It is spring and in spite of the beautiful rewards of re-growth outside I have been forcing myself to move on task each day. Being alone gives me lots of time for thinking...too much thinking. All kinds of issues, ideas, regrets, plots, plans, and philosophical ideas tumble in my brain. I have never had a quiet mind and that is one of the reasons, I think, that I like to read and watch television. It is escape and helps me push the pause button. Otherwise I resolve and re-resolve problems and relationships from the past endlessly.
As Jane Fonda says, this is the third (and final) act and we hope so much to get it right. We hope to adjust with lessons from history, to be more accepting of changes and to pick our battles much more wisely. We hope to be more motivated and better at seeing opportunities to contribute wisely. We are surprised when age has brought with it only some wisdom.
I have been in a bit of a slump. Nothing big. Nothing to write home about. AND nothing I can really put my finger on, which is the conundrum. But it seems lately I have been thinking more pessimistically than optimistically. Even avoiding the news has not given me a boost.
And then two things happened this week which turned the corner at long last.
One was a nice long call from my daughter whom I do not see often enough. She has a SUPER BUSY life filled with work and weekend activities and we had not talked in a long time--over a month. I hesitate to call as it never seems the right time at her end. She had been meaning to call for weeks, but was so busy she never could pick up the phone. Then we had an hour to just chat and laugh and tease and love. Better than any pill or sunset.
Second, a former work friend of mine, whom I see once a year if time permits, texted me that she needed a babysitter for her grandson for a little over an hour while she went to the chiropractor. This little guy is 9 months old and could be into everything. I love kids, felt deep down somewhere I needed a baby fix, and thus said yes. He was a mellow fellow and calmly crawled around the house until he found the toys and spent the rest of the time tasting them.
Two magic bullets. What are your magic bullets?