It is spring and in spite of the beautiful rewards of re-growth outside I have been forcing myself to move on task each day. Being alone gives me lots of time for thinking...too much thinking. All kinds of issues, ideas, regrets, plots, plans, and philosophical ideas tumble in my brain. I have never had a quiet mind and that is one of the reasons, I think, that I like to read and watch television. It is escape and helps me push the pause button. Otherwise I resolve and re-resolve problems and relationships from the past endlessly.
As Jane Fonda says, this is the third (and final) act and we hope so much to get it right. We hope to adjust with lessons from history, to be more accepting of changes and to pick our battles much more wisely. We hope to be more motivated and better at seeing opportunities to contribute wisely. We are surprised when age has brought with it only some wisdom.
I have been in a bit of a slump. Nothing big. Nothing to write home about. AND nothing I can really put my finger on, which is the conundrum. But it seems lately I have been thinking more pessimistically than optimistically. Even avoiding the news has not given me a boost.
And then two things happened this week which turned the corner at long last.
One was a nice long call from my daughter whom I do not see often enough. She has a SUPER BUSY life filled with work and weekend activities and we had not talked in a long time--over a month. I hesitate to call as it never seems the right time at her end. She had been meaning to call for weeks, but was so busy she never could pick up the phone. Then we had an hour to just chat and laugh and tease and love. Better than any pill or sunset.
Second, a former work friend of mine, whom I see once a year if time permits, texted me that she needed a babysitter for her grandson for a little over an hour while she went to the chiropractor. This little guy is 9 months old and could be into everything. I love kids, felt deep down somewhere I needed a baby fix, and thus said yes. He was a mellow fellow and calmly crawled around the house until he found the toys and spent the rest of the time tasting them.
Two magic bullets. What are your magic bullets?
Time with our granddaughters, five and three, keep me attached to life. I also do some volunteer work. I love to help our daughter and her family any way I can because I am on my own schedule these days. It gives me purpose and enjoyment. We moved to be near our family. I cannot imagine not being near them now. I would not be happy I think.
ReplyDeleteMy young granddaughter's and when my children visit.
ReplyDeleteAt this time of life
just does not seem often enough
Always independent
hate
being needy in this last act :)
I find my joy in being of use to others and selfishly, appreciated. The third act can be lonely as life was so busy before and now it isn"t. I find plenty to do, but sometimes think that I am just filling time.
ReplyDeleteYour magic bullets are mine, too - family and children. Reading is also a great escape. Nature calls to me, and I listen. Often, I think as I'm walking outside, but my thoughts seem to fit into perspective better and problems dont loom as large.
ReplyDeleteLearning guitar and quality time with Mrs . C.
ReplyDeleteMy magic bullets is making a quiet connection with nature.
ReplyDeleteMargot called to tell me she loved me. What could be better than that.
ReplyDeleteThen Claudia stopped by to tell me that the lump was non invasive, and they were going to treat it with one hormone pill a day. Made my day indeed.
Now we both have to get G to make us one of those Japanese charcoal carriers. :)
My magic bullet is when I get totally involved in a painting and it seems as if the picture is painting itself.
ReplyDeleteI read and watch TV for the same reason, to calm a busy mind.
ReplyDeleteI tend to get down too, but i have decided that I really don't need to prolong any lows right now, since things are going well for my family. S I remind myself of that and make myself smile. It works.
Reading, doing puzzles, or just having a few minutes without interruption. Those minutes are hard to come by in this house.
ReplyDeleteFamily, grandkids and kids. Reading and movies, does stop me from thinking.
ReplyDeleteI don't think of tv as a magic bullet although I have been watching it a lot lately: binging on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteA drive in the country is nice, as is going out to breakfast with Sue. Taking and processing a decent photo is right up there, and I guess writing the occasional blog post that has a little more to it than the usual fare. Having Danica out of school for her birthday and seeing the joy on her face the whole day long was great for my heart.
A good book and my vegetable garden. I'd also add hiking but right now I can't do that and it makes me feel blue. Also good friends are my magic bullets every time. :-)
ReplyDeletegardening. and making. but making is hard to start when I'm feeling 'displaced' and uninspired. for many years when my life was in turmoil it was getting on the river. being a river guide saved my life in many ways.
ReplyDeleteLast week it was the red tulips. Last night it was a cello concert. It's amazing how much life can offer even when I'm in a slump, which seems like a way of life for me now. I call beta glucan for immune modulating my silver bullet when I'm feeling sick.
ReplyDeleteHappy Earth Day to you too.
ReplyDeleteAww. I get this. Those slumps (especially the unexplained slumps) are so frustrating. But it is amazing how little things can turn it around. I was experiencing that kind of slump on my birthday morning. Then my best friend called (we don't get to talk often and it had been about a month as well) and we had the nicest talk. It completely turned the day around. Love that.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you and the daughter got to reconnect again. Does a heart good. :) And that little guy is just adorable. I ALWAYS need a baby fix. ;)
I'm with you in the way getting older gives time to run over old times and relationships. And what a lovely way to get jolted back into the present. A little person whose whole attention is fixed on the tasting task at hand. Every Blessing to you and yours
ReplyDelete