Saturday, February 11, 2017

What is in Common?

My neighborhood is not as quiet as someone would think if they came down the side road into the neighborhood.  About half of us are retired and so busy in our yards or coming and going during the day.  The other half are still working and one has a nearby business office, so his workers driving heavy equipment go up and down the road at least a half dozen times during the week.  


This is the road after the last snow.


My  next door neighbor on the right (his house is above across the ravine) is an elder guy who can fix almost anything.  He is pretty much the go-to guy for that stuff in his church that needs fixing.  He and his wife are very religious in that they attend evangelical conferences at least once a a year and sometimes more in Florida.  He votes conservative and thinks climate warming is an unproven theory, and therefore, blows his yard every other day so that it remains neat as a pin.  He has two daughters and a son, none who live in this state.  Two of his children have divorced.  The son has a family in the Philippines although he is not married to the mother.  The son, a commercial pilot, also has an estranged ex-wife and son in South America that he was finally able to see at age 6 for the first time in as many years.  The divorced daughter is raising two girls on her own.  The other daughter has married for the first time at age 40 and has recently given birth to her first child which means they take more trips down to Florida to see the new little one.  They have a comfortable retirement as you can see from above.



My neighbor who lives on the left across the other ravine (their winter home in the photo above sadly empty this month) has lots more money.  I have written about them before.  They have had an expensive motor boat which they recently sold since they do not use it enough.  They also have a fancy sailboat that cost somewhere in the six figures and they take it out a few times a year.  They have a large huge home and even have an elevator in their house!  She started a church under one of those rather liberal religious sects in this community.  She and her husband vote liberal.  They now spend most of the winter months at their condominium in a snazzy area of Florida.  This is a second marriage for him and a first for her, so she holds Christmas holidays for his son's family before they head south.  His son is some genius engineer inventing materials for space.

All of these neighbors are really nice and kind and we help collect mail on travel and exchange tomato plants or baked food.  We go out to dinner with the liberal neighbors several times a year.  Both neighbors are very different from us.  We are comfortable middle class bureaucrats with no religious affiliation or interest in such and do not have the money that they have.  We do have grandchildren or step grand-children in common.  We share gardening with the neighbors on the right and food-eating with the neighbors on the left.  We all live in harmony and we support each other after hurricanes with removing trees and storing food in freezers if electricity is on or in the case of my neighbor on the right assist after recuperating from triple-by pass.  We are all college educated.  

I think about my neighbors when the craziness of the social news trolls starts getting to me.  We do have more in common that not and I keep hoping that we will see some middle ground on much of this soon.  I also realize that this is a rose-colored demographic and not how most of the U.S. lives.

22 comments:

  1. Interesting learning more about your life and neighborhood. It's always fascinating hearing how other people live. Take care.

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  2. Beautiful shots, thanks Tabor.

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  3. Great neighbourhood. It good to see what we have in common with neighbours instead of finding fault with them. It sounds like a great place to live.

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  4. I have been most fortunate with neighbors -- friendly and there when I need a hand or to exchange excess garden haul, but not in my face, not close enough to discuss religion or politics.

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  5. Interesting to get to know your neighbors a little better. I am always surprised to find how much I have in common with people if we ever get the chance to really speak to each other, including some who seem polar opposites to me in many ways. There are still those who seem like a lost cause even so.

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  6. I am a natural born liberal, but most of my family is conservative. We just don't talk about it, and we know we love each other, so that's enough. I have many blogging friends who are my polar opposites, but we respect each other's views and don't bad mouth each other. It works for me. :-)

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  7. We have friends of all stripes, and so try to keep all discussions civil. We always find out we have more in common than we thought.

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  8. Thanks for sharing this interesting perspective. I find that I can discuss differing opinions as long as their beliefs are based on facts. Unfortunately people I know, including some of my own siblings, are subject to click bait alternative facts, and won't even trust fact checkers. This makes it very difficult. With my brother and sister, we just will have to avoid the topics of politics and religion.

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  9. We have lived here 11 years. Houses are all a good distance of apart. Everyone around here stays busy with day to day concerns but would drop everything if any of us need help. I do not have a clue what their politics are.

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  10. There are a few liberals in this very red small town in Texas. I'm sure all my neighbors voted for the current occupant of the WH though I don't know for sure. I don't want to know because I have cordial relationships with my neighbors. politics is one topic that I, and perhaps they, avoid because it's a topic that never comes up.

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  11. I think social media is what becomes deceiving. I know out where I live probably more voted for Trump than Clinton but this go round nobody put up signs nearby (one Trump sign is still up 5 miles from us). We don't know much about the economic status of our neighbors, but more about who is polite and takes care of their property, who maintains their fences and keeps their livestock in-- or not. And when not, a neighbor, including us, often gets it back for them. I used to say people can be divided into caretakers and destroyers. I just think today it's harder to figure out which is which because talk is cheap and often we don't see the actions in people's lives-- especially not on social media where most of the rancor is most heated

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    1. I was the only one in my neighborhood who put up a sign. ONe of my neighbors called me brave for doing it. Not sure why standing by your political beliefs has to be a secret.

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    2. We put up signs for Obama knowing that wasn't likely to be popular locally. But this year, we didn't want either even though we voted for Hillary. I think the issue with a sign is you are possibly influencing someone else. I had no interest in doing so this go round.

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  12. I have to hope that in a pinch, people care and will help, but it's all so messy now and I can't wrap my poor brain around it. It is interesting to me that you know your neighbors political leanings, maybe they put signs up. I usually just have to assume.

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    1. My husband does not worry about talking politics with them, but he does not get into "discussions" over it. I was the only one in the neighborhood that put up signs.

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  13. We used to live on the ocean in a tourist/student area. I miss the fun and fuss, but not the homeless or drugs. Now we live only one mile up the hill, but, as a friend says, it's white bread land. The buildings are designed so that everyone enters and leaves from the bottom floor garage. I know little about my neighbors after almost 20 years. It may be safer, but it's isolation. No politics here.

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  14. Do I dare write about what has happened to the neighbors on farms surrounding the 70 acres I decided to keep when I moved away 20 years ago. I think not, much has changed, most passed away, new owners and no closeness like years ago.
    Also next door my beloved farm house where I healed 40 years ago, sold after 20 years, a doctor and his wife and
    wife does not speak as I sold some property adjoining them and she was mad. I sold property and guess she thought I never would. Sad and told they read my rambling :) So I dare not share the sadness they have caused me....

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  15. Interesting how we learn to live with others. There is a great divide in your country as there is in England, in ours it is called Brexit. So our household falls on either side of the argument but 'remainers' seem to accept the vote. What is more interesting, and as someone who is getting old, is that the old, or baby boomers' are being blamed for owning all the wealth and stopping the young from owning houses, enjoying a better salary, and of course blocking up the NHS service.

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  16. I don't worry over different political beliefs. Except a friend I know who also thinks global warming is a hoax! He also loves Trump. We don't agree on much politically, but still get along. I think the longer you know neighbors, the better they seem. In all the places I lived I only had one instance of folks I couldn't stand just before I moved here. Here is very people congested. Much closer than yours.

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  17. I'm not so forgiving. And living in Hawaii I don't need to compromise with "nice" people who voted for Trump in order to have friends. There are a few Trumpites around, but generally such people don't favor places like Hilo.

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  18. Interesting mix of neighbors you have, with delightful contrasts within the same family. Irrespective of any differences, we tend to find common grounds to bond--with strangers and friends alike. Lots more so in these days of social media bonds.

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  19. Clearly people can "get along" and think differences are what make life interesting -- as long as no one becomes over-bearing trying to force others to be like them, or rude and belligerent toward others different from them, or acts or speaks uncivilly.

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.