Monday, February 06, 2017

Just Do It, It's Good for You!

The photo above is my amaryllis pushing through the hard earth to the sun which, while it is stressful, it is good for the plant and will result in a beautiful blossom. 

I sort of thought, in the back of my mind---not consciously, that when I was an old retired f**t, most of the anxieties of my life would dwindle away into the level of stress that a rain storm on a picnic afternoon might cause.  I had run my finances and felt that I could pay for my late years.  I kind of worried that my days would be gray and boring and sometimes full of guilty waste but certainly less stressful.  Sure, in the distance I could see the challenges of aging and health, but not the Monday through Friday anxieties of raising a family or tending to a job and career that I had previously survived.  There would be no more dreadful Monday mornings of heading out in the gloom of a cold gray day to an office or leaving early in the day to tend to a very sick child as I fought rush hour traffic.

Well, those of you who are my age and sitting in your chair reading this know that I was wrong.  Life goes on and gets in your way and you get in its way if you are still breathing and talking and not hiding in a closet or sitting  on the side of  a mountain far away from civilization being a hermit.

The point I am wandering toward, and I do have a dull one as we climb this switchback, is every decision you make impacts your life in some way and sometimes that way is a little more annoying than you anticipated.

This morning I am on a new schedule.  My student from Peru, a woman in her early 40's (married to a retired Navy intelligence officer with PTSD and in his late 50's) is trying to improve her English and I am the next tail of a rocket that she has grabbed after passing her high school equivalency test through our county program.  She is sweetly pushy and demanding in her plans for this trip and she is eager for the rocket to continue at break neck speed.  Because her temporary jobs in this area require flexibility in my setting classes I must keep moving with a watchful eye on my calendar.  This month the classes are on Mondays at 11:00 A.M.!



I kind of dread this having to head out and having to be on my toes at this time of day.  I am a hard person to please.  I know this is both good for her and certainly good for me to get back into remembering digraphs, graphemes, irregular verbs and whatever.  This is a free wheeling project in that the county has done its job and I have no hard curriculum to follow.  As you may remember from a prior post, I have PILES of books to choose from and am trying to hone my focus and create some structure to this journey.

She wants success yesterday and I have explained to her that there is no magic wand that she or I can wave.  But I keep thinking to myself, am I focusing enough in the right areas.

Anyway, while I feel full of satisfied hope at the end of each class, I do feel a bit of tension as I plan each lesson and as I head out to each class.

I do know that this is probably good for me and I hope it is good for her and I will continue to stick my courage to the sticking place and just do it!


16 comments:

  1. Great thoughts and so true. My husband is involved in start up companies and the latest one's owner and I were talking and he was griping about how upsetting it all was. I said, but did you ever imagine life would still be so exciting and challenging at our ages as I go through all that with my books. I mean the expectation was sitting back in a rocking chair with the tv on or something. I'll take the upsets along with the challenges any day and hope it can stay that way to the end-- especially if I can go like my parents-- fast without a long illness (that's when it really takes toughness to push through).

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  2. I love that picture of the plant pushing through to the sun. Kind of feels like I do as I make my way through this awful winter storm outside. And yeah, retirement sure hasn't been peaceful for me, either.

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  3. The best thing I learned about retirement is how to say "no". First I felt guilty doing nothing. Now I enjoy doing what I want when I want and not letting others take advantage of my retirement. We are easy targets. I must say that you are probably doing exactly what you love and you are doing a wonderful thing for your student.

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  4. I had forgotten about your tutoring. Monday 11 AM, I would be hard pressed too.

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  5. How great that you use your skills to tutor someone to improve their life. Very admirable.

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  6. What ever is a digraph or graphene? I had a wicked english teacher, and she somehow missed those words in her instruction. Then again, I was thinking that she called them something else.
    Can she not some to you?

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    1. The program requires that we meet in a neutral public area (like a study room at the local library) for protection of both student and client and it does make sense.

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  7. Retirement gets filled with life too. I have to limit what I take on because there is lots out there. ESL is an area I would enjoy teaching I think too. Well done!

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  8. I make sure to never schedule anything on a Monday. All those years of working made me dislike that dayvery much. Enjoying a weekend without the thought of the dreaded Monday and all it brings is one of the great joys of retirement.

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  9. I barely remember digraphs from teaching 1st grade. It's great that you're exercising your brain and keeping active in so many ways. Good for you!

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  10. Wishing you well with your tutoring

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  11. Such an excellent undertaking! Thank you for volunteering to do this.

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  12. Such a good thing you do. Digraphs etc. wow! I did some basic ESL tutoring, but it was more about basic living skills such as reading a bus schedule and getting around. I was surprised at how fast they learned.

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  13. After the freedom of retirement, committing to anything scheduled can feel like an intrusion. I signed up for a tai chi class that meets two mornings a week, and I'm not sure the demands on "my time" are worth it. How spoiled I am at having things my way.

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  14. I understand how you and Linda feel, but I just go do it.
    So sorry you didn't have a glorious day yesterday. I'm posting another rose shortly. :)

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  15. Can appreciate what you're saying. This is what I'm trying to do, too -- avoid commitment, deadline and pressure, no matter how much I enjoy actually doing what I do in my work. Mostly, of the groups I've joined, there's no great expectation we must be present every meeting. I attend usually, but there have been occasions I simply didn't want to go, and didn't -- no self-imposed guilt, no accusations about where was I. Your work is laudable. Sorry you had such a day and don't we wish they didn't happen.

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.