Thursday, June 14, 2018

Grocery Event


I shop at the local big supermarket. Produce is less varied and must be selected more carefully than when I shop at the more expensive yuppie market across the bridge. While I am fortunate in that my grocery budget is ample for the two of us, I come from that old family farming culture which makes me shop most carefully and not buy so much that I have to throw out food at the end of the week. I do use mostly the outside aisles (bakery, produce, meat, and dairy) while avoiding the processed foods in the inner aisles. I get my cleaning stuff at the Big Box store, but in reality, if I paid attention to sales, I would not need to go there. This intro had nothing to do with my event yesterday, by the way.

I had four large bags of food and was loading them from the basket into the trunk. I heard someone shouting and looked up toward the door of the store. I was parked about eight cars away. Standing in front of the double doors and waving both arms was a black man in his 50s with salt and pepper closely cropped hair, tall and in reasonably good shape. He was all in black. There was a set of black earphones covering his ears, a black backpack and what appears to be a bit of paraphernalia tagged to his shirt pockets. He was also shaking his head from side to side. He was loud, but I could not figure out what he was saying as he was talking fast.  At first, I thought perhaps he was singing to some rap music that was coming from his earphones.  People entering the store pretended not to see him.

I finished loading the trunk and opened the driver's side door. The man started jogging in my direction. I then heard what he was shouting over and over again. "I can't take it anymore!..I can't take it anymore!..I can't take it anymore!"

I was not frightened as I got into my car and shut the door and he ran down the area in front of me between the parked cars. I was sad and curious instead. For just a second, I actually felt like re-opening the door and shouting after him..."ME TOO!"


Within a few seconds a man in a white shirt with a name tag and black dress pants and holding his phone appeared.  He was moving after the black man but did not seem to want to catch up with him as he typed something into his phone.  He stopped in front of my car and then another man in what appeared to be a supermarket shirt and cap (perhaps a deli-counter uniform?) showed up behind him.  The second man looked at me and then shook his head and chuckled.  I raised my shoulders and arms agreeing as if saying "WTF?"  But I do not swear, so I was more commiserating with the situation for all.

My take was that I wished I could have helped the man.  Had he shoplifted?  Had he threatened an employee?  Did he have a fight with another customer about who was next in line?  Did his mental illness manifest itself?  Was this a reaction to a drug (legal or illegal)?  I actually wish he has not been moving so fast and that I would have been brave enough to get out of the car and display some sympathetic body language if nothing else.

Clearly, this was not a major crime or even a novelty to the two employees who walked back into the store as I pulled out of my parking place.  The black man had totally disappeared as I found my way to the exit.  

Crime in our county has been climbing this last year.  Not sure why with all these great emplyment figures and growing economy (snark).

16 comments:

  1. They "say" that homelessness is down. But threats against schools are up dramatically. Robberies are up. Muggings are up. More folks are off their meds and yelling while they walk the streets in from of my house. Then again, it is better than having them yelling in the back of the driveway while they pissed on the truck tires. LOL

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  2. I read that minor robberies have been reduced to less of a crime-- like car burglaries, etc. in California. It has, not surprisingly, led to more crime of that level. I don't know if that would impact other states. For a long time, Oregon has regarded stealing a car as not a big deal. Odd, since it's the most expensive thing most ordinary folks own.

    I'd not approach someone who was acting mentally off with the stories I've heard. Seven or eight years ago, one of my friends had her daughter mutilated by a mentally ill man with a knife in a Walmart parking lot. We just don't know what others are capable of and I'd rather not experiment with it-- feeling sympathetic or not. It is too bad we don't have better answers for mental illness but clearly even for the rich, we don't right now :(

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  3. The ways things can go down nowadays, the man getting away from potential harm in being subdued, is also on the table of relief. Prayers he will be all right, and get the help he needs.

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  4. I understand your feelings in his situation. I think I would feel the same, wanting to help, not knowing what to do. I a

    I always remember when I was a young woman, studying in Ottawa, on my own, I smiled at a homeless man in a convenience store. He followed me all around the store. It scared me. I wasn’t familiar with homeless people. There were none where I was from. I see his face still to this day. As a result, I try to help others through the food bank etc. The experience had a profound effect on me.

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  5. My experience with the homeless was much like Marie's, I was also young.

    We have many jobs here in our small community but they are mostly minimum wage which is not enough to pay for a 1 bedroom apartment for one much less a family. I remember an editorial cartoon about minimum wage where the character was saying "there's lots of jobs available here and I have three of them."

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  6. You sure he wasn't just listening to music? Or maybe he was on the phone to his wife ... talking about the kids!

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  7. Sad to have a melt-down in public, then get the cops called after you... Still, you must protect yourself!

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  8. I remember going to a Los Angeles bar in my late twenties and seeing a man carrying on an animated conversation with an empty chair and it kind of scared me. then I would notice animated conversations and realize someone is just talking on a cell phone. Still, you never know. Be safe.

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  9. When you see someone in emotional pain like that you do wish you could help.

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  10. It's sad to see people who struggle ending up this way. When i can, i do try to at least commiserate with them. If they know nothing else, they can know they have been heard.

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  11. I wonder what the story of this man was. I guess we'll never know, and all of us are reminded that empathy and caring are important to everyone, no matter our circumstances. Glad you are okay and that you wrote about it.

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  12. hard to know what you can do in a situation like that. probably nothing. maybe simply ask 'do you need help'. black people and other people of color have it so much harder in this racist country with just day to day living. perhaps he encountered some unpleasantness due simply to the color of his skin in the store, some assumption of criminality.

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  13. Anonymous11:13 AM

    I think it was best for you to be in your car! Sometimes the most you can do for a person is say a prayer. Could be prescription drugs. They have awful side effects, especially if people stop taking them. Andrea

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  14. You likely did the wise thing by staying in your car despite your feelings of wanting to help. His behavior could well have been quite unpredictable and drawing attention to yourself might have been the exact wrong thing to do. I can appreciate the feeling of wanting to help, but it’s also important to recognize situations in which we should not become involved.

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  15. Deranged emotional people are scary but if they are not acting threatening, it is good to take some time to express sympathy. Often this is what they are hoping to hear. It is sad that they don't have anyone to sympathise with them.

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  16. For sure, this is not one's usual grocery run.

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.