Monday, May 05, 2008

Being Dishonest with Yourself

Onward and Upward

For a number of months, if not a number of years, I have imagined my first day of retirement. I kept thinking that the very first thing I would do would be pretty much nothing for a long time. Remember the movie (and book) The Da Vinci Code? The first victim uses the symbol of Vitruvian Man as his clue upon his death. I have always been intrigued by that image created by "
the Roman architect Vitruvius. Vitruvius, a proponent of the Sacred Geometry of Pythagoras, designed temples based on the proportions of the human body, believing them to be perfect." It seems to represent Mankind's way of trying to merge with the 'imperfect' biology of the planet. In some way, that has been my nemesis...always trying to get to that level of perfection that brings peace. This is why I need to work on meditation, exercise, gardening...so that I find the inner perfection that is the only real perfection.

For some reason that symbol has floated in my mind for years --- this was one of the images NASA sent into outer space to identify mankind to the aliens. It is a mathematical representation of mankind, but to me it represents the essence of the human being with that full frontal, open armed 'take me as I am' stance.

I kept thinking I would like to take a bare space on the floor of my house the very first morning and actually lay down stark naked in exactly that position with a sort of yoga attitude and "reach" for my potential once I had acquired my 'retirement freedom.' I imagined this numerous times...but, I didn't do it. Maybe because I had done it in my mind so many times. I don't know.

I do know, that once you have free direction and lots of free time, you are who you are and will end up doing what your true self tells you to do. I am a busy bee. I can only be happy when surrounded by organization. The first day I was on my feet all day getting my closet in order. I had brought down the winter clothes last month and they remained hung or piled in arbitrary fashion. I separated clothes to be pressed from those to be mended. I found that shoes were everywhere and I threw many out. My plastic bags of shampoos, creams, etc. that I had stored at my daughters house added to the large collection of stuff I had already put in various containers here at the house. Living in two places means you forget what you have and end up with too much stuff everywhere. I cleaned out the medicine drawers and threw away hundreds of dollars of expired concoctions and remedies.

At the end of this long day of lifting and sorting, I 'rewarded' myself by cleaning all of my jewelry. I have a small collection of silver necklaces and earrings that have not been polished in ages. I washed the pearls and other natural stones. I sorted out the amber. I do not own any valuable jewelry---diamonds, rubies, gold, etc...but have a number of pieces acquired over the years of natural stones as reminders of trips, etc. I took a trip down memory lane with each of the pieces.

Then I started the first of the laundry loads. As the end of a beautiful spring day eased in, I poured a glass of wine and headed out to my lovely deck to look at the water through the 'green mansions.' Hubby and I were amazed at how lucky we are at this time in our life and pray that this luck holds.

9 comments:

  1. That is a list of what would make up one of my favorite days! I, too, love organization and cleaning out, and I would be extremely self-satisfied after such a day. OH, and tired, too! LOL Good for you! I still think you should lie down naked....

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  2. I bet you'd look purty, all splayed out like that (with your clothes on?).

    Happy retirement.

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  3. sounds like you had a busy, productive, and very happy day! i like imagining you in your new home, owning every second of your day and night, happily involved in something which brings you pleasure. good for you - and here is a toast to you and your hubby! happy retirement to you both. sitting outside and enjoying the view of the water sounds splendid. :)

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  4. Well heck, I think it would have made a super photo entitled
    "Retirement" And just think what blog traffic you would get
    :)

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  5. Anonymous9:46 AM

    I woke up this morning and actually said to myself, "So is this how it's going to be?" Since being mostly retired I have reverted to my unleashed self and the pace is amped up beyond what I ever expected.

    A friend once suggested an exercise where you sit in a chair and do not get up by way of any thought the mind has. You let each impulse pass. Eventually I found that you get up without thinking for the reason that is more authentic than the earlier prompts.

    I also once laid out flat on the kitchen floor for about 15 minutes just to shock my sons out of fighting. It changed the whole dynamic when they saw me like that. It was quite a performance.

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  6. Thanks for visiting my new blog.
    Yes, the movie experience was terrible. I had signed a contract and got myself into something that I could not get out of.
    Took me weeks to get my beautiful home back in order.
    Retirement for me, what is it? So far in my new smaller home 10 months and still have not found that extra time to just sit and read and do nothing.
    Of course I am planting my new flower garden and a small kitchen garden for one. My type A personality has not slowed down yet. I want so to be lazy and not so neat.
    Blessings to you

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  7. tabor, please delete the last comment in your "room without walls" blog..the one with the link. it may be a virus. for sure it is a scam. also when you click on the person who left it you get the same sort of link...there is NO blog. you end up at a virus protection place which may be a cover for installing a virus. i ran my spyware today after getting caught in that mess to be sure my computer was ok. i always run viral protection when i am on the computer. hubby (microsoft mgmt) told me not to click on that link or return to what appeared to be a blog link there again. thought you should know so none of your other readers get caught up in the mess i did.

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  8. Beautiful photo. I would probably start many jobs the first week of retirement, but wouldn't finish them. Drives my daughter nuts!

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  9. That sounds very productive for the first day. After reading this and the post above I realized you are a female Dave. lol

    Go Tabor! Enjoy

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