October is a month for loading vans and trucks with banners, collapsible tables, brochures and pamphlets, giveaways, game boards, bottled water, and small plants.
I meet up at the museum or the historic grounds with other gray beards and we pretend we can assist others with plant plans, ideas, problems, identification, and ecology and climate issues. We are right maybe 75% of the time and also give them referrals that are more authentic for accuracy. It is something old people do to help ease their retirement days and pretend they are not becoming useless.
One of the men and his wife are recently divorced and they do not come together as a unit but move as very separate entities on opposite sides of the booth and talk to different people at different times. She is what some would say is a challenge. She has hearing issues but would also have an "in your face" personality even if she was not hard of hearing. He is a master at building and repairing and talking about his many projects. He also has an excellent grasp of soil and ecology even though he has no scientific background...he was a mechanic in the Navy for years. This year they have moved into separate homes and she clearly has a need for conversation.
Another man, a handsome, neat as a pin in his mid 70's comes early and assists in a quiet but accurate fashion. Late in the day a nurse wheels in his wife who is in a wheelchair after a severe stroke more than a year ago. He was angry and hard to work with for many months, yelling if you moved a brochure or adjusted a display. Now he has come back to earth and adjusted to the pain in his life. His wife, a delicate lovely lady, looks bright-eyed and interested, even though she does not talk. As I watch them in loving touching, I know they were a really beautiful couple in their wedding photos.
The Matriarch of our group who knows thousands of scientific names of plants has limited patience with those of us who keep using common names. Her husband passed just a little more than a year ago. They were sailing mates around the world for many years and he was a famous physicist. She also was angry and impatient for a while after his death. She still has little patience for our stupidity but smiles more these days.
The Girl Scout of this particular event (and many others) is a decade younger than most of us and keeps us organized. She belongs to several volunteer groups and seems to know many people who come by. She lost her husband a few years ago to Alzheimer's and I think (in her 60's) she is lonely. We, the old timers, were hoping for a matchmaking event with another naturalist in the community, but that was not meant to be.
I smile as I write this because I wonder how these folks above would describe me...and my husband...and our presence in this group. Do you sometimes wonder how other people see you?... Or do you not care? Or do you think you know?
I've never much cared what people think of me born I guess from hearing our parents tell us 'what will our friends and colleagues think' whenever they were angry with us the whole time I was growing up. as for what I think they think, well, I am blunt and honest to a fault (though I've tried to develop tact in my life) to the point that for many years I would warn potential new friends that I could be hard to take sometimes. I really couldn't tell you what someone would say if asked. but then it would always change with whoever you ask I would think based on their personal experience with me.
ReplyDeleteI joined a couple of plant identification groups on FB and on one of them the answer is always the latin name which helps me not at all. I much prefer the common names.
I choose to think they don't have as much to say about me as I have about them. Ha!
ReplyDeleteIt's not my business what others think of me. Mostly i hope they don't think of me much, and i try to be generous in how i think of others.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful descrption of community
ReplyDeleteAs for other people thinking of me, Eventually I hear the gossip. It's often more sad than complimentary.
This was a very interesting glimpse into the characters and problems of seniors. I don't think that people think too much of me as my wife is socially dominant. When they do think of me, it's probably that I am somewhat withdrawn and aloof but with a humourous side.
ReplyDeleteI am so little in groups that it's not an issue any more. I should join writer groups as networking is important both for support and maybe readers, but I had so many years of groups that I just don't do them now-- although I never say never. I see their value. Maybe FB is a group for me and I definitely have had people there who don't like me based on my views on culture, politics, etc. That would probably happen in a writer group if I spoke up-- be smarter not to :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I do wonder how others see my husband and me. We are happily married but need lots of space in our relationship. We might be in a situation like this but wouldn't be walking next to each other. But now you've got me wondering how others would see you and your husband. I love your blog but know little to nothing about him. :-)
ReplyDeleteRon and I were happy and our life together was filled with laughter. That was the main ingredient. People usually guessed that we were married at least 40 years instead of 14. That is how well suited we were to each other.
ReplyDeleteI know how I used to be seen by my women friends. Now I feel they think of me as the marvelously talented artist, as well as a mover and shaker in the political world. Instead I know all that is a lie now. Only a few who know me now still see me that way. I'll see what I think when the quilt is done.
ReplyDeleteCommon names please. :)
You are so quiet amidst your plants that I cannot leave notes any more. That's a sorrow.
ReplyDeleteMy other blog gets all the comments but because of Google+ they get turned off and on sometimes...I do think I can read them all.
DeleteI'm still trying to figure out why we grow old! Meanwhile, I like the chance to "meet" these people with your writing! Andrea
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wonder...I sometimes care...and then on the reverse side, sometimes I don't wonder, and don't care. I hope, like I guess we all do, that people who know me...understand me...and care. What those who don't know me think about me really is their concern not me.
ReplyDeleteThis answer could become very complicated so it's best I stop while I'm slightly ahead! lol
I still can't leave a comment about your flora and fauna. (frustrating.) I should get outside today and get shots of all the earth moving equipment outside. LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are good at people watching and excellent at describing it. It sounds an interesting group. That's an interesting question. When I was working I had a fairly good idea of what people thought of me in my workplace. Now that I'm retired and have moved into a new community I have no idea what people think of me but I hope its positive.
ReplyDeleteFYI: Google + is gone. They said it was because they didn't have enough users.
ReplyDeleteAs I got older I cared much less about what people thought of me. I think sometimes people have had expectations of me far beyond what I think of myself capable of offering. But then some people grossly under estimate me.
ReplyDeleteI was struck by your observation of anger in those folks, to what you attributed it and their gradual mellowing. I recall after my husband’s sudden unexpected death being conflicted with some anger feelings I knew it was not unusual to have such feelings, but seemed like I shouldn’t feel that way at the time.