One of my volunteer groups had its beginning planning meeting yesterday. Some of us had not seen each other for months during the winter hiatus. We are 8 little old ladies of similar cultural, educational and economic backgrounds. The main part of the meeting had little substance as we all knew what we were going to do and just had to detail the when and where.
Instead we discussed several of the ladies winter trips, one to India, another around the world and another to visit relatives up north. The the jewelry beader among us discussed buying beads in India that were more expensive than here while showing off her newly made earrings and the lady with the doctorate in forestry talked about her graduate school alumni around-the-world trip where they hired a converted jet that seated 80 and thus everyone flew first class! We all talked briefly about our health and the awful weather. Then we departed into the cold to head home or to run errands.
I was somewhat dismayed when I got home and dropped the mail on my desk. I am a full-fledged cliche. I am that person I promised I would never become. I am ego-centric enough to have never seen myself as one of the "ladies who lunch." There is nothing wrong with that group, but I always wanted to be the edgier one, the one who was REALLY making a difference, the one whom others liked but also looked a little askance at since I marched to my own drummer and they could not hear the beat of that drum. I wanted to be the one that accomplished something special. I wanted to be the one that was warmed deep inside by what I had accomplished, what I had given or helped complete.
I guess I am going to have to think harder about how I am running this last part of my life!
Holy cow.... You have a wonderful life... WE humans cannot compare our lives to others...We all may not get to go to India --or around the world! BUT--we make the most of the lives we have. Don't second-guess yourself. Just be YOU --no matter which drum you march to-- and be happy with the YOU that you are!!!! (Advice which is easy to SAY --but hard to follow at times. I know!!!! ha)
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Betsy
Maybe it's where you live. I was thinking, when I read your post, how no group like that would be around me but if I had been living the last thirty some years in Corvallis, it could be. We are influenced by our peer group at all ages-- if we have one ;). I don't think it's a bad thing either.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing is recognizing are we an introvert or extrovert as it will depend on from where we get our energy. Comparing, what an introvert needs to an extrovert's needs, is a losing game. In our world the extroverts are admired and introverts are pressured to be more outgoing and extrovert like. Extroverts also make up the majority of the American culture or so I've read. So fitting into a group is a need of an extrovert but not the introvert.
I don't know how much this related to what you are talking about as I never had a need to be the rebel but I've always walked the road less traveled and actually have that in a blog post I wrote for tomorrow ;). I think it's easier to do for us introverts (who are not by the way shy necessarily).
Everyone's journey through life is different. Maybe you just need a fresh perspective to understand all that you've accomplished.
ReplyDeleteThere are all kinds of accomplishments. I hope you can enjoy theirs and yours and savor the difference. Other people are like reading books about new things, enjoyable but with a real person there.
ReplyDeleteI loved loved loved this post! There is an urgency that stirs my retired soul but I can't quite grasp how to "do" this most important part of my life in a way that sings my own authentic song. We should have lunch!
ReplyDeleteI've been retired for 18 months now, and still haven't figured it out. In that time you've probably put in hundreds of volunteer hours while I just daydreamed and walked the dogs.
ReplyDeleteRain's comment about Corvallis jolted me...that's where I live, and it's true that you describe many a volunteer group here, groups that I avoid.
Think about it, and list what you've done and what you want to do. Then make the rest of your life about doing those things.
ReplyDeleteHey, we won't all accomplish great things in life, but we all have to eat sometime, and lunch is good.
ReplyDeleteYou may not be doing what you THOUGHT you wanted to do, but are you doing what you want to do? Are you happy day to day?
ReplyDeleteThat might just be enough.
And what an interesting group of ladies to lunch with.
Oh, I sympathize! And I'm eager to see what you do next... :)
ReplyDeleteThere are little lives and big lives. Both types have value.
ReplyDeleteRain, describes what is going on in my mind at the moment and puts it in better words then I can at this early hour.
ReplyDeleteI like the road less traveled.
Here I am sad that I am not doing more at age 71, and thinking similar thoughts to yours. When I was in my late twenties and early thirties, I did take part in changing my world here in a big way. Now I am really happy with my job helping the American Cancer Society, but for a while I worried that the job wasn't at all meaningful. As I have more problems with parts of me wearing out, I've come to the decision that any time freely given is a good thing. What a great topic. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind, but I am going to quote you this morning. You have really stirred up my thinking.
ReplyDeleteBut you do make a difference!
ReplyDeleteBlessings from Dalamory
In my different arenas, I get to display my many sides. Sometimes, I'm more intellectual than the other people I'm with and they listen. Sometimes the others are more intellectual and I listen. Sometimes I'm with a group who wants to talk about their kids non-stop so I switch gears and try to add a tidbit, too.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm veering off a little, but anyway to try to get back on - our expectations of ourselves are generally more than what others expect of us (excluding job situations). Friends and companionship is important. Enjoy those gatherings and leave when you've had enough. :)
You always make a difference to me, n I love your opinionated blogging.
ReplyDeleteI often have the thought I'm not making a big enough difference myself- But not much is with in my power these days....
I hope the world can evaluate you as very valuable to the future one day!