Family!

Family!  I think that the best of us, and the worst of us is brought forward at weddings and funerals.  I love each of my brothers (2) and my sister (1) and my dearly departed sister (1) tremendously.  I like my brother-in-law; I like my sister-in-law; and I tolerate with patience my other sister-in law.  None of us are perfect and we all come from various backgrounds and relationships, and if you love someone you tolerate those they love.  I am lucky in that I do not live too close, and therefore, find it easy to keep my opinions to myself. 

When I used to fly out to visit them, I would have to stop by my "baby" brother's house, because he could never get away to see me the entire week I was there at my parents farm only 8 miles away.  He would fix me and my husband a lovely dinner and we would visit and enjoy each others' company.  His wife would never be there, though.  She was always off visiting friends or doing something vague which never was clear in my mind.  Years later I learned that her first child had arrived her Senior years in high school and resulted in a quick wedding that did not last.  She never went to college but I really think she never wanted to.  One marriage and two more children later, she married my brother.  That was when I believed her insecurity at being with us college educated types without such divorce histories was her reason for avoiding us.  I went out of my way to make her feel I was not judgmental in any way and made sure that she understood I thought her three children from two prior marriages were shining examples of good people...which they really are!  Yes the first two have illegitimate children and have never married, but they are basically good solid folk.  The last (under my brother's stronger influence) did make it through college without getting pregnant and seems to have a solid relationship with someone and without children at this time.

Anyway, the stimulus for this diatribe post is my brother's public comment on FB (not the private messaging venue) that he did not have a suit for my son's upcoming wedding.  I thought he was joking and we commented back and forth over a few days until I finally explained that a shirt and tie would make him more comfortable than those in suits sitting in the late afternoon summer sun...the wedding is outside and a suit was not compulsory. 

Now this week, just 12 days before the wedding he PUBLICLY comments on FB that there is a 'snag' in their plans to fly out for the wedding and the later drive to my house.  The dog sitter they had arranged for could not come and they hope to find one that "they approve of" before they have to leave!  He has never come out to see me in all the years I have lived on the East Coast except for my daughter's wedding ten years ago.  Although I have been to visit him at least three times since then.  I do love him, but think this is all someone else's insecurities coming forward.  I think someone does not want to spend time with all the in-laws and is hoping she will not have to.  Unfortunately, even her first born son had said to me years ago that she is a very selfish and self-centered person. 

Do I sound just a little annoyed?  Well, I am.  This  is not a big deal to anyone, but me, of course.  OK, got it off my chest, now I can enjoy this wedding.