My daughter has invited me to a belated sharing to celebrate Mother's Day now past. I have told her time and again, I just want time...perhaps a lunch at a cafe and a movie matinee. But, she is bringing along my 5-year-old granddaughter who sometimes seems more like 6. It will be a girls day and I am not sure what it will be. At first I thought it was the rose show in her area, but she said we would be spending the time in-doors and not walking much and I am sure my granddaughter is not (yet) into roses. All will be revealed later and it will be fun.
BUT this post is not about that. It is about how busy my life seems these days. With a wedding, various holidays, a field trip I am planning for my volunteer group, my volunteer work, my own gardening, relatives coming back from the wedding to my house for several days, babysitting the grandchildren for three days twice this summer, and a schedule next week for an oven repair, I am beginning to feel like life is too busy for me. Many of these are necessary time sumps and others are things of joy that I love. But as a creative soul, I find they take away from my reading, my photography, and my writing and my re-charging. With age I am finding that quiet time is so essential to my soul. I need it like most people need water, and now that I am retired, I really want to cram as much quiet time as possible into my days...those few thousand days that us old folks treasure.
Those of you who are young wonder why two or three days full in an otherwise empty week can be so draining, but someday, if you are lucky to live a long life, you will find that bouncing back is just a little harder and greed for this me-time is just a little stronger. Perhaps it is a rebound from all the hours, days and weeks we sacrificed for our family and job when we were younger. OR you may be like my husband and have a passion for filling every single hour of every single day with some project or activity and totally forgetting many of these things when they collide on a calendar!
Yes, I can still juggle three grandchildren, their meals and fun times, and my email and bills and housecleaning and travel and exercise and hobbies. But once I get a day of unscheduled breathing room, I tend to stare into space and breathe slowly for hours or read poetry or watch a good British mystery on TV while I slowly fold clothes. I am like a cell phone that needs to be plugged into the wall and not used for hours. I can't even carry on a conversation as that is too draining!
So if there are greater gaps in my blogging you will know that I am downloading some energy somewhere.
I don't usually offer advice...but after baby rivers' recent big wedding, I let everyone, and I mean everyone, know that I would be "off the grid" for six days. No visits, no calls, no email, no volunteering, no consults, nothing. I called it my wedding mommymoon. Just needed to rest, reflect, recharge and be. It was perfect.
ReplyDeleteYes. I hear you. I am the SAME way. I need some off time.
ReplyDeleteHope you find some off time soon!
Understand
ReplyDeleteand as time goes on
you may need recharging more often.
Oh, I totally understand, and you described it so well. It's a recharging of the soul. I've always been like this. Even when I was small, I would find a tree to climb where I could just sit and ponder. I hope you get your recharging time soon!
ReplyDeleteAmen and Amen! Charge away!
ReplyDeleteWe all wish you whatever it takes to keep you coming with your great posts. Everyone needs a bit of recharging once in a while....just be sure to take notes:)
ReplyDeleteOh, you know I understand. I will miss working with the books, but it will be nice to have a break from volunteering when I get a hip. I make a point of being free from 1430 on most afternoons and read or just look at nothing. Sometimes I even begrudge cooking. Yes, dinner out last night was really good.
ReplyDeleteI agree....maybe my introverted nature is just more apparent but I can't handle too many things in a day or even in a series of days without needing down time...quiet time...do nothing and I don't care time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so curious to know what the celebration will be! I so totally relate. I just came off a string of stories for the paper and I just want to hide my head in the sand now and crash for a week! I need lots of days unplanned to recharge as well, just me and the chickens.
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE to have hours of unterrupted time. Each summer, I wait for my husband to take our daughters on a vacation without me, but it has yet to happen.
ReplyDeleteAt 55, with kids still at home, I know that it is not time in my journey to stop the obligatory seeking and growing. I only hope that when that time comes, that I can be allowed to put the brakes on and to seek and grow on my own terms.
I don't want to rush my life away or my kids out of the house because there is pleasure in both, so I try to stay in the now because it is what it is.
Not optimistic about having a lot of re-charging time 10 years from now, though, because ALL my older friends and relatives say exactly as you do - that they are STILL too busy. :)
Last thing: I once heard of a person who took a month off each year, i.e. told everyone that she is not to be contacted. I thought that was a worthwhile thing to do.
I like to keep busy, but I like my busyness ti be of my own choosing, and on my own schedule. Too much social,interaction, or too much outside input into my schedule, and I am on overload. So I understand perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way. It's always go go go ... but then, I need some me time to recharge. With all the cell phones and email and internet, the world comes at us so much faster!
ReplyDeleteI thought about you today as I shuffled near mountains of incoming books today. It seems, as I get older, that I don't do really well with chaos. I need to change that.
ReplyDeleteHow are you today?
I don't mind gearing down, but my life is set up so I can do that. It is hard to let go of obligations, but for me it's happened. In my early elder years I did a lot, but now I want to read and write and do other creative projects. I get the basics done, of course, but they are just things everyone has to do and they don't eat up my life.
ReplyDeleteRYN: Orange indeed. This wall is certainly a cadmium orange deep. The yellow house I was talking about is far away downtown. Grumpy lost his brakes yesterday, I anywhere I go will be on foot or with G, darn it. Hopefully there's some flowers outside my front door.
ReplyDelete