteI read your words and understand much. The healthy one "me" 80 arrives and seems much begins to happen.
ReplyDeleteIn the last year I had a heart attack and now recovering from Pnemonia. Told in the last year I was not going to make it.
Well here I am doing all I can to become stronger..
I have been solo since a divorce years ago, 4 children that are all professionals, 5 gram
nd children and now 2 great grandchildren, so I have so many blessings, just do not like that now it seems I am worry to them.
I am watching and learning from my sister who was recently widowed. She was not prepared, but she is coping, with the aid for her children and her many friends. It has given me reason for some deep thinking.
ReplyDeleteAs for the virus, you are much more prepared than I am. I'll adjust as I need to as I see what develops. I pay attention, but I am not worried.
I too am concerned about all those things, losing DH, the encroaching pandemic, the political atmosphere, etc. But I refuse to "worry" about any of it. Fear is the enemy... and I fight it daily. I do believe in taking precautions: washing ones hands, not touching ones face, staying away (if possible) from sick people or large gatherings. I also use antiseptic gels in my purse and in the car. But life must go on. You do what you can and hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteSo much to ponder in this post. Thank you for the focus on important issues I have been considering for a while!
ReplyDeleteSympathies and prayers for the loss of the lovely girl
ReplyDeleteHearing in the news, Not wearing a mask unless you are sick makes me cringe!
What happened to wear a mask so you Don't get sick! Down playing the serious side of the virus is one of the dumbest damn things I've heard. I'd say in years, but being an election year, there's an abundance of dumbest things to hear.
Wash hands above the wrist; use the wipes at the grocery store near the door, and use it to wipe the steering wheel, shifter, and door handles; hand sanitizer in the card always; and don't put hands near face or hair; no eating bare handed, use a napkin over the food or a fork; spray Lysol on doors; air out the indoors; drink plenty of water; and if around a large group, mask up especially outdoors where breathing is freezing all around, and runny noses that might drip who knows where. I learned sterile procedures as a nurses aide back in the 1960s, and took care of quarantined patients. There is no room for fooling around, being lazy, taking short cuts where germs are about.
My worry is now and for next year because I believe it will rise again, if it does fade with warmer weather. I don't see a major outbreak in the United States unless folks are careless. I have masks, and will keep a few in a plastic bag with me at all times. One cough, one sneeze is all I need to hear, and I'll be masked.
I've heard the doctors say the mask won't protect you. It can come in through your eyes. It's important evidently for those already sneezing or coughing to avoid spreading it. Hopefully, by next year (if it really slows with the warming season which is still an if) they will have a vaccine that the most vulnerable can get.
DeleteWondering if glasses are helpful!
ReplyDeleteI seem to be hearing that masks are somewhat problematic. Hand washing and not touching your face seem to rate much higher, but I am a face toucher. My own, I mean. :)
ReplyDeleteIf you are out and about and in an infected area, I think wearing a mask helps...IF it is the correct mask and is worn in the correct way and is disposed of when done.
DeleteWhat I've heard is it does not help since it can come in through your eyes. Best is avoid being close to those who are coughing, try to avoid crowds, wash hands often, and don't touch face. They do recommend anyone sick wear them to keep their coughs and sneezes away from others. A mask might give someone false sense of confidence. The other thing is most who get it will get over it and many will barely know they were sick. It's oldsters and especially over 80 but also in their 70s who are more at risk of it becoming more serious.
DeleteWell here in Britain we are still counting who has got it, the theory is of course only those with a bad immune deficiency will be fatally affected, which of course includes those of us getting old. So sad for the parents of that little girl, it will be with them for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteAs for partners who go before us, as you know this has already happened to me last year. Paule is still a constant shadow in my life, my mind never lets up but perhaps I am happier because of it.
I love the blog which just gives your opinion and looks for advise. It gives me an incentive to write my opinion on things and have someone listen.
ReplyDeleteI do worry... a LOT. I’ve been trying to prepare, but here in Hawaii, there’s been a panic and lots of store shelves (sanitizers, masks, etc.) are empty. My husband tells me not to panic, but it’s hard not to with all the news. Hawaii did not even have proper testing kits until very recently. I asked my daughter in Illnois to check their Targets, Walmarts, CVS, etc. and so much is gone there too. Since my husband and I are both 70 and over, it’s especially worrisome for me.
ReplyDeleteDo not panic. Avoid crwods and groups. If you have to meet up with people make sure you keep 6 feet from them while talking and do not shake hands. Wash your hands every 30 or so minuts while you are out and about. AVoid public bathrooms and perhaps eat out a lot less until this thing has peaked..
DeleteSo true!! We all are unaware of the future; still we move on thinking mishaps won’t happen to us. There is no point of living life scared, but the pandemic like corona needs to have a check. I too have ordered a mask, just to make others easy, in case I sneeze. I don’t want to be looked down either. I remember what my uncle used to say, how good it will be if we know when we are going to die; it can save us from unprecedented anxieties. Rip, the little girl. May you have a peaceful afterlife!!
ReplyDelete